12As Michaela watched him walk away from her her heart felt like it was going to break. Why did he do it? Why did he kiss Catherine? She had never felt so betrayed in her whole life. She thought she finally found a man,who like her father,supported her in everything she she could trust to be there,and now that was disappearing before her very eyes.
"I don't want to think about this now.I'll just start crying." she thought as she watched his retreating figure."I have work to do." she said aloud as she picked up her medical bag and started walking in the opposite direction Sully was going.
As Sully watched Michaela pick up her bag and walk away he was tempted to chase after 's heart was breaking after seeing the hurt he caused her. The one thing he never wanted to do was hurt her. But he couldn't expect her to understand what happened anymore than he did.
"Why did I let her kiss me?" he thought."I should have stopped her as soon as I saw what she was going to do." he said out loud to himself.
"Now,I'm losing her." he thought."And it's all my fault.I just let the best thing that ever happened to me slip right through my fingers." As he walked back into town he hoped the children were in the clinic and would not see him."I need some time to myself." he was in luck because Brian had already gone fishing and Colleen was in the clinic cleaning up.
As he headed out of town his only thought was to get to his a place he could find peace and quiet so he could think and ask the spirits for help.
It was late that night when Michaela got tried to think of everybody she could to make housecalls just wanted something to take her mind off to take her mind off Sully.
But when she got home the children were already in the bed she kissed them goodnight she looked at their beautiful faces in the moonlight."At least I'm not alone." she thought as she slipped out of their room.
As she got into bed and under the covers the days events finally took their toll on her as she quietly cried for losing someone that understood her,that loved cried because she lost her best friend.
"He'll never know.I'll never let him see me that upset again.I'll never let him make me cry again." she vowed as she drifted off to sleep,a single tear falling on her pillow.
If Michaela thought she was having a rough night then Sully was having a worse one at that.
After spending much of the day thinking and praying to the spirits, it hit Sully full force what happened.
He had relived every moment with Catherine and every moment with realized he was attracted to because she needed never needed in the way Catherine wanted Sully around to protect be strong for was strong and would be the first to tell you she didn't need was the difference.
Catherine wasn't a challenge for challenged him every step of the was stubborn,willful,down right too opionated God help him,he loved would give his life for was the didn't love just felt sorry for lose her family so young then to lose the only family she had came to know.
"She was a lot like me," Sully thought, thinking back on his own pa,ma,and brother.
He thought about Abagail and his thoughts once again drifted to Michaela.
Her eyes that was long beautiful hair that he longed to bury his face in.
Her lips that he wanted to claim as his every time he was near Michaela surpassed anything he ever experienced before in his life."Oh, have I done!" he cried as he openly wept for the love he just lost.
When Michaela woke up the next morning she heard the children laughing outside in the out of bed she slipped on her just the children she didn't think to check her hair.
As she stepped out onto the porch she noticed Sully was playing tag with the children.
"Sully!" Michaela said shocked."What are you doing here?" she asked.
Sully looked her up and down thinking he never seen a more beautiful features,her bed tossled hair.
"I came to see the children." he said as he swallowed a lump in his throat.
"We're playing tag,ma." Brian said was then Michaela realized that even if her and Sully couldn't have anything more it was selfish of her to take away a father figure from her three of them loved Sully own father deserting them and then their real mother dying was terriably hard on now to take away the man they considered to be their father would be heartwrenching for them.
"I see that Brian." she said putting on a fake smile for the child."Has everyone had breakfast"
she asked.
"I was fixin' to make it." Colleen said as she climed the steps to the porch and hugged her ma.
"Why don't I help you." Michaela said as she let go of Colleen and they entered the house.
Sully just sighed as he watched Michaela walk back into the knew they had a long road ahead of them but he was determined to show Michaela she could trust him he could be the man that she could always depend on.
Soon breakfast was done and they all had a good time eating breakfast children however didn't notice the longing looks Sully and Michaela would pass at one anounced he had to go to work at the ranch and since today was Saturday Colleen and Brian were going to meet friends down at the left Michaela and Sully alone at the homestead.
Michaela not wanting to talk about the day before asked,"Do you want some more coffee?"
"No,I want to apoligize.I"m sorry I hurt ya'.That's the last thing I wanted to do"
Sully began,looking down."I know you said you couldn't be with me,but I want your love back. You're everything to and the children." he said looking at her beautiful face.
"Sully.." she whispered,"You had my love.I trusted you more than I trusted anybody.I gave more of myself to you than I did anybody - even David." she said tearing up."But I'm not going to let you cause me this much pain again."
"Michaela.." he whispered his eyes now tearing up at how much pain he caused."Can't you try to forgive me..try to trust me..try to love me again?" he asked.
It seemed like an eternity before she looked up from the table."I don't know." she said quietly."I don't know."
"Michaela.." Sully said his voice craking realizing he was losing her."Michaela..please."
"The children love you.I want you to still be around for 're like a father to would break their heart if you wasn't around." she said not daring to look in his eyes anymore.
"I'll always be here for the kids and you." he said wanting her to look at him."Maybe one day you'll change your one day you'll trust me again.I want to earn that trust back.
If ever you're in my arms again I promise I'll love you much time we won't ever end.