It's not fair

A/N I'm back! Sorry about that, I had a very stressful six months where I didn't have the time (or energy) to write, then when I did I found all my plot bunnies had deserted me! Anyway, after a massive writer's block I have tempted them back and here I am!

Disclaimer: Mine? laughs hysterically no.

Warning: Slight hint of one-sided homosexual love, if you don't like, I recommend you look away

It's not fair. Here I am at the bedside of a comatose young man - boy maybe - who could easily lose his life and I'm jealous. There's so many things wrong with that.

The fact remains though; you have everything. Period. And you don't even know it. Sure your life's not perfect, but hey, it's damn well near it.

For one you have a loving and supportive family; I mean, sure, your Dad's great to me and everything but he's not really my dad. He tries to treat me equally but he's not fooling anyone, least of all himself. I'm important to him and maybe we can even push the boat out and say he, to some extent, cares about me, but whatever he feels is never even going to be half for me as it is for you. You envy my good relationship with him? It's only because there's a certain amount of detachment between us, very professional and all. Can't you see? You only argue because you care so damn much about each other. He desperately wants to keep you safe, you're Jeff's precious baby boy, he positively dotes on you! And you, can't you see the reason he makes you so angry is just because you care so very much; what he thinks about you, how he treats you, even how much attention he gives you (which is a decent amount by the way).

And your brothers; you grew up with them, were raised by them, share the same genes as them. Blood is thicker than water. No matter how hard I try to get them to like me you'll always come first to them. Even if I spend the rest of my life with them I'll never catch up with you in that case. They balance you out, make up for your weaknesses and try and keep you out of trouble without even knowing they're doing it, it's instinctive to them. How can you not realise how much they love you? Or maybe you do, you just don't need to acknowledge it. I wouldn't know; adopted by a professor because of my brains, remember? I'll never know that assumed, constant net that you take for granted, never have that safety net. You get away with so much Alan; daily tantrums, reckless behaviour, rude comments, and everyone takes it in their stride. The worst punishment you get is a lecture from your dad (and only because he cares) and maybe extra chores or more time on 5. For just one of the things you do I'd get chucked off the Island, so it's always the best behaviour from me. What's it like to know that whatever happened to you, wherever you were, you'd have people willing (and probably capable) of ripping the gates of heaven and hell out of their hinges to find and rescue you? To know they'd never give up? I bet that's how you can be so confident, so…you.

You are confident Alan; you'll always try new things, you'll never back down from a challenge, whether it's sky diving, wind surfing, extreme racing or driving prototype rockets and spaceships. It wouldn't matter so much to me if that was it, but it's not. I wonder if you know (or care) that your IQ is nearly as high as mine. That's scary; if you felt like it you could easily take over my job. Luckily you're a well balanced individual who's not willing to devote all his time to one aspect of his talents. Thank God. I sometimes forget how smart you are, you're good at covering it up, until you'll bend over my shoulder one day and make a correction to my elite designs or something. Like you're reminding me, or something. But you wouldn't, your not like that (like me), you're just so innocent, no wonder your family want to protect you from everything.

That nicely brings me on to your love life. It's a good thing Tintin doesn't leave the Island much, she wouldn't be so confident about you if she saw all the looks you get, from girls and boys. There's always someone who approaches you, is willing to show that they want you, no wonder your father keeps you on such a tight leash! With you're golden, gently curled hair, lithe body and adorable cerulean baby eyes…ah yes, there's another thing, my little crush on you. Ah hell, no reason to bring it up or discuss it because-of course- even if you did swing that way I'd still never have you. Yet despite all these things I can't bring myself to hate you. You're like marmite Alan; people either love you and hate you. I guess you can tell which side I fall down on.

A/N Another chapter done! Next will probably be Grandma, if anyone has any idea of what to do for John I'd be happy to hear your suggestions.

Thanks to my wonderful beta Alichay who has to put up with so much, no one will ever understand the torment I put you through.

Reviews please! It keeps me typing XD