Well, I decided to try my hand at a Sonic fic. Since my specialty seems to be humor, that's what this is! This fic, follows the life of Sonic the Hedgehog as he goes through the worst day off his life. Enjoy!
P.S. I have nothing at all against Sonic. Actually, he's one of my favorite characters!
Turn of Unfortunate Events
A very tired, very depressed, very bruised looking Sonic staggered along a small hallway, in a huge, yet safe mansion. The hall was poorly lit, smelled strange, and the old and decrepit wooden floor creaked as he steeped upon them, thought the blue hedgehog didn't seem to care.
Moonlight shone through broken windows as he walked through the abandoned environment he had made his way into. Thoughts of the past twenty-four hours surged through his mind before he finally found a half-decent place to rest, and Sonic threw his back against the wall.
"Man..." Was all the blue blur could utter out before he tiredly slummed from the wall to the ground. "If I've ever had a bad day before... this one definitely takes the cake..." He said before his mind trailed off to a flashback.
Flashback (Most of this story's a flashback.)
Happy, energetic, and lively, Sonic skipped merrily through a peaceful grassy plain as he blissfully hummed a song. The warm glow of the morning sun was comforting as the light glistened upon the dew covered grass.
"Ahh... what an AWESOME morning!" Sonic said in very jolly spirits, "and with Eggman arrested yesterday for attempted murder on a family of raccoons; I have this entire day to myself! Nothing can possibly ruin this day!" the hedgehog shouted to the heavens.
Completely lost in his joy and the tranquility of the morning, the blue hedgehog was totally unprepared for what was about to happen.
"Yo, Sonic! Heads up!" Came a shout from behind.
"Wha - " Sonic started and turned around right before a football beamed him on the side of his face. The sudden, very surprising impact from the football forced Sonic off his feet and he fell and hit the ground. Hard.
Sonic groaned painfully as he heard the sound of approaching footsteps.
"Sorry about that, Sonic, " The hedgehog heard Knuckles' voice say before the echidna helped Sonic back to his feet.
Sonic noticed Knuckles was wearing a football helmet, and the rest of the football-relaated gear, but was to angry to care. He rubbed his head; picked up the football; and then snapped.
"Knuckles, where the heck did this come from!?" Sonic shouted and pointed at the assassin football.
"Uh, Sonic?" Knuckles started and seemed a little worried. "Your going to want to put that football - "
"Here I am, enjoying a completely peaceful morning, then you show up out of nowhere and try to kill me with a football!" He shouted, wrapped in anger.
The ground started rumbling as Knuckles looked behind him then back at Sonic. "Sonic, seriously! Drop the ball and - " He tried to warn the our blue hero but Sonic continued ranting.
"I mean, for once, Eggman is actually arrested for everything he does instead of him floating off somewhere, and I finally have a day off, then you do..." His voice trailed off as he noticed Knuckles running away.
"Hey, get back here! I'm done with - " Sonic couldn't finish his sentence since a group of heavily muscled college football players all jumped the furry at once.
Knuckles, at a safe distance, simply watched and shook his head. "I tried to warn him..." the red echidna said, "Oh well, he'll be okay. One less show-off to deal with." He said and pulled out a piece of paper with the names, Sonic, Shadow, Jet and Storm on it. The names Storm and Jet were already crossed out as Knuckles pulled out a pencil and crossed out Sonic's name.
"I wonder what Shadow's up to?" He said with a psychotic grin.
Two hours later, Sonic woke up in Station Squares Hospital with bandages wrapped all around him.
"What? How did I get here?" He wondered aloud and made a few quick looks around him. Right before Sonic tried to get up, he heard a girly squeal he knew and feared.
"Oh no... NO! NOT HER! ANYTHING BUT HER!" Sonic shouted hysterically before non other than Amy Rose ran up to him and gave him a hug that nearly crushed his lungs.
"Oh Sonic! I was so worried about you!" She shouted before covering him in kisses.
"NO! SOMEBODY OUT THERE, HELP ME!" He shouted and tried to break free from Amy, but everyone else at the hospital ignored him.
"I'm so glad to see your okay, Sonic!" She said and finally released the hedgehog as he gasped for air. "I found you unconscious at the park about two hours ago and brought you here." She said and smiled sweetly at him.
Sonic looked confused until he remember what had happened at the park. "Oh... well then, thanks..." He said but then immediately regretted those words.
"Oh Sonic! That's one of the sweetest things you've ever said to me!" She said and trapped him in another hug.
Sonic started struggling. "What; thanks? That's it! I'm outta here!" He said one of his catches phrases from Heroes; broke free from Amy; then escaped. By leaping out of the nearest window.
A few seconds later after he collided with the ground; Sonic groaned again and finally sat up. "Okay... not one of my best ideas..." He said and got up unsteadily.
"SONIC! Wait there! I'll be right down!" He heard Amy shout two stories above.
Sonic made a few panicked glances around him as he noticed he was surrounded by thick thorny bushes. "She's nuts! I have to get away somehow..." Sonic looked at the thorn bushes, and sighed "No other choice..." He said and headed straight into one. Sonic cringed in pain as the bushes thorns painfully tore away through his fur and at his skin.
After that dreadful experience was though, Sonic was finally away from Amy.
"Crap! What do I have to do to get you to leave me alone!?" Sonic shouted through frustration.
"You could marry me..." She said in lower tone and shuffled a foot through the dirt.
"Your still nuts!" Sonic said and dashed off into the city, not paying attention where he was going. He ran for a short while before he turned around while still running to see if Amy followed him. Luckily for him, she was no where to be seen.
Sonic let out a sigh of relief. "Whew... lost her... that was - AHH!" He shouted as a car charged straight for him. He was so worried about Amy catching him, he didn't notice he ran into the middle of the street. The car hit the furry head on and somehow sent him flying several miles away.
A dark and red figure laughed silently from inside the car. "Mission Accomplished." grinned Shadow as he rolled down the window. "Take that, faker!" He shouted and shook a fist threateningly at the disappearing figure that was Sonic as the blue hedgehog sailed along.
Shadow rested his back against the drivers seat. "Ah... what a great day this has been... and it's only noon..." the dark hedgehog said and rested some more before hearing a car honk at him.
"What the hell?" He said and looked out the window and saw that Knuckles was in a blue punch buggy right next to him.
Knuckles revved up the engine before throwing Shadow a challenging smirk.
Shadow glanced up at the traffic light. It was still red.
"So you wanna race, huh?" Shadow said and revved up the engine to his red sports car as well.
The moment the light turned green; both cars drove off at top speed. They zoomed off neck and neck; Knuckles crashing into a fire hydrant and Shadow hitting a Police car in less than two seconds of starting.
"Oh crap..." Shadow said before pulling out the green Chaos Emerald.
"CHAOS CONTROL!" Shadow roared then warped away in green flash; leaving Knuckles to take the blame.
The Police officer tapped a foot impatiently.
"Uh... monkeys frm outer space! They did it all!" Knuckles shouted before he started rapidly climbing up a building to escape.
Meanwhile, Sonic remained soaring through the air as he flew above Mystic Ruins. Sailing so long he decided to kill time by singing. "We were sailing alloooong... at moonlight bay..."
After noticing he was finally starting to descend, Sonic glanced down; somehow still conscious even after the collision with the car. "Water!" He shouted in relief as was sailing towards it. "I'm saved!... wait... I CAN'T SWIM!" Sonic remembered and started flailing around frantically.
Despite all hopeless flailing in mid-air, Sonic landed face first on the ground only inches away from the small pond.
A few moments after his unfortunate landing, the hedgehog still managed to get up, despite the pain. Sonic wept to himself for quite a moment, finally coming to his senses and then noticing where he was, as saw a building that he thought would be his salvation.
"YES! Tails' Workshop! The only place I CAN'T get hurt!" Sonic said in an exited, overjoyed manner. "Sanctuary, here I come!" he said and immediately dashed off. Straight into a tree.
Four seconds later, Sonic skidded to a stop in front of Tails' door, and raised a hand, but as he prepared to knock, the door flung open and slammed into the hedgehog.
"I gotta show Sonic this!" Tails shouted excitedly while holding a small device in his hand as fox furry rushed out.
Sonic groaned, remaining completely still, then crumbled to the ground.
Hearing the cry of anguish, Tails spun around and noticed the ailed blue hedgehog on the floor. "Oops..." Tails immediately helped Sonic back to his feet. "Sorry, Sonic... I didn't know you were there.."
"No problem. After this morning, I should be used to pain." Sonic said calmly and scretched to loosen his body out. Trying to ignore the pain in the multiple places he had been hurt.
Tails didn't seem to care, "Anyway, Sonic! Check this out!" the fox said excitedly again before handing the machine to Sonic.
"Another invention, huh?" Sonic guessed and examined it, though he had no idea what it was. "What is it?"
"It's a advanced genetic tracking device," Tails proclaimed proudly. "I can use it too track ANYTHING! Well, almost anything..." Tails admitted.
"Huh.. Sounds cool! Maybe I could use this to tell when Amy's nearby. Then I could be outta there before she knows it!" Sonic snickered.
Tail's seemed confused, but then looked at Sonic and noticed the many bruises and now small bandages somehow that managed to get on Sonic. "Hey Sonic, what happened to you?" Tails asked in his normal high-pitched voice which contained hints of concern. "Eggman attack?" he guessed.
"Nah, Eggman's not capable of causing this." Sonic stated, thinking of Eggman's 'killer machine's' as nothing more that harmless toys. "Anyway, what are you planning to do with this? The emeralds are all locked away by GUN right now..'cept for the one Shadow carries. And -." Sonic and Tail's conversation was cut off by a loud explosion, that knocked both furries off their feet.
Sure enough, another ridiculous-looking machine flew into view being drove by non other than Eggman. The mad scientist laughed while sloppily eating a few hundred hotdogs.
"Ho ho ho - "
"You're not Santa Claus, Egghead, so quit using that stupid laugh, and go back to using that other stupid laugh!" Sonic shouted furiously after getting up. "Besides, I thought you were arrested!"
Eggman stopped suddenly and cleared his throat. "Mwuhahah! Sonic, you fell right into my trap!" the so-called "scientist" said gleefully. His red lab coat stained with mustard.
"A trap?" Tails' questioned and stood up, "You didn't set a trap, you snuck up on us and blasted us from behind while we weren't looking!" Tails shouted, just as angry as Sonic now.
"Exactly my little foxy-friend! That's why my trap was so perfect!" Declared the man with an IQ over 500.
Tails sputtered a few rage fueled, incoherent words at what little since the doctor made.
"Enough of your rage fueled, incoherent babble!" Eggman shouted, now infuriated for some reason or another reason as he pointed a hotdog towards them. "Sonic! Tails! Prepare to meet your maker!"
Sonic threw a small pebble at the machine and it immediately exploded after merely tapping it.
"Get's easier every time..." Sonic sighed, and shook his head, grinning. "Looks like my luck's finally turned around!" Sonic declared and held a fist in front of him triumphantly.
As most of the mechanic parts crumbled to the ground, Eggman, whom for once didn't have a spare floating machine to get away with, started to fall from the cloud of smoke towards the ground.
Tails' eyes widened in shock. "SONIC! If he hits the ground, he'll destroy Mystic Ruins in a MASSIVE earthquake!" the fox exclaimed feeling very panicked.
"It's too late to stop him! Quick, Tails! Take to the sky!" Sonic shouted, just as fearful of the impending doom.
Tails quickly took to the air with both of his tail's rotating rapidly, shortly followed by Sonic taking hold of Tail's hands as they both became safely airborne.
Eggman wailed in a slow, mournful voice, right before he hit the ground. Belly-first.
The tremendous impact from Eggman's enormous girth created massive shock waves all throughout the ground of Mystic Ruins, as the area began to shake very violently.
Then, Eggman began to emit a fiercely bright after landing on his newest inventions, the Eggboomers, he had for some reason kept in his pocket. Thereafter, the explosion slowly began to engulf the entire ruins. Which was mistaken by our heros.
"Sonic! What's happening?!" Tails shouted over the roar of the explosion.
"It's Eggman's fatness! It's too powerful!" Sonic replied in a shout before the explosion engulfed them both.
If you've liked this so far, leave a review and tell it like it is! Thanks for reading, and I'll get the next chapter up when I have the time.