Yearn.
Yearning. To want something very badly. To desire it. To feel the need to have it, touch it, love it. I have felt this feeling a thousand times over. I have felt it whenever I sleep, eat, breathe. And especially around him.
I'm Kurogane Ginryu. I'm 6' 4" and tan. I've got black, spiky hair and red eyes. People say stuff about them. I don't care. They were my father's eyes, so I'll respect them. Anyway, I live with another family in an apartment building. I sleep in the attic with two children. Orphans. I guess I've adopted them in a way. They didn't have names when I met them, so I named them Syaoran and Sakura; the boy and his 'princess'. The kid told me he had a brother, but he was sold into slavery before he arrived in this country. I couldn't find a suitable name for him.
I work most of the day at a factory. We produce weaponry and armor. I take no pride in the job, but they're so scarce and the money is hard to come by, so I deal with it. I sometimes 'borrow' swords and other weapons away from the collection and practice in the alleyways. I was caught once. Want to see the scars?
I had been working there for half a year when I experienced the greatest amount of yearning in all my life. The manager made us stop production and let the owner of the factory announce that his children and wife were going to be there soon. He told us to clean up and wash. Stupid old bag. I hope he strangles on that fuzzy caterpillar in his sleep. A moustache never looked right on a bald, fat man anyway. All gray and deformed.
Anyway. By the time I had gathered up and threw away all the excess metal, his children and wife were there. The mistress, letting her curls fall around her waist in all its golden glory, was the first to walk in. Following her were the children. Four of them.
A young girl with the same blonde, flowing hair smiled innocently at her identical twin. Both had enormous brown eyes; one's filled with caution, the other's with curiosity. The two boys, another set of twins, came from the rear of the 'herd'. Again, blonde. They had different stances though. One, the older I suppose, was standing up straight and had his arm out to his twin, who was full heartedly clinging to it. The younger, I'm guessing, was shifting his gorgeous blue eyes around the room, nervousness dripping from every inch of his body.
He falsely smiled towards his brother and fidgeted, shaking like a leaf. The poor boy. All the other men and women in the factory were staring at the girls and his twin. He was discarded and left to hang, no, cling to his twin's arm, scared that someone might come and hurt him.
That made me angry.
I didn't know why.
But I was furious.
The boy looked at me… he has to be at least five years younger than me. Geez, now I sound like a pedophile. Anyway, he looked directly in my eye from where he stood on the balcony. And he smiled. A sad, delicate gorgeous smile. My heart froze from the intensity of it and I thought I would cry just seeing it. Of course, all I did was stare back, confused as to why the smile hurt so much for the both of us.
He smiled.
Just for me.
And I yearned to see it again.
Happier.
His eyes drifted to a man behind me and he stiffened. His skin drained itself of its pale complexion and his small smile vanished completely. I turned slowly around to see a guy with black hair pulled into a ponytail. His golden eyes stared up at the boy. He was smiling.
I thought I was going to blow up on him. That isn't a happy smile. That's an "I-want-you-and-I-don't-care-if-you-don't-want-me" smile. I would know. All those times at the bar I learned to categorize these smiles. And I never liked them.
Ever.
I checked out his name plate. 25689. Ashura Totikomi. Ashura. A demon. A monster. A crook. A rival. A bastard. A man not worthy enough to own him. A man I have grown to loath with all my soul. He has to have done something terrible to make such an angelic boy turn so frozen.
He'll pay.
He'll pay.
I turned around to look at the boy, but he was walking out the door. No, I thought, don't leave. At first I thought myself crazy- insane- to even THINK that way about the boy, especially my boss's son. Now I see it as a love I can never explain. Wordless. Hopeless. I'm sure he has no idea how much I love him. I'm sure he has no clue that my heart is bound to his fragile eyes and delicate smile. I just wish I could see him again.
I yearn to see him again.
I yearn to see his true smile.
I have never been so sappy in all my life. Usually, if someone would've told me this, I would've said that a simple "I love you" would cover it. But it can't. I understand why they said "It's so much more…" I understand.
They yearn for them.
Anyway. I went back to work and was thirty minutes back into routine when the boss came in. He called for me and a couple of others. We went, Ashura being one of them.
Damn him.
The five of us were led into the inside of his mansion that's attached to the factory. The pristine yellow walks and the shag red rug carpet mocked us as he talked about being presentable to his mistress. He dressed us in lend out suits and fixed our hair. This was the nicest I ever looked. After that, he dragged us into a room with a huge ceiling painted white with blue flowers. The furniture was a dark blue and so were the curtains. The rug turned navy as we entered.
And there they were. The two pairs of angels and their mother. Our boss told us to bow to his mistress and their children. The golden haired wife smiled at all of us. The four children bowed back. I was the last to bow to their mother, so she leaned forward slightly and stared at my eyes.
Typical.
"Two beautiful men with such unique eyes." She said breathlessly. I glanced at my boss to see his expression. That caterpillar on his face hid his amused smile, but I could tell it was there. That old bag thinks it's funny my eyes aren't natural. Fag. Wait, who was the other…?
Ah.
Ashura.
Oh no.
I turn around to look at the twin boys. One was smiling falsely at another worker. One was sinking into his couch, trying to avoid Ashura's glance.
Something isn't right.
And I'll make him pay for it.
Oh, he'll pay alright.
The mistress asked us to take a seat. We did. The other men sat around the children and madam. I sat away from them. Porcelain people scare me, no matter how beautiful. It's surprising what deepest, darkest fears arise when you're around every day people. I'm beginning to think they aren't people at all.
They seem too much out of place.
Like in a dream.
Or a story.
The boss started talking highly of us. It took me a moment to realize he was going to give us a raise. Good. The kids need more food. That's when he summoned me to the side of his chair. He stood and slapped me hard on the back. Well, lower back. He's like, 5' 2".
"This is my best worker! He's fast, reliable, and strong! He would be a great bodyguard!" He laughed. I cringed. He was hinting at something and I didn't like it.
"The only problem is; he doesn't speak much! He's polite when does, but he's capable of a temper too! Right, Kurogane?" I stare at him, wondering if I should deal with this or not.
That's when the twin scared of Ashura's glance looked at me. I could tell he remembered me, because he lit up, though no smile graced his gorgeous face.
Ashura sees.
He looses his smile too.
Something tells me he doesn't want me to see the twin or even get near him. Maybe the twin will open up more if I did something to prevent Ashura's wishes. The bastard.
"Kurogane-san, I have heard a great deal about you from the officer. Is it true you committed a crime in the west?" The older of the twin girls asked, eyes blazing as the other stared quietly at me.
I shake my head. That was my father. A brave but foolish man. He was a cowboy, true, but he had retreated here after some incident with the police and my uncle. Poor Yasha. My old man and him got into a gunfight at the saloon once and he ended up dying shortly afterwards from an infection. His 'lady' in waiting, Ashura (odd how things work out) cried for days on end until he returned to Japan with the remainder of Yasha's things. I haven't heard from him since.
"Oh? Then what ARE you famous for, Kurogane-san?" The duplicate angel asked, fake smile and all. I turn to him, feeling a cold discomfort swarm over us all. I don't really know what I'm famous for…
"I'm just a man trying to get by…" I mumble. The quiet, frightened cherub cocked his head, looking at me curiously. Is he stupid or something? They're father laughs and slapped me hard again. That almost made me step forward. Fat, ugly, short but incredibly –inhumanly– strong.
"Don't be modest! I'll tell you what he's famous for! He can wield a sword! I know! He received 15 lashes from practicing outside the factory and-"
"Father!" The twin who had interest in me shouted feebly. We all looked at him, confused about his outburst. He shrank back into the couch.
"Yes, Yuui?" Demanded the father, clearly impatient and annoyed by the fact he was interrupted on his speech. Man, the boy surely can derail anyone's train of thought. Yuui… such a beautiful name and a great one for such a lovely person. The angel named Yuui fidgeted.
"Why… did you do that?" He said hardly above a whisper. The father gave him a questioning look.
"He stole! He shouldn't even be handling them outside the factory walls…" My boss continued explaining, but I was tired of hearing him, so I tuned him out. However, the angel's magnificent eyes never left the floor as his father ranted. I felt sorry for him. The boy probably doesn't know how much of a wrong-doer I am. Pity.
"…Anyway, you five are dismissed. The clothes you're wearing you may keep. Ah! Kurogane and Ashura, you stay." And we did.
The other twin sat up straighter and the girls smiled innocently. Their mother sipped her tea as the other three mean were led out. I took my seat again and accidentally let out a growl of annoyance. The girl twins, their mother, Ashura and angel twin II didn't notice, but Yuui did.
And… he smirked.
What.
The.
Hell?
"Kurogane-san, would you care to explain your sword fighting skills?" Asked their mother. I closed my eyes for a second and sighed.
"Sure. What do you want to know?" The angel duplicate smiled wider.
"Ah? Who taught you basics?" Now everyone else was interested. Damn curiosity.
"My father." I said simply. The angel II cocked his head.
"Who was that?" He asked, innocence lathered into the question. Such a dumb thing to assume of me. I know He's trying to act like a little boy and that I'm a dumb man going to answer with the exact words he wants to hear. Hah.
"He's dead." I said, folding my arms. The mistress and the girls gasped as if I had just said a foul work to their "virgin" ears. I bet my boss probably cusses and drinks more than even me. But the twin boys get a look of remorse on their pretty faces and Ashura, who I'm dubbing the bastard, just smiled.
He will die.
He will feel my wrath.
Mocking me and my deceased family.
"I'm terribly sorry for you're loss." Said their mother.
"I was young. It doesn't bother me." I said curtly. Really, it doesn't. I've moved on. Don't dwell on matters that don't need the extra effort. The twin girls just stare at me as I stare at that ground. I can feel their brown eyes on me. They're probably thinking 'hey, he's a criminal with a weird background and weird eyes.' Ha. But alas, I'm just a lovesick fool with no hopes of receiving his Juliet.
Ah.
Juliet.
Yuui, the angel of my life, is my Juliet.
My boss comes back after a long wait. He slaps the bastard on the back just as roughly as he did me. Old, fat, ugly bird. He just needs to have his monical shoved up his ass and his caterpillar waxed out from underneath his nose. He talks about the bastard in high expectations. I don't listen. I stare. I stare at my Juliet until he stares back. His face is smiling, but his heart is crying. His eyes tell me everything I want to know.
He's pleading for help.
He's yearning for freedom.
And I yearn to help him.
He mouths the words "at the tree in the back at 10:00 tonight." I incline my head slightly to signal subtly that I'll be there. The rest of the rantings and slaps and odd questions of the Angel Family vaguely blurs to me now from that night. All I could see was my angel.
My angel.
My Yuui.
My Juliet.