Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. You know who does; heck I don't even own the idea for this.

Chapter 3: Alanna of Trebond and Olau and all those other places.

1. She's a slut.

2. She married a guy that was seven years older then her. (Now I ain't sayin'

she a gold digger, but she ain't messin' with no broke...um, sorry?)

3. She slept with her knight master, on multiple occasions

4. She slept with a guy that was fourteen years her senior.

5. Afore mentioned man ended making them break it off because she could use magic. One of them's got issues.

6. She named her cat Faithful. Who does that?

7. She never cried over her father's death. I mean come on how heartless can a person be.

8. She actually almost consented to marrying Jon.

9. She's was scared of using magic. Who would be scared of using only the coolest power in the world?

10. She throw's up at the sight of water, yet she lives right next to the sea. Need I say more.

11. She almost killed herself trying to save Prince Prick

12. She almost fainted when she got her ears pierced. I mean come on it barely even hurts. And she's a knight. Don't knights need to be able to

withstand pain?

13. In order to beat Alex in the final battle she had to stoop to using hand-to-hand combat while using swords.

14. She's queen of the sluts.

15. She needs Anger Management

16. She probably also needs to go to an AA meeting.

And here's a skit of Alanna going to see the psych doctor.

Alanna lying on couch is Psych doctor's office: Grrrr

Psych Doc. (we will call him PD): Now how does that make you feeeellll?

Alanna shriekingP: Feel, how does that make me FEEL. jumps up with random sword in hand that was pulled out of thin air and chops PD's head off

PD: Ahhhhhh, I'm dead. walks from room with head in hands

Prince Prick who somehow jumps into PD's psych room: NO Alanna has killed my beloved PD…crickets …um I mean…I swear I am not bi.

Alanna war cry chops Jon into little pieces

PD2: Now how does that make you feel.

Alanna: War cry

17. She didn't let Prince Prick die when she had the chance. Shame, really


AN: Hey thank you all for updating, and as you can see, I changed my mind about Thayet being second. And in case you guys have npt figured this out yet; most of these jokes are not my opinion, all I'm doing is making fun of teh characters. Granted I do think Jon is Prince of the Pricks though.