It was a cool night in New York City. No one was about except for everyone's favorite teen turtles, the TMNT!

Leonardo, the leader who is the lightest shade of green, wears a blue bandanna and who is totally wicked hawt, was leading the midnight training run. Raphael, the "secret weapon", is the darkest shade as well as personality, wears a red bandanna and is the team's smex, was close behind. Michelangelo and Donatello were neck in neck. Mikey's the team's orange wearing goofball, and Don is the purple wearing resident genius (AN – I totally 3 him!11!).

Everything was going well until Leo received a call on his shellcell.

"Hello? Leo here."

"Leo, it's April."

"Hey April! What's the haps?"

"I have something important to tell you. Splinter's dead."

"What?! How could this happen?"

"I don't know. I came to visit and just as I walked in, he dropped dead."

Just as April finished telling her elaborate story of how Splinter died, Leo's shellcell went dead (AN – Just like Splinter, haha!).

Leo dropped to his knees in a classic display of teen angst.

"Oh woe is us dear bros. Our sensei, father, is dead. How will we go on?"

"Aw shell!", exclaimed the three forlorn teen turtles.

"Well I guess we should go bury him. Let's go to April's farmhouse!", stated the purple wearing genius.

"Fkin, fk, fk!", said the hot tempered, sexy, drool-worthy turtle in red.

"Dudes, death makes me hungry. Anybody down for some peanut butter and crack pizzas?" professed the happy guy.

"Yeah! Turtle Power! Go Green Machine! It's Ninja Time!", said all four turtle brothers.

They waited until morning and drove to April's farmhouse. The funeral was touching, the burial was quick, and now they were currently watching Naruto and discussing how much better they were than him. All of a sudden, a portal opened and out came a female ninja turtle. She had long blond hair with large shell covered breasts and wielded all the weapons the guys did. Twin katanas and a bo stick were strapped to her back while on her belt, she carried twin sais and a pair of numchuks.

"Hello", she said. "My name is Artemisia. I am from an alternate universe and I've come here to your universe to provide a chance for romance to any of you lucky hot male turtles. From the looks of you, I'd say I'll have to hook-up with the red one because he seems to be gruff and foul mouthed which makes him irresistible and sexy."

"Fk yeah!" I'm also hot tempered and violent! A chick's dream come true!"

Artemisia and Raph went on a date and they made-out. Raph then asked her to marry him. When the guys found out, they felt oh so lonely. That is when they decided that incest was hot.

Mikey was now preggers and had no idea who the father was. He told his bros he was just getting fat until one day he awoke in a lot of pain and laid an egg. It was huge and made Mikey bleed a lot so he died. They bried him in April's farmhouse…along with that huge egg, cause it was just creepy.

Raph & Artemisia were now married and Leo and Don stopped turtlecesting after Mikey's death. Too many memories. The three bros along with Artemisia returned to their underground home. It smelled but they loved it. Leo walked straight into his room and found none other than Karia. She was on his bed and that made him happy. Donny walked into his lab and found none other than April. She was on his bed and that made him happy.

All was good in the turtle household. The two new couples got married and had weird hybrid human/turtle babies. Artemisia and Raph had a son and named him Raphael Jr. Leo and Karia had a sn named Leonardo Jr. Donatello and April had a daughter named Donatello Jr. They would soon be taught the way of the ninja or at least, they thought. Karia only used Leo and was secretly plutting to avenge the Shedder.

"I am secretly trying to avenge the Shredder", said Karia.

She gazed onto Leo's sleeping face, along with her weird hybrid human/turtle baby, and froze. She loved them and couldn't do it so she left. Leo was broken hearted.

"I always knew we couldn't trust'er! I'm the one who always has hunches about people and never tell anybody 'bout'em. I prefer to give'em the evil eye then go hit ma punchin' bag or a random Purple Dragon!", Raph said.

"Oh, Raphael. You are such an equinox. You make me want to calibrate the conjunction disentary when you talk like that. Since I am the smart one, I want to make sure you can't understand me by using words that are only seen on SAT's.", Don said.

"Shut the shell up Don! Quit with all that science rubbish! Bloody Hell!", Raph said.

Leo had had enough and left the lair. He was so upset, he joined the Foot. Now he's bad.

When Don and Raph found out the news they…well…they continued on living cause you know, they got kids and stuff. Don adopted Leonardo Jr. and renamed him Donatello Jr. He took a job as computer tech while April ran her crap shop. Raph became the Nightwatcher and…that's what he did….Nightwatcher stuff. Artemisia took care of the home and their son.

Everyone is ok at home and Leo is now the new Shredder. He stays away from mutant turtles but has weird obsession with hunting down Narutards.

The End…or is it?