Not A Chair

"What is it?"

"Looks like a chair."

'Nah, the box is right here, it's exercise equipment."

"O.K. Rodney….We're curious, what exactly is it?"

"This, my friends, is a vital piece of exercise technology. The first of its kind in the Pegasus Galaxy."

"Oh…..Kay…so how does one use this 'vital' exercise equipment?"

"Allow me to demonstrate!"

"Needs cup holders."

"What? Cup holders! I told you it's not for sitting, it's for .."

"Exercise, we know already!"

"…couple of pillows too."

"Again, SO not a chair! Observe. The pre-workout stretch."

"Ouch! That's gotta hurt!"

"No, um, well, actually….it feels pretty good….so far. Now I'll just…hummpf….."

"Are you sure you're doin' that right, 'cause McKay, you look like you're gonna damage somethin' vital."

"Oh please, there are pictures right on the box, you're supposed to bend like this. It came with a DVD for you slower learners. Feel free to borrow it before you take this baby for a spin."

"Now, as I…. one, two…three….demonstrate….I'll do maybe twenty,…err…ten reps."

"You gotta be kiddin" me. That's exercise?"

"Four….five…..just because….six….it's not running laps…seven….around the city…phew…eight…. Or beating someone senseless with sticks…nine… doesn't mean…ten…'s not exercise. It states clearly on the box that I will be 'toning and strengthening my lower abs and obliques'."

"Yep, it's on there…says it 'builds strong and sexy abs'! Look out ladies of Atlantis!"

"Oh, hah hah! Mock me now Sheppard. You're just jealous. In a few short weeks I'll be sporting a six-pack."

"Of what?"

"Et tu Ronan? I would think you of all people would recognize the benefits of physical training."

"Perhaps you should not demonstrate any longer. The people on the box seem to be in very good physical condition."

"Let me try it then."

"NO! There's a weight limit…250 pounds maximum…I mean, no offense big guy, just guessing here…but seriously, you've gotta be close."

"So…..two people, then…"

"Sheppard, that is just so…"


"Not what I was going to say, but …yeah. Huh. Anyone else care to give it a try? Anyone, say, of normal proportions?"

"I would like to try. It looks similar to Athosian flexibility training."


"Oh my god! Pull your mind from the gutter."

"This exercise…..seems…worthy. I can see that it forces the use of certain muscle groups."

"Yeah, the kind McKay never uses!"

"Hey, I'll have you know…"

"Believe me….we….do not….want….to know!"

"Just where are you going to keep this thing? Kinda tight for space in the quarters isn't it?"

"Should put it in the lounge with the other chairs."

"For the last time….This is NOT a chair! It possibly belongs in the gym."

"You put that thing in the gym and you will get hit with sticks!"

2 weeks later…Atlantis lounge….

"Well, look who it is in his 'not chair'."

"What's McKay doing?"

"I believe it is called 'working out'."

"Well, he's gonna spill that popcorn."

"We should remove his beverage as well."

"Told ya, needs cup holders."

"We should not disturb him."

"Agreed. He needs all the 'exercise' he can get."

The End


Again, Stargate Atlantis not mine, not making any money on it.

I'm working on a longer fic, but the above was inspired by a recent purchase and I couldn't resist!