Disclaimer: JAG and its characters are the property of Paramount Pictures, Viacom, CBS, Belisarius Productions, and Donald P. Bellisario. This work is not intended to violate any copyrights they have and is not intended for profit in any way, shape, or form.

Author: Achaon

Spoilers: Several

Classification: Harm and Mac Romance

This is a different twist on the meeting between Mac & Harm during Back in the Saddle.

In this story Catherine Gale doesn't show up.

Rating: T

2300Z

HARM'S APARTMENT

NORTH OF UNION STATION

Harm heard someone knocking at the door. He got up from his chair and opened the door. To his surprise Mac was standing in front of him. He had not seen Mac for almost five months. Not since the Admiral had essentially fired him for going to find her in Paraguay.

"Hi, I took a chance you would be here."

"Where else would I be."

"Out of town, I've left seventeen messages over the last five months."

"Yeah, I guess I've have been gone a lot."

Harm invited Mac in. She was just as beautiful as ever. Her warm brown eyes still made him melt inside.

"Harm, I know you're mad at me."

"I'm not mad at anybody, Mac."

"Oh then, you just decided to move on and leave the rest of us behind."

"Mac, I was just trying to get on with my life. But lately I think Murphy has been in charge"

"I know you're upset with me."

"You don't know anything about what I am feeling, Mac."

"Well I might if you would talk to me."

"If I remember correctly, Mac you told me in Paraguay that there wasn't anything for us to talk about."

Harm had resigned from the Navy to go and rescue Mac in Paraguay. But things went terribly wrong for them. On some level Mac had formed a bond with Webb. She was supposed to be acting as his wife in a CIA operation that went bad. From Harm's point of view she played that part way too well. After he rescued her and Webb from certain death, the tenuous relationship between Harm and Mac went down hill. As they were leaving Paraguay to come back to the U.S. Mac told Harm that their relationship would never work out.

"Well, Harm maybe I was wrong. I mean, I was confused and a little hasty. I'm willing to talk if you are."

"Okay, Mac. I've had a few beers tonight, so maybe I'm just loose enough to tell you what I'm feeling. But remember you asked for it."

"You once asked me what I was willing to give up to have you. Well, I gave up my career, and nearly got killed rescuing you. For most women that would have been enough to at least earn their gratitude, if not their love and admiration; but not you, Mac. I didn't get a kiss, or a hug. Hell, I didn't get a simple thank you."

"Harm, I'm sure I thanked you."

"Well, if you did, I sure as hell don't remember it. Maybe you sandwiched it in between one of your many sarcastic remarks."

"What sarcastic remarks, Harm?"

"Do you really want to hear them? Because I remember every one of them as if it just happened. 'I must need therapy, because I continue to have these conversations with you.' 'Like every other woman you've ever known, she ran for her life.' 'I need very little, but you never figured that out.' Do you want me to go on."

At this point Harm could sense that Mac was feeling uncomfortable, and was on the verge of tears. Part of him wanted to comfort her but he had to get this off his chest, and Harm was having trouble keeping his composure.

She looked at him with those beautiful sad eyes and said, "No."

"When I told you, 'Operating instructions would be helpful.' I wasn't being a smart-ass. I was just trying to figure out what the hell I needed to do to earn your love. I thought you loved me. You told me you loved me on the admiral's porch that night."

"Yes I did, and I meant it, Harm. And you told me that you loved me, too. That was nearly two years ago, and you have not repeated those words to me since."

"Well, that's not all my fault, Mac. We both messed things up after my crash. But damm it, Mac, quitting my job and risking my life to save you should have been more than enough to prove that I loved you. But that wasn't enough for you, was it? I had to be jealous of Webb too."

"And you weren't were you, Harm."

"Yes I was, Mac. I was jealous, I was angry, I was hurt. I was hoping it was just a bad dream, but it was real. I didn't know what to do, so I guess I got defensive and made things worse.

"Oh Harm, I don't know what I was thinking. I was confused. I was torn between my love for you and I guess the sympathy that I felt for Webb. But when you asked me to make a choice of who I wanted to stay with, I chose you. That should have proved to you how I felt?"

"I don't know, Mac. I guess I was so upset that I wasn't thinking clearly. That's why I wanted to postpone the conversation that night. I was afraid I would say some things that I'd regret, and of course I did."

"Well, you don't have the corner on the market for regrets, Harm. I regret that I ever agreed to go on that mission with Webb. It's caused us nothing but pain."

"Is there still an us, Mac?

"If you still love me there is."

Harm got up from his chair and walked over to Mac and pulled her up to him. He put his arms around her and looked in to her beautiful brown eyes.

"Yes I love you. I never stopped loving you, Sarah."

"Oh Harm, and I love you. Can you ever forgive me for the hell I've put you through?"

Harm put his finger under her chin and tilted her head back slightly. Their eyes closed just as their lips met. Her lips parted and invited his tongue to mingle with hers. The sensation was overwhelming. Their hearts were beating furiously and their breathing nearly stopped. It was as if all the years of denial were melting away in that first fiery passionate kiss.

When their lips finally parted, Harm said, "Sarah, I am sorry for being such a coward all these years."

"Why do you say that, Harm?"

"Because, I should have told you how I felt. I should have pursued you and courted you like Brumby did. When I'm flying a Tomcat I'm a risk-taker, but I was afraid of loving you. I was afraid that if something went wrong I would loose you forever and I didn't want that to happen."

"Harm, quit blaming yourself, I made things difficult for us too."

"Maybe, but you had more guts than I did. Back in Australia you tried and I let you down. And I hated myself for refusing to accept your love because I ended up pushing you into Brumby's arms. When I saw you two together it made me sick inside."

"Okay, Harm, that's enough. The past is the past and we can't go back and change it. We can only take care of the present and maybe the future. Now give me one of those flyboy smiles that make me melt inside."

Harm smiled and held her close gently stroking her back. He kisses her sweetly on the top of her head. He began to loose himself in the unique mixture of her perfume and her body's own scent. They found each other's lips again and kissed deeply and passionately.

Then he led her up to his bedroom. She stopped at the side of the bed and began to seductively unbutton her blouse.

"Wait, Sarah. Sit down for a minute. I've dreamed of this moment for a long time. Are you sure you want to do this, because I want this to mean forever."

"I know, Harm. And I want this to be the start of forever. Besides, we have a deal that we need to consummate."

They both got up and began to undress. Mac undressed slow and seductively. First her blouse, then her slacks as she stood before Harm with only her bra and panties. Harm was much faster and was down to his boxers, while he watched her intently as she reached around her back and unhooked her bra. The black lacy material fell away revealing her luscious breasts. Harm had fantasized about her but she was more beautiful in the flesh than he imagined.

Mac slipped her hands under the waistband of his shorts and pushed them down. Then she lay down on the bed and pulled Harm to her. He straddled her as she raised her hips inviting him to remove her panties. His lips kissed her everywhere sending shudders throughout her body. The gentle touch of her hand guided him into her, and they became one.

In the end, they were both physically and emotionally on top of the world.

The End