5A/N My first T-birds fanfic! Let me just reiterate that this is not to be taken seriously and that I do not believe any of this to be true!
Dedicated to Georgiana1234 the original person who pointed out Poor John's hopeless predicament.
Disclaimer: I do not own Thunderbirds, they're just too cool for me!
Poor John orbits the earth, gazing at the stars. Now before you say he enjoys looking at the stars let me make it clear that even an obsessive astrologer can only take so much.
It could get lonely in space, he'd told his father that some time ago. His father had then sent him up a dog, it turned out dogs couldn't survive on space food though so he'd had to say his goodbyes to Mitzy as he'd opened the airlock.
Next his dad had sent him a laughing policeman; unfortunately this had backfired to leaving him with an unrestrained urge to kill any legal authority that so much as chuckled. Oh dear.
Not that he had much money to spend on it anyway, not when his family always seemed to forget his wages, though that wasn't Alan (who was supposed to come and give him his wages) fault, not when he couldn't even remember who he was. Another disadvantage of always being up here, his baby brother couldn't even remember who he was, their conversations generally went like this;
John: Hi Alan, what's up?
Alan: Um, who are you?
John: Al I'm your brother!
Alan: Do I know you?
John: sigh never mind.
Poor Alan, but we'll come to that later. John now generally spent his time trying to reshape his money as it always melted on the way up. Let me explain; TB5 had escape pods on the side, unfortunately they only exepted the chocolate coins Brains made, in engraved Pentagons I might add. It was so bloody hard trying to get them back into shape that even if he wanted to use the pods to go home he couldn't.
All these culminating circumstances, plus the fact his dad wouldn't let him swap with any of his other brothers had led John to the conclusion that the only thing to do was become mad.
He had taken several steps in ensuring this, he had made all the clocks on TB5 run backwards with 5 min differences on all of them and the only reading material he had brought with him was the winter train timetable.
Alas, he had learnt to read the time even on his mental clocks and had found himself enjoying the train timetable. But he was left with the unanswerable question; but what about the trains in Summer? Poor John.
Poor Parker. Ever since he had met Lady Penelope he had loved her, even so far as giving up his life of crime to work for her in the hope they might grow closer. Alack, it wasn't to be, hey were still as they had always been. Poor Parker.
Poor Lady Penelope. For a long while she had been in love with the tragic John, she would do almost anything for them to be together, sadly she had no head for space travel. Poor Lady P.
Poor Scott. All he had ever wanted to do was work the carousel at a fair, but his father had grown to lean on him until he had to many responsibilities. He was the field commander of IR and heir to a multi-corporate company. Poor Scott.
Poor Alan. Ever since he was little he'd had to bear the brunt of his brothers' blonde jokes until he was now paranoid about his hair colour. Apparently he had another brother who was also blond, he had a hazy memory of him but not much. Whenever John could jog his memory they formulated their plan to turn Tracy Island into a blonde paradise. They would start as soon as Lady P arrived, unfortunately Parker refused to drive her there so it didn't seem to be in the foreseeable future. Poor Alan.
A/N Hope you enjoyed it! I think there's going to be a sequel but it depends on what kind of feed back I get (if it's too bad I'll even take it off!) PLEASE REVIEW!
BTW The sequel actually has a plot line, so don't worry it's not another pointless burble!