Hiei Kitty! Idea proposed by RuneWitchSakura, used with permission. At the beginning of Harry's Sixth Year at Hogwarts, he receives a strange gift from Bellatrix Lestrange - a rather bizarre cat. Meanwhile, in Japan, Hiei of the Spirit Detectives has gone missing. What madness ensues when Yusuke and company go to Europe to track down their friend? Harry Potter/Yu Yu Hakusho Crossover, Hiei/Harry, Dumbledore&Ron!Bashing, Calculating!Hermione, Kitty!Hiei, HonorHarrington!References, other warnings and labels added as needed.

With thanks to Shadow Oblivion for acting as beta-reader/innocent victim of my work.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for creating Harry Potter or Yu Yu Hakusho (or Honor Harrington and Sphinxian Treecats, for that matter), nor am I intending to profit from this. Enjoy!


Oh, my aching head, thought Hiei to himself. Where am I? And who was the crazy lady with a stick who shot that weird light at me? Unthinkingly, he proceeded to lick a paw in deliberation. So, what do we have here? Looking around himself, Hiei performed a mental evaluation of his surroundings. What he saw didn't look good; an oversized, unfamiliar bedroom rarely does, especially when - is that blood? Human blood? Tail lashing, now, Hiei began to check himself over for any combat injuries; what he actually saw surprised him, however.

What the bloody HE- he thought to himself, is this me? Am I a cat?

. . . It's kind of sexy, actually . . .

His complimentary self-appraisal was understandable; he was covered from his cute, pointed ears to the end of his tail in fur colored an unusually dark shade of cream. His body - discounting his tail - was about two feet long; the tail added another foot and a half, easily, to his length.

Even though cats are supposed to have only four legs, not six, he thought to himself. I wonder what's up with that? Did the hag try something she couldn't manage on me?

So, I'm some sort of freak - a sexy freak, but still. Business as usual, I suppose.

With that thought in mind, Hiei leapt off of the bed on which he had found himself, with the intention of performing a closer investigation of the room - the wall stained with blood was downright fascinating to him - when the only door burst open, a rather thin boy falling through it.

Ouch, I guess we know where the blood comes from, now.

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

Harry Potter was not your average teenage boy. In fact, he was just about as far from being an ordinary cookie-cutter cutout of a teenager as one could find in Little Whinging, Surrey, much to the dismay of his relatives in that very neighborhood. These relatives, Mr. and Mrs. Vernon and Petunia Dursley, and their rather over wide son, Dudley, sought to pretend that nothing out of the ordinary could possibly occur in their home. However, they were finding it increasingly difficult to sustain this polite fiction, even within their own minds; what they would have done upon seeing an owl carrying an enchanted letter doesn't even bear considering. Fortunately for their peace of mind, they were not home to observe Harry receive a rather loud letter by owl-post.

"HARRY, DEAR, I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING FUN IN YOUR MUGGLE HOVEL" shrieked a fluttering red envelope. "I'VE SENT YOU SOMETHING OF A GIFT. I HOPE YOU FIND IT ENTERTAINING BEFORE YOU DIE AT THE HANDS OF THE DARK LORD!"

The Howler, a magical letter that blasted its message at several dozen decibels of sound louder than most doctors recommend is safe, then proceeded to destroy itself in a small, localized maelstrom of catastrophic magic and maniacal laughter, in the process launching a hex at Harry. Harry promptly dodged, but as he was in the living room of his home, the hex impacted on the television set.

Muggle - that is to say, non-magical - devices rarely mix well with magic, and this television was certainly no exception. The exploding device managed to clip Harry with flying shrapnel, cutting him in several places. As Harry tried to staunch the bleeding, he thought to himself, that's the third Howler this week! What is it with that psycho; is she obsessed with me? I guess I'll have to get Mrs. Figg to come over so I can start casting cleaning spells again.

Harry went up to his room, where his magic wand was located. As this little episode proved, he couldn't even walk down the stairs in his own house without being attacked - by Bellatrix Lestrange, no less! - and he certainly wasn't about to leave the warded protections of Number Four, Privet Drive without at least arming himself, and blast any laws against underage wizardry! However, once he was under the supervision of Mrs. Figg, he could cast away with no one able to complain that he was performing magic around Muggles.

Arabella Figg was a Squib - someone born into the Wizarding World who had, essentially, no inborn talent for magic. However, since she was a part of the magical community, she could allow Harry to perform spells outside of school, so long as no Muggles were around to see it. At worst, she could let Harry use her fireplace, connected to the Wizard's Floo Network, to fetch someone who could use magic without being accused of breaking Wizarding Law. However, unless the Ministry of Magic had rescinded its recent decision concerning him and the use of magic outside of school, he only needed supervision to cast spells outside of an emergency.

Distracted by dark thoughts concerning the meddlesome Ministry, he was unprepared for the hex that Lestrange had somehow managed to put on his door - a simple tripping hex, oddly enough. One would think, as Bellatrix Lestrange wanted Harry dead for daring to stand against her precious Dark Lord, that she would have placed more dangerous spells in his house. But, that was Bellatrix for you; anyone who was born into the "Noble and Most Ancient House of Black" was practically required to be loopy, and she certainly excelled at that.

Mental stability aside, she apparently could give the Weasley Twins a run for their money when it came to pranks, at least if what she had done so far was any indication - the incident with the dish of pasta simply didn't bear thinking on. The Tripping Hex caught Harry right as he flung open the door to his room, and was just a little unbalanced. Predictably, Harry fell forward - had it not been for a quick twist as he fell, he might have squashed the furry observer who had entered his room unannounced. As it was, blood from his cuts went flying as he impacted with an "oof!" on the floor of his bedroom, adding to the mess already present on the walls and floor.

Hmm, he doesn't look like much, thought Hiei to himself; he's much too scrawny. Not to mention clumsy. But, I suppose that explains the blood stains.

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

In an office located within Reikai - the Spirit Realm - a young-looking man was sitting behind a rather substantial desk. More precisely, he was leaning back in his fancy office-chair, holding a telephone receiver to his head in one hand, and an infant's pacifier in the other.

"Hey, the historians and biographers make their own share of mistakes, too. Just look at the travesty of a story they wrote about Yusuke; honestly, they said that he simply had Demon heritage, when anyone with half a brain knows that - oh, shoot, I've got a call on the business line, I've got to take it. I'll call you back, okay?" With that said, the man sat upright and pressed the glowing button on his phone labeled "Urgent." In a much less cheerful tone of voice, he spoke, "What is it, you interrupted a very important call -" but was cut off by the person on the other end of the line. A moment later -

"WHAT?! Whaddaya mean, 'Hiei's missing?'"


End Chapter One.

Author's Note: Commentary and such will be greatly appreciated! Also, if anyone can tell me how to use a series of three asterisk characters instead of this HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP nonsense, it would be greatly appreciated - not to mention that it would look more professional. For some reason, the document editor refuses to save them whenever I try to input them and save the changes. It's stupid, but the only other alternatives are to either have that gray line - which I'm using to start and end the actual chapter - or simply to have a large space to indicate a change in scene or point of view.