74Disclaimer: I don not own Twilight. I also do now own New Moon. I do not own any of the characters appearing in New Moon and Twilight either. I do own George, Abby, Lydia, and Andy, though!
Chapter 4
Bella's point of view:
"Let's go inside. The kids are getting antsy" George said, nodding his head towards the kitchen. I pulled myself away from Jake and rubbed my hands up and down my arms as if trying to warm myself up. It was a bad habit I had acquired a little while back.
"We should probably eat now" I said softly. We headed inside, Jakes large hand resting on my bony back, guiding me into the old kitchen. I had not gotten around to fixing it up, so it looked exactly the way it did when I was in high school. I took a deep breath and sat down at the table next to Lydia was attempting to hang her spoon from her nose.
"Blow on the spoon first, Lyd. The moisture from your breath helps it stay up" Jake said as he took the open seat next to me.
"No, Uncle Jake! Sit nex oo ME" Lydia said banging her spoon onto the hard wood table.
"I can't sweetie" he said. "I need to sit next to Bella." I saw Lydia pout.
"Oh, Jake, don't worry about it. Sit next to your niece" I said.
"I can't do that Bella." he said. I gave him a confused look, but he just shrugged his shoulders and smiled at me. I knew something was up, and I knew that he was not planning on telling me. At least not at the moment. I sighed as George placed the bagels on the table.
"Bon Apatite" he said with a smile.
Edward's point of view:
I could not handle staying in my room for any longer. It reminded me of her way too much. I looked outside and realized that it had begun to rain again. I sprung up from the couch and headed down the long spiral staircase. Esme standing in the kitchen talking with Abby. She really was a stunning girl. Her hair was luscious and her skin was so delicate. I could not help but notice how her musical laugh echoed throughout the house. I was suddenly aware that Esme was watching me stare at Abby. I quickly tore my eyes away from her and rushed out the front door, only to find Emmett sitting on the porch steps. The second he saw me, he sprung up and walked over to me.
"Edward… I know this is hard for you, but I can NOT let you go over to see Bella. You can't mess up her life twice!"
I was shocked, and very hurt. I could not believe that he thought that I would go visit Bella. I thought he knew that I would put her first. I was more hurt, though. I felt like I was about to crumble to the ground in pain as I thought about how badly I hurt her. How could I have ever been that stupid?! And now here I was, depressed, alone, and overcome with regret.
"I am NOT going to see her, Emmett" I growled when I found my voice. "I was Going. For. A walk. In. The park." Emmett stared at me for a second, silently debating with himself whether I was lying or not. I guess he decided to trust me, because he stepped aside and let me pass. I ran as fast as I possibly could through the rain and wind until I reached the park. It was new, and therefore would hold NO memories of Bella whatsoever. I smiled sadly to myself, but the smile disappeared almost instantly. There was nothing to smile about, I realized. I was alone again. My life (Bella) was moving on without me. She had a beautiful family who seemed to love her very much. But I guess I am sort of glad that at least she is happy. No, actually, I am not happy for her. I know it is selfish, but if she was alone and unhappy, I could go back to her. I could be with her again, and this time for eternity. But no, that could never happen. I couldn't afford to think like that. It was pointless to get my hopes up for something that could never be. I crumpled up onto a bench and dry-sobbed. I knew nobody could see me. There was nobody who would take a walk in the park in weather such as this. A human could never see through this much rain and wind. So I just sat there and sobbed, unaware of the silent world around me.
Bella's point of view:
I was about to reach for a bagel, when suddenly, Jake stood up and tapped his glass.
"I umm, I have… I have a question, err, an announcement." Jake said nervously, hitting his for against his cloudy glass. Everyone stared up at Jake in confusion and curiosity. Even Andy was silent in anticipation. "Bella" he said slowly. "I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you. Will you, will you marry me?" he asked.
I was in shock. Never in a million years would I have expected this. Suddenly, memories flooded my mind. Clips and snapshots of me and Jake laughing together, him holding me in his arms, us building sandcastles when we were little children. But there were other pictures, also. Pictures of Edward Cullen, the man, or, thing, that I knew I would always love, no matter how he felt about me. I saw myself in high school, the happiest time of my life, due to Edward. Tears began to escape my eyes as I realized where my loyalty, and my heart, really belonged. I knew that Jacob, no matter how sweet and amazing he was, could never be half of what Edward was to me. And although I couldn't have Edward, was that really fair to Jake? No. He is young, hansom. He could find a girl that loved him with all her heart and being. Jake did not deserve a broken girl. And at the same time, did I really want Jake like that? He was my best friend, true, but maybe that was all I wanted. I knew that living alone for the rest of my life was not something I wanted, but it seemed like the fair thing. Nobody on the face of the planet deserved to get such a terrible person like me, especially someone like Jake. I couldn't take it. I threw my napkin onto the ground, pushed my chair back, and ran outside. I heard Jake run after me, but George must have stopped him, because I couldn't hear him any longer. I could not see anything in this rain, but I refused to stop running. If I got hit by a car or struck by lightning and died, it wouldn't be such a horrendous thing. My life (Edward) was gone anyways. He was probably married to some beautiful woman, or vampire. I bet he's happy. I wonder how long it took him to forget me. A year? A month? A few days? The tears began to come even harder. The sided down my cheeks, mixing with the rainwater so that it was impossible to tell which drops where tears and which were raindrops when I tried to wipe my eyes. There was nothing to live for anymore. The life of Bella Swan was over now. From this point on, I would be nothing but a shell. There was no other option. I couldn't be happy at others' expenses. It just was not right.
Eventually I reached the new Forks Park. It was finished a few weeks ago, but I had never been able to make time to come down here. I drove past it many times, and it looked very pretty, but between my tears and the intense rain, I could see absolutely nothing. I tripped on something and fell to the hard wet pavement. I couldn't stand up. My energy was completely gone. So I just sat there and sobbed, too numb to move or think.
Edward's point of view:
I suddenly heard someone sobbing. It was defiantly a female, and she sounded close. I sniffled one last time and stood up. I tried to listen to their thoughts, but I heard nothing. Strange… I knew one thing for sure, though. I could not let a human stay outside in the park in weather like this. The woman was sure to die. Suddenly, I froze. I had heard that sob before. I knew that voice. No matter how hard I tried to forget it, that voice never left my mind. Bella. I took off running, but instantly slowed down. No! I could not interfere with her life. I had promised myself, Emmett, Carlisle, and most importantly Bella that I would never interfere again. But how could I possibly leave her alone? She was sure to die, and there was no way I could possibly let that happen. I could always call 911, but I was positive that they would never come outside in weather like this. No. It was up to me. I took a deep breath, and began to run again.
"Bella" I screamed. I didn't know if she could hear me over the loud crashes of thunder that were bursting from the clouds every second or so. "Bella!" I screamed again. Her sobs got louder and louder, and I knew that I was getting closer. What if she was hurt? Oh gosh, what if she was dying? Did someone hurt her? I felt my jaws clench and my fists tighten.
"Relax, Edward" I thought to myself. I knew that I could get nothing done with a temper. "Think of Bella!"
Suddenly, I saw her. She was lying in the middle of the pavement soaking wet. Her hair was fanned out around her head. She looked so beautiful. I sniffed, and her smell shocked my body. I knew I would have to hold my breath. Seven years was a long time, and I could not help but be shocked by her scent. It was as strong as the first time I smelled her in biology that day. Maybe even stronger. Without breathing, I walked over to her, and crouched down next to her. I hesitantly put my hand on her back. I felt her stiffen.
"I am so sor…" She was trying to sit up, but stopped the second she realized it was me sitting there. "Edw…" she began. But she was to shocked to say another word. She just stared into my eyes and I stared into hers.
"Bella…" I said softly. I reached over and grabbed her. I pulled her over to my lap, and she leaned against my chest. I felt her jagged breathing and heard her erratic heart rate. We just sat there staring at each other as the rain poured down around us. I slowly lifted my arm and brushed some hair out of her eyes with the back of my hand. I saw so much pain in her eyes. There were wrinkles in her forehead, and she looked older than she should. Yet she was still the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I leaned in and brushed my lips against her forehead, not caring about her family or anybody else. I could tell that she liked it by the way her heart responded.
"I…I still love you, Bella." I said at last. "I always have loved you and I always will" and with that, I pressed my lips against hers.
I hope you liked it! I thought I did a pretty good job at making it long… But that is my opinion…
THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED! And everybody who read this, pleasepleaseplease review! It means so much to me! I want ur opinions and criticism, and comments. Thanks, I appreciate it so much! Also, unfortunately, I am being forced to go to camp this summer, so I will be gone for a little while. But I will write the whole story by hand, and re-type it the day I get home… it will be completed and revised to perfection…
I am SO sorry! Alright, you can expect one or two updates before I go (depending how much you all review! If you review, you get chapters, easy as that. If not, you get to wait for 5 or 6 weeks…your choice!).
I LOVE YOU ALL, AND HAVE AN AMAZING SUMMER!