13A/N: This one-shot takes place partially during and partially after 7.20 Lorelai Lorelai. Spoilerfree. Just what I thought should happen after it. I was thinking about it after watching the episode and wrote down my thoughts. This story is what came out of it. Please R&R!
I will always love you
It was a good thing she was a bit tipsy. Even after seeing the others do it, she was still nervous about going on stage herself. There was a huge crowd and all people she knew, ready to watch her. But she did it anyway because she promised Rory. She needed the distraction right now, so who could do a better job at than her own mother?
So Lorelai stepped on stage, trying hard to suppress her nerves but not completely succeeding. Putting on a small act to make sure people wouldn't notice her nerves, she grabbed the microphone. "Honey, here's another embarrassing moment for you diary." She then realized she was still holding her glass so she took a step backwards and put it down. Then back to the microphone. "Happy graduation." Without giving it another thought she started singing.
If I should stay,
I would only be in your way.
So I'll go, but I know
I'll think of you ev'ry step of the way.
And I will always love you.
The crowd started cheering the second she gave everything for the chorus and it gave her confidence.
I will always love you.
I will always love you.
Then he came in and her confidence was partially gone. But she kept singing as she watched him. She noticed her voice wasn't as even as it was before, but she didn't care.
Bittersweet memories
that is all I'm taking with me.
So, goodbye. Please, don't cry.
We both know I'm not what you, you need.
During the chores she made eye contact him with, realizing that this song fit for the two of them. All they had left were memories and knew now that they weren't right for each other. But he was the only guy she ever truly loved in her life and she knew for sure that she would always love him.
And I will always love you.
I will always love you.
I hope life treats you kind
And I hope you have all you've dreamed of.
And I wish to you, joy and happiness.
But above all this, I wish you love.
As the end of the song neared her voice became even less steady. Part of her felt like crying as the other part of her felt like giving everything into the song. Making sure her words reached him.
And I will always love you.
I will always love you.
I will always love you.
After a small smile and a little shrug with her shoulder towards him to show him that she truly meant what she just sang to him, she quickly made her exit, holding her hand up in the air towards the crowd to say goodbye. She walked out the backdoor, not ready to face anyone after what she just did. What was it with her, and embarrassing moments on stage? Nobody should allow her come anywhere near a microphone after having a few drinks.
She took in a couple of deep breaths, breathing in the cool air and allowing herself to calm down for a minute. She walked around and ended up in the gazebo. The town seemed deserted. They were all at KC's for the karaoke night. She was happy no-one was around at the moment. She couldn't go home without Rory and she definitely didn't want to be around anyone right now. She was sure everybody noticed that it wasn't Rory she was singing to in the end. She had seen Miss Patty glance at Luke when he had walked in and if she knew, even if they hadn't noticed it, they would all know sooner rather than later.
"Hey."
She hadn't heard anyone approach as she was lost in her thoughts. The voice that suddenly filled the silence startled her. She looked up and stared into his eyes for the second time that evening. She looked back down, embarrassed. "Hey."
"That was quite a performance."
She smiled slightly, still not looking at him. "Thanks. I'm glad you don't think it totally sucked."
He shook his head. "It definitely didn't." He sat down next to her. "So, you've been watching bodyguard lately?"
She looked up now, smiling. "I can't believe you remember that the song is from that movie."
He shrugged. "You made me watch it at least a dozen times."
"To tell you the truth it wasn't Whitney who inspired me. It was Dolly."
"Huh?"
"Whitney Houston was singing it in bodyguard, but that was a cover. The original is from Dolly Parton." She wasn't surprised he didn't know.
"Oh."
"Yeah. Anyway, I think I should go."
"Yeah me too. Early deliveries tomorrow."
She nodded. "I guess I'll step by for coffee tomorrow."
"Okay. I'll make sure it's ready." He stood up and walked away without looking back.
-xxxxxxx-
Luke walked around the counter to clean up some dirty plates when he noticed her. She was pacing back and forth in front of his diner, as if she was doubting whether or not to go in. He didn't think much of it and went back to business, clearing tables and then taking out a few orders. When he looked outside again a couple of minutes later, she was still there, walking around in front of his diner, glancing inside once in a while. He knew she didn't know he was watching her, otherwise it would have showed somehow. She was completely caught up with her inner conflict.
"Zack, I'm taking a break."
"Sure. No problem man."
Luke put the towel that was hanging over his shoulder on the counter and went outside. She didn't notice him until he called her name. "Lorelai?"
She looked up, embarrassed that she was caught. "Luke."
"Hey." He smiled slightly.
"Hey." She returned his smile. "What are you doing out here?"
"I better ask you that. You've been walking in front of the diner for several minutes now. Don't you want to come in?"
She raised her shoulders. "I was still thinking about it."
He nodded, understanding. "You can come in, whenever you're ready."
"Yeah I know. Thanks."
He turned around, ready to walk back inside, when he changed his mind. "Lorelai?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you want to go for a walk?" He knew something was bothering her, and as her friend he needed to help her.
"I'd like that."
They walked in silence for a long time, until they finally ended up at the bridge. They sat down and stared at the water, still not speaking.
Luke glanced at her and saw she was still fighting an inner battle. Not being able to take the silence much longer, he broke it. "April called me yesterday. She's been accepted for a science camp this summer."
She looked up. "That's great."
"Yeah it is. Only, it's at the same period our boat trip was supposed to take place, so that's not going to happen now."
"Oh Luke." She gave him a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry."
"Yeah me too. But it's a great opportunity for her. We can always take the trip next year and at least she's still coming over for some time this summer so maybe we can go away for a couple of days. We'll see."
She nodded. "That would be nice."
"Yeah it would." They stared at the water again for a minute or so. Then Luke looked back up at her. "Do you want to tell me what's bothering you?"
"Logan came to see me."
"Rory's boyfriend?"
She nodded. "He asked me permission to ask Rory to marry him."
"Oh… wow.. what did you say?"
"I told him I'd think about it. I wanted to say yes for her sake, because she loves him and I wanted to say no, because I still don't trust him. But it's not fair because he's really trying to get his life together. To change. And last time we spoke he pointed out how much he and I are alike. And he's right you know. I hated the life my parents wanted for me, just like he hates the life his parents want for him. Only, his parents went much further considering what they did to Rory last year. I backed out before it was too late. I left with Rory and came here before too much damage could be done. I worked hard and got my life together. But I guess it's not too late for him either. He got a job in California and he wants Rory to come with him. I don't want Rory to move across the country for a guy. Especially Logan. But I want her to be happy. Do you think Logan can make her happy?"
"I don't know. Maybe."
"I want Rory to get everything she wants. I know that right now she feels like she can't do anything. Because she didn't got the fellowship at the New York Times and they had no job for her in Chicago. And the job she already got but refused later is given to someone else now. The truth is she can do anything she wants. Those who don't want her… it's their loss right? She's an amazing girl, and an amazing writer. Who would not want her, really?"
He nodded. "Every newspaper should offer her a job."
"Exactly." She smiled, glad that he understood. Then she took a second to think of all the things she was saying. "Luke?"
"Yeah"
"Rory's grown up now right?"
He nodded. "She's 22 years old."
"She's always been very good at making her own decisions. Then why am I sitting here, thinking about whether or not she should marry Logan? She's the one who has to make that decision. I'm not going to be like my mother. If she wants to marry Logan, I'm going to support her. I'll respect her decision."
"That's very mature of you. But are you sure you want the two of them to get married?"
She shook her head. "No. But if it's what makes her happy, who am I to be against it?"
He shrugged.
"That's what I thought. I'll call Logan later to tell him that he can ask her if he wants. She'll do what's right. If she's not ready or willing to marry him, she'll say no. And if she is, than I'm going to be okay with it."
"That's good."
"Yeah." She smiled, glad that she finally made a decision. "Thanks for listening."
"No problem. I'm your friend. I'm always there for you."
"Thanks." She said, while giving him a genuine smile. "Well, I'll better get back to work." She stood up and he followed her example. She wanted to walk into the opposite direction he was going when he called her name.
"Lorelai."
She turned around. "Yeah?"
"That's not why you didn't went into the diner was it? That Logan thing."
She shook her head. "No."
"We should talk about this."
"About what? About that stupid song? I'm an idiot Luke. I always know how to embarrass myself. Especially after I've been drinking and especially when being on a stage. The last time…." She stopped, realizing he didn't know.
"What? The last time what?"
"Nothing." She shook her head. "It doesn't matter."
"Yes it does."
"No it doesn't. It's not important. Not anymore."
"Just try me."
"I just got drunk at Lane's wedding and said some really embarrassing things in my speech. I don't want to be reminded so please don't ask."
"Okay." He looked hurt though.
She looked down, not being able to see the hurt in his eyes. She'd been seeing it too much over the past few months. They were finally back on track, ready to be friends again and she does something like this. She could kill herself for doing so.
"I'll go then." He started walking and at first she let him. Until she realized that it was her chance to make things better. If she let him walk away now, they would never have a fair chance, even if it was just for a good friendship.
"Luke wait."
He stopped, but didn't turn around to face her.
"I meant the words I was singing last night. I started singing the song for Rory, to cheer her up because of the whole not finding a job situation. But the second you walked in that door, everything changed. I never really realized that song fits for us, until that moment. Because, Luke. I will always love you." Her eyes filled with tears and all she wanted to do at that moment was run home and lay in bed for the next few weeks.
But then he turned around and looked at her, as if he wanted to see that what she was saying was true.
"The truth is you are the only man I ever loved and even if we never have another chance, even if I would never see you again in my life, I would always love you." Her lip quivered as she waited for a reaction.
He just stood there, watching her and it took him a while before he started moving. He moved forward and didn't stop until he was standing only a couple of inches away from her.
"I'll always love you too." He whispered.
"Really?"
He nodded and she smiled. Then they both leaned in and their lips touched for the first time in almost a year. Her hand found it's way behind his head, touching the bit of hair that stuck out from underneath his cap. Her cap. And his hand went around her waist and he pulled her closer, deepening their kiss at the same time.
Later, as they walked home together Lorelai couldn't help but think how wrong she had been. The relationship she had with Luke was so different than the one from the song. In the song they saw the only option was to move on without each other while they still loved each other. Maybe yesterday that seemed like the only option. To be friends and to be happy for each other when they were finally able to move on. But now, not even 24 hours later they had something so much better. They had each other. And while they still had many issues to work out in order to make their relationship work, she knew they would succeed this time. And as the love for eternity in the song sounded somewhat sad, their love for each other was anything but.
The end!