EXTRA NOTE: Guys, this was seriously done just for the laughs. Some of you are offended that this chapter and have messaged me about it, which confuses me. Of course this mini-chapter is unrelated to the actual story of this game. And of course it's fake.
I was actually inspired by the "unscripted" versions of the US Mole finales, written by the actual producer of the Mole. So I decided to do my own version of it here. I just want to say that if you find this final chapter so "wrong" in your opinion, please do not read it.
Otherwise, enjoy this!
And now we give you the unscripted version of the finale of The Mole: Traitor Aboard:
McHallyboo: Welcome everybody to the last and final episode of The Mole: Traitor Aboard. It's been three months since Luigi, Blooper, and Toadette had taken that final quiz aboard that old train in Bob-omb village, and now, the results of that quiz will be revealed. Over here we have our six executed players. Welcome back guys.
Doopliss: How much are we being paid for being here?
McHallyboo: Err, none at all. Why would you ask that?
Peach: What? The invitation promised us that we would get money! I want MY money!
(Daisy slaps Peach)
Daisy: Shut up! You're already rich. I mean, look at poor Rawk Hawk over there. He's poor and he's not even complaining one bit.
McHallyboo: Actually Daisy, I was just about to inform everyone that Rawk Hawk was injured during his fall in the Cliff Springs challenge. His vocal cords were snapped, and now, well he can't talk any more.
(Rawk Hawk holds up a sign that reads, "I'm suing this show and now I'm gonna be rich, baby!")
Birdo: Well, I don't need any money for being here. I just came here to find out who the Mole is.
McHallyboo: Oh yes, let's continue one. Okay, so I'm going to ask you guys two questions; who you think the winner is, and who you think the Mole is. Rawk Hawk?
Rawk Hawk: Hmmph mph httmp Luigi win mphmm Toadette Mole mfffhph!
McHallyboo: Okay. Doopliss?
Doopliss: Hey, why do you ask the first executed players first for their prediction? I call that racism!
McHallyboo: Doopliss, no way in the world is that called racism-
Doopliss: Oh yeah it is! We're in the Mole world now. And that's racism.
Birdo: He's right.
(McHallyboo looks at the camera, then sighs)
McHallyboo: Okay. Lakitu?
Lakitu: I mock the surviving three to the depths of hell. I refuse to predict.
McHallyboo: O...kay. Doopliss?
Doopliss: I'm sure Luigi is the Mole. And I think Toadette is the winner.
Daisy: Toadette is the winner. Luigi is sooo the Mole! When I didn't vote for him on the quiz, I got executed. Suspicious? I think so.
McHallyboo: Birdo, who do you think the winner is and who do you think the Mole is?
Birdo: Luigi is the Mole and I want to date him. If he's not the Mole then I want to go out on a date with the real Mole. I have a fondness for suspicious people. The winner is Blooper.
McHallyboo: Errrrrm...uhhh...that's just weird. But you ARE Birdo, so I'll take it. And lastly, Peach?
Peach: Hmm, like, I think Toadette is like the Mole or something, but since nobody else voted for Toadette and I never want to be that left-out person, I totally vote for Luigi.
McHallyboo: And who do you think will win?
Peach: I don't care.
McHallyboo: Fair enough. All right, now it's time for us to discover who the Mole is. Everyone turn to the television.
Lakitu: I waited so long for this moment. If I'm not surprised, someone's getting killed. And I'm dead serious.
(Pulls out a dagger from his pocket to McHallyboo's horror)
(the footage shows the Bob-omb train station from three months ago. The train approaches the station and stops. McHallyboo jumps off the front of the train and stands in the middle of the platform).
McHallyboo: Once you are all in front of your doors, I will turn on only the sensor of the winner's doors. If your doors open up, you are the winner, and you have just won two hundred and forty thousand coins. Luigi, are you ready?
McHallyboo: Luigi? Are you there?
Luigi: Oh, sorry. I was just finishing up my quiz.
McHallyboo: Uh, Luigi, the quizzes on your laptops stopped taking results over an hour ago. You had approximately 48 hours to finish the quiz. Are you looking at a blank laptop screen?
Blooper: Oh dear, I guess I win then. We all know the Toadette's the-
Toadette: I'm ready, McHallyboo!
McHallyboo: Blooper, are you ready?
Blooper: You just heard my voice a second ago!
McHallyboo: Oh yeah, I forgot. Okay, well, are all of you standing in front of your doors?
McHallyboo: May the winner's door...please open!
(McHallyboo pushes down on the middle button, but none of the doors open)
McHallyboo: That's odd. Maybe it's this one.
(pushes first button, and the doors of Blooper's car open)
Blooper: Oh my God, I'm the winner? YAY YAY YAY! YAHOOOO! I WON THE MOLE! I WON! I WON OVER 200,000 COINS! YES YES! I'M SO HAPPY I WON! I'LL GO TO COLLEGE AND BECOME A DOCTOR AND BE SUCCESSFUL AND LIVE THE HAPPIEST LIFE EVER!
McHallyboo: Wait, huh?
(looks at remote)
McHallyboo: Luigi, are you standing in front of your door?
Luigi: Oh no, I'm still sitting down on my chair. Why?
McHallyboo: I TOLD EVERYONE TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEIR DOORS! DO YOU NOT KNOW ENGLISH, YOU-
Luigi: Wow, no need to yell at me. You're a very bad host.
(McHallyboo takes a deep breath and controls his anger)
McHallyboo: Blooper, I am very sorry, but you are not the winner. Please return back to your car.
Blooper: But, but... (teary eyed)
McHallyboo: It's the rules.
(Blooper bursts into tears and runs back into his train car. The doors close)
McHallyboo: Okay. Once again. May the winner's doors...please open.
(Luigi pops out of his car)
Luigi: I won? Unbelievable!
McHallyboo: Congratulations, Luigi! You are the winner of the Mole: Traitor Aboard! How do you feel?
Luigi: Okay, I guess.
McHallyboo: That's it?
Luigi: Well, I am a bit sore from that 48 hour train ride, but other than that, I feel fine.
McHallyboo: I was honestly expecting a better reaction than that. But I can't force you. Let's now release the Mole!
(McHallyboo pushes down on the third button)
Toadette: (pops out of train car) Hi guys!
Luigi: Wow, you stepped onto the dusty terrain just like you had stepped off from the helicopter on Day 1!
Toadette: Yeah, I'm aware of that.
Luigi: Anyways, you were an awesome Mole!
Toadette: Stop fibbing. You voted for me since Day 1.
Luigi: But you were an awesome Mole.
Toadette: Well, okay. Thanks for telling me that.
McHallyboo: Well, nobody cares about the runner-up (looks at the third train car) so let's all go ride in the limousine out to dinner!
(the three of them happily walk off the platform and to a waiting limousine)
(the phrase THE END appears at the end on the television. The players are dumbstruck and speechless)
Lakitu: I have to admit, I was surprised.
(puts dagger away)
Peach: Toadette was the Mole? What a phone!
Rawk Hawk: Mphm agree! phmnfm.
(Daisy slaps Peach)
Daisy: She did good! And don't call my friend a "phony". That's a bad word.
Doopliss: Wait, so Luigi was the Mole?
McHallyboo: Did you even watch the revealing?
Doopliss: Nah, too busy worrying about my new job. I had to quit my old one to get onto this show, and look how far I got! Not even the third episode.
Daisy: Wait, but I don't get it! How is Luigi not the Mole? I didn't vote for him on the quiz and I got executed!
Birdo: Who else did you not vote for?
Daisy: Everyone except Lakitu.
Birdo: There you go.
(Blooper, Luigi, and Toadette appear from the hotel entrance. The others are delighted and they all settle down)
McHallyboo: Well, now that we know everything, we can now say that Luigi is the winner, and that Toadette was the Mole. Blooper was just there for the lol's.
McHallyboo: Oh no Blooper, it was definitely true. So, let's reveal and take a look at your strategy, shall we?
Blooper started off completely clueless. He was an ocean explorer, and a videographer. But what we had never mentioned before was that he was also a drug dealer.
Blooper: My strategy is to execute the others. I give the players drugs for free, and in return, they self-execute themselves. It's as simple as that.
It worked perfectly. Until in the end when he realized that Luigi was secretly an undercover cop.
Luigi: Just like Steven from the Mole 1 US!
In the end, Luigi won. And that was that.
Birdo: Oh wow...
Blooper: Poppycock! I should have tried harder.
Peach: You offered me drugs? I never knew that!
Blooper: I did. I just told you that it was edible money.
Peach: Oh yeah! Now I totally remember.
Daisy: How outlandishly innapropriate.
McHallyboo: But Blooper, wasn't that an illegal thing to do?
Blooper: I dunno. I guess it was, but I just wanted to win the game.
McHallyboo: Well, you ended up not winning the game so that was actually fine with the producers. On the final quiz, both of you had gone for Toadette. The quiz came down to two questions! Blooper, you scored three correct out of the twenty questions, and Luigi, you answered five correctly. Well done!
Lakitu: Do I dare ask what the questions were that altered the finale?
McHallyboo: Certainly. The first question that Luigi answered correctly that Blooper got wrong was:
1. Which of these two objects were in the Mole's bag during the Baggage challenge? You answered "Deodorant and black T-shirt".
Toadette: Huh? Were you even voting for me?
Blooper: I was indeed. I got you and Rawk Hawk mixed up at that moment.
McHallyboo: The second question that Blooper got wrong was:
2. Who is the Mole?
(all players turn to Blooper in confusion)
Blooper: I just remembered that I had accidentally chosen myself on that question.
McHallyboo: Ouch, bad luck. Grows hands next time so you don't mess up on choosing your answers. Anyways, Toadette was the Mole!
(the others cheer)
Toadette: Yep! I certainly was.
McHallyboo: Let's take a look at her strategy.
(all players turn curiously to the TV)
And that's how Toadette got the other players to execute themselves.
(the video finishes, all the players are flabbergasted, wide-eyed, and wide-mouthed)
Birdo: Oh dear...that was worse than Blooper's strategy.
Toadette: Wait! The producers promised to never tell any of that! Come on!
McHallyboo: Well, Toadette, you're not the only liar in this game.
Doopliss: I can see that...
McHallyboo: What in heavens are you talking about, Doopliss? Anyways, let's now look at Toadette's sabotage throughout the entire game.
"I switched Blooper's and Rawk Hawk's bags in that game. This caused Blooper to mess up on the final quiz."
Sell and Laugh Challenge
"I bought pumpkins for the other two to sell. Nobody in Rogueport knows what a pumpkin is so nobody bought any of them."
Journey of Completion
"I helped them win the game."
(TV flashes off)
Peach: What happened to the TV?
McHallyboo: Nothing's wrong, it's just that the segment is over.
Doopliss: That's all she did for the entire game? No wonder nobody suspected her!
Birdo: The last one wasn't even sabotage!
McHallyboo: You know what, it's your all darned fault. All you guys do is complain, and complain, and you all deserve it! All except for Toadette.
(Toadette flashes a smile)
McHallyboo: Okay, time for the hidden clues. Because we're running low on budget here we won't be using the television.
Daisy: And you had enough money to give away 240,000 coins in the end?
McHallyboo: Hush! Clue Number 1: Toadette is the very first Mole ever. So, her name could be "The Mole 1". Eight letters. That's exactly how many letters are in the name Toadette.
Daisy: Ummmmmm...that's not a clue.
McHallyboo: Clue Number 2: Toadette is an emergency nurse. During the Hostage rescue, Luigi was certainly in an emergency.
All Players: ...srsly?
McHallyboo: Clue Number 3: Toadette is a mushroom, and there were lots of mentionings of mushooms throughout the game.
Birdo: Oh, well that one isn't too bad of a clue. It actually makes sense.
McHallyboo: Clue Number 4: I told you that there were lots of mentionings of mushrooms in the game. In fact, there weren't any at all. If you had known I was lying to you, you would have also known that Toadette was indeed lying as well, and that she is the Mole.
Doopliss: WHAT THE HECK THAT MADE NO SENSE!
McHallyboo: And finally, Clue Number 5: The word "Toadette" flashed in one frame during Episode 7's intro.
Peach: Hey, that's not fair! We couldn't see that!
McHallyboo: I know. How do you think the readers felt about that clue?
McHallyboo: What was that, Lakitu?
(All of a sudden Lakitu pulls out his dagger and aims it at the host, throwing it. The host manages to duck in the nick of time and dodge the flying weapon. He then pulls out a gun from his coat pocket and shoots Lakitu. He crumbles into a pile of bones)
PEACH: AWWW MY GAWWWWD WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON IN HERE?
BLOOPER: LAKITU'S DEAD! LAKITU IS DEAD!
(Everyone else screams in fear)
Rawk Hawk: MHPHG PHMGH TFFBITPH! WTF?
McHallyboo: Calm down everyone! Producers!
(the producers come in and take away Lakitu's...remains, but McHallyboo stops them)
McHallyboo: No, leave him here. The finale isn't over yet.
Daisy: Ewww, I don't want to be sitting next to a dead corpse!
Birdo: Well, he really wasn't too much of a fun player anyway.
McHallyboo: And now we come to the conclusion of our finale. Toadette, what's your advice for a future Mole?
Toadette: Umm, I don't know. Don't sabotage? Because then people would suspect you.
McHallyboo: Hmm...Toadette, I think it's clear the producers had forgotten to tell you that the Mole's job is to sabotage.
Toadette: Huh? It was?
McHallyboo: Umm, yep. Luigi, what's your advice for any future players?
Luigi: You're asking me? Oh, I am so flattered! Mama-mia, yes! I'm finally popular!
McHallyboo: Actually, I'm just asking you that question because you had won the game. You'll never be popular no matter what you do, so just accept it.
Luigi: Oh, I figured that...
McHallyboo: And nobody cares what Blooper has to say.
(Blooper buries his head in his lap)
McHallyboo: And that is all. Good night folks!
Peach: But where's our money?
McHallyboo: NO YOU DO NOT GET ANY MONEY! GOOD NIGHT!
Luigi Mario went home happily after the game. With the 240,000 coins he had won, he was finally able to bail his brother Mario out of jail (for illegal property trespassing during his adventures). With the rest of his money, he was able to pay for the gastric bypass surgery Mario always wanted.
Blooper Inke became severely depressed from his loss after the game ended. He now rules the underwater facilitations for troubled sea creatures).
And Toadette? Well, let's just say that after doing her horrible job as the Mole, she finally went back to her normal life. Whatever that is.
And that is the unscripted version of the Mole: Traitor Aboard! Well, not really. This was just done for the lol's, and is completely unrelated to the actual storyline. None of this never happened.
I actually started my own online version of the Mole during the summer on Facebook, and it went great! The finale will be in about two weeks. And a great thanks to Wimpzilla for referencing me (in a very hilarious and fitting way I must say XD) in his story
I'd like to give just another huge thanks to all my readers and reviewers out there! This story wouldn't have ever been complete without you guys following it along, reviewing and, well, acting like real detectives along the story! Hope you enjoyed it greatly.
Oh, and some of you are waiting for a so-called second season. But when will it come? That question is as mysterious as the Mole, isn't it?