A/N: Glad some people liked it This is a little blog-like in diary form, lol. Hope you enjoy! This is a little dirty, but not too much so. Very weird, actually.

Disclaimer: Don't own The Outsiders.

Dear Diary:

I've never had such a hard time getting a girl in my life. Heard an ad on the radio today, advertising a ladies store. What was I supposed to think of that? 'A store for ladies!' What's a man who's been hard up supposed to think of that?

Anyways, I went to the address and found it easy. A great big sign said, 'VICTORIA'S SECRET'. Victoria's secret? All I wanted was to find out what Victoria's secret was!

I went into the store and was surprised out of my mind! Everywhere I looked, there were racks and racks of lingerie and underwear. Sets of ladies underwear everywhere. Racks and racks of underwear was making me happy, but I had one question; Where were the ladies? As I walked along, I decided that I should have definitely come across a naked lady within two minutes judging by the amount of underwear. So, I wandered around aimlessly until I found what I was looking for: A sign that said 'LADIES' with a blocky lady underneath. I thought it was for literate, and illiterate men. There were no instructions anywhere so I walked right on in.

What had I done wrong? I saw a sign that said 'Ladies', and all there was were toilets. Confused, I left. This store was awful; It was advertised as a store for ladies, yet there were no ladies anywhere! Lots of deserted underwear everywhere; so much that they had to hang it on racks, yet all I had seen was a fully clothed old lady! What was going on?

I left the toilet room, getting annoyed. It was short lived.

"Can I help you?" an incredibly leggy, blonde girl asked, giving me a weird look. I wondered briefly whether she knew I had turned a room full of ladies into toilets. 'Hell yeah!' I thought, but kept my cool.

"Yeah," I said, giving her the head nod and wink of 'Lets get it on!', but she gave me the head shake and shove of 'Get away from me you moron,' when I tried to put my arm around her.

"What are you looking for, Sir?" she asked.

"Maybe a redhead?" I told her.

My day was ruined.