A/N: Go ahead and flame away, I don't really care to be honest.
Disclaimer: not mine.
I tried to come up with an appropriate beginning to this stupid diary for three hours now; I've come up with many starts, yet each one has been scratched out again and again, taking up sheets of paper at a time; how does someone tough start a diary? Then, I got the idea:
No, no. Dear Diary is to girly. Don't girls write 'Dear Diary' when they write about how bad their, well, uh… That time of the uh… Well, then I went back to trying to think of a new start to my diary, which I will no longer call a Diary because it sounds like a girls name, and tough boys like me don't use prissy names like Diary. Diaries are for wimps, like Pricilla and Vanilla.
I decided that was a good start. It started with the same letter as Diary, and it still sounded like a name, probably because it was a name. I didn't know what to write to David though, since I'd never met him… and so my problem became my own.
It's me again…"
No, that wouldn't do at all. I'd never written in or to David before, so how could I say 'again'? I scratched it all out again, crumpling the messy piece of paper and throwing it behind my head again, where it joined to rest of the papers I'd hastily scribbled upon, scribbled out, and thrown over, aiming for the garbage pail and missing terribly. I had never pretended to be an A class basketball player.
Dear David? David was that kid who used to pull my beautiful blonde hair. Back to the drawing board.
Yes, that was a good start. Dear Dallas. Who wouldn't love the name Dallas? It still started with D, and Dallas was one of the toughest names you could get, opposite of 'Diary' which wasn't actually a name, but that's not the point I was trying to make.
My stupid moronic teacher made me write this stupid diary…"
No, there I went saying the stupid girly word diary again. I scratched it out and replaced it with journal, a much more manly macho word, since I was notoriously a manly, macho man and knew it.
My stupid moronic teacher made me write this stupid diary so that I can pass this fucking course…"
What tough hood says course? I replaced it with 'learning shit'. And so I started to write again.
"I don't know why the fuck I need a damn high school diploma…"
No, I wasn't after a diploma. I was after the heavy made up Diaries… I mean, girls.
"Don't know why the fuck I need a damn high school thing, but I do know why I need the chicks in the classes."
Thing seemed like a good word…
"So, I'm off to get the skanks, and not do more of this fucking shit that I don't care about." And of course, I needed my signature.
That pleased me. And so, my assignment read
My stupid moronic teacher made me write this stupid diary so I can pass this fucking learning shit. Don't know why the fuck I need a damn high school thing, but I do know why I need the chicks in the classes. So, I'm of to get the skanks, and not do any more of this fucking shit that I don't care about.