75Wow..I am so so so so so so sorry! I realize that it has been forever since I updated this story and I just hope I didn't lose any of you readers out t there because of it. My life has just been really hectic with school, swimming, friend stuff, and decorating our entire house for Christmas before Thanksgiving is even here…ahah. But yes I do realize I am a horrible updater and I hope this chapter just makes up for it. Thanks for sticking by this story.
Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill because if I did Pucas wouldn't be together, Sophia Bush would actually be able to showcase her true acting talent and Lucas wouldn't be calling Peyton 'Pretty Girl.' But I must say that the last episode was amazing. I love love love Brulian and I hope they get together…because we all know that BRUCAS is NEVER happening ever again…sigh. Oh and I HATE Owen he is such an ass.
Flashbacks are in italics
What is Love? – Chapter 9
BROOKE's POV
I find myself throwing as many of my clothes as possible into the biggest duffle bag I could find without sobbing. It's hard because I stumble upon one of Nathan's old basketball jerseys. It stills smells like him and I remember the reason he gave it to me. It was the first night we spent apart from one another. Dan and him were going to a Charlotte Bobcats game and they were going to have to spend the night in Charlotte.
Flashback – Brooke and Nathan are 8 years old
Dan and Nathan had both of their coats and hats on, suitcases in hand. They're about to walk out the door and to Nathan's first NBA game, but Nathan looks at me and sees the unshed tears in my eyes. He lays his suitcase on the ground and unzips it, pulling out an adult, over-sized Charlotte Bobcats jersey. He runs as fast as his little feet will take him and shoves the jersey into my hands.
"I can't take this," is my reply to his kind action.
"Brookie, when you miss me put this on and it will be like I'm not even gone... C'mere," He wraps his little arms around me, then lifts up my arms and slides the jersey over my head. It falls limply over my shoulders because it's so big. He hugs me one more time then leaves with Dan. I wore the jersey all night and the next day. I thanked him in the morning and pulled it over my head, but he told me, "Keep it. Whenever we're separated you can wear it and you won't miss me anymore."
End Flashback
As I am jolted back to reality I find myself clutching onto the jersey for dear life. I pull it over my head, but this time, I'm missing him more. I can never stay mad at him for long, but I'm too stubborn to seek him out first. Quiet sobs wrack my fragile body as I finish packing and leave my abode. Walking out the front door to the driveway I try to find my car, but realize that it is still in the parking lot of my dance studio. 'Guess I'm walking,'
On this Tuesday afternoon there is no movement in my neighborhood. Everything is quiet except for the shuffling of my feet on the pavement and the sniffling I'm trying to desperately stop. After aimlessly walking around my small town I find myself opening the rot-iron gates to the cemetery. I make my way down the gravel path I've taken so many times and rub my arms with my hands, as a cool breeze hits my body. I drop my duffle to the soft ground and sit Indian style in front of her grave. I trace the words carved into the grey stone describing my beloved mother.
"Mom…God I miss you so much. There are so many things I need you here for. Our family has fallen apart ever since you left. Nathan and I had a huge fight, I moved out earlier today and I don't know where I'm going to go. Whenever Nathan and I got in a fight you always fixed it, whether it be over who got the remote or who got to eat the last piece of cake. It's bigger this time. It was over a boy, Lucas. You would love him. He's not like any of the other boys I brought home. He likes me for who I am, but Nathan won't even give him a chance. Nathan doesn't understand that I need Luke. He has made me happier than I have been in the past two years. I'm trying to get better mom, but I don't understand how Dan and Nathan have moved past what happened to you already. You're still not here…I need you here," I fall to the ground, trying to be as close to Ma as possible.
Just running the grass through my fingers makes me feel a little closer to her. I feel a tear drip out of my eye, but I wipe it away before it hits the ground, before mom can see it. I feel my eyes start to droop, and I fall asleep.
I wake up to a dark sky and the rustling of the night security man, who takes a walk through the graveyard. I look at my phone and see that it is seven o'clock. I must've fallen asleep. I lift my head up off the dirt then stand up completely. I wipe the small trail of saliva that is coming from my mouth and the dirt and grass from my cheek. Touching her headstone one more time, I bring my hand to my lips then place it on the top of it, "I love you mom," I whisper.
Picking my bag up, I sling it over my shoulder one more time and exit the cemetery. I walk the familiar route to Tree Hill High School. Once I make it to the back door I pull a bobby pin out of my hair and stick it in the key whole. The bobby pin twists and turns in different directions until a click is heard. I push the silver door open and shut it quickly behind me.
They're a variation of different cars in here. Some are more taken apart then others and I search until I find one that is pretty much intact. Opening the trunk of a beat up Woody I find a bunch of tools. I empty the trunk as quietly as possible then throw my duffle bag inside. I hop in the trunk and close the door. Using my duffle bag as a pillow I find myself falling into a restless, very uncomfortable sleep.
Early the next morning…Tree Hill HS
"Ugh," I groan as I sit up and hit the top of my head on the roof of the car. "Ouch," I rub my forehead and feel the beginning of a nice bump starting to form. I flip over, so I'm sitting on my knees and unzip my bag. I pull out a pair of black sweat pants, black tank top, my red Ed Hardy zip-up hoodie, my toothbrush and toothpaste. Climbing over the seats I exit the car through the driver's side. My clothes are clutched to my chest and all of my weight is on the balls of my feet as I leave the room I slept in the night before. I don't exactly know in the school where I am, so I walk down the long, hallway that is only lit by the small amount of sunlight seeping through the small windows. I make a sharp turn around the corner, but quickly retract my steps and hide when I see Haley unlocking the Tutor Center with Nathan behind her.
'What the hell,' I thought as my eyebrows furrowed together. Nathan's probably telling Haley of our current situation, unless they're totally getting it on which would be so gross considering Haley is pretty much my sister. 'Ew.' Anyways, I find a janitor's closet, go inside and change my clothes. Brushing my teeth will have to happen later. When leaving the janitor's closet I turn around and shut the door as quietly as possible. As I once again turn in the other direction to high tail it out of there I run into a strong, broad chest that I am very familiar with.
"Nathan, ugh, what the hell are you doing here?" I'm still very upset with him being here to possibly spy on me, or to hook up with Haley, I don't know which one is worse.
"Brooke do not give me that. I was worried when I came home and you were gone. I didn't actually think you were going to leave, I thought we were going to have a couple days where we didn't talk and then things were going to go back to normal. When I knocked on you bedroom door, no one answered and I didn't hear any of your emo music blaring from you speakers, I knew then. I walked into your room and saw your draws were empty I knew you were gone." He takes a step forwards, but I immediately take a step back, so my back is pressed against the door to the janitor's closet. I see a frown form on his face when he sees that I coil away from him.
"Way to go Sherlock Homes. You figured everything out didn't you. Now that you discovered where I slept why don't you tell me why the fuck you're here with Haley. You two hooking up?" I spit out the last part with such venom.
"Brooke," God I know that mousey voice, "Brooke, look this is the only place Nathan and I could meet cause he didn't want to be in the house and have Dan find out anything and I had to do some work in the Tutor Center. Brooke you know I don't see Nathan that way, and even if I did, if you weren't okay with us seeing each other then I wouldn't, my friendship with you matters way to much." Why does she always have to be right?
"Um…I gotta go," I tried to leave as quickly as possible, but Nathan's reflexes were too quick.
"Brooke, wait," he pulls me back so I'm standing in front of him. My eyes are glued to the tile floor. "Brooke, look at me," I don't. I keep my eyes where they are. "Brooke come on." I slowly raise my head as if it weighs 200 pounds and slowly our gazes are locked.
"I'm just going to go work on some stuff at the Tutor Center, I'll see you two later," Haley replied as she made her way around the corner, back down the hallway and to the Tutor Center.
"Brooke, come on. We can work this out can't we? And even if you don't think we can, you have to come back home!"
"Why is that Nathan?"
"Because you are sleeping in our school. Ok, that is why and because if you don't come home then, God damn it Brooke. I'm only trying to do what is best for you. Not having any idea where you were last night freaked the hell out of me ok! The last time you were out all night and I had no clue where you were, was when you were almost raped by that fucking asshole you called your boyfriend two years ago." He was starting get really upset, I could tell because he was running his hands through his hair and pacing back and forth.
"Nate that was a long time ago. I've have grown up in the past two year, I'm more cautious now. And you can't keep using that as an excuse to fucking not give me space to breath. Yes, he was my boyfriend at the time, ok and I hate to say it but I loved him at some point. Somewhere along the way he got abusive and I didn't even realize it until that night. I thank you everyday for finding me before he," I can't even say it, "…but I'm not that irresponsible, incompetent girl anymore Nate."
"You're right, you're absolutely right. But it's my job as your older brother to protect you from situations and people that I know will hurt you."
"You mean like Lucas," I state.
"Yes like Lucas. Brooke he is no different then the dozens of guys you have brought home and claimed were different. In the end, they all hurt you the same and I was always there to pick up the pieces. I don't want to see you like that again Brooke."
"I'm not some fragile China doll that is going to break the minute someone mishandles it. I'm stronger than that. It really hurts me that you can't see that I'm stronger than I was a month ago, hell, stronger than I was two years ago. Though I haven't gotten everything back, I'm on my way. Lucas has helped me, and the fact you won't accept that, shows me that you never truly knew me at all. Nate this isn't some trivial fight that we can get over. Until you except that Lucas is going to be a prominent person in my life, I can't associate with you. It hurts too much to know that when I look in your eyes, ands see the person I thought knew everything about me really doesn't. It's like looking into the eyes of a stranger." With that I manage to get away from the situation at hand. Once I get further down the hallway and round the corner I stop, and lean against the cold wall.
For the umpteenth time this morning tears are streaming down my face as I try to quiet the sobs I know are going to explode out of my mouth. I fall to the ground and let my feet fling out in front of me. I thought I was finally getting my life back on track, but I just feel like my life is spiraling out of control, once again. I can no longer rely on the one person who I could always trust, who always had my back. It just hurts, everything hurts.
AN 2: I didn't realize how tragic I make Brooke seem. At the end of each chapter it just seems like something bad is always happening to her. I will try to make my chapter less played out, but I figured it was finally time I gave you guys something, so here it is. I hope it wasn't too much of a disappointment.