I'll give you ::counts on fingers, then holds up six fingers:: five guesses.
Told in the POV of our furry friend that (almost) everyone loves : Pikachu. Funness.
If I had an option, I'd rather not post this... ::whimper::
*Author*: Destiny Fox.
*Posted*: When fixed that problem... or when I get a new internet provider (I hate STD)...
*Rating*: PG - Low level course language, sexual references. How *does* a Pikachu have sex with an Arbok?
*Dedication*: that too cool someone who said Pikachu +... something... sounded cute... ::sweatdrop:: once I remember your name, I'll change it here. You were the only one to reply to my post (forum, ppl)!
*Listening to*: Turn Out the Lights by Nelly Futardo. Love that girl! She kicks Poké-ass!
*Time*: about 4am. What kind of loser would wake up at 4am? A loser like me...
*Eating*: Ice-cream. At four in the morning?! You're laughing at me now, aren't you? I've got a sore throat.
I SOO have to apply that little thing above to all my fics. It looks neater. A lot neater. And it's more interesting than me flabbing my gums.
Have you ever been in love? You know, that *like* like thing that my master, Ash, and Misty keep saying they're not in - even though they are. Baka humans...
:+: r.e.g.r.e.t :+:
But that's just not fair. Can Pokémon fall in love? Sure, humans can, but... what about Pokémon? Have you *ever* seen two creatures of my sort cuddle against one another in a moment of passion? With the exception of those Nidoran, of course. I bet they were just faking it to get their trainers together because they were too pissed to put up with that arguing any longer. Don't blame `em. Sort of like Ash and Misty.
I feel damn jealous.
At least they're together in holy matrimony - unlike me and my cuddle pie, whom I can't get close enough to, even a hug, without being either:
1. Totally humiliated - courtesy of Meowth.
3. Or bitchslapped. (Poison-Stung)
Yes, I like a poison Pokémon - give me one non-poison Pokémon that uses Poison-Sting other than Beedrill. Tell me I have bad taste or that she's too good for me, but I love her. Let's think of the possibilities, babe:
· Can't be any of my masters's.
· Or his girlfriend's.
· Or even his blind friend's.
· Heh, not even Meowth, who wanted me to join Team Rocket (I would've gladly accepted if I weren't asleep on that precise moment - in which nothing of *that* sort happened). Plus, the cat's a guy. And I'm not gay. I mean - a homosexual... I'm almost always happy - almost. And my true love's a girl...
· On the topic of Team Rocket, let's move onto their Pokémon. Not Likitung, Wobbuffet or Victreebell.
That leaves two, ladies and gentlemen: Ekans/Arbok and Koffing/Weezing. Let's scrap Weezing and that leaves Arbok, because Weezing doesn't have fangs or a stinger... (No, I didn't mean 'Weezing doesn't have a stinger' as a sign to say that he's a girl. He's a he.)
Yes, Arbok. The beautiful snake Pokémon whose scales dazzle in the sunlight like jewels. With eyes, like twin mirrors to her soul. Yet, I only see the girl only when her master has the time to allow her precious Pokémon into battle. And that's almost never, since Ash tells me to Thundershock her and her partner into annihilation - before I even get to see the PokéBall. Or hear that motto *again.*
... What's that? Why do I give them an electric shock every time I see the red R? It's called instinct, guys. Also, it would, like, *totally* ruin the show reviews if Team Rocket wins. It's what the kiddies expect - because, after all, they *are* the bad guys.
You know, I hate Thundershocking Team Rocket. Even if they *do* try to steal me... I always feel something like a gunshot tear through my heart. That's all because of Arbok...
I once thought of hooking Ash up with the redhead Rocket babe in hopes of getting my true love and I together - with unsuccessful results. It had something to do with a letter from a secret admirer and roses. I was thinking along the lines of Where Art Thou Pokémon? If it worked for them Nidoran, why not us?
Ash thought the note was from Misty and started taunting her all the next week. She slapped him multiple times across the face to drill it into his skull that she hated him - for the time being. But I don't want to be with Togepi for the rest of my life!
Now that they're thinking about admitting their undeniable love for each other, I don't think Ash would take time to think about what's best for me. Some master...
And Jessie? Well, from what I heard from Meowth, she pranced right up to James and passionately kissed him square on the lips. Tongue and all, peeps. (Roses were such a bad choice of flowers, especially when it came to pairing up Ash and Jessie... and I should've signed that note with Jessie's name instead of just 'love from, your secret admirer.') Now she thinks that James is her true love - and he probably is -, and since now they want to make babies the physical way, that, sort of, totally ruins my plan. Unless Meowth can build me a body morphing machine by the wedding. Not that he could...
On the subject of babies, what would a Pikachu cross Arbok be? ... I'll just jot this down... Pikachu ears... fangs... long purple neck... Arbok hood... Pikachu tail and body with purple features... ::looks at the description before himself, draws a picture and bites bottom lip nervously:: ... ugh... nasty. Maybe reproduction isn't really up our alley. Maybe we can adopt...
How *does* a snake and a mouse have sex anyway? Without the snake eating the mouse beforehand... That would be hard. But to see her having my monged ** (AN: scroll down for meaning) offspring... priceless. If I cut out the corner of the photo in which Ash and Jessie are fighting over who keeps the babies, it'll look nice when framed. *If* we get together.
You're getting bored, aren't you? Give me a topic to dicuss... no, not more reproduction. Geez...
What I think of Weezing?
Hate him. I think Arbok actually *likes* him in a boyfriend sense now, because he *did* protect her from Chikorita's razor leaf. I could just Thundershock him at a million volts for that. Trying to steal something that should be mine... but isn't... It really isn't my fault that because Jessie and James fell for each other, Arbok and Weezing had to too.
I just feel jealous that he's with her 24/7. They cuddle *all* the time, now. Whether it out of fear or joy - they *have* to cuddle.
I guess it's a master - Pokémon thing...
I still remember the first time we met. Properly. No Team Rocket. No 'twerps.' No pissed Pikachu. And definitely no fried snake.
Just her and me. Alone.
We all know the time when I-ugh... *we* were on that island, where there were these big Pokémon, but they weren't big Pokémon because they were big machines. Yeah... she was just an Ekans then. What a long time ago...
Ekans wiped away a few tears from her eyes with her tail. "I miss her," she sobbed.
We were seated on an overhanging cliff, above the mayhem that brewed below.
The others (Bulbasaur, Squirtle, Charmander and Koffing) were back at our makeshift camp getting ready for the night's sleep.
I knew who she was crying about. But decided let her explain the situation fully, just in case I said something offensive towards Team Rocket.
"Miss who?" I asked, placing a paw to her back, trying to help her regain composure.
Ekans sighed, before letting another tear fall to the ground. "Master..." She missed her master? I guess you could say that she'd only listen to her, or maybe her partner, James as well.
"You mean..." I paused before letting the name slip out of my mouth. To Ash, the names of our enemies were forbidden in our happy world where we always have enough food. Always win. Always have friends. Ash only uses those names whilst explaining/complaining to Officer Jenny/Nurse Joy, or addressing them - which he very very rarely does. "Jessie?"
She nodded lightly.
Now she knows how I'd feel if I had been torn away by Team Rocket. But I couldn't say *that* in front of her. Who knows what she'd do...
"I guess Koffing misses Ja-... his master too," I bowed my head and let out a breathy sigh.
"Yeah..." She mimicked my action. In return, I allowed her to bury her head into my arms and sob as much as she liked. I liked that.
Her tears stained my furry yellow coat, but I didn't care. Only she and I existed.
I'll admit that. But I won't admit the swell of emotion that swept through me like a tsunami. Her master is my master's rival. Sorta like Romeo and Juliet, except I'll make sure we don't die in the end.
"Don't worry," I soothed, running a paw over her shiny skin, "I know how you feel."
Without a word, she pulled her face out of my chest, without letting me let go of her.
"Please tell me we'll find our masters again," she pleaded, lifting her head to gaze into my chocolate brown eyes with her own golden one's. They held what I never saw in anyone's eyes before. "Please..."
She trusted me with all her heart.
I noticed another thing: Our. Not my. Or me. Our. I remember Jessie and James on some occasions refer to their ownership towards Ekans and Koffing... as both of theirs having possesion over both Pokémon. As if they shared the two between them. It must be a master -Pokémon thing as well.
"We'll see tomorrow," I whispered. A single tear rolled down a violet cheek as I gave my answer. She lowered her head onto my shoulder effortlessly.
I didn't know what to think. To find Ash and the gang, or... not. If they did find us, I would surely be torn away from the one I love - and be with my best friend and master. But if we weren't found, I wouldn't have Ash - but have my true love. A mix of feelings was being hammered into my heart. I squeezed my eyes shut and wrapped my arms tighter around her soft, slender body.
"Thank-you," she said, pulling away from me and blinking away a salty, crystalline tear. I looked up and tilted my head, confused.
"For what?" I asked, baffled.
She simply smiled, the moonlight reflecting in her eyes. "For being there for me," she sighed, laying her head on my shoulder once again. I exhaled audibly, before grinning broadly.
"You're welcome," I replied softly.
I miss that moment... I wanted to hold in my arms forever, like we were one... one soul... one Pokémon... I wish I didn't love her - it would make my existence a lot more bearable... but I do.
And there's *nothing* I can do about it...
** - monged : the shortened form of mongulated. It means, to be demented or distorted. A word commonly used by my male friends, James (not the Pokémon/Team Rocket James) and Glenn. If I said boyfriends, you might think the wrong thing...
*Note from the Fox*: I *might* continue this... don't plead or anything, because I might not be able to get around to doing so...
~ Destiny Fox