Finding You

A Reela, destined to forever bring the pair closer together. Beware of fluff and angst.

I own nothing.

Neela walked down the lonely hallway to her apartment, head hung in defeat. It was over. Done. The DNC had been completed.

She had considered walking out, taking the El to County or making herself pass out to get an ambulance. She had wanted to run out of that OB. She wanted to whip the doctor in the face and scream. But something held her back. She hadn't been strong enough. She couldn't save her baby.

Just when she was getting to like the idea of being pregnant, it was all swept out from under her… Buried in the ground with dust and new plants worn over it several times.

How was she going to tell Ray?

Her feet met the base of the door and she stopped, looking in her pockets for her keys. She must have been too distracted when she left earlier, because they weren't there. Frustrated, she reached along the door frame for the spare. Her hand shook and she almost dropped the key while trying to regain control. She thrust the key into the lock and the door came open with such force from herself that it hit against the wall. She let it close behind her, too tired to put any energy behind it.

She threw her belongings onto the floor by the couch and stripped off her jacket and top, leaving on only her undershirt and bra. Then, proceeding into the kitchen she pulled the coffee pot towards her and brushed off the dust. It had gone a long time without being used, Ray usually getting his dose of caffeine at work or an energy boost from a few beers. And to her, coffee would usually make her grimace, but not today. She was craving again, and this time without being pregnant.

She paced from tile to tile, waiting for her coffee, and feeling unexplainably anxious. She brought her drink into a cup as soon as it was finished brewing and then walked into her bedroom. It looked dismal, dreary almost, blinds drawn shut, shadows across the floor. But she left it that way. She certainly wasn't in the mood for sunlight and happiness right now. Maybe that was why she was drinking coffee instead of tea, since tea was her regular tool for relaxation…

Neela took a few sips of the black liquid, hating its taste on her tongue. She placed it back on the bedside table with force, causing its contents to splatter the table some. With an angry sigh she fumbled for something to wipe it away, but only created a larger mess when her clumsiness sent several books and magazines cascading onto the carpet. She groaned, letting her need for rest take over as she fell back onto the bed, leaving the mess as it was.

After some time, Neela didn't quite know how long she could distantly here someone coming noisily into the apartment, but her energy was otherwise exhausted. She didn't move from where she lay. She heard his keys clattering onto the side table, and the distinct dragging of his feet after a long day at work.

He stopped as he entered the kitchen, seeing the coffee pot pulled out, puddles of it trying to dry to the counter. Looking confused, he swiped away the mess with a paper towel. Why would Neela make coffee? She hated the stuff… Then, he realized he hadn't heard a word from her. Was she even here? He glanced around, realizing the close she had on and her belongings were on the floor.

"Neela?" he called, thinking she might have fallen asleep.

After a few moments of silence he heard a distant response from the bedroom, "In here Ray."

He strode over to the door and put his hand to the knob, surprised to find it locked. Neela never locked any doors, unless she was peeing or something…

"You okay?" he asked, wishing his voice wasn't so muffled by the door.

After a few more moments of suspense, Neela stood up and unlocked the door, only to return to her place on the bed. Her hair looked tatty, her clothes were mostly off, and her books were in a mess on the floor.

"Neela, something's up…"

"What? You mean the coffee? I just made a cup for you…." She said nervously, hoping her voice didn't sound as false as it was.

Ray gave her a look of doubt, and stepped inside to pick up the mess of books and spilt coffee. When he looked back up, there were tears in her eyes.

"Neela, did something happen today?"

She squirmed in her seat, feeling all her strength leave her, just as she needed it most.

"Ray.. I had a miscarriage."