"Crush" by Zen'Aku Lati

Disclaimer: I don't own Tommy, Mercer or any instance of Dino Thunder. If I did, it would've made a hell of a lot more sense, I tell you that much…

Author's Note: This takes place during that long gap of absence between Turbo and Forever Red, spanning that whole time, and is coming from Tommy's POV. Please don't stone me for what I imply here, but a chica's gotta make it make sense for her own sanity…All the same, enjoy.

Thanks: Much love to Dagmar Buse and Askari Knight for the reviews. Thank you all for all the attention you've been giving me. It means a lot to know that my first fanfic is so well received…

Part XI

That was the wake-up call. It was the swift kick in the ass I needed.

I came away with just a broken leg. It was enough to tell me something needed to give…

It wasn't the fact that I nearly died that woke me up. It was because I nearly died in the pursuit of a rush.

A rush…

I was clinging to the past. Clinging to something I'll never have again. Those days are over…

Nearly crushed in the cage of that racecar…

But I was fortunate. I could recover; my leg healed. But she wasn't so fortunate. One of my oldest friends, gone in a flash, due to no real fault of her own.

Gone. Just like that.

Irony was a real bitch. At 100 miles per hour my racecar crashes and I get away with a broken leg. But a car accident with her just going about her business takes her life.

If there was any time at all where I felt I was invincible, she showed me I had been wrong.

Dead wrong…

Suddenly I was donning a color I never thought would suit me, amongst people whom I hadn't seen in years, wearing the same dark shade. But it wasn't a happy occasion that brought this gathering.

The team. The Gang. Back together again…but just to say goodbye to one of our own…

I came away with a new hue to suit me and the realization, My God, I'll be thirty soon…

I remember looking in the bathroom mirror with a pair of scissors in my hands, realizing that clinging was getting tiresome.

I ran a hand through my hair, and put the scissors to it.

Snip.

I watched the hunk of hair tumble down to the sink. I began to think back on everything I once thought defined me.

Snip. Gone were the Sword of Darkness and the Evil Green Ranger.

Snip. Gone were Kimberly, Zach and…Trini…

Snip. Gone was transient Jason…

Goodbye, Red Ranger.

Goodbye, life in the fast-lane…

I was letting go of the Power…I was letting go of him…

I looked down at the sink full of hair and acknowledged how strange it felt to not have that weight on my head. But it was good. I suddenly felt as though for the first time in my life I was taking control.

I took my racing earnings, saw a barber and enrolled in college. I found that I also needed glasses. Wow, who would've thought? Me, in spectacles…

It's funny how smart you get when you're taken seriously. When you no longer fit the mold of some pretty-boy jock…

I was taking this opportunity the start afresh.

It's funny how you can excel when you change goals…

I was pursuing a Ph. D, I scored an awesome internship…and suddenly there was a new "him" in my life…

Anton Mercer.

Trust-worthy, driven…constant…exactly what I needed…

I saw in him someone who could mentor me in how to keep it together…

How to let go…