Sweet Child of Mine

Still don't own it; although soaking wet heroic Tony would be the ultimate Christmas present…

Ziva and McGee pulled up behind Tony's car, drawing their weapons and moving cautiously to the chain link fence to see what was happening.

They arrived just in time to see the familiar shape of Tony collapse in between Gibbs and Maddy as they lay unmoving on the quay.

"Oh, God," said McGee. He pulled out his cell with shaking hands. "This is Special Agent McGee; I have two agents and one civilian down; we need backup and ambulances ASAP. Old fishery near the docks; GPS my cell." He hung up and turned to make his way towards his friends… and saw that Ziva had already left.

He found her inside the warehouse, checking the pulse on one of the two men lying on the ground.


"Clear," she said. No further communication was needed; the pair moved swiftly out to the quay, covering one another as well as their friends. By the time they got there, Tony was attempting to sit up.

"What happened, Tony?" Asked McGee, dropping to one knee beside him and struggling out of his coat.

"We went for a dip, McGee; what the hell d'you think?" DiNozzo snapped hoarsely. "Get an ambulance."

"Already on its way, boss."

Ziva busied herself rolling Gibbs into the recovery position, taking note of how cold he was; the November wind had to be cutting through his sodden clothes.

Tony pushed McGee away when he tried to wrap the coat around him. "Give it to Maddy," he said. "Gibbs?"

"He's frozen, Tony; and his breathing is shallow," said Ziva. "How long was he underwater?"

"Too long." Tony began to cough; deep, wracking coughs painful to listen to. Water trickled out of his mouth.

"What about you? You look awful," said Ziva.

"At least I'm conscious, Officer David. Go find something to cover them," he ordered her. She cast one more worried look at Tony and then jumped up and ran back towards the building as fast as she could. McGee had rolled Maddy up in his long trenchcoat and was rubbing her hands, trying to generate some warmth.

"Hug her, McGee," Tony ordered. "Body heat will help. And throw me your cell."

"I called for backup, Tony," said McGee as he embraced the young woman gingerly. Tony did the same with Gibbs.

"I need to report to the Director; and my phone needs rebooting," Tony replied, producing it. Water trickled out of the case. "Cell. Now."

"Yes, boss." McGee tossed it over; Tony barely caught it with his frozen hands and he had to concentrate to dial correctly.


"Director; dirtbags dead, Maddy and Gibbs nearly drowned. They're safe but we've ordered ambulances for hypothermia. I'll give you a full account when we get back, but you can tell Abby to stop worrying."

"I'll let her know right away, Tony. Do you need more agents?"

"Already called for backup; but you can tell Metro we need divers and a crane to get the car out of the water. And tell Ducky he's got a couple guests to pick up."

"Very well. And Tony? Good job." He hung up without another word.

Ziva arrived back with a couple of blankets she'd scavenged.

"Very cosy, Tony," she said, observing his proximity to Gibbs.

"Shut up and help me wrap the boss, Ziva." Between them, they got him bundled in the cloth and then Tony helped McGee do the same with Maddy while Ziva took over being Gibbs' hot water bottle.

"Stay there and keep them warm," Tony ordered. "I'll go keep watch for the ambulance."

"But you're just as wet as they are," McGee protested.

"Which is why I'm no good to them, Probie. I'd just make them wetter; I'll run around; soon warm myself up." He took off at a jog.

"But you know what Dr Pitt said!" McGee yelled after him. Tony didn't even pause. "Is it just me, or does Tony get crazier when he's in charge?" He asked.

"Oh, he definitely does," Ziva agreed. "I think it's because he knows no one's about to slap him on the head."

Tony was all energy as he led the paramedics towards the group and organised the backup to process and secure the crime scene. He co-ordinated with the PD, reassured a frantic Abby on his borrowed cell, kept the Director updated and oversaw the evidence collection.

"Sir!" One of the EMTs called him over. "We were told there were three casualties; there's only two here."

"It was an overestimate," said Tony smoothly. "No one else needs treatment. How are they doing?"

"Both are hypothermic and they've swallowed a lot of water. We're taking them to spend the night in the hospital. Agent Gibbs is a little worse than Miss Taylor, but they should both be fine. Are you sure you're all right, Sir? You're wet through."

"I'm fine."

"You are not fine, Anthony DiNozzo," said Ducky commandingly from behind him. "McGee told me you almost passed out earlier; and you were coughing water. You know how weak your lungs are…"

"I told you, Ducky, I am fine. And I'm needed to run the crime scene; Gibbs would smack me silly if I ran off to hospital and something went wrong…"

"Timothy and Ziva are perfectly capable of dealing with any problems and you know it, Anthony. Go on; the last thing you need is to pick up another chest infection."

"You have a history of respiratory illness?" Asked the paramedic.

"Hardly any," replied Tony breezily.

Ducky reached up and smacked him firmly across the head. "If I ever hear of you lying to a medical professional again, Tony, I'll stick you with so many needles you won't sit down for a week!"

"Hey, it was not a lie. It was one time!"

"You had pneumonic plague, Tony! You almost died!"

The EMT's eyes widened. "Pneumonic plague?"

"Long story," said Tony dismissively.

"As your doctor, Tony, I am telling you to go to hospital before you keel over," ordered Ducky. "And if you are stubborn enough to refuse, I'll have Gibbs smack you silly."

"Ok, ok; I'll let these guys do their thing," Tony replied ungraciously. "But I'm not going to hospital unless it's absolutely necessary."

"For goodness' sake, man; be sensible. If you're laid up with another serious chest infection, who is going to keep an eye on Jethro? If it wasn't for you, he'd almost certainly be dead."

"Good point. All right. But I'm keeping McGee's cell; you call me if anything happens."

Ducky's hand disappeared behind his back to hide his crossed fingers. "Certainly I will." He waited for the reluctant patient to be led away to the waiting ambulance before pulling out his own phone.

"Bradley? It's Doctor Mallard. I'm afraid Anthony has done something rather stupid again…"