Rating: K+

Summary: After a quiet few weeks, the team find a new game to play and an unholy row breaks out about the rules.

Disclaimer: I own none of Torchwood, nor do I know the rules of Mornington Crescent.

Authors Notes: I'm sorry but this piece of lunacy had to be done, I had to write the team playing Mornington Crescent, for the uninitiated I suggest you Google Mornington Crescent, for the initiated I'll start with...Marble Arch.

Jack was sitting in the conference room finishing a game of solitaire, it had been quiet for a few weeks, so quiet he was thinking of inviting the Doctor for a visit, just to see if trouble really did follow him, at least it would give them something to do. He looked up when he heard a tapping outside the door and saw Myfanwy hopping about on the rail outside; he opened the door to hear the rest of the team involved in a heated argument.

"You cheated" yelled Tosh,

"I did not" retorted Owen,

"Yes you did, Gwen was in Nid so she missed a turn, Tosh evoked Mortimer's second amendment which meant it was my move" said Ianto

"I may have been in Nid but Tosh made a bilateral move across the straight sequential and according to Thornton's controversial third amendment it lets me out of Nid so Owen took the move" Gwen replied.

"If we were playing Trumpington's Variation it would be, but we're playing Street Level Rules and mainline stations are wild" yelled Tosh,

"Not with Street Level Rules, Faulty Elevators are wild" shouted Owen,

"We started out playing Regency Rules, when did it get changed to Street Level Rules" said Ianto.

"It happened when Gwen changed from Spoon to Nid" replied Tosh with a glare "which is also cheating", the four of them all started yelling at the same time. Jack had had enough, put his fingers to his mouth and gave a sharp whistle making the others look up,

"What the hell's going on with you lot" he yelled, they all started talking at once, Jack held up his hand for silence "Tosh",

"As we've got nothing to do we've been playing a game that's all, it was going well until Gwen and Owen started cheating" she explained.

"No we haven't it's not our fault if you don't know the rules" retorted Gwen,

"We don't know the rules! I like that" said Tosh,

"Enough, what game is it you're playing?" Jack asked,

"Mornington Crescent" they all replied. Jack rolled his eyes; the inactivity had finally caused them to crack,

"That's it, go home all of you and don't come back until Monday morning" he said,

"But..." Tosh protested,

"What about..." Ianto began,

"I mean it, Gwen go home to Rhys, Owen go to the pub, Ianto, Tosh go and do...whatever it is you do when you're not here" he said. Gwen, Tosh, Owen and Ianto grabbed their coats and left muttering venomously; Jack went back into the conference room followed by Myfanwy,

"I have got to find all of them something to do next week" he said to Myfanwy, who gave him a look that said 'Are you going to feed me or what'. He sat at his computer and typed Mornington Crescent into the search engine,

"Yep, I have definitely got to find them something to do next week, they're arguing about the rules of a game that has no rules" he said with a sigh.