A/N: Something tragic has happened. As of Sunday, September 9th, Evil Dux has abandoned her fanfiction account. All because of an idiot. Just one. Dumb, pointless flames forced her to abandon her account. Might wanna see MY reviews page, too. Because, sadly, I am a victim as well. And all this time our spammer was calling her coward, but there is only one coward involved in this affair. That would be me. I was Dux's friend, and I let her down. I fought, but I chickened out. Because I was a coward. A stupid little coward. But I shall make ammends for my wrongs. I will not let my fault go unnoticed. I will fight.
So, then: If you're out there, and I know you are, this is payback. Payback for all the wrongs you've inflicted upon us. Payback for all the moments I wasted trying to eradicate you. Payback for Evil Dux. This ends here. I will finish you, once and for all.
But I can't do it alone. You reviewers have to play your role. How can you help? I don't know, just help in any way you think you can. Report the scum, fill their stories (which aren't actually stories) with meaningless crap, just do whatever. This is just one n00b, but this one n00b is actually masquarading under a bunch of other accounts. You all must get her IP address banned. If you succeed, I WILL continue to write, and hopefully Dux will return. If not... we tried. That's what matters.
Still, though, this chapter is supposed to be funny. It's hard to be funny when you're feeling angsty, but still.
DISCLAIMER: Don't you dare make me go through this. I'm feeling angsty right now, dangit!
Pokemon League: Magnezone VS Garchomp
The decisive battle. Aki was about to beat the Champion. So maybe she screwed up last time, so what? At least Gastrodon didn't burn up in the atmosphere or anything. Although when she looked back on it, Gastrodon was a sea slug, so it should've been able to stick to the horn, right? It would still be painful, but still...
"Wake up!" shouted Riley, waving his hand in front of her face. "Pay attention, dangit!"
Aki shook from her dazed stupor. While she had been meditating, her Magnezone had apparently KOed Cynthia's Milotic, Spiritomb, Flint's Charizard (the funeral was to be next Tuesday) a Mesprit that was SUPPOSED to be on their team, Mars in the next life, and the Ruin Maniac, who was still trying to get some "cewkies".
She glanced over to her opponent. Cynthia, sweating uncertainly, grabbed a Pokeball and threw it in the air. Magnezone lazily shot it out of the sky, thus causing the ball to malfunction, sealing the unfortunate Pokemon inside.
"That's no good," remarked Riley. "Trapped in there the poor thing will suffocate from lack of air."
"How do they get air in the first place?" wondered Aki. All her Pokemon suffocated and died. "CRAP!"
Somehow Cynthia managed to get a Garchomp out before it died. "Chompy!" shouted Garchomp gleefully.
"Damn!" shouted to opposing trainer. Electric moves were useless against Ground types! Oh, if only she had paid more attention at the Trainer's School in Jubilife, even though it didn't actually teach anybody anything! "Magnezone, use... uh, Gyro Ball!"
Magnezone made a ball made of... well, something, and shot it at Garchomp. "Chompy nooo!" roared Garchomp.
Cynthia was not pleased. "Garchomp, use Earthquake!"
"OH SHI-" Aki was able to get out right as Garchomp stomped the floor hard. A sudden tremor shook the room, which didn't actually move anybody. "The heck?" she asked afterwards, confused. Riley apparently was not spared, and was in fact sent down to the ground.
Magnezone was also hit. Even though it was floating. It was sent flying through the air, despite the fact that it was floating and that technically it shouldn't be able to even touch it.
Cynthia decided to strike up a conversation. "So, the other day, I was on the Internet, and..."
"SO I HEAR YOU LIKE MUDKIPS" said Riley suddenly. The others gave him odd looks, but decided for him it was natural.
"So, then, what about the Internet?" asked Aki, interested in seeing where this was going.
"Well, there's this n00b, right?" she asked. "And she's been driving me crazy..."
Cynthia was sitting in a high tech computer room. Her windows gazed out into space, and in front of her was a huge wide screen moniter. She was in a black seat, keyboard in front of her. Suddenly the room shook, and there was a picture of a bomb exploding on her screen. After the sudden explosion calmed down, she shouted out, "What happen?!"
"Someone set us up the bomb," responded Buck, who was just there because she needed the community service hours.
"We get signal," added the computer's voice.
"What?" said Cynthia.
"Main screen turn on," lamented the computer.
A picture of a middle school kid appeared on the screen.
"It's you!" shouted Cynthia, saying her first gramically correct sentence for, like, a while.
"How are you gentlemen," said the kid, who shall be referred to from now on as, "n00b".
Cynthia looked slightly disturbed. "'Gentlemen?'" she asked. There were only females in this room. It dawned on her just then. Mars was right, there were spies amongst them!
"All your review are belong to us," said n00b evilly. "You are on your way to massive spam."
"What you say?!" demanded Cynthia.
"I'MA CHARGIN MA LAZA!" shouted Buck randomly. The computer shot her with a laser.
"You have no chance to survive make your time," continued n00b, laughing. "Hahahahaha..." The next few minutes was followed by stupid phrases repeated over and over again, filling the whole screen with spam.
By that time Magnezone had been slaughtered mercilessly by an endless barrage of Earthquakes.
"SUCKER!" cackled Summer.
A/N: Yes, that was all. So, you owe me a favor for this free entertainment. Please help me with the idiots on this site! KILL THEM! KILL THEM ALL!