Hi, so, sorry it took me ages to update, but I had this ton of homework (which I didn't do) and had to… do it (not very well, I feel I must add)
So…on with the story!
James, Peter and Sirius were all sat outside the transfiguration room, listening to quill scribbling.
"Sirius? Can I ask why we're here?" James whispered, Sirius rolled his eyes.
"Because, you fool!" Sirius replied, "We want to see how Lily does, yet also skive off lessons!"
"Yeah, James, get it right!" Peter laughed, "No, wait, how will we know if she passes or fails?"
"Oh for Merlins sake!" Sirius groaned "Because, we are going to cheat!"
Peter frowned, and so did James, Sirius whimpered slightly.
"So dum" He muttered "We, If you don't lose another brain cell before we get into the room, are going to feed McGonagall another dose of laxatives, wizard style, and then get Lilys test, change her answers, so she fails!"
"Good 'un!" James said happily "Where's Remus?"
"In there, he didn't want to skive, so I 'wired' as the muggles say, him up so that if he twitches his arm, this long piece of string travels over to Lily's back (oblivious to her) and shocks the crap out of her!" Sirius laughed evilly.
"What?!" James whimpered "Remus was happy to do this?!"
"No" Sirius said simply "He doesn't know what he's doing" He laughed as Lily yelped, "You know, you'd think that you would be trying to help her!" James groaned and rocked back and forth.
"That's it, im going to help her!" He said, standing up into some kind of superman pose.
"No, you're not!" Sirius said, yanking him back down "James mate, two facts about life: One. The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity"
"Shut up, and two. A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn." Sirius shuddered "Found that one out just last week!" James groaned.
"What the hell does this have to do with the situation?!" He asked, Sirius smiled at him.
"Nothing, but it gave us long enough to tie you up" James looked at his hands.
"What the hell?!" He yelled "What is it with you and tying people up?!" Sirius shrugged.
"Not sure, but its fun!"
The bell rang, and Sirius and Peter together pulled the invisibility cloak over James, and watched as Lily walked out.
"You know, I know that you'll think I'm mad, but I kept on getting all these little shocks during that test" Lily said to her friends "I think it may have been a sign"
Sirius laughed "Come on!" He hopped into the room, smiling at Professer McGonagall as he did so.
"And why weren't you in my test, Mr Black?" She shrieked.
"Oh crap" Sirius muttered to Peter, "I forgot about this part…"
"Well, this is funny, I think you'll like it!" He smiled "You see, we saw this…frog, and it…took-my wand? Yeah. So, we thought that, well, we couldn't let it do that, and we…chased it, like… yeah" He nodded "Amused?" He whimpered as her nostrils turned a pale white, "Fuck"
"9 o' clock" Peter added.
"Here" Sirius nodded "Got it, but try this" He waved a pack of chocolates in front of her "They're extra Laxitivy!"
"Sirius!" Peter nudged him.
"I mean…galaxy?" He said, trying to sound truthful.
"Well, I" McGonagall paused and took one; slowly biting into it "I could swear" She stopped and sprinted off.
"Ha ha!" Sirius yelled triumphantly "I knew it!"
He walked over to McGonagall's desk, and rifled through a bunch of test papers.
"Mrs Evans" Peter said, on the over side of the room "Sirius, the papers are here"
"Oh, I knew that" Sirius said quickly, walking over to Peter, and taking it off him.
He looked at Lilys answers, and then at the answer booklet that he stole many years ago.
"Right, so she's got some right, but that can easily be changed!" He smiled, scribbling in new answers "And now to wait until tomorrow!"
"Hurry up!" James muttered, flicking his quill.
"Wow James, I can't believe you're excited for this lesson!" Remus smiled.
"Yeah, well" James groaned, "I need this!"
Sirius laughed "James, two more facts of life!"
"One! If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!" Sirius smiled.
"And two: Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn."
"How are these helpful?!" James snapped at Sirius, who shrugged.
"It passed the time didn't it? Remus, stop worrying, remember: Paranoids are people, too; they have their own problems. It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid, too. Yep!"
"Shut up Sirius" Remus grumbled, as they sat down in the classroom, he fumbled around in his bag "Crap, I cant find my book!"
"Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them." Peter said happily
"Helpful" Remus said.
They all looked up as the teacher entered the room, and with a flick of her wand, the papers were passed out, the marauders all looked at Lily.
"Dun dun dunnnn!" Sirius whispered into Lilys ear.