Title: Symmetry 1: Everything Has It's Beginning… And It's End

Pairings/Characters: Lianne/Jake, Lianne/Keith, Jake/Celeste (eventually: Logan/Lilly, Duncan/Veronica, Logan/Veronica)

Summary: There are similarities to the past and now. History always repeats itself, whether we realize it or not and breaking the circle is always the most difficult part of it all.

Spoilers/Warnings: Everything to 3.17 (Debasement Tapes), especially Season 1



Disclaimer: None of it's mine, and if it was it would all be going different right now. So don't sue, because I have nothing and it'd be a waste of both our time. The Song it Clean Getaway by Maria Taylor. I was listening to the song when the idea struck me so… blame it on my over-sentimentality.

A/N There's not really any dialog in this chapter. It's mostly just background stuff…



Everything Has It's Beginning…

And It's End

I made my place by the door

I didn't know what I was waiting for

It felt just like home

Except no grass, no yard, no pictures hung

She slid into a booth close to the door of the small café on campus. Looking around she found this one had the most light. It also seemed to be the least popular seat due to it's unfortunately breezy location. Which was fine for her, she'd be hunched over the paper too much for it to blow away and what's more, she'd rather no one have any view what so ever of what she was writing.

She settled into her seat more comfortably, took a moment to get accustomed to slightly dimmer lighting of the shop. She looked around, stretching her neck around, trying to look like she was stretching when really she was checking out her surroundings. Making sure that there wasn't a single person she knew here today. This was an important thing, an important letter. A letter that she would forever think of as 'life defining', a decision that she had made and was now following through on. If only she had the courage to do it in person, to say the things to the face of the man she loved. The man she left behind to another woman.

She supposed that their on and off relationship all through high school should have been the first clue. The fact that he had finally moved past her and onto someone else their senior year should have been the second. She honestly wished that she hadn't started their last fight before their last year of high school, that she hadn't pushed him so far. But she didn't think that it was going to be the one time he took her firmly stated "we're over" as a fact instead of a silly little suggestion. They had never broken up for more than a couple days before. But when she had stepped into the school that first time afterwards—the first day of her senior year, the year to end all years—she knew something was wrong. She hadn't seen him in over a week and it worried her.

She ordered a coffee and a plate of fries when the waitress came over. The waitress was a cliché. Red hair and too much make-up. Called her honey and smacked on some chewing gum while she scribbled down the order. Lianne hated and adored her for her simplicity. The woman was able to step into the role of Waitress #1 with ease the way she was trying to step into College Student and failing.

I could see across to the park

And there were friends

They were laughing hard

They looked just like my own

With no face, no name, no voice I know

High school was still so fresh in her mind. Jake was still so fresh in her mind. She missed her old friends. She missed her old life, the perfect one where she was the queen of high school and dated the king. She missed sitting in class with Patty and talking about everyone. Patty had always been a good confidante, kept every secret she ever gave her and never uttered a word to anyone. She missed that. Adrianna was a good friend, an easy friends since she didn't know all the tawdry details of her overly dramatic relationship with Jake Kane. But the girl couldn't keep a secret to save her life, which made their friendship a bit of a problem. Lianne had a lot of secrets.

More than Patty she longed for Debbie. Debbie had been her best friend until she had opened her mouth and informed the entire school that little Mary Mooney got knocked up by the vice principal. The argument they had had over nearly ended their friendship altogether but the pretended to get over it. It wasn't until that hellacious discipline hearing where she had to take it all back that they fell apart completely. She sacrificed her friendship for Mary because she really shouldn't have told anyway. Then she had walked up to the doorstep with her when she left the baby on his doorstep. And she had held her while she cried after she found out that the very same baby she left to her father had been found in the bathroom during prom.

I finally made it,

I made a clean getaway.

I finally made it,

I made a clean getaway.

Lianne pulled out her yellow legal pad and the pink tinted stationary. A rough draft wouldn't hurt and she'd rather not waste so much of her favorite stationary. The letter had to be perfect, couldn't be anything less than.

She had thought that she had left this all behind four years ago when she had left for college. 1980 was supposed to be the end of the Jake and Lianne drama, but here she was again. She was about to graduate from college and she was still focused solely on Jake and their issues. Why hadn't she let go of him yet? She thought she had, once upon a time. But when her mother had sent her that announcement in the paper. The one that shattered all the dreams she didn't realize she still had.

Jake Kane and Celeste Conothan: Engaged

What was her mother thinking anyway? Why would she want to see that? She had to read the announcement several times before the news began to really sink in. Then there was the dumbest decision she had ever made in her life. She called his mother. She had assured her that she just wanted to congratulate him, after all, she was still his friend. Friend? Like they had spoken to each other in the four years since high school.

Jake had seemed shocked to hear from her, as was expected. But wasn't expected was his offer. That he would leave Celeste and marry her if she were to come back to him. He seemed a little desperate and lost over the phone when he told her that he still loved her and that he was sorry for senior year. That he would take it back if he could. That he would never have dated Celeste—let alone sleep with her. That if he hadn't they wouldn't have broken up after she had insisted she was pregnant. Jake and Lianne prom king and queen, together forever. Just like in all the fairy tales.

I met someone at the bar,

He had a great smile and a great heart.

It felt just like love,

Except no fear of losing and it wasn't tough

Lianne had hung up shortly after. She said that she hadn't expected him to say these things, she needed some time to thing. He agreed but urged her to be quick, the wedding wasn't too far off and he needed an answer before hand.

Things were serious with Keith. She was pretty sure that he was in love with her, and she was pretty sure she might be in love with him. It felt just like love, and it was easy. Love shouldn't be as hard as Jake made it. With him it was all hurt and heartbreak. He had given up on her before. He had left and slept with someone else when she had always been loyal to him. Loyalty. Look where that loyalty had gotten her. Broken hearted and forgotten more than once. Pushed aside for icy Celeste who seemed to be the proper girlfriend and never showed any emotion. The one that had manipulated and schemed to get her way. The one that had finally won, whether Jake wanted to admit it or not.

I finally made it,

I made a clean getaway.

I finally made it,

I made a clean getaway.

Lianne finally put her pen to her paper, her stationary. There wouldn't be a rough draft. If she had to write it more than once she might change her mind, lose her nerve.

Dear Jake,

I'm sorry. I truly am. I never should have called after I saw the announcement. It was an impulsive move that I wish I could take back.

You and Celeste should be together. I saw the picture of you two from the paper, you look happy. If I thought that we could work in the long run I would say yes and run away with you. I would marry you and we could live that happily ever after that always seems out of reach. But I can't. It's too hard, we're too hard.

Sometimes love can't be enough. It isn't enough. Not when so many people will be hurt in the process and not when it isn't guaranteed to work out after they're hurt. I've met someone and I think I may be able to be happy with him.

Be happy, and I'll love you always. Goodbye.

Lianne read over it once more and resisted the urge to tear it in pieces. She folded it and tucked into an envelope she had neatly addressed. Holding back tears she licked and pressed down the seal before turning it over.

The waitress came to refill her coffee for a third time and take away the empty plate. She asked if Lianne was okay. If she wanted to talk about it. She replied that she was fine and she didn't need to talk, trying to wipe away the fallen tears as she said it.

She sat there with the letter clutched in her hands, staring at it, for nearly twenty minutes. She stood and left the café, leaving money on the table with a pretty good sized tip. She decided that she had liked the waitress after all, her concern had seemed real.

The walk to mailbox was short in distance, but seemed so much longer in her mind. As she pressed the stamp to the corner she gripped the letter tighter. Poised to rip. But she stopped herself and slipped it into the slot before she could really change her mind.

And I miss you,

I miss you ever single day.

A/N So what do you think? It's my first piece of fiction so…