"I thought all the Gerudos liked you."

"Ha! That's just what they want you to believe. Ganny the lonely Gerudo, that's what they used to call me! Ganny the lonely Gerudo, cause I had no friends! Oh, they were so cruel, and I thought girls were supposed to be nice. But they never let me join in any Gerudo games!"

Nabooru was walking by with a Ye Old Sears shopping bag and overheard the conversation, "Oh, Gannon, not this again..."

He pointed an accusing finger, "You be quiet! I remember you were one of them. You used to laugh and call me names!"

He was nearing the end of the tissue box now, "I was just a lad, and boys have feelings too, you know!" He blew his nose again and looked up, "But then one dusty Christmas Eve, dear Santa came to say,"

A few Kokiri's ears perked up at the mention of old St. Nick.
Nabooru shook her head, "I know where this is going..."

Ganon continued, "He said to me, 'Ganon, with your face so bright, won't you take over Hyrule tonight?'"

Saria gasped, "Santa Claus told you to take over Hyrule?"

Link stared in disbelief, "Your face was bright?"

Mido had a mouth-full of burrito, "I don't believe this."

Zelda crossed her arms, "Of course not. He's totally lying."

"No. Not that. This burrito is still cold," he waved it in Ganon's face, "I want my money back, mister!"

Ganon ignored him.

"Hey mister! Can't you hear me? My burrito is cold! Hello? Hello! Mister?" Mido stood on his chair and waved a hand in his face. "Hey, Ganny the lonely Gerudo? Are you there?"

Ganon heard that. His face reddened, "Why you little-" He lunged forward and a chase began. Mido dropped his lunch tray on the table and ran in circles, "Ahhhh! Save me Saria!"

A few of the Kokiris giggled,(excluding Link who wasn't giggling, but instead laughing so hard he could barely breath), but Saria frowned, "Oh, poor Mido, someone should-" then she saw what was left on the table, "Ooooo, is that ice-cream?"

Zelda was about to try and help, but her attention was quickly averted, "Dibs on strawberry!"

Luckily for Mido, Ganon's chicken suit was slowing him down. The boss came out, just in time to see the whole fiasco.

"Ganondorf! You put that poor customer down right now!"

"Gah! Mr. Boss-guy!"

"That's the last straw Ganon, I'm afraid I'm going to have to fire you..."

"NO! You can't fire me," He glared at Link, "YOU! This is all you fault! I'll make you sorry!" Ganondorf fired up a purple thing and was about to fire it at Link when... five big mall cop knights jumped on top of him in a dog pile.

The head security guy, Arnold Schwarzenegger, came running, "Zer is absolutely NO magic in zis mall, you hear me!? I said DO you HEAR me?!"

"Yes, yes I hear you," Ganon mumbled, "What a stupid rule."

"It iz not a stupid rule! It iz a stupid LAW! And without stupid laws there would be chaos! And as much as I love chaos, we had to put it into effect after a certain boy thought he could come here and do whatever he pleased!"

Harry Potter came whizzing by on his broom, "Pip, pip cheerio everyone! What did I miss?!"

Arnold pulls out a bazooka and starts firing, "You are not welcome in zese parts Potter!"

"Don't I at least get a warning!"

"The fact that I have not hit you iz der warning! Ha HA HA HA HA!" Harry flies outside to safety and Arnold immediately stops laughing and addresses Ganondorf, "Don't thank me. Itz my job az Governator! My work here iz done, I must fight aliens now." He then runs out of the mall, carrying the bazooka on his shoulder.

Everyone blinks simultaneously.

"..."

"What?"

"Who?

"I don't know, Zelda, I just don't know."

"That was cool!"

"Did you see that?"

"..."

"What's an alien?"

"Hello? Being crushed here! Will someone get me out of here already?!"
A/N: ( That last one was Ganon ;)