Title: Precious & Fragile Things - Chapter Three (3/6) WooHoo half way there!
Author: Andrea88
Rating: R for the general theme and perhaps for sex as well
Pairing: Sirius & Remus
Disclaimer: Not mine, JKR's
Summery: Sirius returns from the beyond the veil, but paid a price.
Warnings: It maybe angsty, It maybe icky. Some won't be pretty. Spoilers for Half Blood Price

Precious & Fragile Things

Chapter Three

Anger is short-lived madness. Horace

The ride was filled with silence. Sirius hated having to be lifted into the carriage by Remus. He felt so useless. What else wouldn't he be able to do? How much of his independence would he lose?

As the carriage made its way through the woods, Sirius remembered the last time he had been there. It was after the Triwizard Cup. The reason for that visit was a somber one, but the time had been magnificent. He and Remus had some quality time together, something they both desperately needed. Moony and Padfoot had romped in these same woods.

The cottage was just as Sirius remembered it. It was small and simple, surrounded by colorful flowerbeds. Privacy was plentiful; the nearest neighbor was kilometers away. Under any other circumstances he would be happy to be here.

He could hear Remus putting that infernal chair together. Enduring another demeaning act of being picked up and placed in the wheelchair, Sirius cursed Poppy for not working faster. The cursing became more severe as Sirius realized the path was covered in loose stone. Sure it looked pretty but was impossible for him to wheel himself through. He seethed as Remus calmly pushed him to the front door.

"Are you hungry?" Remus asked as he took off his cloak and headed for the kitchen.

"That's a silly question, I'm always hungry." He began to wheel himself towards the kitchen when he suddenly stopped. The hallway was too narrow. Frustrated he called out to Remus, as he did not have a wand yet.

Remus recognized the problem and with a flick of his wand the hallways expanded. Following behind Sirius, he tried to catalogue any other potential problems. A loud grumble emanating from his stomach indicated the need for dinner.

Normally the sight of Remus preparing food would make Sirius run for his life. Unfortunately, the years alone had turned Remus into a semi decent cook.

"What do you want me to do?"

"If you could make the salad that would be great," Remus was busy collecting the pots and pans he would need.

Sirius wheeled himself to the icebox, and after a few awkward moments, opened it. He filled his lap with everything he needed. This was a plus he thought, he only had to make one trip. Instinctively, he went to the counter to prepare the salad.

"The counters are too damn high," huffed Sirius.

"Use the kitchen table." Remus said and placed a cutting board and knife on the table.

"Fine," Sirius mumbled as he moved a chair out of the way to make room for his.

Dinner was eagerly consumed. Afterwards, Remus cleared the table and did the dishes. Sirius, on the other hand, grabbed a bottle of fire whiskey and headed for the living room.
The transfer to the couch went well. It took a bit of time to rearrange his legs into a 'comfortable' position. It looked so unnatural to him. Tilting his head back, he took a much needed drink of fire whiskey. Straight from the bottle would have to do, as he couldn't reach the glasses.

Remus walked into the room carrying two glasses and sat down next to Sirius. He pried the bottle from Sirius' hands and filled the glasses liberally. Sirius put his arm around Remus drawing him closer, eliciting a pleasant sigh from both parties.

"We need to tell Harry," Sirius said as he ran his fingers through Remus' hair. He was amazed at how easy it was to fall back into their familiar patterns.

"Yes, a letter maybe the best way. Wouldn't want Harry fainting at the sight of you, best to prepare him," Remus absently traced circles on Sirius' thigh.

"You're probably right, don't fancy giving my Godson a heart attack."

"We can write the letter first thing tomorrow," Remus paused. Harry was staying at the Weasley's. If Molly were to find out then it was a given that everyone else would too. Tonks was sure to find out. He had told Sirius the basic things that happened while he was away, but he had left out that bit of information. Now was as good a time as any he reckoned.

"Sirius, I need to tell you something that happened while you were gone." Remus refilled his glass and drained it in one go.

"What," Sirius tried to hide the worry in his voice. He prayed that Remus hadn't met someone else –that would be awkward.

"Well…it seems Nymphadora," he paused not wanting to say it out loud, "has fallen in love with me." Remus braced himself for an angry Sirius. He did not expect Sirius to be bellowing with laughter.

The love of his life was laughing at him. Tears were welling in Sirius' eyes. As much as Remus reveled in the sound of Sirius laughter, he thought it deserved a scowl. Sirius had no idea how awful it was to have Tonks following him around like a little lost puppy – well maybe he did. Remus told him of the whole Tonks 'affair'.

"Didn't you tell her about us Remus?" He said incredulously.

"I thought I had explained it, but obviously I was wrong."

"Well its time people knew about us." Empting his glass Sirius noticed the hand on his thigh. How he longed to feel this simple touch. "Stop it," he glowered as he brushed the offending hand away.

"Maybe we should get some sleep, long day ahead of us tomorrow." Remus got up and stood behind the wheelchair, holding it in place.

Sirius could feel his blood pressure rising as he transferred from the couch to the chair.

Transferring into the bed was surprisingly easy. Sirius managed to get himself in a comfortable position without much hassle. Remus had laid out a pair of pajamas for him. The nights could still be a bit brisk.

Finally managing to remove his trousers, Sirius thought sleeping in the nude may be in order. Cold air be damned! But it was chilly and the blankets were rather thread bare. With a heavy sigh he proceeded to fumble with the pajama bottoms.

"Let me help you," Remus said as slipped the pajamas on Sirius' legs.

"Thanks," the reply came through gritted teeth. "But you are only supposed to undress me."

"I don't mind, either way I get to touch you." Remus said with a mischievous tilt in his smile. He leaned in and kissed him.

He loved kissing Remus he could spend hours doing nothing else. Thinking back on all the times he became hard just from this, he pulled Remus closer to deepen the kiss. He felt Remus' hand trail along his neck, shoulder, chest, navel, and then nothing. He knew the hand was resting on his hip. Remus always did that. But he could feel nothing.

Maybe he just needed more time to react.

Running his fingers down Remus' spine he could feel the quivering response. Resting his hands on the small of Remus' back, he could feel the rolling of hips. Sirius turned his attention to Remus' arousal. Stroking rhythmically, relishing the feel of the thrusts against his hand. He still knew how to reduce his lover to nothing but guttural noises.

While Remus was riding out his release, he steered the same attention to Sirius.

"Stop," Sirius snapped and pushed Remus away.

He nuzzled closer, placing kisses along Sirius' neck.

"Dammit Remus stop it!" He positioned himself on his side, and pulled the blanket close. "I can't feel anything."

"I'm sorry," was the only response Remus had.

This was all new to Remus. He was certain that there was a way around this, a way for Sirius to enjoy this as much as he did. They both needed to adjust to this new situation. Placing a soft kiss on Sirius' head and whispering another apology, Remus rolled on his side and tried to sleep.

Remus woke early, he hadn't slept much at all. As much as he wanted to resolve this issue, there were more important things to attend to. Pulling on his robe he headed to the kitchen to make a much needed breakfast.

Sirius lay in bed and fumed. Why was this happening to him? He wasn't going to take the loss of his favorite pastime lying down –so to speak. Hopefully, Remus would not want to talk about it.

Transferring into his wheelchair he headed for the loo. The bathroom seemed larger. Looking around he noticed that the counter top had been lowered. A full length mirror was on the wall opposite the shower. The toilet had been raised to be more level with his wheelchair and safety bars installed. A glance at the shower revealed that it too had bars. A small chair stood in the far end of the shower. It was made of plastic, was backless and had support handles on the sides.

He reeled at everything Remus had done. To him it reinforced his inabilities. Moving over to the toilet, he scowled, the bars did make things easier. Not that he would ever admit to that. Opening the cabinet closest to him, he found, catheters, rubber gloves and lubricant. Sighing, he though about which of the evils to tackle first.

Putting a rubber glove on one hand, he carefully lubricated his index finger. At least this was something he had some experience with. He still felt mortified.

When he was finished he removed the glove and tossed it in the rubbish bin. Putting on fresh gloves he reached for a catheter. Poppy had shown him how to do this, he was horrified then and he was horrified now. Maybe if he didn't think about what he was doing it would be easier. Thank Merlin he wouldn't be able to feel this. Taking several deep breaths he inserted the catheter and watched the fluid drain out.

Sirius caught his image in the mirror. The great Sirius Black reduced to this. He threw the box of rubber gloves at his reflection. It wouldn't break. Everything within reach assaulted the offending mirror. Frustrated, Sirius made to sit in his chair. He had forgotten to put on the brakes. Struggling to get in the chair, it slipped away and he hit the floor.

"Bloody fucking hell," Sirius shouted as he stared at the ceiling.

Remus having heard the steady stream of obscenities ran into the bathroom. Seeing Sirius prone on the floor he rushed to help him up.

"Don't fucking touch me." Shrugging off Remus hand, he rolled onto his stomach. Making sure the brakes were locked, he pulled himself up. Adjusting his legs he unlocked the brakes, turned the chair around and glared at Remus.

"Get out."

Remus couldn't remember the last time he has seen Sirius this angry. It broke his heart to see him this way, but he knew Sirius had to work this out himself. Closing the door Remus headed to the kitchen for a strong cup of tea.

Sirius turned on the taps and let the hot water wash over him. He couldn't even do what he normally would, bloody useless equipment. If this is what it was going to be like…he would end it.

Some time later, Sirius wheeled into the kitchen. Remus had placed his breakfast under a warming charm. Remus himself was on his fifth cup of tea.

"I wrote and sent the letter to Harry." Remus paused waiting for Sirius' reaction.

"Good hopefully he can get here soon. I'm not really sure how he will take seeing me like this." He glared at his eggs.

"Sirius, he won't care. He will just be happy to have you back, as I am." Remus reached out and covered Sirius' hand with his own.

"You still have that muggle TV here?" He asked wheeling into the living room.

"Yes, I do. I even managed to charm it to receive stations from all over the world." Remus watched as Sirius settled on the couch and turned on the TV. "The black contraption on the table is the remote control, you'll be able to switch the stations with it."

"Brilliant," And he proceeded to flip through all the hundreds of stations.

Remus deciding that the clicking of stations was not music to his ears, spent the rest of the day in the gardens. This type of work always relaxed him. Getting dirt under his nails and seeing the fruits of his labor, gave him a feeling of accomplishment. Madam Pomfrey was due to stop by, he needed to wash up.

Walking into the living room he noticed that Sirius had fallen asleep. Watching Sirius sleep had always been one of his favorite pastimes. Times like this he would lie next to Sirius and gently wake him with kisses. Feeling his face fluster, he headed for the bathroom. Somehow he knew if he woke Sirius he wouldn't get the usual response. A long, hot shower is what he needed.

The wards he had set alerted him to an intruder. Guessing that it was Madam Pomfrey, he put on a robe and headed to the door. Opening the door he saw not only Poppy , but Harry as well. Oh dear.

"Hello Remus, Harry met me on the way here. I didn't say anything."

"Remus what's wrong, why is Madam Pomfrey here? Are you alright, your letter was so cryptic." Harry tried to walk past Remus but was stopped.

"Harry, I need you to remain silent. What you are going to see will shock you, but it can all be explained."

Remus led the way into the living room. At the sight of his 'dead' Godfather Harry's jaw dropped. He held his mouth shut so he wouldn't make a sound. There had to be a reason for this.

Poppy stood near Harry as Remus gently sat next to Sirius.

"Sirius, you need to wake up." Remus prayed there wouldn't be a scene in front of Harry and Poppy.

"Mmm Remus, I had the strangest dream." Still clouded by sleep he pulled Remus towards him and kissed him.

Remus struggled to pull away and to prevent Sirius' hands from roaming under his robe.

"Sirius we have company." Managing to move out of reach, he motioned to Harry and Poppy.

Turning his head towards Harry and Poppy, Sirius realized it wasn't a dream. And he had just inadvertently informed Harry of his relationship with Remus. Bloody Hell.

"Sirius, is it really you?" Harry ran towards his Godfather and embraced him a big bear hug. "How did this happen? When did this happen?" He spotted the wheelchair, " What's wrong, are you hurt?"

"Harry why don't you help Remus start dinner, I'm famished. Poppy needs to see me alone for a bit. I promise to talk to you alone right after." This was not how he had planned this reunion.

"Ok," Harry said as he followed Remus into the kitchen. He was going to hold Sirius to his word.

Poppy examined Sirius and found that the condition had not changed. She explained to Sirius how she was still doing everything she could to find a cure. Having finished being poked and prodded, he transferred into the blasted chair and headed for the loo.

"Harry, Sirius wants you to wait for him in the living room. He'll be out shortly." She smiled as Harry bounded off to the couch. "Remus may I speak with you."

"Yes, of course," Remus set the carrots aside and motioned for Poppy to follow. "I think we will have more privacy outside."

Harry sat on the couch, absently playing with a loose thread. He watched as Sirius wheeled into the room and transferred to the couch. Harry wrapped his arms around him and sobbed on his shoulder.

"I am so sorry, I should have known it was a trap." Tears were streaming down his face. "It's all my fault, I am so glad you are back."

"Harry, it wasn't your fault." He held the boy close. "It was brave of you to try and rescue me. I am honored that you care so much about me."

Sirius told him about the events of the past few days. How he had returned, and how he couldn't move or feel his legs.

"You are a paraplegic," Harry said nonplussed. "That's what muggles call it. It is common and they lead happy full lives. So I am sure you will to."

"Well, Poppy is still working on this and she will fix it."

"So…you and Remus," A bemused expression taking over, "why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Things were always so hectic, we never got around to it." Looking Harry squarely in the eye he asked, "You alright with this?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" The corners of his mouth quirked up, "Poor Tonks, she's gonna go all mousey again."

Sirius stared at his Godson and broke into a barking laugh. "If you want to see Remus turn about ten different shades of red, mention that during dinner."

Poppy and Remus returned from their walk. She made one final check of Sirius, said good-bye and left. Remus told the two to stay put, they had a lot of catching up to do. He would fix dinner.

The wards went off.

"I'll get that. Poppy probably forgot something." Remus walked to the front door. He was still holding a bottle of wine that he was about to open.

"Does Remus always spend his day in his bathrobe?" Harry asked.

"No, he'll be utterly mortified when he realizes it. He's had a rough day." He felt a slight pang of guilt for not mentioning it to Remus, but it passed.

Sirius was telling Harry of the many ways to embarrass Remus, when they heard a crash. More precisely they heard the wine bottle shattering. Harry leapt from the couch, wand at the ready. Sirius made to jump off the couch when he remembered he couldn't. He muttered several curses under his breath. Harry rounded the corner, his wand held out and broke into a fit of laughter.

Remus was frantically trying to pry Tonks off of him. Apparently, seeing Remus answer the door in his bathrobe, holding a bottle of wine, was invitation to pounce.

"Bloody hell," was all he said when he finally broke from her grip. He rushed to his bedroom to change, making sure to lock the door behind him.

"Wotcher Harry, what are you doing here?" Tonks' cheeks were flushed, it matched her hair.

"Dory is that you?" Sirius shouted out. He burst into laughter as he heard the umbrella stand crash to the floor.

"Sirius," was all Tonks could manage in her frazzled state.

"In the flesh," he transferred into his chair and made for the kitchen. "Who else needs a drink?" He was going to need several he reckoned.

Remus returned, fully dressed, and started preparing dinner. Grabbing the fire whiskey, he poured a good four fingers worth. He was going to need it. He had hoped that he wouldn't have to deal with Tonks until much later.

"Remus, this is so wonderful." She snaked her arms around Remus' waist. "I am sure he will be happy for us."

Roughly pushing her arms away, Remus turned to face the living room. The smirks on Harry and Sirius' faces did not please him.

"I took the liberty to add a room for Harry. You three should go see it and make sure it will suffice." He tried to sound as polite as possible, but that was hard with a clenched jaw.

Sirius led Harry and Tonks down the hallway, giving an impromptu tour.

"This is the loo," He pushed open the door to show that it was indeed a bathroom.

"I see Remus made it accessible." Harry said nodding in approval.

"Yes he did," was the tart reply. "Over here is your bedroom Harry." He entered the room to inspect Remus' work.

"Remus did a great job, but where are you staying Sirius?" Tonks asked.

"Oh I'm sleeping," he wheeled across the hall and opened the door, "in here with Remus." A devilish wink emphasized his statement.

Harry turned to face the wall so he could hide his need to laugh. Sirius was basking in the way Tonks' jaw dropped. The color left her face and he noticed that her hair was becoming less pink. Good at least that was settled once and for all. Remus was his and she needed to keep her mitts off of him.

Tonks stared at Sirius and Harry. It couldn't be true. She never noticed any of the signs, and she was so good at spotting them.

"Aww Sirius that's a good one, trying to pull the wool over little Dory's eyes," she laughed as she headed back to the kitchen. Remus probably slept on the couch and let Sirius have the bed.

"She really is dense," Sirius stated as he watched her retreat to the kitchen.

"Seems so, maybe she has had one too many concussions."

"Well I may have to settle this, even if it causes Remus a great deal of embarrassment."

Following behind Sirius, Harry noticed how he was wheeling himself. If he had the chance he was going to get Sirius a pair of gloves. He always saw those in wheelchairs wearing gloves, so it had to help protect the hands. Yes, he would get a nice pair of black leather gloves, with the finger tips cut off. He reckoned that muggle London would be the best place to go. Perhaps, Remus would go with him. He wanted to spend some time alone with Remus, get his side of the story.

Upon entering the kitchen, they saw the table set and Remus in the process of opening a bottle of wine.

"Remus," Sirius said as he eyed Tonks, who was sitting at the table ogling his Remus.

"What is it Sirius?" Remus walked over, wine bottle still in his hands.

"Nothing, just this," he pulled Remus into his lap and kissed him.

Harry snickered. Tonks harrumphed in dissent. And Remus let the wine bottle slip through his fingers and shatter.

Dinner was interesting to say the least. Harry talked about his quest of the horcruxes. He insisted that Sirius help him in this venture. Sirius snarled, what was he able to do? Harry suggested research. The accompanying tirade as to how research was a waste of time, garnered him growl from Remus. Tonks just jabbed at her roast chicken and vegetables and let her hair turn a God awful mud color.

Time unfortunately does not heal all wounds. Sirius was finding this difficult to live with. Months had gone by and there wasn't any improvement in his condition, other than he could pop an impressive wheelie. His godson was still staying with them. Remus and Harry were still trying to convince him that research was a valuable contribution to the cause. Hogwash, it was just something to make him feel useful. Pity, that's all it was.

The full moon had come and gone. It was another reminder of his condition. He had wanted to be there for Remus. Changing into Padfoot was still as natural as breathing, but his ailment didn't change. Any muggle seeing Padfoot drag his hid legs would have put him down. It was decided that even with the Wolfsbane potion, it wouldn't be safe. Moony may not take kindly to a lame Padfoot. So, on the night of the full moon, Remus transformed in the basement alone. Sirius on the other hand, found Mundungus' stash of Wild Irish Rose. He had hidden it in Remus' pantry. Sure it tasted like kerosene, but it got the job done.

Sirius had become irritable. The slightest things set him off in a rage. Mundungus' stash was getting smaller and smaller.

Opening his eyes, Sirius realized two things. One, it was late morning, and two the sun was way too bright. Upon entering the kitchen he spotted a note from Remus on the table. A glass of hangover potion and a plate of scones resided next to the note. Sirius read the note as he drank the potion. Remus was out running some errands –again. He had been spending a lot of time away, and it made Sirius edgy. Grabbing a scone and a bottle of Mundungus' finest, he headed for the couch.

Remus returned late in the afternoon. Sirius was asleep on the couch, and a half drunk bottle on the floor. Left overs would have to do for dinner; it had been a long day. Cup of tea in hand he stepped outside. Sitting in a chair, he closed his eyes and breathed in the scents of summer. He picked up a familiar scent in the air and smiled.

"Hello Kingsley."

"Hi Remus," he pulled a chair closer and sat down. "You really need to set up some wards I can't get past." He smirked and placed a bottle of red currant rum on the nearby table.

"I would never keep you out Kingsley, you know that." He pulled out his wand and conjured some glasses.

"How are you holding up?" Concern was etched in his eyes. "Your wish came true." Kingsley looked off in to the distance.

"I am thrilled to have him back, but it's not easy. I wish I could make things easier for him. Help him understand that this isn't the end of the world."

"That won't be easy, but I am sure you can do it. It'll take time." He filled the glasses and raised his for a toast. "To dreams come true."

"I wish yours had come true Kingsley. I know you'd give anything to be called an imp again."

"Very true, you know you're the only one that knows that was my pet name. Tell that mutt of yours and I'll hex you." Grinning he refilled their glasses.

Several drinks later Remus was feeling much better. Talking with Kingsley had really helped him forget the present problems. The friendship with Kingsley was relatively new. It had been forged in the common bond of grief. It had been a godsend to be able to discuss his loss with someone who knew what it felt like.

"Thank you Kingsley, your friendship has meant the world to me. I hope you will come around often." He placed his hand over Kingsley's.

"What the bloody hell is going on out here?" Sirius was irate as his gazed locked on their hands.

"Sirius," Remus pulled his hand away. "You remember Kingsley."

"Yeah I do, get your mitts off Remus. Just what the hell is going on out here?" His glare and venom was directed at the unwelcome guest.

"I better go, good seeing you again Remus, Sirius." Kingsley took his leave quickly.

"Sirius there was no call for that."

"Were you with Kingsley? I bet you were, didn't mourn me long did you. Or are you shagging him now because I can't?" He replied through gritted teeth.

Remus stormed up to Sirius, looking him squarely in the eye. His eyes were smoldering, his nostrils flared and hands gripped Sirius' wheelchair.

"How dare you even suggest that." Remus turned, grabbed the bottle of red currant rum and stormed off into the woods.

Sirius watched as Remus disappeared into the forest.

"I can't believe you said that." Harry stood in the doorway looking at Sirius.

"It doesn't concern you."

Harry shook his head in disbelief and went after Remus.

Sirius knocked over the chair Kingsley had been sitting in. Wheeling into the kitchen he bumped into the table. Frustrated, he punched the wall, leaving a hole. His knuckles were bloody and he didn't care. He retreated to his haven. The couch and Wild Irish Rose were waiting for him.