2My question now is... Are you Ready? I said are you ready?
Two men are seen tied up on chairs and with a Gay Sex-Toy in their mouth. Two men walk up and light a cigarette with a Zippo. One of the men has a whip with a tight knot on the opposite end.
The Man with the Whip: So your names are, Mcory and Cheech Segarta.
The only mumbled some words. The man with the whip then whiped them in their balls, which hanging below the chair. They then screamed out loud.
The Man with the Whip: My name is Victor Scottfried, and this is my partner, Jack Michael.
Jack Michael: Hey.
Victor Scottfried: Tell me you two, do you know how to cure this mess, this, overly obnoxious, hellashish mess?
The Segratas then mumbled, followed by being hit in the balls with the whip, and screaming out loud.
Victor Scottfried: I have an idea, we should, FREE BALLIN!
The camera turned to their behind as they tore off their pants leaving them naked. They then caught a ball and a wall behind them rose up seeing a basketball court. Victor then scored a basket. The Segratas screamed bloody murder as Jack Michael came up behind Mcory.
Jack Michael: Guess what my name really is.
Mcory's eyes got big as suddenly, Mcory woke up screaming out loud. Cheech walked in and screamed out loud. Mcory had a teddy bear in his hands and Cheech had a blankie. They didn't stop screaming as they hid them behind their backs. They then continued to scream as gun shot was heard, followed by many others and they stopped screaming.
Neighbor: Shut-up!
Other Neighbor: Yeah it's, oh hey it's 7 o'clock.
Neighbor: Oh, then time to get up.
Other Neighbor: Sweet.
Neighbor: Totally.
Suddenly, a guitar started playing "Have a Nice Day" by Bon Jovi.
Words in bold appeared on the screen.
From the Creators of Xiaolin Showdown: The Movie.
Presented by Crumpton Krabby (My Company)
James Crumpton
Cheech Marin
Segrata
The song continues to play as it slowly fades out and Mcory and Cheech Segrata walk out of their house. It was a desert with sand and what not. There houses were clay.
Cheech Segrata: Hey Mcory, we really got to get that house bill payed.
Mcory Segrata: Duh ese'.
Cheech opened up the mailbox and got out their mail.
Cheech Segrata: Bill, bill, bill, Playcowgirl, bill, bill, wait, Playcowgirl?
Mcory grabs it from him.
Mcory Segrata: That's mine.
Cheech then shakes his head.
Cheech Segrata: Bill, bill, bill, Thompson Dope, bill, Thomson Dope?
Mcory takes it as well.
Mcory Segrata: That's, also mine.
Cheech then sighs.
Cheech Segrata: Bill, bill, bill, Eviction Notice, bill, bill, bill, bill, bill, and bill.
Mcory Segrata: Wait a second homes, go back a few.
Cheech Segrata: Bill...
Mcory Segrata: Farther.
Cheech Segrata: Bill, Eviction Notice, bill-
Mcory Segrata: Hey, it's an eviction notice.
Cheech Segrata: No, Mcory, it's not an eviction, it's probally just a normal (looks at mail) Holy Shit it's an Eviction Notice.
Mcory Segrata: So, we got today, and tomorrow to do it.
Cheech Segrata: More like an hour.
Mcory Segrata: Dammit.
Cheech Segrata: So, let's go over and pay.
They start to walk towards the bank. It was right next door. They enter the bank having the doors swing open and everyone in the bank stare at them. Some western music starts to play as Cheech and Mcory enter the bank. They then get to the line.
Cashier: May I help you sir?'
Mcory Segrata: Yeah, we have to pay this Eviction Notice.
Casheir: Do you have the paper?
Cheech gets them out and gives them to the Cashier.
Casheir: Now, do you have $20,000?
Mcory and Segrata then drop their jaws. They then look at each other.
Mcory Segrata: Oh hell no homes.
Mcory then gets out a gun and holds it to the casheir's head.
Cheech Segrata: Mcory, we don't wany any trouble.
Mcory Segrata: Cheech, I do ese'.
He then shoots and the Casheir goes back against the wall. It stops mid-air and spins around Matrix-style. Mcory then shoots random people and what not. A large guy comes behind Mcory.
Mcory Segrata: "Refrigerator" Perry?
Perry: Damn straight.
Mcory then smiles and shoots Perry in the head. Mcory then grabs a random guys head and sticks a ranom bomb in the guy's mouth and then sticks the head in a toilet. Mcory grabs Segrata as they get out of the bank and run away in slow-mo as the bar behind them explodes leaving a blaze of fire behind them. Mcory accidently trips Cheech and they fall down and trip and roll. Suddenly, all of the other houses, another words the whole town, set on fire.
Cheech Segrata: Whoa! Um, Mcory?
Mcory Segrata: What, did we win?
Cheech Segrata: Far from homes.
Mcory sees.
Mcory Segrata: Oh, shit.
Suddenly, the whole town blows as The Segratas go up. They then fall down. We see The Segratas far from each other and in the middle of a bunch of charred houses and heat-lines.
Cheech Segrata: Mcory?
No answer.
Cheech Segrata: Mcory!?
Still no answer.
Cheech Segrata: Marco!
No answer.
Cheech Segrata: I say tomato, you say!
No answer.
Cheech Segrata: Yeah you, shook me all night long! Yeah you, shook me all night long!
No answer. Mcory then comes up from the sand on a door. Cheech hops on and Mcory just hangs there.
Cheech Segrata: Oh god your here.
Mcory Segrata: I would never leave you.
They then holds hands. That fades out and leads to another part. They are still holding hands and Mcory is not moving. Cheech shakes him.
Cheech Segrata: Mcory? Mcory?
He starts to cry as The Titanic Theme hits in the background. He sticks his hand in the sand and grabs a whistle. He then blows it repeadedly.
Mcory Segrata: BOO!
Cheech Segrata: AH!
Cheech then falls off the door and into the sand. Mcory gets out and starts to laugh his ass of.
Cheech Segrata: Godamn you, go to fucking hell.
There you have it, Ch. 1 of my movie, Segrata.