And Then There Was Angst

This is the second last chapter EVER. There's only one more after this, guys. It's intense, I know, but yeah, it's all coming to a close. So without further adieu, I present to you Chapter 41 of Random Thoughts.

In which Harry Potter returns to lecture Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Capslock!Harry makes one final appearance.

It was a wonderful spring day at Hogwarts, in the not too distant future. Harry Potter was back once more, but this time not as a student. He'd been invited by the school to talk to the 7th Year Defense Against the Dark Arts class about exactly that… The Dark Arts, and Defending Against them.

So, inside the classroom, which fortunately had all the windows thrown wide to make use of the healthy breeze, Harry did just that. He taught. He told them about Voldemort, about the First War, the Second War, and the Third War with the Terminators that was bound to happen eventually.

He was midway through lecturing them about the physiology of Lord Voldemort, with slides provided on a magical overhead.

"We managed to get these from the corpse afterward. Thank god CSI isn't half as tedious in the magical world…" He trailed off noticing the collective look of confusion coming from the students.

"Crime Scene Investigation, kids," and they all nodded their heads knowledgeably, even though Harry was fairly sure they still had no idea what he was talking about. '17-year-olds,' he thought, rolling his eyes.

He returned to lecturing about Voldemort: "And as you can see here," Harry said, pointing to the slide, "Voldemort had an enlarged hippocampus- That's the bit up here- leading his emotional responses to be roughly 15 million times more extreme than normal. We figure that's why he was so evil."

And hand shot up at the back of the class, he pointed, "Yeah?"

"Is it true you harbored a part of Voldemort's soul in your body for 17 years?"

"Uhmmm, well, yeah," Harry trailed off stupidly, not liking where this was going.

"So, would Voldemort's emotions also affect your emotions then, since part of him was inside you?"

"Well, at times I would find his emotions affecting mine… But that doesn't really have anything to do with the topic-"

"Is that why you were so angsty growing up?"


The students all sat quite still. They were well aware of HP's reputation for violent outbursts, but this was firsthand. The children cowered beneath their desks.

Harry took deep breaths and then sat down for a moment. And then Voldemort burst in through the door, screamed "NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!" and killed everyone.


It's short, but I think that's really all that needs to be said. Sorry if it feels like a cop-out, but I got the punch line out of the way relatively early, so yeah, that's why. Expect the final chapter next week! See you all then. PS, the title of this chapter is totally a parody of 'And Then There Were None', if you didn't catch it.