Disclaimer: Davy Jones sailed away with the part that says Marvel own the characters from X-Men: Evolution, and any other Marvel characters. The part that says I own Raven, Rachel, Serena, Lightning, and the DPD is floating on a piece of driftwood.

A/N: This story is dedicated to everyone who ever asked me if I planned on doing the sequels! Which is way too many to mention here!

WARNING: This is the scene… beware.

And now without further ado, Raven and Lightning present. . .

Mutants of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.

Scene 9: Happily Ever After… Sort of…

Scott paces in front of the cast members. "It's come to my attention that a few of you think my self-help tapes are just about my personal issues. I am here to explain that is not the case."

The blank stares coming from the cast prompt Jean to try and help. "What Scott means is: he is not afraid of bunnies, heights, clowns, or chickens."

"Thank you, Jean," Scott says.

Jubilee raises her hand, "So, that means he is afraid of teenage girls, right?"

The teenaged girls, minus Jean, start giggling.

"No! I'm just afraid of Raven!" he whines.

"As well you should be," Lightning says, suddenly appearing behind him. "Take it from me. I have a healthy fear of her myself."

Raven glares at her fiancé. "Right…"

"What? You can be a little scary sometimes," he says nonchalantly.

"A little scary? That's like telling me the Eiffel Tower is a little sculpture…" Raven snaps.

Evan groans. "Great… She's already in a bad mood…" He holds up a box of pizza. "Um, Raven, I hide this from Fred for you!"

She raises her eyebrow at Evan. "Suck up," she says, but takes the box after reading his mind to make sure he didn't poison or spit in it. Lightning grabs the first slice. "Lawr!" she whines.

"What? I'm hungry – and a little cayenne peppered out," he says with his mouth full.

She glares at him and covers the rest of the small pizza in her favorite spice. "You're always hungry!"

"I have a high metabolism!" he whines.

"So much for Ev's peace offering," Kitty sighs as she watches the directors fight.

"Yeah, but have ya eveh noticed that they're always in a betteh mood afteh they fight?" Rogue comments.

"Kind of like you and Gambit," Kitty grins at her.

Rogue glares at her.

The fight ends with most of the pizza being stuffed down Lightning's throat by Raven's powers and Lightning drinking a ten gallon container of Kool-Aid. (1) Raven smugly watches while she eats the last slice. "Happy now?" she asks.

He coughs. "Yeah… but that burnt! You really put that much on normally?"

She nods. "I just don't normally make you eat it."

"Thank you!"

She grins, "Let's get this show started. Lights! Camera! Action!" The squirrels stand to attention, making Gambit nervous.

Gambit and Rogue are standing on the deck. He looks at the water and turns to her. "It'll be back. We've got to get off t'e ship."

"There's no boats," Rogue informs him.

They look at the wrecked life boats forlornly. A keg of powder rolls across the deck, sparking the flame of an idea in Remy's brain. He walks towards the crew. "Pull t'e grates. Get all t'e gunpowder onto t'e net in t'e cargo hold!" Rogue follows him. He grabs a gun from a Random Pirate Extra and hands it to her. "Whatever you do, don't miss."

"As soon as you're cleah," she answers. Their eyes are locked together for a moment. In that moment, they both seem to forget about the play. Then, just as suddenly, they both turn around and go their separate ways.

The crew works hard following Gambit's orders, but they run into a problem. A Random Pirate Extra calls up, "we're short-stocked on gunpowder! Six barrels!"

"Hurry up!" another Random Pirate Extra calls as Logan goes to find Remy.

He meets Remy as the Cajun comes down the stairs. "There's only half a dozen kegs of powder, bub!"

"T'en load t'e rum," Remy suggests.

The crew stops working and stares at Logan. He sighs, "aye, the rum, too!" Logan's face looks very pained, however. The crew starts working again among rather loud complaints. They load the barrels marked rum that are actually filled with tea.

"If I ask a legitimate question, will I get hurt?" Bobby tries.

"It depends on the question," Raven answers truthfully.

"Um… well, tea doesn't explode the way rum does… so…"

"No, but charged barrels do," she remarks.

"Oooh," the cast says.

"Why? Why must you all torment me so?" Scott shouts.

"Because it's fun?" Raven and Lightning answer.

"Ahhh!" he screams and huddles into a ball.

"Can we get back to the play now?" Raven says cheerfully. She loves to torment Scott.

Something swims beneath the waves towards the Black Pearl, but it is not Pyro. Pyro happens to be on the other side of the ship in the very last life boat. He is swiftly rowing away.

Rogue grabs a piece of wood and hands it to a Random Pirate Extra. "Step ta!" She looks up and notices Pyro's boat. "Oh, ya coward," she vehemently says under her breath. Her attention is diverted when the IAR Kraken reaches the ship because is causes the ship to shake violently.

Leech looks at Piotr and declares, "Not good!" They are both hanging onto the railing.

The fixed IAR Kraken thrusts its tentacles into the cannon holes – knocking the crew around and generally making a mess of the ship. It grabs a Random Pirate Extra and knocks him about.

"Haul away!" screams Remy.

"Heave!" Logan shouts. "Heave like you're being paid for it!"

"That'dbenice," Pietro declares. Everyone looks at him. "I'mjustsaying. We'realwaysdragged outhereto dotheseplays, andIhaven't seenadime…"

Everyone looks at Raven and Lightning. Raven rolls her eyes. "The contracts say you agree to do the plays for free."

"Iwantnewcontracts!" Pietro whines.

"I want you to shut up before you tick my girlfriend off," Lightning snaps.

"Sheesh, someone's in a bad mood," Toad says.


"Ouch, yo! That hurt!" Toad whines, rubbing the sore spot where Lightning's lightning bolt zapped him.

Raven raises an eyebrow at Lightning.

"What?" he asks.

"You are in a bad mood," she says.

"I was just thinking about the rest of the play and how bad of a mood you're going to be after that scene," he mutters.

She rolls her eyes. "Okay, anyone else wish to either complain about your contracts or Lawr's mood? No? Okay, back to work!"

Leech is riding on a giant wheel that resembles the kind that wakes the IAR Kraken. "Put your backs into it!"

Remy rides the giant net up. Toad and Lance press themselves against the wall, trying to hide from the ever twisting tentacles.

Johnny sits in his life boat. He watches the monster destroy his beloved ship. He looks at the island that is so close. He reaches for his compass and opens it. He does not look happy.

Back on the Pearl, Wolverine hangs onto a Random Pirate Extra who is caught in a tentacle. "I got ya! I got ya!"

"Don't let me go!" the RPE insists.

"I won't let ya go!" he says back, but his hands slip and the RPE is pulled out of his grasp.

"Shoot me!" he screams, but no one does.

Rogue looks up from loading the gun to see Remy riding the net. "Cleah?" she calls.

"Higher! Higher!" Gambit insists.

A tentacle wraps around the mast and crashes into the wheel. Fortunately, Forge has good timing, and the crew is able to move out of the way first. The net starts to fall, but catches on something. Lance and Toad climb out from beneath the deck. Lance is carrying an axe, but immediately hands it to Toad, against his better judgment. Luckily for everyone, the axe is another foil-lined cardboard one.

"Here! Come on!" Remy calls from the net. "Come and get Remy! He's over here! Come on!" He flails his arms around, trying to get the IAR Kraken's attention. It finally grabs the net, but his boot gets caught. He drops his sword. He pulls out his dagger and starts cutting the rope. Rogue aims the gun, but waits. "Shoot! Anna, shoot!"

She can't bring herself to shoot the barrels while he's still attached, even though the gun is full of blanks. Her waiting has a price. A tentacle grabs her ankle and pulls her back. She drops the gun and screams. Toad chops the tentacle off, saving her life. Well, technically, the tentacle has a built in system than makes it look like it was chopped off. That was Raven's idea, naturally. Rogue keeps screaming as she kicks her leg from its writhing grasp. She stands up and looks for the gun. She's not the first to reach it. A Random Pirate Extra grabs it and aims, but another tentacle grabs him and he drops the gun. She tries to climb the stairs to get the gun. Just as she reaches it, a boot stomps on it. She tries to pull it, but can't. She looks up. The boot belongs to Pyro. He looks so brilliant amid the chaos of the scene that Wanda's heart flutters and she sighs without meaning to.

St. John leans down and grabs the gun. He aims and fires the instant Remy is clear. Remy has charged the barrels and as a bullet zooms towards them in slow motion (obviously with the use of Raven's powers), they explode. The IAR Kraken screams and falls slowly back into the depths. Forge is in tears again.

Logan gets up and looks around. Leech comes out of his hiding place. Piotr and the IAR Parrot stand up. Logan and Leech walk to the railing. "Did we kill it?"

"No," Logan answers. "We just made it angry." He pushes away from the railing. "We're not out of this yet. Captain, orders!"

Pyro walks down the stairs. "Abandon ship. Into the longboat." He hands the gun to Logan.

Wolverine follows him. "St. John. The Pearl."

Sadly, Johnny replies, "she's only a ship, mate."

Rogue has heard their conversation. "He's right. We have ta head fer land."

"It's a lot of open water," Lance says.

"It's a lot of water," echoes Todd.

"We have to try," Remy declares. "We can get away as it takes down the Pearl."

Solemnly, Logan nods. "Abandon ship. Abandon ship or abandon hope."

The men start to work. Pyro takes a last longing look at the ship. Rogue eyes him with a mysterious look in her eyes.

"Ah can't do this," she whines.

"You kinda have to," Lightning says.

"But why?" Rogue whines.

"Because it's in the script," Raven insists. "Look, Rogue, you're not the only one who isn't looking forward to this part. Just do it and get it over with. Jean is going to help me secure Gambit. Apocalypse and Cain are going to handle Wanda. The squirrels have Pyro covered." She nods at the army of squirrels. The leader salutes. "Just get it over with. I'm sure Pyro doesn't want to do this part either, but it has to happen."

"You got that right, sheila. No offense, Rogue, but I've got my heart set on a different girl." He winks at Wanda.

Wanda groans. Apocalypse is holding one arm. The Juggernaut is holding the other.

"Remy don't understand," Gambit says.

"You don't want to," Lightning and Raven say. Scott screams again.

Rogue sighs in defeat and walks over to Pyro. "Thank you, Johnny."

With despair in his voice, he turns to look at her. "We're not free yet, love."

"Ya came back," she says. She smiles against her will. "Ah always knew ya were a good man." Begrudgingly, she takes a couple steps toward Pyro.

Remy's eyes narrow. He's suddenly not sure he likes where this scene is going.

Rogue and Pyro look in each other's eyes. She suddenly gulps and decides to get it over with. She leans in and kisses Pyro. Pyro kisses her back, also against his will.

Remy is on the rope helping to load the longboat but happens to see this. He wants to move. He wants to scream and shout and blow something up. Fortunately for the cast, Jean and Raven are holding him very still. Wanda's eyes are screaming murder, and her hands are glowing blue, but Apocalypse decides to knock her out with his powers. It was probably a good move.

Logan, who wants to tear Pyro apart right now, steps into Remy's view. "Prepare to cast off. There's no time to lose." The shock collar is the only thing keeping Logan in line at the moment. He growls under his breath. "Come on, Remy. Step to!" Slowly, ever so slowly, Remy feels his body moving down the ladder. He does not know how it is moving. The girls are very good with their powers. Logan climbs in after him.

Rogue's kiss pushes Pyro against the part of the ship where the life lines get tied up. She reaches down, and he hears the clinking of chains. He looks at her with both wonder and admiration. "It's afteh you, not the ship," she tells him. "It's not us. This is the only way, don't ya see?" She closes her eyes. "Ah'm not sorry."

He grins. "Pirate."

She walks away, leaving him chained to the ship. She climbs into the life boat.

Remy hears the words, "where's Johnny?" coming out of his mouth, but he's unsure how because he has forgotten everything except the desire to murder Pyro.

Rogue looks him in the eye and immediately feels about an inch tall. "He elected ta stay behind ta give us a chance." She mouths, "Ah'm sorry! It was in the script!"

Remy glares.

Everyone else looks up to the ship. Rogue can't look into Remy's broken face anymore. She turns toward Leech. "Go!"

They push off.

Pyro starts pulling against the chains and trying to get free while muttering, "bugger" over and over. He notices a broken lantern and uses his sword to grab it. He smashes it against the mast and pours the oil over his wrist. "Come on!" he shouts as he pulls against the chain one more time. The oil was a good idea. His hand starts to come out. "Just got it. Come on." Tentacles rise behind his back. He pulls his hand free and grins.

Wanda starts to wake up. She sees the IAR Kraken behind Johnny. She screams.

Raven whimpers. Lightning places a hand on her shoulder. "That's why there's an editing room, Rave."

She nods, still pouting.

Pyro notices that something is not right. He looks over his shoulder. The IAR Kraken roars – showing off its many teeth. It also covers Pyro in slime, thanks to Toad. His hat falls in front of his feet, also covered in Toad's slime. Pyro shivers and wipes the slime away from his mouth. "Not so bad," he lies. "Oh," he says, reaching down to grab his hat. He shakes it off and places it on his head. "Hello, beastie." Pulling out his sword, he runs toward the IAR Kraken and tries to stab it as its mouth closes around him. Wanda faints.

Everyone else watches as the IAR Kraken pulls the ship into the sea. This includes En Sabah Nur, who is watching through a looking glass. "St. John Allerdyce, our debt is settled." He closes the telescope.

Facade says, "the captain goes down with his ship."

Legion speaks up, "turns out not even St. John Allerdyce can best the devil."

"Open the chest," Apocalypse says suddenly. Nobody moves. "Open the chest! I need to see it!"

The chest is opened and he makes his way over to it. He lifts the lid. The chest is empty. "Damn you, St. John Allerdyce!" he shouts. Remy looks like he agrees.

The scene changes, and Pietro sits at Xavier's desk, glaring at the world because he's still upset. He is upset because he does not get any money or a picture on the Internet.

"The last of our ships has returned," Trask declares.

"Isthere anynews onthechest," mutters Pietro.

"None. But one of the ships did pick up a man adrift at sea." He holds up the pardon. "He had these."

Pietro takes it and opens it.

"I took the liberty of filling in my name," Scott states. Warren stands next to him, holding his elbow.

Pietro motions for Scott to come closer. Warren leaves. "Ifyou intendto claimthese, thenyoumust havesomething totrade. Doyouhave thecompass?"

Scott shakes his head. "Better." He drops a wet-looking sack on Pietro's desk. The sack moves. "The heart of Apocalypse."

Another scene change, and there are women everywhere holding candles in a river as the life boat floats by. Agatha Harkness holds a candle. Destiny holds a candle. X23 holds a candle. Amanda's mother holds a candle. Evan's mother holds a candle. Gabrielle Haller holds a candle. Jean's mother holds a candle. Jean's little sister holds a candle. Dorian's mother holds a candle. Callisto holds a candle. Cybelle holds a candle. Dr. Risman holds a candle. Viper holds a candle. Kitty's mother holds a candle.

Inside the cabin, Remy throws a knife at the table, pulls it out, and throws it again. He keeps imagining that the board is Pyro's head. He looks heartbroken.

Storm walks around with a tray of mugs filled with unsweetened tea. She offers one to Rogue, who turns away. "Against the cold… and the sorrow." Rogue takes a mug, but doesn't drink it. Storm moves on to Remy. "It's a shame. I know you're thinking that with the Pearl you could have captured the devil and set free your father's soul." Remy takes a mug. Storm moves on.

"Doesn't matter now," Remy's forlorn voice says. In fact, he feels like nothing matters now… except maybe killing Pyro. "The Pearl is gone, along with its captain." He has no idea where Pyro actually is. The IAR Kraken took him with it under the water. It has not resurfaced. What Remy does not know is the IAR Kraken is also a submarine, and Pyro is currently taking a nice shower to remove the slime.

"Aye," Logan says, "and already the world seems a bit less bright. Probably because he ain't starting a fire." Logan suddenly drops on the floor and starts twitching.

"Raven!" Lightning whines.

"What? He knows I don't like adlibbing! And I am using most of my concentration trying to keep my father from blowing the set up!"

Lightning smacks his head into his hand. "Can you at least stop pressing the button now?"

"I guess," she sighs and lets go.

Logan twitches a few more times before standing up with a, "s..so..sorry, R..Raven…"

"Apology accepted; get on with the play!" she shouts.

"He fooled us all right till the end," Logan declares, "but I guess that honest streak finally won out."

Rogue looks very uncomfortable.

Logan raises his mug of tea. "To St. John Allerdyce!"

Toad raises his glass, "never another like Captain St. John."

"He was a gentleman of fortune, he was," Lance states.

"He was a good man," Rogue says through gritted teeth.

Remy says nothing, but takes a sip. Rogue can't. Remy looks over at her. She looks like she's about to cry. He doesn't know how to feel or what to say, but the script insists he say, "If there was anything to be done to bring him back…" He stands up, "Anna."

"Would you do it?" Storm asks suddenly. "Hm? What would you… hm? What would any of you be willing to do, hm? Would you sail to the ends of the Earth and beyond to fetch back witty Johnny and him precious Pearl?"

Logan is the first to answer, "aye." Mostly, this is because he wants to tear him apart for kissing Rogue.

Lance stands up, "aye."

Toad stands up, "aye."

The IAR parrot squawks, "aye."

Rogue nods, "yes."

Remy nods, "aye." This is also for the same reason as Logan.

Storm grins evilly. "All right. But if you go and brave the weird and haunted shores at world's end… then you will need a captain who knows those waters."

A boot steps down onto the top stair, followed by another and another. Slowly, Magneto walks down the stairs. "So tell me, what's become of my ship?" The undead IAR monkey jumps onto his shoulder. He bites an apple and starts laughing.

The scene changes back to the Pelegosta island. The tribe dances as Rahne sits on the throne holding a very large bone.

"And cut!" Raven says, "finally!"

"It's over?" Lightning asks.


Most of the cast starts cheering. Rogue jumps up and starts running to the bathroom. Raven stops her and grabs the power inhibitor. Rogue would be more upset to lose it if she didn't need to throw up so badly.

Remy glares at his future, from-another-dimension daughter. "Where… is… he?"

"Behind the army of squirrels," Raven squeaks. She actually looks frightened.

"T'ose squirrels don't stand a chance," Remy growls.

Pyro's eyes grow huge. "Now, now, Gambit… it was in the bloody script!"

"You… will… die!"

"I didn't want to kiss her! I just want to kiss Wanda!" Johnny screams as the squirrels start defending him against the onslaught of charged cards and bo-staff attacks.

Raven winces, "Ooo, that looks painful." A squirrel flies by her. She catches it and sets it down safely.

Lightning grabs her, and moves her out of the way of the debree. "And now I see your point about waiting until we're married…"

Raven winces in his arms. "Totally…"

Jean's eyes are also wide with fright. "I, um, see where you got your temper, Raven."

"I actually have my mother's temper," Raven says, wincing. "Papa rarely gets mad, but when he does… Watch out for the… set… We're going to need that… eventually…"

"Raven," Gambit says.

"Oui, Papa?"

"Shut… up…"

"Oui, Papa."

Lightning holds her tightly, "I need to get you out of here. I'm going to go a little crazy if I don't get you out of here…"

"Okay!" she agrees. "Maybe things will go better next time…" They leave.

The door bursts open and the DPD file in. "Freeze, DPD!" Manning shouts.

Manning gets hit on the head with a flying squirrel that is carrying a flame thrower.

"I don't even want to know!" He says, turning around and leaving. The other DPD officers file out after him.

"AAAAAHHHHH!" Pyro screams.

To be continued. . .


(1) I do not own Kool-Aid. Thank you.

Person who loves this fic, Aww, thank you! I'm glad I could make your day. I do try to acknowledge my reviewers. As for Gambit forgiving Pyro… I think it's going to take some time…

Wow… I can't believe I wrote this chapter in one sitting… The last few scenes were shorter than most. Okay, here is the deal: Due to Pyro's health, Remy's temper, Rogue's stomach, the length it takes to write the MOTC chapters, and me being tired of pirates (I know, how can I be tired of pirates, right?)… I will not be writing MOTC 3 next… I need a pirate break… So the next installment of "Raven and Lightning present" will be Labyrinth! Thank you all. I hope you've enjoyed the ride!