Lee/Gaara -
Choices

Chapter: 1

When I first saw him. He was terrifying. It was terrifying how beautiful he was. I never admitted this truth to myself. Constantly reassuring my sexuality by staring at Sakura for unbelievably long moments. So long in fact that even my terrible beauty would look over and glare at me. She really isn't as stunning as I once thought. She dulled in comparison to my lovely crush. But I never acknowledged myself. Never tried to fully see his beauty, for I might become lost in it.

What is a youthful soul to do? Trapped between two choices: Acceptance and… And what? Happiness? No. Only if he felt the same strong urge for me as I do for him would I truly be happy. Sadly rejection seemed more reasonable. It hung like a cloud over my beautiful tree; shadowing all rays of sunlight in which I thrive off of. Even if I was accepted by him, our fondness mutual and our love sacred; others aren't at all as… forgiving? So my only other choice would be quiet admiring.

So many sleepless nights spent thinking of him. So many nights spent pondering my options. So many ideas. So many situations. So many choices; I could just forget about him? Pretend I never saw him. I tried. I tried again. And again. But those piercing eyes always cut through my most foggiest of dreams. He was not forgotten easily. He was always scratching the back of my mind. Always gnawing on my brain. My brain always aching to let him back in. It hurt to have him absent for my dreams. I could confront him? Even though he probably doesn't even know my name. Vaguely knowing where he's seen me before; attempting to rake his brain for my name while his filled mine.

I hugged my chest. I've never held anyone in these arms before. They're so empty. I imagine his comforting red hair so close to my nose. His face pressed against my chest. Me his pillar of strength, he my one weakness. Those pitiful eyes suddenly full of hope when he pulls away from our embrace. Those thin lips showing me his first smile in years. All his burdens would fall off his chest when he falls in to my arms. My lips twitched as I smiled and hugged the air. Oh how that gap wants to be desperately filled. My stomach turns and flips as more fantasies enter my head. I uncontrollably roll around on my bed at the thought of anything more then hugging.

At every encounter with him my hart flutters. Just a glimpse of him makes my head spin. Seeing those eyes that have lovingly haunted me in all those dreams makes my strong legs shake. My muscles go weak as I suddenly think of a new scenario. A new fantasy. I'm lost in my own world. Everything surrounding me goes into the background. White noise if you will. And I'm gone. Hours go by like this. I don't even notice as Gai-sensei yells at me to run another five hundred miles for late reaction time.

But now years have passed. I'm now eighteen and proudly wear a shinobi vest over my stunning green jumpsuit. He is now so far away from me all my fantasies are inadequate. He's changed so much that I can barely remember his original face. I try so hard to remember those features that used to make me breathless only to come up with nothing. Nothing. I don't think about anything anymore. If my life were any more revolved around training I think I'd seriously loose it.

I feel so empty. So inadequate. I want to see him. Even though he's so much higher up on the ladder than I am. Even though he's so untouchable, I want to see him. I fall asleep thinking of him again.


"Oh. My. God." I thought to myself the first day I saw him, "Is that….a green… jumpsuit?" I blinked a few more times. It was still there. And green. And together. I stifled a laugh. I never laugh. I've never even thought of anything other than sad things. But when I saw him. I, for the first time in my short life, had wanted to smile. Wanted to laugh along with my siblings who were sharing my amusement.

But I didn't then. I continued to look at him. I must've had an odd look on my face, just staring at him in all his unique-ness. I hadn't even noticed him looking at the pink-haired girl for copious amounts of time. She was unremarkable in everyway and figured he was looking at a fly on the wall. Or something else more stunning then the unremarkable girl. For a second, I wished he would look at me. But that passed.

His… Teacher I suppose, walked in later with the same get up. He wasn't nearly as fun to stare at then his pupil though. Those silly wide eyes that seemed to hold the future in them, those orange leg warmers which I doubt had any purpose, that ridiculous hair cut and finally those goofy eyebrows. Why was I suddenly engrossed with those features? Why did I stay awake thinking of them? Why did my mind wander to things that had never concerned me before? Why was I suddenly more lonely than I'd ever been in my life.

Why did I want him to pull me into his arms and never let go? I cursed myself. People weren't needed to function. I would try and forget those oddly stunning features and go about my own business. Even though this proved impossible over many nights. Days. Weeks. Months.

Years. They've passed without a momments notice, my eighteenth birthday so close. My infatuation growing every time we happen to pass. Every mission. Every slight gesture makes my heart beat out of order. I feel my chest go tight and my breath hitch. It hurts to watch him go about ignorant to my longings. Nothing is enough. I need him so close I can breath him in. So close I could die in his arms. Happiness found in the comfort of his embrace. But I'm alone in my room again. Sitting on my lonely bed. Staring at the blank wall.

I feel so empty. So inadequate. I want to see him. Even though I'm higher up on the ladder than he is. Even though he's so unaware of me, I want to see him. I fall asleep thinking of him.


(A/N: Ok. My first LxG. I love this pairing even if it is a delicious crack pairing. This story will get interesting. I promise. I'm just wondering on how they should meet. I think I have a good idea. It better not have been done before:D

P.S. I kinda noticed something while I was writing that the first time they see each other in the Chunin Exams? Maybe that's true? Review please! (: )