I rediscovered this poem today, in an old envelope in the basement. I wrote it for a competition a while ago, and part of it ended up being published. So I decided to rewrite it (I used to be a horrible, horrible poet, and probably still am, actually :-) and post it here. It's not really fan fiction, per se, and I can't seem to get FF to format the spaces correctly, so I had to put in all these weird periods. But it's a very personal poem that means a lot to me, and if anyone out there reads it, please feel free to tell me what you think. :-)


I Am

.

I am falling.

Falling into a nameless void.

Darkness looms below me now, so close,

That I can almost taste it.

It tastes of weariness.

And despair.

.

Even as I fall into its waiting arms,

I desperately grasp for—

Something—

I do not know what.

Nor can I find it.

.

I am caught in a pointless, empty world,

Rushing headlong into darkness

From which there is no escape.

There can be no escape from this farce—

This game of hypocrisy, where everyone tries to hide

Their vilest natures

Behind whitened walls.

I wish they could see how ugly they are.

But then, I also have a soul to hide.

.

A soul that knows all too well

The many roads leading only to despair—

The endless search for riches and greatness,

The longing for acceptance,

The hunger for wisdom and power,

The thirst for beauty.

At each turn of these well-worn roads,

You will see my footprints,

And the places where my tears have fallen.

.

But is there no road that leads to life?

My eyes search the darkness, wondering,

But I expect no answer.

I am falling

When I was younger, much younger,

Before I knew I was falling

I believed there were such things as peace,

And truth.

I thought that surely, I could find fulfillment, somewhere,

And that the path to love would find me.

But it seems I was wrong, and now—

.

The darkness takes me.

I find it is all too eager a master.

And I cannot help but cry out in fear,

And ask into the darkness, one more time—

Even though it is pointless—

Is there no way that leads to life?

.

.

Then—

Someone answers.

It is a still, small voice.

But it is enough to rend the very heavens…

And my heart.

It answers me,

I Am.

.

I Am the Lord God who created you.

I Am First and Last, and before Me,

There was and is no other.

I Am Lord over all creation,

And I work all things according to my will.

You, and all those before you, have turned away from Me,

And in doing so, you have turned your back on Life.

Know this—

You deserve this darkness that consumes you now.

You deserve to fall into everlasting death.

.

But—

.

I still love you.

More than you could ever imagine.

With everything that I Am,

I still love you.

I did not want you to continue in evil and despair,

So I came to redeem you from the darkness

With my own life.

It was the only way to save you.

I chose to sacrifice myself so that you would be saved.

I let death take me so that it would not take you.

And then I rose again, to raise you to a new life with me.

I alone am the Way to everlasting life,

Which I offer to you freely

If you will only believe, and accept me.

.

I Am everything you have been searching for,

All these years.

I Am hope, love, and peace.

I Am truth, strength, and healing.

It is my great desire to live in you and make you my precious child.

I want to show you who I Am,

And what my plans are for you.

Because I Am God.

And I love you.

Child, come and follow Me.

.

In this way, God has met me.

At my lowest hour, in a night of despair,

He has heard my cry

And shown me a light

That I had been too blind to see.

Oh, God, I am falling—

Not into darkness, but into Your arms.

Please catch me.

.

I believe.