Kitty Pryde was loosing herself. With every step she took, every breath she took. It felt like she was getting farther and farther away every day she spent without him, that boy who could control fire that she had so easily fallen in love with. She knew she should've fallen out of the second he left for the Brotherhood, but she couldn't. There was something in that flame, something in his eyes at she couldn't forget.
It was his yearning to be cared for; his yearning to have the comfort of knowing that someone cared about him that drew her to him so easily. It was the way he held her so close and whispered in her ear those three words she had waited her whole life to hear. It was the feeling she got while holding on to him; knowing that he was the only thing that would stay solid in her life.
He shattered that illusion when he stepped onto the helicopter with Magneto, the man who had called him a "God among insects". Maybe he was, but she had always wondered why he needed that man to tell him that. Wasn't it enough when she told him how much she loved him at night? Wasn't it enough when she cried to no one in the night, surrounded by memories of him that swirled around her head into one, nothing making sense.
"You ruined me!" she shouted to him tearfully the night he came back, but he just stood there like the broken man he was, staring at her with pain and longing in his eyes. So she had done the thing she always did best and ran from him, phasing up to her room where she lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling, all of the tears she had ever cried gone with him.
She fell apart at the seams without him, finding that she couldn't live the way she used to for a day without him. Without him, she was nothing. Her once half-full glass was empty, so quickly poured out by his intent stare that she could get lost in.
She had loved him, she knew, but she was afraid those three words would never come out of her mouth again. She was afraid that she would be left while everyone else fell in love around her, while she was falling out of it. She was afraid the person she fell in love with someday wouldn't be him.
So she set out to find him, walking and looking in places she had never gone before, looking for what seemed like years, but passed by in days. So then she went back to the one place she had ever called home and found him in his room, staring at her with his eyes that now seemed so empty, just like his heart.
So she grabbed his hand and took it tightly, not ever wanting to let go of the man's hand she had almost lost in those years of bitterness. He stared at her for a long time, finally speaking once he had found the words.
"I don't want to loose you again." He whispered in a low voice, and she nodded, looking up at him and resting her head on his chest.
"I don't want to loose you either." She whispered quietly, tears falling down her cheeks silently as she held him tighter.
"I'm not good enough for you- I never will be." He said as a sob rose up in her throat, "Kitty, we can't do this."
She looked up at him in the eye, shaking her head.
"No John," she whispered quietly, "I love you."
She felt him stiffen for a moment, and then he ran a hand through her dark tousled hair, holding her close.
"I love you too." He had whispered in a low voice, not sure if she had heard him. The feeling of her lips on his confirmed that she had as he held her closer than ever before, Kitty's hands slowly moving up his forearms and around his neck as his found their way around her small waist. They broke away after a moment, Kitty resting her head on John's chest as he held her close, resting his chin on her head, standing there for a long time.
They found their way to John's bed after a while, Kitty falling asleep in John's arm, both of them sleeping the first restless night in what seemed like years, that empty tug in their hearts both slowly fading as they realized that they had found each other; finally whole after all of this time.