2Disclaimer: I'm not worth suing.
One day the Phantom of the Opera was sitting in his underground lair being depressed because he had no friends.
"Sigh," he said, "I am depressed and have no friends..."
Suddenly a small beetle flew over and landed on his arm.
"Hello little beetle," he said, "Will you be my friend?"
The beetle crawled around a bit, then began eating a small crumb it had found on the Phantom's sleeve.
"Hooray!" said the Phantom, "I have a friend! I will name you Theodore and you will be with me forever!"
The idea of having a friend made the Phantom so happy he decided to go play with his dolls. He preformed a brilliant re-enactment of his duel with Raoul in the graveyard, except of course that in the end Raoul got his head cut off, Christine fell back in love with him, and he decided he was too good for her and left her to grow old and become a bitter dried-up prune, and no he wasn't at all bitter that it hadn't actually happened that way.
Theodore was a very good listener, and he seemed quite absorbed by the drama the figurines acted out, and even though his eyes were very small and hard to see the Phantom knew they were fixed on his mini-theatrical masterpiece.
When he was done with his glorious retelling he thought it would be a good idea to tell Theodore how much he appreciated him...
"Oh Theodore!" he said, "you're the best friend ever!" Then he gave Theodore a big hug!
"CRUNCH" went Theodore, "OH NO!" went the Phantom, "I've killed my best friend!"
The Phantom was so distraught he realized had to write an opera dedicated to Theodore's memory, so he began pounding away on his organ.
Up in the Opera House, Meg Giry was speaking to her mother when hauntingly beautiful organ music began drifting up to them.
"Why Mother!" she said " What is the Phantom composing for?"
"Oh dear," said Madame Giry, "He must have killed another bug."
THE END
This was the first fanfiction I ever wrote, and I have just now posted it because I'm a lazy bum. Also I was bored.