"I really don't think this will be legal Li'l Albatross." Mal told the young girl standing before him with her arm hooked around the large grumpy merc.
"Will be legal enough once the documents are signed." She responded.
"Mrs. Cobb, you sure 'bout this?" He asked Jayne's mother standing to the side and behind the couple.
There was the distinct sound of a shotgun being cocked. Mrs. Cobb raised an eyebrow.
"Guess that's my answer." Mal said as he rolled his eyes.
"Do you Jayne Cobb take crazy and not all there little girl, to love, honour and obey and have your testicles removed if you hurt her, for as long as you both shall live?" Came the first question from the officiating captain.
"Yeah, guess I do Mal." There was a grunt as River elbowed him. "I mean, yeah Mal course I do." He said theatrically, he finished with a pointed glare at River.
"Fine, River Tam, do you take this grumpy, dirty ape to love honour and obey and hopefully torture for as long as you both shall live."
"I do captain." Came the sweet response and the sound of a sniffle from Mrs. Cobb and Kaylee.
"Riiigght, one last time, does anyone have any reason these two can't get married?" There was the sound of the shot gun being cocked again.
"Fine, fine," Mal hurried quickly, "then I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now kiss the bride, I wish you wouldn't though." River jumped on Jayne kissing him passionately.
"Jayne would you please lower the gun, I done what you asked!" Came the exasperated plea from the Captain.