Well hello. It has been a while and to be honest I had completely forgotten about this story, until last night. I just woke up with an itch to write so here I am. I apologize for the long wait. I originally only planned on having three more chapters, so I'm going to see what I can do. My goal is to finish this by the end of the summer. If anyone is still up for reading this please review. It will help keep me motivated. On with the story…
Italicized are flashbacks…
~Well I never pray
But tonight I'm on my knees yeah
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now
But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now
No change, I can't change
I can't change, I can't change
But I'm here in my mind
I am here in my mind
And I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mind
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
I can't change
I can't change it~
~Bittersweet Symphony By: The Verve
-Hisoka's point of view-
I'm floating? No wait, I'm just unconscious. Well, I guess there are worse things. At least here I don't have to deal with anything. Wait no, that's a lie; I have to deal with myself. Crap. I really can never win.
I just can't believe I fell for it all. To be honest, I just wish someone had told me. But then again I suppose I can understand why they would be hesitant to do that. But still. I trusted them. I believed them when they said they cared. If they really cared they never would have let those…. Things… happen to me. I just want to stay here. I don't want to wake up and face everyone. To see how they look at me without hiding their real feelings.
Argh. My head is killing me.
-"What are you doing?" Hisoka asked quietly, not looking up.
"I'm going to go...I don't think you'll want me here anymore so I'll just leave. Hisoka I'm so sorry about this. I promise that I'll do anything I can to keep this from happening. I'm so sorry..." he trailed off.
Tsuzuki started to summon the energy he needed to teleport and closed his eyes. He was about to leave when he felt something latch onto him.
He opened his eyes to see Hisoka clinging to him.
"Hisoka?" Tsuzuki asked confused.
"Don't go..." Hisoka mumbled into Tsuzuki's shirt.
"Don't go... You said you wouldn't go. You promised." Hisoka mumbled out.
Tsuzuki was stunned. How could this boy not hate him now? He had betrayed his trust hadn't he?
"How could you still want me to stay?" he asked the boy.
Hisoka looked up at Tsuzuki, tears slowly cascading down his cheeks. Tsuzuki bought his hand up and carefully wiped them away.
"I don't know, but you said you'd stay with me. And it's not your fault what's going to happen... I knew it had to be something bad but..." Hisoka couldn't finish.-
What was that? And boy is my head killing me.
Wait was that a memory…?
My head is starting to hurt again.
-"Did you have fun today Soka?" Tsuzuki asked as they left the festival and were heading back.
"Yea." Hisoka replied.
"I'm glad." Tsuzuki said with a small smile.
Both of them knew what tomorrow was- the day- possibly their last day together. Neither wanted to bring up the topic, but it was evident that they were both thinking about it as they headed back. As they got closer to the Kurosaki house Hisoka visibly tensed. Tsuzuki looked at Hisoka worridly wondering what he could do.
Tsuzuki grabbed onto Hisoka's hand and pulled the boy into an embrace. Hisoka struggled at first but soon melted into the embrace. He brought his hands up and clung to Tsuzuki's shirt. He was afraid, more afraid than he had ever been, but it wasn't only because of what was going to happen tomorrow. Of course that scared him, it scared the hell out of him, but he was also afraid of Tsuzuki leaving. He hadn't told his angel that he knew this, but he wasn't sure what to say.
Words are just too real...
"Tsuzuki... I know..."
"I know you do."-
What's happening? Am I remembering that month? Muraki said he unlocked my memories. Maybe this is the rest of them. If so, I was … happy… and maybe he did care…?
-"I was told to give you a choice. The higher ups said that they could erase Hisoka's memory of this night..." Tatsumi started.
"Please! Do it Tatsumi! Please!"
"Let me finish Tsuzuki... there's a catch" Tatsumi said taking a deep breath.
"What is it? Anything! I'll do anything Tatsumi, just please tell me what I have to do!" Tsuzuki begged.
"Hisoka...He'll forget the past month in exchange..."
Tsuzuki couldn't respond. He wanted Hisoka to forget what just happened but in exchange Hisoka would forget about Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki knew that this past month was probably the happiest time Hisoka had experienced, but... then Hisoka would have to experience the pain of being left again not to mention what just happened... but still... it was a hard decision...
Tatsumi and Watari waited for an answer, neither wanting to pressure Tsuzuki.
Tsuzuki looked down at Hisoka. His body was covered in blood and he reached of sex. His face was contorted in pain even though he was passed out. The red curse marks shone brightly accented by the blood and bruises that now marked Hisoka's pale skin. Tsuzuki reached out and let his hand brush away a few locks of blood coated hair from Hisoka's forehead.
He would do this for Hisoka... he would do what was best...
"Tatsumi..." Tsuzuki trailed off.
"Make him forget." Tsuzuki said sadly.
"Are you sure Tsuzuki?" Tatsumi asked.
"Yes, just please do it." Tsuzuki said, tears once again running down his cheeks.
Tatsumi nodded and leaned down. He put a hand on Hisoka's forehead and began chanting.
"I'm sorry Hisoka." Tsuzuki said as the last words of the chant were completed. Watari leaned down and gave Hisoka some sort of serum. Tsuzuki noticed that Hisoka's wounds were slowly healing as the serum took effect.
"Sorry Bon" Watari said to the boy.
"We'll give you a moment Tsuzuki, to say good bye." Tatsumi said as he and Watari teleported away.
Tsuzuki stood up and gathered Hisoka in his arms as he teleported them back into the cellar. Tsuzuki laid Hisoka down and changed his clothing, being extremely careful since the boy was still in pain even after Watari's serum. As he laid Hisoka on his bed, Tsuzuki sat down next to him.
"Hisoka... I don't know what to say. I now that you've already forgotten me and can't hear me but I have to say a few things that I just have to say... I'm sorry... no matter how many times you tell me to stop apologizing I just can't... I wanted to protect you and what happens... I fail yet again... I only wanted you to be happy... to smile and be the person you were meant to. I don't know what's going to happen now. I suppose you'll continue on as you did before I came... Hisoka... even though you won't remember me, I won't forget you. I promise Hisoka- I will never forget you... and do you know why?" Tsuzuki asked the sleeping boy.
"Because I love you..." Tsuzuki said, tears once again falling. He pulled Hisoka into another embrace and held him tight, relishing in the feeling of having Hisoka in his arms. He held the boy as tightly as he could before slowly relinquishing his hold.
"I love you." Tsuzuki said, leaning down and pressing his lips to Hisoka's forehead one last time. It took everything Tsuzuki had to stand up, to turn around, and walk away. With one last look back Tsuzuki teleported out, leaving only his tears behind.-
Wait. That wasn't my memory. Is that possibly Tsuzuki's memory. If so, he did care. I just wonder how I got it. Wait the power transfer that must have been it. He must have been thinking about those memories when it happened and I received them as a result.
That's Tsuzuki's voice. I guess I should try to wake up. I think I need to wake up. I need to talk to Tsuzuki about all of this. Maybe he can fill in the blanks for me.
But how do I wake up? The last thing I remember is being severely injured, can I even wake up?
I guess I have to try. But if I'm missing any body parts I'm going to kill him.
-Third Person Point of View-
Tsuzuki was sitting next to Hisoka's bed in the infirmary. Watari hovered nearby monitoring Hisoka's vitals.
"How is he Watari?" Tsuzuki asked.
"He seems to be fully recovered physically. There was minimal scaring, most of it should still heal, but will take a few more weeks." Watari answered.
Tsuzuki looked down at his hand, the one holding Hisoka's hand.
"Then why isn't he awake?" he asked.
"That's hard to say. Maybe he's just not ready to wake up. He has been through a lot and maybe he just needs some time to process everything."
That made sense to Tsuzuki, it did but he still wished Hisoka would wake up.
Watari went to leave and stopped and put his hand on Tsuzuki's shoulder. "He will wake up, just give him some time."
"That's what I'm afraid of. How am I going to explain things to him?" Tsuzuki asked.
"That's going to be up to you I'm afraid. But Tsuzuki he will understand, you need to believe that."
Tsuzuki laughed. "How can he forgive me when I still haven't forgiven myself?"
Watari sighed. "Maybe you need to." He said then left.
Tsuzuki was once again alone with Hisoka, like had been for most of the past two weeks. When Hisoka was first brought in they weren't sure he would even make it, but slowly he has proven them all wrong and healed, at least physically.
"Hisoka, please wake up. I know you probably hate me now, but just let me explain. Please. I never meant to hurt you then or now. I have only wanted to protect you and I keep failing." Tsuzuki said looking at his lap.
"I wouldn't say you keep failing. I'm still alive aren't I?"
Tsuzuki looked up at Hisoka in shock. The boy was looking back at him with half-open eyes. But Hisoka was awake and that's all that matters.
"Hisoka!" Tsuzuki cried as he embraced Hisoka.
"Tsuzuki… can't… breathe…"
"Oh sorry!" Tsuzuki said sitting back in the chair. He couldn't bring himself to meet Hisoka's gaze and see the hate there.
"Look at me Tsuzuki"
Tsuzuki shook his head. He then felt small hands grab his face and lift so that he was looking at Hisoka. To his surprise all he saw there was confusion.
"Care to fill me in on a few things?" Hisoka asked.
Tsuzuki looked at him in shock. "I can try" He answered with hope.
-End of Chapter 13-
Sorry for the deal, but I hope to have one more chapter up and it should be done in the next few weeks. Sorry for all the flashbacks but I thought they were necessary. Please review!