He finally smiles again

Misstress Hanako

Walking up to the church that held so many memories of me and her. The memories of love, affection, and hurt. Her smile always surpresses against mines. Everything I loved, was built into her. She was my world. The senslessly romatic dates we had, were now memories. I threw it all away. It was my fault she wasn't here anymore. I looked at the entrance of the church. I could still see her figure standing there, smiling at me childishly. Her beautiful raven hair cascaded around her body, and her beautiful brown chestnut eyes, staring straight into my amber ones.

She'd carry a bouquet of flowers in her arms. They, too were delicate like her. She was fragile, captivating...and I didn't even know why I broke her. I let my selfishness over came me, and in the end...her smile was always on the back of my mind. Everything about her was to love, everyone loved her.

And she left...

Knowing that I would still be apart of her memories. I knew she couldn't take this as much as I. I was stupid. I, myself couldn't believe my own actions. Leaving her in the mist of the night, going to her sister...One day she was bound to find out. I took that risk, and now in the end...I'm feeling like a lowly dog, not obiedient to its master. The master whom had loved it so dearly...tenderly.

I keep telling myself that in the back of my mind, she would come back. Into this very church, where we first met. The place where she handed me a flower, to cherish. Telling me this...

"A flower is like a person, delicate yet firm. They can easily be stomped on, or taken cared of. The way they are treated, depends on how your characteristics are. Just like people..."

Her beautiful angelic voice had whispered that to me as she prayed to the holy heavens. My response was, "simply beautiful." And she turned to me, smiling sofly...as the sun's rays were kissing her gorgeous porcelain skin. Saying...

"Who? Me or the delicate quote I just gave you?"

The childish antics she had, made it's way to my heart. I appeared at the church every sunday, only to find her there...praying to the holy heavens. As days, weeks, years past by...I began to become close to her. Only to have her take my heart away more. She was the most spontaneous person I've ever met. The way she thought, it was a whole different story.

As we became close, I didn't know what overcame me. We became so close, she introduced me to her family. And with no doubt, I met her mature, gorgeous sister. Everything went spiral, I began to spend less time with the woman I came to grew fond of, and spent more time with her more mature, yet serious sister.

I didn't see that smile every Sunday anymore. The innocence that use to linger in my presence was now gone. I became undoubtedly tainted with pleasure from her sister. Even though that beautifully, innocent woman was still on my mind...I never thought it would lead to her leaving me behind.

She soon knew what was going on. The way I started to treat her, the cold bitterness in my voice. I was beginning to sound tainted with evil...it was like I was the devil and she was the angel. The angelic, innocent smile she had. Nomatter what, at the end of each day...she would make sure to have showned it to me. Though at the time, I didn't savor it.

We already were together, but she was useless to not know that I had began lying to go to her sister. Somehow I had a feeling she knew, but she was always a forgiving person. And I took her feelings for granted. How could I? I was self-centered. It finally came to an end as she and I spent a night over in her new house. She took my hands, brushing her delicarte hands against mines. Smiling childishly and taking me to the kitchen table and setting it there. There, her smile ended...and for the first time in my life, did I see someone frown so innocently.

"InuYasha...I know you are having an affair with my sister. And I forgive you for that, I was selfish to let you stay with me. So I decided that buying this house for you two, it would be my present for congratulating you both!"

She sounded so happy, yet hurt was evident in her voice. I smiled weakly, and yet frowned at her words. No, she wasn't selfish for letting me stay with her. I was the selfish one for not realizing how much she meant to me. She was my everything and I, myself took that away.

A few days after I got aquainted with the house, I saw her luggages. She told me, in order for her to move on with life...it was to not see me anymore. I was self-strucked at her words. That girl...she was leaving me. It became one of my fears as she smiled, innocently and childishly.

I was just standing at her doorway as she packed her belongings into her luggage. Shock took over me. I didn't know what to do. Her leaving me, everything was to come to an end if she was gone. She was the only thing that kept me going, as far as I realized that. Her sister, she was mere infatuation. As she placed the sweater I got her on christmas in the suitcase, I finally realized. This woman I grew fond of, she was the one to melt my heart. She put up with my play boyish antics. My egotistical attitude. And accepted me for who I was.

Now she was going to leave. At the thought of those words, I felt like I was dying. I finally realized it then, that I have grown to love her. Her childish behavior. That beautiful, gorgeous innocent smile she gave everyone even though she, herself was hurting inside. It was because of me. I was the cause of her troubles, and now I had begun to realize. She was leaving because she, herself had gotten to fall in love with me. And if she was in my way...it would ruin my happiness. But no, she was wrong. I needed her.

Right then and there, I grabbed her shoulders up and stared at her wide, shocked expression. Her eyes. Her slightly parted lips. My determination growing. My teeth gritted at the thought of losing this special woman. I shouted at her for being an idiot. For thinking I'm not happy. And finally, I shouted saying I love her.

She shook her head, slightly getting back her composure. She told me these words...

"Don't feel sorry for me, InuYasha. Even though I grew to love you, you wouldn't love me back. You love my sister remember? No matter how hard you try to convice yourself to love someone out of pity, it would only hurt yourself and that person. I don't want to become someone you pity. I want to be a friend that will always help you through rough times."

Her words. They were so simply yet complicated. It was so full of pure happiness. She didn't know that I loved her, not her sister. She was being ironic because those words were suppose to be based on her sister. I loved her yet pitied her sister. It was kind of miraculous.

After that event, I let her go. Even to my heart's dscontent. I just didn't send her off with her family. I couldn't stand depatures. Especially from the ones I loved. I never talked to her sister again. Everything about her sister and I were through. I started my life over, as a business man. Coming to the church we first met, every Sunday. Praying to holy heaven that maybe, just maybe...I would get to see that angel again.

She was always so committed. So dedicated in making the sitaution better when everyone knew that it was horrible. Always smiling to us, leaving with that cheerful extended smile. And yet, I...I was the one that broke her angelic wings. Even though she didn't show it or it wasn't evident. I had this strange feelings...she was tearing apart because of myself.

And I didn't do anything about it. I let her hurt...and now I was hurt. I never realized how much I needed her until now. My dear gods, beautiful gorgeous woman...come back to me. It took me a few weeks, months, years to get over her. Even though now, it was four years of the making...four years since I had smiled.

Her very smile is in the back of my head.

Those words she said to me when we first met.

"A flower is like a person, delicate yet firm. They can easily be stomped on, or taken cared of. The way they are treated, depends on how your characteristics are. Just like people..."

It was so sudden, yet true. She was the flower and I was the one tending to it. I treated her so horribly that in the end, she wilted up. I didn't make her grow anymore...I blamed myself for the way I treated this woman. No one else. Though her sister knew that I had take a liking to that woman, her sister didn't care. Even if they were siblings. It hurt knowing that I was apart of this scheme.

The feeling of guilt was in my stomache.

I never understood that woman though. Why she was always so cheerful, or why she was always smiling. But it never got to me to ever ask her that. Why? I don't know.

Right now, I sit in the alter. Praying, too deep in thought to realize someone was creeping up behind me. Though I heard footsteps, I thought it was my imagination. Suddenly an aura surrounds me and I become alert, looking around desperately. Only to become face to face with her...her sister.

"You miss her, don't you? It would explain why you come here every Sunday. It's the same place she shares her presence with."

That voice sounded so tainted. I didn't even know why I had become invovled with her. A hand rakes through my silver hair and I smirked abit. I was too ironic. How could someone so innocent and pure love someone so tainted with evil and hurt? I didn't even know why that woman, that beautiful gorgeous woman became involved with me...I'm grateful though. I gave her sister a stern, bold look before answering.

"What's your point? And what if I say I do miss her? What would you do?"

The expression she gives me is not of hate, but of jealousy. It seems that she had intended to hurt her little sister from the start, or even before I met her.

"What's so special about Kagome? What qualities does she contain that I don't have, InuYasha? Tell me! I want to be loved also."

In desperation, I could feel her pain. That plea. Why was she begging to know the qualities of others? It was idiotic. If someone doesn't love you for your quatlities, they weren't worth your time. And that was when it hit me. That woman, that innocently childish woman...Kagome. She had loved every bit of me, and I turned her down. So in the end, she left...because she didn't want to spend her time waiting anymore.

Yes, I was ironic. Indeed.

"There is no better quality then just being yourself. In life, there will be someone who loves you for yourself. Even if it's not coming up shortly. You shouldn't rush love, it comes to you. And if someone doesn't love you for your own special qualities...they aren't that perfect one. You, of all being...the mature, serious one should know that. Your sister, Kagome...she had the quality of being her innocent self. That's why people loved her. Now it's time to figure out who you really are, Kikyo. You need to be yourself to let others love you for you."

I spoke these words to her. And she complied. Nodding knowing that I was right, in some sense. I turn back to pray at the alter...when I hear footsteps again. Thinking it's Kikyo, I simply shrug her off.

"Didn't I tell you already, Kikyo? Or do you need me to repeat myself?"

This was becoming annoying to me. Why was that woman bothering me? I had a life too. I was disappointed on what I saw in that woman. Sure she was beautiful, but she didn't know how to be herself...and by not being yourself. You aren't accepting who you are.

"Now, I'm Kikyo and not that 'simply beautiful' word you uttered?"

That voice...that angelic voice. I turned. Eyes widen and shocked. It was her. The angel that the holy heavens sent down to me. She was standing at the door way. Holding another bouquet of flowers in her arms. They were of daisies, lilies, and roses. Her hair was up in a pony tail and she was wearing a pink sweater and red dress.

Looking alot older, yet...still young. I didn't know what to think. Whether to feel blessed that the woman of my life was back or to feel scared she might leave once again.

"Kagome..."

That name...it finally was uttered to her. She was breathe taking and I didn't stand the urge to take her into my arms that instant. The flowers she was holding now drops around us as I twirl her into the sky. She giggled softly and I placed her down before crushing her against my feeling of her body against mine...it felt like we were meant for eachother. I didn't know what to say...or what to think. I was speechless.

"How come you came back? I thought you said you were to be able to move on with life if you were to leave?"

I was being restless. Asking so many unanswered questions. Hoping she'd be the prayer and answer them all. She knew that me and Kikyo were never meant to be. That's why she's here right? She looked at me and gave me that same smile. She never lost it, has she? Stil the same woman I became fond of. Yes...and I'm real grateful.

"Yes, I had move on with life. But I realize that I couldn't go on as much, without you by my side...InuYasha. Even though it's been four years...would you still take me back? And let us continue where we left off?"

That made my day. I crush her again against my chest and whisper loving words to this woman. She didn't know how she made me feel just simply asking me this. I was bound to ask her sooner or later to stay with me. I needed her...Yes, I needed her.

"About Kikyo and I..-"

And she shut me off with a simple kiss on the lips. It was chaste but it was still mouth devouring. It was to assure me that, she knew about us. That she would stay with me nomatter what...and I smiled. For the first time in four years...

four long years with out this woman...this flower woman that I grew fond of, and grown to love.