Would've been out earlier, but the step-kids are visiting, and the kids come first. End of story. Sorry.

Chapter 6

Teddy's Girls – Part 2 Operation Can-opener

They decided to wait for night to fall fully, then, with Larry and Cordy as point, left the library to take care of their problem tinnie.

At first Jesse was unsure about Cordy going off on her own, but then he remembered that she was more than capable of taking care of herself, so he kept his opinion, and his fears, to himself. This was noted by Cordelia, who appreciated his faith in her.

"There," Larry whispered to Cordelia, "do you see it?" and he pointed towards Ted's basement apartment.

"Yeah, feels, strange. Devoid of life," whispered back Cordelia. She walked up to the apartments door, and took a closer look at the locks on the door. "There's nothing that I can do with this short of my light-sabre. Maybe one of the others," she suggested. At Larry's shrug, she sent a Force suggestion through to Dawn and waited.

A few minutes later, everyone else had arrived. "So, what's the skinny?" Kit asked, looking around for uninvited company of the vampiric kind.

"Several different types of locks, Cordy can't pick them with anything short of her light-sabre," Larry said shortly. "Any of you got any suggestions?"

"Let me see," Carlos said as he slid forward. "Aah, piece of cake," he grinned cockily as he reached for the first one.

"I hater it when he does that," Kit groaned, her memories of Princess Leia surfacing rapidly, and making her shudder.

"Got it!" Carlos grinned, "one down -"

"3 to down," snarled Cordelia. "Don't get complacent, fly-boy."

"Yeah, yeah. Bite me, Cordy," Carlos said as he rapidly picked the second one and prepared to start on the third.

"Perhaps not. But I will," a voice behind them said.

"You just had to say it, didn't you!" hissed Kit as she spun around.

"What now?" groaned Jesse as he straightened, and saw a gang of five vampires gathered around them. "Kandossi! A fight!" and leapt towards them with a massive grin, Xander and Larry close behind.

"Hey, hey, leave some for us," hissed Dawn as she scrambled out of the stairwell.

"Too late," sniggered Jesse as he shoved his stake back in his pocket. "Xan's on one again."

"Got it!" cried Carlos in triumph as the last lock gave way to him.

"Way to go, juvie boy," Cordy said as Carlos forced the door open. "Eew, smells like nothings lived here in years!"

"Perhaps not, but what the Hellmouth is that?" Dawn asked, pointing towards what looked like a power-point unit.

Larry scratched his head, then shrugged as he walked towards it, "dunno, reckon we can take it apart, Carlos?"

"Well, sure. Dunno if it'll work again though," the short Latin boy said with a grin as he started towards it.

Everyone dispersed around the room to investigate. "Man, this place is like a museum," Larry muttered in disgust as he found evidence of one Ted's previous wives.

"Ya not wrong," Jesse said as he came up to him and showed him what he'd found.

"Christ, it's nearly the same! Xan, what you got?" Larry shot across the room in alarm.

Xander raised a bleak face as a white faced Dawn started for the door, "Buffy's in trouble. We gotta go. Now!"

"Osik! Oya!" and the entire flat emptied in 5 seconds flat.


When the Mando/Jedi hunting party arrived at 1630 Revello Drive, they found a distraught Buffy, a furious Joyce. And what looked like a dead Ted Buchanan at the bottom of the stairs. Just as Xander was about to open his mouth, Jesse slapped his hand over it, and hissed in his ear, "not now, vod'ika. Try and show a little tact."

"Mom, what happened?" Dawn asked Joyce, as she looked from her mother to her sister and back again.

"That's what I'm trying to find out. But she just keeps saying that she didn't mean too," Joyce said, now looking sad.

"Buffy, what happened?" Cordelia asked, as she gingerly stepped past the dead looking man.

"He hit me, so I pushed him, but I never meant for this to happen," Buffy hiccuped through her tears.

Carlos leant down near the body, and then jumped back, "aah, he moved!" he yelled.

"Now Carlos," Joyce began, ready to give him a right earful, when Ted sat up.

"My love," he said to Joyce, who promptly fainted.

"Ya gotta have a word with your mom," Xander grinned at Dawn as everyone scattered, Larry having the foresight to grab at the same time.

"Wh-what is he?" gibbered Buffy in shock.

"A tinnie," answered Jesse shortly as he sorted through his pockets for weapons.

"What's a tinnie?" asked Willow wide eyed.

"A robot, remember? We talked about this in the library," Kit said as she pulled a blaster out of her coat pocket.

"Let's try this first," Larry said as he took the ion blaster out.

"Kandossi! If you'd like the honour vod'ika," Xander said with a grin as he heard Ted walking towards them.

"Sweet," Larry whispered as he lay down and took aim like a sniper as he powered up the weapon for it's maiden shot. It performed beautifully. As Joyce came around, she was treated to the sight of Ted being surrounded by a nimbus of blue energy as the ion blast blew his circuits and fried his main frame.

"Kandossi! It works like a charm!" cheered Xander as he high fived Jesse. "Nice shot vod'ika," he said to Larry as he slapped him on the back. "Decapitation anyone? Oops, sorry Mrs. Summers," he said looking a bit sheepish when he noticed that Joyce was now awake.

"Would somebody please tell me what the Hell is going on? And I would like the truth this time, not one of your cock and bull stories, Elizabeth Anne, Dawn Marie," she said, giving them the look that all mothers seem to have.

Both of her daughters wilted a bit at this, so Cordelia stood up and went to deal with Ted as Buffy and Dawn tried to distract their mother with a form of the truth that wouldn't blow their cover too badly. Unfortunately, she saw Cordelia's light-sabre, and freaked big time.

"And what the Hell is that?" she shouted.

"Shit! Busted. Ow! What the hell was that for?" shouted Xander as Joyce slapped him round the head.

"Don't use that language around me young man. What is going on here?" Joyce shouted at him.

"Are you sure you really want to know mom? Once down this rabbit hole, there's no coming out," Dawn said seriously. Joyce merely nodded.

"In that case, come with us to the library. Cordy, Dawn, finish him," Jesse stated, fixing Ted with a look of loathing that looked out of place on his face. And to Joyce's shock, Dawn too, pulled out a light-sabre, and proceeded to join Cordelia in hacking up the android in her hallway.


20 minutes later, they were all ensconced in the Sunnydale High library. Giles was looking more and more uncomfortable by the minute, and even Jenny Calender was starting to fidget by this time, as Joyce just stared at the two of them as Carlos, Larry, Jesse and Willow got to work on the androids head and Willow's laptop.

"Nearly got it," muttered Jesse as he ignored Carlos' swearing in Spanish beside him. As they continued to work, Joyce continued to stare, until finally she'd had enough.

"So, I've been reasonably patient. What is going on?" Joyce asked, officially at the end of her tether.

"Well," and then Giles started to give the Watchers Council Speech. Buffy and Dawn just stared at him in horror as Xander sat there sniggering.

Then Kit piped up, "er Giles, Mrs. Summers only wanted to know about the light-sabres, not the whole she-bang."

"Oh, bugger!" Giles said as he took his glasses off and walked into his office for his bottle of Scotch. "Very well," he said when he returned, and proceeded to explain what had happened to her. After telling Xander and Kit to bugger of and leave him alone.

It took a while to fully explain, but it was helped with the proof of several weapons that should not exist, and several boys that spoke a language that she's never heard of before. The final nail in the coffin was the sight of her boyfriends head coming back to life, and his memories being rerouted into Willow's laptop, before Carlos and Kit blew the head to Kingdom Come.

"He'd've killed you Mrs. Summers, when you couldn't live up to his perfect idea of a woman," Jesse said softly, moving to intercept her. There was no way he was letting her see what he'd seen.

"Let me see," she said fiercely.

"Trust me, you don't wanna," Xander said, equally softly. "Giles has told you what happened to us at Halloween. Well, all of us live with some pretty scary memories, even Dawn. Buffy gains new ones every night. We don't want that for you, please buir."

Joyce relented then and turned to Giles, "got any of that Scotch left?"

Xander turned to Willow, "disconnect that laptop, now."

Willow did so, slightly apprehensive, and Jesse and Larry pulled their blasters at the same time as Xander did, and they all opened fire at the same time.

"Xander! That was my laptop!" she shrieked at him.

"Yeah, I know. But it had HIS personality in it. Here," and Xander handed over a handful of cash much to the surprise of Willow. "Buy yourself a new one tomorrow, ok?"

"What?" Willow said in a daze.

"If you need more money, mug those two," and Xander pointed at Jesse and Larry, who both suddenly had a hunted look on their faces at her sudden predatory look.

"Looks like someone's gonna get robbed," Kit muttered to Dawn, who started to giggle, much to the amusement of Joyce.