2(A game is seen being played, a game, a Half Life game. In fact, it's on a part where a door is seen and a button to the right)
Player: Alright, I'm currently stuck in a fucked up underground layer full of dead bodies, aliens, and, well, blood, what should I do now?
(A crowbar appears and suddenly starts hitting random crap. It eventually hits the button, breaking it, and opening the door)
Player: See, this is what button smashing is good for. OK, another door.
(He walks over to the door and it opens)
Player: Why can't all doors after the beginning portion of this game be like this one?
(He walk up further to see a dead guy and a scientist on a catwalk)
Player: Whoa, a dead body, what the fuck happened, you killed him didn't you? Do I have to-whoa...
(He suddenly stops when he sees to deep hole)
Player: That's a negative. Should I go, or should I stay, go, or stay, ikimasu or staymasu, eh, let's go.
(He walks onto catwalk about halfway, and it suddenly starts to break)
Player: Oh shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit-!
(The player doesn't make it back as he falls to his death)
Player: Ah crap, see, this is what walkthroughs are good, "walkthroughs are the easy way out", bullshit I said, bullshit indeed.
Some eyes suddenly open, and all around, it's dark, with one light shining down, and swinging, like an interrogation. Anyway, two guys suddenly walk up: the African American guy and the guy with the trucker hat.
African American Guy: Good, you're awake.
Trucker Hat Guy: Hey, borderers, tell me what the hell do you two think you're doing lying to us?
The Eyes: I thought it'd be fun.
African American: The only thing that is fun is playing Gears of War in the dark at night.
Some Deep Voice Guy (Mark Henry): Yo, best back up, the boss wants a word.
The two suddenly separate to allow another man to walk into the light.
Man (Tim Curry): Oh, glad to see we're awake. Now, I have to ask you both an important question.
Cheech: What question?
The eyes are suddenly spooked and look to the left to see Cheech.
Mcory: When did you get up?
Cheech: I've been up.
Man: Silence, my name is Timothy Erore.
Cheech: What country are you from?
Timothy: America, now, listen closely, you two are Mexicans, right?
Mcory: Last time we checked ese.
Cheech: Ci senior.
Timothy: Good, because you two are just what I need, for some dope.
Mcory: Do we get some?
Timothy: Of course.
Mcory: We're in.
Cheech: Homes, wait-
Mcory: When do we start?
Timothy: Right away.
Cheech: Bro, hold on-
Mcory: And the pay?
Timothy: You keep what you sell.
Cheech: Hey bitch-
Mcory: Off we go!
The deep voiced man comes up behind the Segrata's.
Cheech: I still don't think-
Their heads are suddenly banged together by the deep voice man, knocking them out.
They both reawaken outside of a dumpster.
Cheech: Hey Mcory...
Mcory: Yeah homes?
Cheech: Can I fucking kill you now?!
Mcory: Now Cheech calm down!
They both stand up and brush themselves off.
Cheech: From now on, as the older one of us two, I'm officially decreeing that only I can speak, and if you do, I will kill you slowly ese.
Mcory: Fine, but on one condition!
Cheech: Which is?
Mcory: I get to sell that dope.
Cheech: Deal, but you still split the money 50-50.
Mcory: 60-40.
Cheech: Gah, fine.
They shake on it, making it official.
They walk out of the alley they were in and find a busy port where the dead guy is still at, and he's starting to rot. A ship starts to head off as a little girl steps off. She has a rolling back a backpack. She also has a picture in her hands, looking at it. It's a picture of her on Mcory and Cheech's shoulders. She looks over at the two just standing there, talking to some old lady, who just smacks Mcory. She walks away and Cheech smacks him.
Girl (Miranda Cosgrove): You've gotta be shi-kidding me.
She walks over to the two brothers.
Mcory: Hey Cheech look, a little girl.
Cheech: Don't punch her.
He hits his elbow to Cheech.
Cheech: What may we do for you?
Girl: Are you two Mcory and Cheech Segrata?
Mcory: What if we are?
Girl: Are you or not?
Cheech: Yes we are.
Girl: Good, I'm your little sister.
Cheech looks shocked at first, then starts laughing his guts off. Mcory starts rubbing his eyes a bit, trying to believe it. Mcory taps Cheech a few times.
Mcory: I think she's serious homes.
Cheech: You've gotta be shitting me. OK, little girl, even if it was true, what's your name?
Girl: Miryo Segrata.
Cheech: What the fuck kind of name is that?
Miryo: I don't know, ask Mr. Worry Wart over here?
Cheech looks over to Mcory who's starting to sweat.
Cheech: Mcory, what the hell are you not telling me?
Mcory: Oh fine, it's true, mom had another kid. She just hid it from us, well, you, it was when you were away for college.
Cheech: Which I didn't finish.
Miryo: It's true, she kept me from you for all these years.
Mcory: So you're our sister?
Cheech: It's true, she's got your eyes.
Mcory: But please don't kill me!
Cheech: Mom's already dead so that's one half of my job done.
He starts choking Mcory out.
Miryo: Hey, hey...HEY!
They stop as Miryo looks on.
Miryo: For starters, if you're going to act like Americans, you're going to have to stop being pricks to each other.
Mcory: I was gonna tell you eventually.
Cheech: At my grave doesn't count.
Mcory: Dammit how'd you know?
Miryo: Just shut up, please. I can help you blend in.
Cheech: Why would we need your help? I just found out I had a little sister when for all these years I was completely oblivious.
Miryo sighs and takes Mcory's dope, throwing it into the alley on some hobo, who suddenly wakes up.
Hobo: There is a god!
Mcory: I need that.
Miryo: For starters, that's illegal, next, if don't want to look like freaks to these people, change your clothes, you've worn that through thick and thin.
Cheech: It's our signature outfit ese, it's what we do.
Mcory: Yeah homes.
Miryo: That is quite possible the worst accent I have ever heard, and I'm American, the land of no one accent.
Cheech: If you're American, why did you arrive on the boat?
Miryo: I was going to meet you in St. Louis, then I went to Mexico, but the whole town but burnt down, then I came here, and I found you two dumb fu-I mean, dumbos.
Mcory again starts to sweat.
Miryo: Mcory!
Cheech: What now?
Mcory: The trip to Italy, mom banged up some man whore, got pregnant, had her.
Cheech: Are you sure it's not legal to kill somebody here, because I have an Italian sister?!
Miryo: Positive, and it won't be that bad, land of the pizza, and pasta, and ice cream.
Mcory: Isn't ice cream Icelandic, thus the name ice.
Miryo and Cheech look on it utter amazement.
Mcory: I'm not at all related to Caboose FYI.
Miryo and Cheech: Right!
Cheech: Fine, you can help us, what first?
Miryo: Get rid of that body, it stinks.
Cheech: The concrete cleaner'll get it homes.
Miryo: Fine, then get new clothes.
The two brothers sigh.
Miryo: I'm Italian, and a girl, what more characteristics do you need for me to be fashion smart?
The two bro's look at each other and then at Miryo.
The Two: Gay...
Miryo: And another thing, in America, might wanna drop some of the cuss words and racial, religious, and sexual slurs.
Mcory: But we're Mexican, we share properties with our neighboring continental countries.
Cheech: With America we're very dirty verbally, and with Canada, we let our allies do our work.
Miryo simply stares at them in awe.
Mcory: Wow, we're horrible people.
Cheech: Let's go.
Chapter 6, on the air.