This chapter may be confusing, rest assured that I despise Muraki. I wish him nothing but bullheaded vipers and brown recluse spiders in his bed (but he is still HAWT!). And yes a doctor can tell from looking down there if the sex was mutual or not.

Shout outs to my reviewers. Thanks guys the first seven reviews are what made me write chapter three and four.

Kaouri18: yes, if there was nothing wrong with Hisoka, then I'd be worried. Apocalypse worried.

Demonyo: thanks XD

Laustic: I'm very happy to get that from you. Very honored!

Yaoi hunter:blushes: thank you so much! That comment went strait to my head and was practically responsible for chapter three! As for the lovey dovey hunt, I am going to have some lovely bits here and there but :shakes in fear: I've never actually written a sex scene. Lawd knows I've read enough of them I'm hoping that this one will turn out well. Well not in this chapter… in coming chapters :sweat drop:

Fra:pumps fist in air: I am so glad that you found this a little scary. I was worried that people might think it was just ALL angst all the time… which it pretty much is but I wanted to have some scary in there too!

Amanda: thanks!

SilenceinLight: Weeeeee! Thank you so much:Fan's oversized head: And yes to what you hoped for but that is gonna be much later I think. This story has a mind of it's own and even though I've got the outline right here. Certain parts just want to be written. o0 Also thought you should know that chapter 4 is thanks to you. I was all happy when I read your comment and then I wrote one of my fave chapters!

I am Zombie, Reviews brains Give me BRAINS!


Watari had given Hisoka a sedative so they could work with what they knew so far and not have to worry about Hisoka moving about.

Tatsumi wouldn't tell anyone but he also placed a shadow bind on the boy so that he wouldn't be able to leave the infirmary. They were still cautious and realizing this was Muraki's handiwork, they had every right to be.

"So he brain washed him?" Konoe sat at his desk. They were there very late but these were special circumstances.

"That certainly is one of the possibilities. Believe it or not I still have some tests I want to run." Watari sipped his chamomile tea in dire need of its soothing qualities. His eyes wandered back to where Tsuzuki was sitting in silence. The poor man was hunched over the coffee table his tea before him cold and forgotten.

"Are you alright Tsuzuki?" The violet-eyed man looked up. His eyes spoke volumes, he nodded.

"Yeah… I'm just disappointed Hisoka has to go through this shit again. Muraki…" he paused and clenched his fist. "Why did Hisoka have to get dragged into this again, it's not him Muraki wants."

"Tsuzuki, Muraki is trying to get you upset. He knows how easy it is and he is probably hoping you will go to him so that Hisoka will remain unharmed." Watari offered setting down his quickly cooling cup. Tatsumi shook his head.

"I don't think so Watari… while this may be one of his motives. The fact that Hisoka is relatively unharmed provides a worthy clue. You said it yourself, there were signs of intercourse not rape. I think Muraki thinks that he has given Tsuzuki a gift. Like a box of chocolates, or a bouquet. The man is just too complex."

"What I want to know is how do we fix this? How are you thinking of handling this?" Konoe asked looking up from the coffee he had just refilled.

"Well hopefully after I run some more tests we will have some answers. The way I see it there are three possibilities Hisoka was brain washed, Hisoka is hypnotized or Hisoka is possessed."

"That's all?" Tsuzuki asked sarcastically.

"Tsuzuki why don't you go home and get some rest? Have you slept at all since he went missing?"

"I know, I will. But I'm not going home. I just can't bring myself to leave his side right now. I'll stay in the infirmary."

Line line line line line line line line line line line line line line line

Hisoka could feel Tsuzuki in the bed next to him. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch him. Hold the beautiful shinigami in his arms and breath in that wonderful chocolaty scent. But more than anything, he wanted to be held. He missed Muraki. But only because he missed being shown physical affection. Even if it was meaningless and shallow.

He longed to curl up next to his new master, but his arms were sluggish and he was so tired. Yet he couldn't sleep.

The last words He had shared with Muraki drifted into his brain.

He and Muraki were sitting in the fragrant garden filled with roses. It was bright out and Hisoka was excited to return to Tsuzuki but at the same time extremely frightened. Muraki had dressed him in the silver white kimono with care. Lovingly pulling his arms through the sleeves and straitening the fabric.

He sat now on Muraki's lap while the silver man brushed a shine onto his blonde locks.

Hisoka's eyes were puffy from crying, he held the cold damp wash-clothe Muraki had provided to ease the puffiness. Muraki said that he wanted his gift in perfect order.

Muraki had admitted that Tsuzuki would not care for his heart as Muraki had. The words ran over and over in his head.

He can't love you, he cares for you but it's not love. 'He wants to but it's impossible to love something so used and worn.' Another tear slid down Hisoka's cheek.

"You will belong to Tsuzuki now. However, you will always deep down belong to me. And when the day comes that Tsuzuki will discard you, and he will my pet. I will be there. To pick up the pieces. You are and will always remain my property, its just you are on loan to Tsuzuki." He turned the boy to face him. Hisoka broughtthe back of his hand up to his eyes as tears began to well again.

"You are so beautiful when you cry."

"Thank you Muraki Sama."

"Now listen to me. He doesn't hate you; he is just shy, and noble. So if you remember what I taught you with your empathy and be forward with him you will be able to make him happy. And if he is happy he won't discard you. I want to give this chance to you, you are my doll and deserving." Muraki set down the brush.

Hisoka 's tears slipped down his face. Muraki saw this and held his doll closer, crooning softly into his ear.

"You know my feelings for Tsuzuki, he can not return them because he has forgotten what love is. That's why I need you to remind him what love is. He can never truly love you but your love for him will be example enough. And when he is ready for me, and he discards you, you can both return to me. You know you may not be of much use to me but I will care for you as long as I can." Hisoka wrapped his arms around Muraki's neck.

"Thank you master." He sniffled into Muraki's shoulder. "I hope I will make you proud." Muraki's face twisted into an evil grin over the boy's shoulder.

Hisoka had realized, Muraki had shown him what love was. He had never understood that, on that night so many years ago he was trying to show Hisoka then under that sakura tree. And when he placed that curse on him so that he would die. He was only trying to help.

He knew I had to escape from my parents and that was the only way to get me out of that house. He had said.

When my parents would not relinquish their hold over me, he had to let me die, because he knew I would rather die than go back to there.

Why hadn't I ever seen it? Muraki was the first one to truly love me. Tsuzuki did too but his was a different kind of love not like the passionate kind Muraki had once had for Hisoka.

Hisoka had blown his chance with Muraki when he denied the man the first few weeks of being a shinigami.

And then Tsuzuki had caught Muraki's eye, once he thought me a lost cause. Now he was in that passionate love with Tsuzuki and Hisoka was no longer needed… or wanted. Muraki still loved his doll, but not in the way that he once had. Not since now he had been broken. Some parts Muraki was unable to fix.

Hisoka had failed him. He had never known how much he owed the man until now. The thought of hurting him as Hisoka had, made the doll want to cry.

But Hisoka found love in Tsuzuki. He didn't understand why. And maybe it wasn't love per se, as he could never show it like Muraki. But there was a fierce blaze in Hisoka's heart and it was fueled by Tsuzuki, having lost Muraki's love he had decided that he would not give up on Tsuzuki, He would not abandon him as he had done Muraki.

Renewed with the memories of his determination, Hisoka's energy seemed to return to him. Finally Hisoka made it across the room to the other bed.

'Be forward with him, and you will be able to make him happy.'

He knew what Muraki had meant, and Hisoka had every intention of following through. Muraki may be his home but he loved Tsuzuki and wanted nothing more than for him to be happy. He reached the bed and lifted the comforter, slowly settling in beside his partner.

Hisoka knew that Tsuzuki was a very heavy sleeper, but that could work to his benefit. He ran his hand over the smooth abdomen, surprisingly fit for a man who ate so many sweets.

When he felt a pert nipple, he teased it until Tsuzuki shifted and his breathing became a little ragged.

Slowly he dragged his hand down, further and further to the waste band of his pajama pants and then the boxers.

Hisoka's own heart raced as he felt the trail that led to his goal. When he finally reached it he placed feather light touches over its velvet. He was surprised to find it bigger than Muraki's.

Slowly he began to bring it to life. His delicate hands ran over the smooth flesh. Holding it lightly in his palm, knuckles glancing over Tsuzuki's scrotum. One pump of his wrist and a loud earthy moan erupted from Tsuzuki's chest. Hisoka's own breathing sped up at the sheer excitement.

He knew that Tsuzuki was dreaming as his eyes darted back and forth under their lids. So Hisoka grew a little more daring and pumped it normally, the way he would himself if he were getting off in the shower. The word that erupted from the man's throat made Hisoka want to jump for joy.

"His…Oh… ka" the breathy name gave him hope that Muraki was wrong and that Tsuzuki could indeed love him.

He grasped a little harder and pumped again. This time however Tsuzuki's eyes shot open. He looked about wildly until he saw Hisoka on his side laying against him Hisoka's hand pushed past his pants line. He looked dazedly down at him, then it dawned what exactly was going on and he shot out of bed.

All Hisoka could sense was fear. ' Why was he afraid of me? '

"Hisoka! What the hell do you think you are doing?" Tsuzuki walked over and switched on the lights. Never taking his eyes off the boy.

"I just… I just wanted to make you happy?"

"How do you think that THAT would make me happy?" Tsuzuki asked incredulously. He watched as the boy looked down and hugged his knees to himself. He began softly crying.

"Because of what you were dreaming" Hisoka cried out softly. Tsuzuki gasped, he had been dreaming of Hisoka hadn't he. And it was a rather intimate dream. Tsuzuki's cheeks flushed, but then he shook himself out of it. He slowly made his way back to the now weeping boy.

"Hisoka, don't cry. It's ok, It's just don't do that again." Hisoka looked up at that with troubled eyes. The hospital gown hanging loosely off his shoulder he was a beautiful sight.

Tsuzuki wanted nothing more than to give the boy what he wished. But he doubted highly that this was truly what he wished for.

"But why?"

"Why.. huh?"

"You liked it right?" Hisoka asked warily.

"Hisoka… It is not your choice to do these things. It is because Muraki some how got you to do them."

"THAT'S NOT TRUE" Hisoka shouted clasping his hands to his ears and shaking his head. Tsuzuki went and sat beside Hisoka.

"You know I care about you right?" The teary eyed Hisoka nodded. "So then let's wait to decide if we want to press a relationship further after we get this all sorted out. After we get you back to normal."

"But no! I am fixed now. I was broken before. I was afraid of your touch, of anyone's touch. And the thought of loving someone physically made me ill. Muraki fixed that he took my fear away." Tsuzuki grabbed his wrist.

"No Hisoka. He was the one to give you that fear and he was the one to do nothing more than put a dirty band-aid on it. He never fixed it, he only made it feel a little better so that more harm could be inflicted." Tsuzuki shook his head at how much their roles had changed. It was usually Hisoka who was level headed and Tsuzuki hoping for emotional validation. He felt ashamed at the thought.

Hisoka watched Tsuzuki holding his wrist. His tone, his voice changed.

"I know. I know that it's not… not really fixed. But isn't this better? I know you want at least some part of me. I've known it since the night I passed out in your bed from too much sake. And now… I'm not afraid to give it to you. I so wanted to give in to you but… I just…couldn't. And when you see... When you finally see who… what I am…" Hisoka let out a shaky sigh. Stopping himself from that line of thought.

"Now I can give you what you want. If only you would let me." Hisoka's tear stained face lifted to gaze at Tsuzuki. He was taken aback.

"No Hisoka, Its true I have feelings for you but acting on them now would only bring you pain. I don't think you understand love right now. Infact I'm not sure you ever did. Let's just wait alright?" Hisoka's eyes let loose a few more tears as he stood to return to his bed. But Tsuzuki's hold on his wrist wouldn't give. Instead Tsuzuki pulled him back into a warm embrace.

Tsuzuki gathered up Hisoka in his arms and lap and just held him, Tsuzuki's back against the headboard. Realizing that this was what the boy wanted. Needed.

Soon he could feel the tell tale breaths of sleep from his partner.

He knew now that this department alone could not handle this matter anymore. He would have to call in the Calvary. I hope Watari will forgive me.