A/N: Soo my lovely beta and I got things sorted out! yep yep :D Anyway enjoy this loverly chapter... :D
Sakura awoke to Sasuke leaning over her. She sat up woozily, rubbing her head. She looked to see Tsunade and Jiraiya in the corner, not looking her in the eye.
"What's going on?" she asked, sitting up.
"You passed out," Sasuke whispered.
"Why?" Sakura asked, her voice confused.
"Because you found out that Naruto was your half brother slash cousin, that your father cheated on your mother with her sister and that your aunt and I are really... your aunt and uncle," Jiriya stated blankly.
"Oh.. that." Sakura stood up shakily. "You need to explain that to me."
Tsunade looked up at her for the first time since she woke up. "Your father - my dear brother - was in love with your mother. Minato.. he wanted to marry her from the moment he saw her. But the circumstances in which they met wouldn't allow it."
"How did they meet?" Sakura asked, still a bit faint.
"At the meeting between your mothers' clan and your fathers' to arrange his marriage to Kushina," Tsuande stated. "Kushina understood that your father loved your mother, and she understood that your father loved her as well. He was torn between two women. He secretly went out to meet your mother when he said he would be at work.
"Shortly after his marriage to Kushina, Hana was born. Kushina knew it was your father's daughter, she bore a considerable resemblance to Minato. She never uttered a word of it to anyone and your mother kept the secret as well. Then your mother was pregnant again, with you..." She smiled softly.
"Kushina saw that her sister was growing heavy with child again, and asked Minato for a son, he obliged, and Naruto was born. After your mother died, Minato could not stand the site of your sister and you, he was constantly reminded of his love. He returned to Naruto and Kushina, and left you with the money you would need and in the care of myself. After the accident Minato's family found out abut the affair and wanted to make sure you were never heard about. They sent you to live with him... and I never slept another night. when I got your call I was so happy. I thought you had forgotten me." She caressed Sakura's cheek. "It took everything in my power to not hug you when I saw you on my doorstep, fretting about your clothes."
Sasuke tried to take this all in while Sakura cried in her Godmother's arms.
"So, you are related to the dobe?" he finally asked.
She pulled from her godmother and nodded. "I need to see him now."
Sasuke nodded and stood up.
"Ahh Baa-chan, you're out of my favourite soap!" Naruto walked from the stairs dressed in only a towel. "And do I smell potatoes?"
Everyone looked at him and Sasuke thought on how convenient his entrance was.
"What are you doing here?" Sasuke asked.
"Ahh, Hina-chan refuses to let me in my apartment." He frowned and pulled up his towel. "What are you guys doing here? And why is Sakura-chan crying?"
Sakura smiled widely. "NARU-KUN!"
He grinned. "Ah Hi Saku-chan!" He rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand.
"Naruto, you can quit the act." Jiraiya stated, standing up. "She knows."
"About?" Naruto asked, completely lost.
"Minato and Kushina." Jiraiya stated.
"Ahhh, mom and dad." He smiled then frowned. "What about them?"
"I never told you?" Jiraiya asked.
"Told me what?" Naruto asked, lost.
Sakura ran to him. "Ahh.. little brother!" she hugged him.
"Little.. what?" Naruto asked, red in the face.
Tsunade cleared her throat. "Your aunt Risa's daughters, you remember, you met once, Hana and Sakura."
Naruto nodded. "Kinda.. ?"
"That is Sakura, Risa's daughter." Tsunade put plainly.
"WE'RE COUSINS?" Naruto asked, bewildered. "Now I feel sick for hitting on you all those times!"
Sakura pulled from the hug and smiled. "Not only cousins Naru-kun! Your father was my father!"
Naruto's face fell. "We're siblings too! God I think I'm going to throw up! I feel all incesty and such!"
Sasuke sighed, he felt left out.
Naruto's face fell further upon seeing the ring on the chain and then spotting Sasuke. "I'll be related to the teme!"
"Tell me that Teme is your son, Tsunade baa-chan!" Naruto begged.
Sasuke glared even more. "Not related in any way." He stated with wrapping his arms around Sakura from behind.
"This is just too weird!" Naruto stated. "Here I am naked in my aunt's house, learning that the hot girl my best friend loves is my sister slash cousin, that my father cheated on my mother, and that the hot sister slash cousin is engaged to marry the teme whom I'll be related too... just too weird, next you're gonna tell me that your pregnant and that Hawkeye is your dog!"
Sakura looked away.
Naruto froze. "Teme! Did you do unspeakable acts with my sister and get her pregnant!?"
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "We may have done the unspeakable act, but she is not pregnant."
"Hawkeye is my dog..." Sakura stated, ignoring the infuriated crowd.
"YOU DID WHAT TO MY SISTER!?" Naruto yelled, lunging himself at Sasuke, forgetting the fact the the only thing that held his dignity was a towel.
Sasuke and Naruto rolled on the floor punching each other before a shell shocked Sakura. She looked at her feet after it hit. Tsunade drunkenly grabbed the camera as Sasuke got on top and started punching a now exposed Naruto. She snapped the picture bringing the two back to reality. Sasuke jumped off the naked Naruto and threw him the towel.
"This one is going in the scrap book with the caption: Naruto (Sakura's brother) and Sasuke (Sakura's fiance) go at it. No more explanation than that," she smiled and walked back to her office.
Sasuke turned pink and walked over to Sakura. "Can we go home yet?"
She smiled and kissed him. "I love you Sasuke, but next time…don't lie to Naruto just to pick a fight."
Naruto looked at the two in confusion. "Wait you didn't commit unspeakable acts with my sister?"
Sakura shook her head.
"What, are you gay?" Naruto asked.
Sasuke glared at him. "I'm only respecting your sisters' wishes."
Naruto smiled. "Good man!"
Sasuke frowned and turned to Sakura. "This is really too much, please…can we go home?"
Sakura placed a hand on his face. "I have one more stop to make before we go home."
Sasuke nodded and let Sakura bid good night to her new found family and then left into the cold night with Sasuke. As the door shut Naruto sighed.
"This was the weirdest night in my life," Naruto stated, walking back up the stairs.
"Weirder than that one night at band camp?" Jiraiya asked.
Naruto shuddered. "Never mind, second weirdest." He walked into the bathroom and shut the door.
Jiraiya sighed and picked up his laptop and began typing a new novel, the plot that had unfolded before him had sparked an idea. With a few tweaks to the story he would make a steamy tale of love and incest. He was after all, a pervert.
Sakura stood before a grave stone, Sasuke's hand in hers. She placed a flower on the grave. Sasuke's eye scanned across the title as Sakura told the grave of the night's events. It read in big cursive letters:
Hana Marie Haruno
Beloved daughter and sister
January 10th, 1980- June 17th, 1996
A/N: Soo I wrote like three chapters to follow this one... and they all got wiped when my computer got fixed.. they were well written and uber full of things and SasuSaku, NaruHina. NejiTen, and Shikatema... :(... I'll have to write them from memory...