A/N: Recently I've had a bit of an obsession with Mars. I don't why MARS of all people, there's just something about her that's just so awesome. Oh, sure, I'll let Jupiter and Saturn and maybe even Cyrus join in on the fun, but for now it's Mars.

DISCLAIMER: I... I can't own Mars?! LIES! I'll show them! I'll show them all! -steals Mars- Ha! See? Now she's mine. Only I can't legally own her because of slavery and lawsuits and all that stuff. -growl- Stupid selfish Game Freak...


By Black Archangel

"Mars was sitting. In a room. But it wasn't just any room. Inside this room was a chair. A very long chair. It was, like, a limo chair. And Mars was sitting on it. On the limo chair. Yeah. Just Mars. And the limo chair. In the room. With Mars sitting on the limo chair. And-"


"Fine, fine."

Mars looked around, dazed. There were spies?, she thought. In here?! THOSE JERKS! They told me there would be no spies! Now I shall exact my vengence by smashing those morons to the death with this limo chair! "Ahahahahahahahahaha!" she cackled, raising the limo chair over her head. She teetered slightly under the weight, thus dropping it. It hit her on the head, tumbled over in front of her, landed on the small end, and, as luck would have it, fell on Mars again.

"TRAITOR!" screeched Mars, kicking the chair in fury. She stubbed her toe, and ran out of the room crying, looking around for bandages.

"Do you have any Band-Aids?" Mars asked a random Grunt. "I kicked the limo chair because it betrayed me and now it gave this boo-boo and I need a Band-Aid."

The Grunt gave her an odd look, said, "I'm going to go walk away now" and did so, muttering something about "the Admin position is overrated" and walking into a storage room.

"Yeah, you run away!" taunted Mars. "Nyaaaaaaaah!" She stuck her tongue out at him.

Mars walked around for about twenty more minutes, but alas, the entire facility seemed to be devoid of any form of the elusive adhesive rubber strips. Sniffling from the pain, she walked into the storage room and began looking around.

She found a Rainbow Wing.

"Trash," she muttered, tossing it aside.

She found an Azure Flute.

"Don't need it," she continued, adding it to the pile of junk.

She found a Manaphy Egg.

"Don't they keep anything worth having in here?!" demanded Mars, searching even more franticly now.

Somewhere after her twentieth Holy Grail, she finally found some moldy old bandages which, had it been food, would have expired ages ago. Not caring in the slightest, Mars slapped them on in an instant, and, grabbing a flamethrower, ran back to the limo chair room to exact her vengence by burning those morons into oblivion with this flamethrower! "Ahahahaha- wait a minute... this seems kind of familiar..." said Mars observantly. A pause. "Whatever. I'll just blame it on the spies. CURSE YOU, VILLAIN!" She got up on the limo chair, picked up her weapon, and began shooting away at the ceiling.

After the fire department left, Cyrus got real pissed at Mars and sent her a big and boring room. Which was a slightly toastier limo chair room. Mars sighed. "Isn't there anything interesting to do?" she asked after several long and boring minutes. She lay down on the chair, intending to take a nap, when suddenly something caught her eye.

"Woah! What the hell is that?!" she shouted, suddenly pointing at the ceiling.

"That would be a ceiling fan," said Jupiter, coming inside.

"Aha! So you were the spy!" declared Mars. "YOU MUST DIE!"

"W-what?!" stammered Jupiter, backing off swiftly.

"Die, you know, go to sleep, don't wake up, die," clarified Mars.

"You're gonna kill me?!" asked Jupiter tearfully, knowing Mars was perfectly capable of doing so.

"Well, that's what they do in Evangelion, right?"

"I... I don't actually know..." admitted Jupiter.

"Well to hell with that," said Mars.

"I'm bored," said Jupiter.

"I know! Let's look at ceiling fans!" declared Mars.

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!" they shouted in unison, showing hyperness that would rival that of Lucky Star's theme song.

They sat together on the limo chair, staring at the fan in wonder. After a while Mars began shaking constantly, and she fell down to the floor. "Ow!" she shouted.

"Mars, what happened?" asked Jupiter.

"The fan!" shouted Mars. "Jupiter, the fan is telling us something!"

"What is it?"

"I don't know, just look!" shouted Mars, ushering her to the limo chair. They watched the fan in wide-eyed wonder. "Oh my god it's putting me under its spell!" shouted Mars. "This is the best thing ever! W00T!"

They stared excitedly, and then their expressions turned blank. "We must please our master," said Jupiter tonelessly.

"Yes..." responded Mars. "We must please the god of the fans..."

"Oh, mighty god, how shall we please you?" asked Jupiter.

The fan continued to spin.

"We're on it!" shouted Mars and Jupiter together. They marched into the storage room, walked out with a box of bandages, and began sticking them on anyone they saw. "The master's reign shall begin!" they declared. "Our master shall not be disappointed! WE MUST PLEASE DR. PHIL!"

Saturn saw the two attacking innocent bypassers, and walked out of his room. "Hey, what-" He didn't finish the sentence, because Mars kicked him in the groin while Jupiter went and turned on the TV to Dr. Phil.

"ALL HAIL PHIL!" they shouted, bowing to the TV.

"I... don't think he's a real doctor..." groaned Saturn, clutching his crotch while doubling over in pain.


A/N: This is actually kind of based off a real story. See, I didn't actually get hypnotized, but I think it was I wear super-duper titanium glasses of double protection, but I did stare at a ceiling fan today, and I swear it was trying to take over my mind. It was freaking scary! No, the ceiling fan god is not Dr. Phil. Fortunately. Because then he'd take over my mind. And that would suck because I'd be wasting millions of dollars buying his books.

Please review!