CHAPTER ONE-MEMORIES REMAIN

Dear DIE-ary:

When I sleep, the few, ed moments I get, it is always the same. My date with Devi.

Sometimes, I merely relive the actual event, getting my knives, attempting to "immortalize the moment". I feel the insane rush in my veins, watch her try to escape. The she becomes defiant, stands tall. God, how I admire that. She then proceeds to kick my ass. The same event.

Others, it is a horrible nightmare. Devi does not escape, and I kill her. I laugh in the drams as I feed the wall with her . Her beautiful body joins countless others; her jade eyes are dull, lifeless, staring at nothing forever more. These are why I fear and sleep. I cry after each one, knowing she will never love me.

And the others, oh, God, the others. In the others, we DO kiss, a beautiful thing. These I cherish, for the kiss seems to last an eternity. An eternity with only Devi and I. In these, I am sane, we are together, and she loves me. I don't kill, I don't try to kill her. It is just she and I. That is how I wish my life was.

Johnny shut his die-ary and sighed. He looked out over the city from the hill far above. It was late; most of the lights in the city were off. It was quiet, peaceful, a perfect thinking night, with the stars shining bright overhead.

Johnny stood up from the hood of his car, where he had been sitting to write and think about Devi. He stretched stiffly, and passed a hand over his forehead, brushing his bangs out of his eyes.

"Damn it." He thought, "Stop thinking about her she s you, end of story."

He got into his car, heaving another heavy sigh. He sat for a moment, looking over the city again. It reminded him of himself: dark, and empty. Starting the car, he touched the pockets of his coat. They were empty, light, and unusually vacant of his knives. He had thrown them at Reverend Meat in a fit of rage when he was getting his die-ary out of the house. He d Meat, he was an ever-present reminder of his insanity, his . And he kept persisting about Devi; the thoughts Johnny wanted to keep secret the most. The thought closest to his heart.

Faint streams of music came from the radio: "Send her my love, memories remain…" Johnny stabbed the button angrily, silencing the radio.

Memories…memories of Devi, memories of their date. Memories that hurt. Johnny cursed himself.

"Forget her." He said aloud, glaring at the road before him, "She's probably not even living in the city anymore. Just for- ing-get about her!"

Johnny parked at his house, but didn't go in. He wasn't going to face Reverend Meat again, not so soon after he had lost it with the little figure. Instead, he walked down the street, not really paying attention to where he was going. Before he knew it, he was standing in front of the bookstore where Devi worked.

He pressed his forehead against the glass, wondering if she still worked there. But, there was no chance of her being here so late, and she probably wouldn't want anything to do with him, anyway. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts, he failed to hear the heavy footsteps of a dark figure approaching from behind.

Plz. R&R. That button, down there. Ch 2 won't be up until you review for me!