Oh, and also, this takes place in the RUIN MANIAC CAVE. It's that odd cave on the route south of Veilstone. Go south, take a left, there's a cave there. It's not very big, but there are wild Pokemon there.
Disclaimer: Damn, Kitayl, you must be freaking LOADED, because I'm not even halfway done with these pretzels. Anyway, I do not own Pokemon because Game Freak is so selfish. -sad-
WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS RUIN MANIAC BASHING
Ruin Manaic Cave: Wailord VS Geodude
By Black Archangel
South of Veilstone is a grand cave. A cave that just about everybody knows about. Why? Because, within this cave, there is the greatest man alive- the Ruin Maniac. Chipping away oh so valiently at this persistant stone wall, he is a role model for many. It would be an honor to be inside this cave.
It would also be an honor to find out everything I just said was a complete and utter lie.
Aki wandered inside this cave, never seeing it before. It looked different than other caves- outside was a makeshift door made of a very old and fragile piece of wood that covered the entrance. There was little inside, too, she realized, as she entered the cave. Approximately the size of the average bathroom stall, the cave had only a man inside, hacking away at the wall. This was the Ruin Maniac.
The Ruin Maniac turned, realizing he had a guest. He stared, then said weakly, "Yew sellin cewkies? Ah take ten boxes, yesh ah will."
Aki took a step back. "W-what?" she stuttered.
"Yew got tin meents?" continued the Ruin Maniac. "Yewr a purdy girl shcout, yesh yew are."
Aki seemed to have recovered. "I-I'm sorry, sir, I'm not a Girl Scout."
"Oho, but yew ahr!" continued the man.
"I'm a Pokemon Trainer," said Aki, almost apologeticly. "I don't sell cookies."
"Taht's a shame, den," he sighed. "Yewr really purdy, ya know?"
Aki was somehow restraining herself from slapping him. "I-I'll be going know." She backed away towards the door.
"W-wayt!" shouted the Ruin Maniac. "Ah yew singa?"
Aki was almost out of there when she slipped on a Geodude. It opened its eyes slowly, muttered something, and shook a fist, almost as if saying, "You want a fight, punk? Cuz I'll give you a fight!"
She reached into her belt and withdrew a Pokeball. "Go, Wailord!" she shouted.
What happened next was complete and utter chaos. Again, the whole cavern wasn't much bigger than the average bathroom stall. It's like imagining it was a Poffin. Now imagine putting several houses on top of that Poffin. Now imagine trying to cram all of those houses inside the Poffin. It didn't end well, except for Aki, who somehow remained unharmed.
"Wailord!" she shouted. "Use Splash!" Wailord began thrashing about, again, inside the cave, breaking many walls, and though the Geodude was being hurled around like if it was inside a washing machine, it didn't actually take any damage.
The Ruin Maniac was a different story, several bones broken and at least seven vital organs damaged, including the solar plexus, a vital part of the body.
Geodude tried to attack back with Tackle, yet somehow missed.
"Wailord, now, use Rest!" commanded Aki. Wailord stretched, then fell asleep.
"Now use SNORE!"
Wailord let out a huge snore, breaking several walls, eardrums, and hearts. Don't ask me why it broke eardrums, it simply doesn't make sense.
Geodude got annoyed and switched to its last resort: SELF-DESTRUCT! BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!
Under the Wailord came a tiny "bum" as Wailord's back arched, and then returned to normal.
Aki and Wailord, much to the Ruin Maniac's dismay, did a victory dance.
A/N: I've always wondered why when a Wailord uses Splash (which it can learn, because Wailmer learns Splash) why it doesn't actually hurt the enemy. I've also wondered how it can battle in such tiny places like the cave. It makes no sense. Anyway, I need reviews. I need them to stay alives... -eats reviews-