I do not own these Characters, Stephenie Meyer does, I am the one who drove them to therapy.

This is the final chapter of Family Therapy. Enjoy!

Breaking up is Hard to Do!

Dr. Dover POV

My sleep that night had been anything but peaceful. My dreams were full of bits and pieces from the therapy sessions I had with the Cullens. It all started like this...

I was a union soldier in the Civil War, and as I was charging the hill my weapon at the ready, Jasper, dressed as a confederate soldier, appeared over the top of the hill, clutching a blushing Bella in his arms threatening to spill her blood.

I turned to my left to look for help, only to find my fellow Union solider Emmett, fondling a young woman against an apple tree. I turned to my right, screaming for help, and was startled when my call was answered by a shirtless Carlisle, armed and ready to save Bella.

Just before we charged Jasper, Edward arrived carrying a large basket of vegetables that he began handing out to each of the Cullens, one by one. Carlisle took a tomato, bit into it deeply, and sucked the juices from it. Some of which trickled down his chin and onto his bare chest.

Emmett and the young woman who I could now see was Rosalie, fed each other peas and green beans alluringly in the shade. Edward went on to hand Jasper a huge eggplant which he quickly devoured, and then another, before he finally released Bella.

Thrilled to be free, Bella crashed into Edward's arms and sobbed tears of joy. He very gently held her, until her cries died down. When they pulled apart, Bella began to eye the remaining vegetables in Edward's basket and then proceeded to hold out her hand.

"May I please have an artichoke." Her voice was sweet and gentle as she took a step toward Edward, waiting for his response.

"You don't want to do that Bella." Edward snapped. I could see the stubbornness take over Bella's delicate features.

"Yes, I do Edward, give me the damn artichoke. It is my decision not yours." And she lunged for the the spiny leafed veggie.

"I will not allow you to hurt yourself this way. This is for your own good Bella, no vegetables for you! It will only end up hurting you in the end and I will not be responsible for you losing your life!" Edward screamed at her.

I couldn't take it anymore, the arguing, the bickering, the endless nonsense about being a vegetarian...my head was spinning. Finally I stepped to the top of the hill and shouted at the top of my lungs. "People! They are just fucking vegetables! She won't die becoming a vegetarian ...Get a grip!"

All of the Cullens turned in surprise, and then slowly started walking towards me, their fangs glistening in the sunlight... wait... FANGS?

"VAMPIRES!" I screamed out in bed. I woke up from the dream in a cold sweat, my heart thundering in my chest.

My scream caused poor Eileen to topple from our bed and grab the golf club that she hides under the bed for emergencies screaming, "Where are they Ben? Let me at them!" I watched my poor wife swing the pitching wedge wildly into the darkness trying to defend us from the nonexistent vampires of my dreams.

When I heard her clock radio being smashed to bits I collected myself enough to say. "Eileen honey? Put down the club, it was just a dream... I'm sorry I scared you."

"A dream? You screamed vampires in your sleep... you are a jackass..." She snarled as I heard the wedge fly across the room, ricochet off the closet door and land near my dresser. "A therapist having nightmares...maybe he should be in therapy...stupid patients of his..." she muttered under her breath as she climbed back into bed.

"Sorry dear." I said as I laid back onto my pillow, turning to face her.

"I swear Ben, you are lucky that I love you or that pitching wedge would be tightly wrapped around your neck right now." Eileen said as she giggled softly, kissing my cheek.

"I know." I laughed as I tried to go back to a dreamless, Cullen free, night's sleep. "Don't worry, it won't happen again."

CPOV

It had been three days since we had left Dr. Dover's office. The night of the incident in my office, Edward brought Rosalie and Emmett home from the police station around 11:30 pm., waving their mug shots in his hand.

"Emmett closed his eyes again!" Edward laughed, as he brought the picture over for me to look at. I glanced at Rosalie's, and as always, the picture looked like it could be on the cover of a magazine. "Rosalie insisted they wait until she fixed her hair to take it." Edward rolled his eyes.

Bella walked up behind him, she was laughing as well. "My dad said he's never seem anything like it...poor Emmett got thrown in the cell with the drifter they picked up on the side of the road, however Rosalie talked the guys into letting her sit in Charlie's office! When he came in, she was sitting in his chair, with her feet up on his desk." He doubled over in laughter. "His face was priceless..."

"I think I may file a complaint against the department." Emmett yelled from the upstairs, "For sex discrimination. So what if I'm a guy? Just because I don't have boobs I get stuck with Jimmy no name who smelled like an elephant's butt. In the mean time, she got the one guy to run out and get her bagels...and she doesn't even eat food!"

"I just wanted to see of he would really do it.." Rosalie giggled from her room.

I pulled a small album off the shelf of my office and added their pictures to the others. The time Edward and Emmett got arrested for public indecency for mooning Jasper at the park, Alice's arrest for breaking and entering when the employees arrived at Bloomingdales, only to find Alice there, unpacking the new fall line by Gucci, Rosalie's arrest for prostitution... that was a long story and Jaspers arrest for assault and battery when he lost a bet to Emmett and they got in a fight outside a sports bar. I smiled as I closed our 'book of family shame' and placed it safely up on the shelf.

Later that evening, with Rosalie and Emmett back from jail and our local "lottery winner" and her husband finally showed up, we had a family meeting to discuss Dr. Dover's suggestion of us continuing with therapy on a weekly basis.

Emmett was all for continuing therapy, other than the homework, he quite enjoyed himself and I suspect he had a plan for all the trouble he could cause Edward and Bella in future sessions. "I like Bend Over, I think we should go back. I still have something I would like to discuss with him." Emmett said as he winked in Edward's direction. A coaster flew across the table, narrowly missing Emmett's head.

"I will defer to my wife." Jasper chose to say very little, awaiting Alice's final decision as he filled the room with a calm sensation in an effort to let cooler heads prevail.

Alice wasn't really listening, she was still inconsolable since the credit cards remained frozen. "I only said I won the lottery as a cover Carlisle, I explained that. I just went in there so fast and started buying things... they had never seen anything like it and I couldn't stop...so when someone asked if I won the lottery or something, it sounded like a good story, so I just said yes. Who knew the local news would show up and put me on camera. It must have been a slow news night... Oh no! Did I look fat? They say the camera adds weight... and I 'm so small, ten pounds on me is huge! I probably looked like Jabba the Hut! I need to work out Carlisle, can I buy some workout clothes... please... anything...I need to shop, I'll shop for the poor! Will that work?"

Rosalie's reaction was the best. She walked over to her purse and pulled out her credit cards, checkbook and bank card and placed them in the middle of the table. She also laid a white piece of paper on the table which, upon further inspection, was a resume. She looked at me and said. "I will not go back no matter what the threat. I give up all rights to the family money and am prepared to get a job to support myself." When she finished her little speech, she sat back in her chair and returned to filing her crimson fingernails.

Edward flatly said "No." He didn't give a single reason, he didn't offer a compromise, he simply refused. From his body language, I could see he was getting ready to blow. Emmett I'm sure, was giving him a preview of all the great lies he thought he could tell about Edward, or even worse, Bella to make their sessions as uncomfortable as possible.

Bella of course, agreed to do whatever I thought best. How I hoped that she would stay this sweet when she became an indestructible vampire like the rest of them, but somehow, I highly doubted it. As a human she was unbelievably stubborn. When she was a vampire like Edward, the two together would be a force to be reckoned with in no time.

Finally, I looked over at my wife, my rock, and only ally in this whole, feeble attempt to fix our family. She listened as the children went around the table and voiced their opinions. She then dropped my hand from hers, as she stood up to speak.

"I appreciate everyone's honesty, and your opinions really do matter, this is a family decision. I also want to thank you all for going to the therapy sessions, being truthful and giving it a chance. I know it meant a lot to Carlisle. Having said that, I want you to know that I have given Dr. Dover's suggestion a great deal of thought and I have come to the conclusion that there is no way in hell we are going back there, ever again."

And with that, the decision was made, the Cullens were done with therapy.

I spent the next three days dodging Dr. Dover at the hospital. Once, I did hear him call my name as I walked down the hall, so I had to dive into a nearby elevator to avoid talking to him, but other than that, the days passed without incident. I was certain any moment now, Stephenie was going to be calling us to schedule our next appointment, and I had to do something before then. At the end of the third day, I came home from work and went straight into my office, closing the door tightly behind me. Esme picked up on my odd mood, and joined me.

"Carlisle, what's wrong dear?" She asked as she sat down with me on the couch in my office. She lifted up my hand and held it tightly in hers.

"It's this thing with Dr. Dover. I just don't know what to do. I know we aren't going to go back to therapy, and believe me I agree one hundred percent, but how do I tell the guy? He's new to the area, and agreed to do me a huge favor. I feel terrible, having asked him for help, and now he is willing to give us help, but we are refusing it. I just feel so guilty."

"Carlisle, how many times have you had a patient that just didn't click with you? OK, not that often, because most of them are smitten with you the moment they lay their eyes on you." She growled unhappily. "But really, it happens, to most humans, where people's personalities aren't a good fit together, so they try someone else. Why can't you just tell him we found a therapist more in tune with our particular 'family issues'? A specialist perhaps?"

I smiled at my wife, realizing she was right. It was the best solution, to let Dr. Dover know we appreciated what he did for us but tell him we found a specialist to help us work on our issues. I knew what I was going to do, I gave Esme a passionate kiss to thank her for her brilliance and then got off the couch and went to my desk.

I picked up the phone and made two phone calls. The first one was to the hospital. I asked Louise, my secretary to clear my schedule for the next week, because we were leaving on vacation tomorrow. She wished us a safe trip and said she'd take care of everything.

The second phone call was to Charlie. I told him the abridged version of our therapy sessions leaving out the parts about his daughter only marrying Edward for the sex. I simply told him how much I appreciated him letting Bella be a part of it. I asked permission for Bella to join us on a little vacation next week to thank her for being such a good sport. Charlie was a bit shocked by my sudden request, but after some finessing, he agreed, his only stipulation was Bella had to take her homework and stay on top of her studies. I agreed completely and told him Edward would bring her by shortly to pack.

"We're going on vacation are we?" Esme asked suspiciously. "Where are we going?"

"I have no idea, why don't you go ask Alice for suggestions." I could tell Esme was still unsure, but I assured her I would explain everything later. She got off the couch and went in search of Alice to find us a vacation destination full of overcast, cloudy days.

When the door shut behind her, I rummaged through the bottom drawer of my desk for a piece of paper. I took the pen from my shirt pocket and began writing.

Dear Dr. Dover,

First, I wanted to extend my heartfelt thanks to you for agreeing to see my family and I in therapy on such short notice last week. We found ourselves in a very difficult place as a family, with the constant fighting threatening to consume our lives, so knowing you were willing to help was a huge weight off of my shoulders.

Our sessions with you have been informative and very enlightening. My wife and I were pleasantly surprised at how well the children opened up to you with their feelings, and were more truthful than I ever expected them to be with someone they just met.

I think in the limited sessions you have had with my children, you can see we have a very unique family dynamic, one I say, you may never have seen before and may never see again. Having said that, we, as a family, find ourselves with an interesting set of issues that relate more directly to our lifestyle than anything else. I know to an outsider, being a vegetarian may sound like a strange cause of stress in a family, but for us, it is a conscious choice we have made and we feel very strongly about it, and unfortunately very few people understand our position.

I am happy to say that we have a family friend in Alaska who I think will be able to help the children deal with a number of their issues. They too are living a vegetarian lifestyle and know the struggles the children are facing. I can tell you they also have a great deal of experience in 'marital relations' and I think they are the perfect group of women to help Bella make it through until the wedding. With their years of experience with men, Bella will be able to learn a great deal from them. They are very skilled at what they do. I also feel strongly they could help Emmett and Rosalie control their urges a bit more and be more respectful of those around them.

Alice, is currently going through her own version of 'shopping detox' for a lack of a better term. I think once she gets through the withdrawal process, she will see things more clearly. She feels terrible about her behavior following our last session and I think she may be ready for real change. I will be monitoring her throughout and if I have any concerns for her mental state I will seek help. But for now, she is doing as well as can be expected. Jasper is being very supportive and helping us keep her as calm as possible. He has stopped manipulating the rest of the family and is now focusing on helping Alice.

For these reasons and many others, I feel that our therapy will be better handled by our friends in Alaska. The children would be more comfortable there, where the struggles we are facing will be truly understood. They have years and years of experience and are specialists in their respective fields.

I again want to express my thanks at your willingness to undertake an endeavor such as my family. I have to say, you fared much better than I expected, I thought for sure one of them would eat you alive, but they didn't, which was quite impressive. I hope your secretary remains on her proposed medication schedule and I wish you a long a prosperous career here in Forks. I'm sure our paths will cross again.

Sincerely,

Carlisle and Esme Cullen

I read the letter over once more before neatly folding it and placing it into an envelope. I addressed it, put a stamp on it and walked it out to the mailbox immediately. By the time I came back into the house, everyone had gathered in the family room.

"We're going on vacation?" Jasper asked with the same suspicious tone Esme used earlier.

"Yes. We will leave tomorrow evening. Bella, I already talked to Charlie and he has agreed that you can come with us, but you need to keep up with your schoolwork while we are away. Tomorrow, make sure you bring home whatever you will need and we'll take it with us. Edward can help you study. "Bella jumped up and down at the thought of going on a trip with us, well mostly with Edward, but I think some small part of her enjoyed the idea of being with the rest of us too. Edward was smiling broadly as Bella hugged him.

You're welcome Edward. I thought with a smirk. Edward slightly nodded his head in thanks.

"Where are we going?" Rosalie asked sharply, not wanting to go do anything that required her to do anything other than relax.

"Alice suggested it might be a good time to head up to Alaska for a few days." Esme said glancing around at the children for their reactions. Emmett jumped to his feet, Jasper nodded his head in agreement, Rosalie even cracked a smile. Bella was the only one who looked like she was going to throw up.

"Bella, Tanya will like you relax. It will be fun trust me." I watched Edward trying to reassure Bella about our destination. She listened to him whisper how much he loved her into her ear, blushed and then nodded her head in agreement.

"It's settled then, tomorrow we leave for Alaska!" I said with authority.

"Carlisle?" Jasper called as I tried to leave the room "Why are we suddenly leaving for a week? And why are you so darn anxious?"

"We're running away." Edward laughed. Stupid mind reading son of mine, shut up!

"Why are we running? Edward, what is our dear old dad running from?" Emmett asked smirking.

"He keeps thinking 'We are gettin' out of Dodge, We've gotta get out of Dodge." Edward was trying to catch his breath from all the laughter.

"Who are we hiding from now?" Bella screamed, of course panicking, afraid that some new immortal creature was coming to kill her. Her terror got Edward all worked up, which made Emmett laugh, causing Edward to get even more angry. Then Jasper, being bored of course, turned up the fury even more and a wrestling match broke out between Edward and Emmett.

When the lamp crashed to the floor, Alice flew over to the computer and began shopping on the Internet for a new one. She had one eye on the screen and one on the boys, waiting to see what else she could replace. She knew I would insist the boys pay for any damages themselves and therefore she'd get to shop for the first time in days. I'm sure she saw this coming but let it happen anyway... sneaky girl.

"Enough!" I said with force. The boys released one another and sat on the floor looking up apologetically at me.

"Sorry dad..." they mumbled together.

"We are leaving, in a hurry, because... I wrote Dr. Dover a letter firing him as our doctor and I ... I feel bad OK? So I'd rather us get away for a few days and let this thing blow over a bit." I said in a rush. Everyone stayed silent and then Emmett started snickering, Edward buried his face in his hands, Jasper began shaking with silent laughter, Rosalie snickered with her husband, while Bella giggled uncontrollably.

Alice finally sneered. "Afraid of a human are we Carlisle? If you give me my credit cards back I will protect you..."

"Edward, take Bella home to pack. Emmett and Rosalie, go make sure the cars are ready for the trip. Alice you have one hundred dollars to spend on a new lamp. For every penny you go over that budget, you will lose your credit cards for another week. Jasper start finding the suitcases, ladies there will be a three bag maximum for this trip." Groans came from my loving daughters, but I wasn't listening. I took Esme by the hand and we retired into our bedroom for the evening.

The next day, I was feeling a little down, not knowing if Dr. Dover got the letter or not. Hopefully he would take it well, it was a small town, and if he didn't, there'd be gossip which never ends well. Trying to keep my mind off of things, I made sure Esme and I had everything we needed. We would be taking the majority of the luggage with us, Emmett and Rose would get the rest into the Jeep or in the luggage carrier on top. Edward would drive Bella, Jasper and Alice with him. Alice had won the game of Rocks paper scissors against Emmett to see who would get to ride with Bella and listen to her sleep talking.

When everyone returned home from school the boys finished packing the cars while the girls frantically stuffed one more 'important' item into the suitcases before they went out to the car. Bella and Alice were jumping up and down on the last suitcase trying to cram it to maximum capacity while Rosalie wrestled with the bursting zipper. Bella jumped a bit to high and landed with a thud next to the suitcase.

"Are we ready now ladies?" I asked trying not to laugh at poor Bella's clumsiness. "Before Bella hurts herself..."

"We're ready Carlisle." Edward said as he hurried over to Bella to investigate what injuries she may have sustained in her little fall.

Esme walked in, carrying a pile of mail in her arms. She stopped mid way through the room and held up an envelope. "Carlisle?" She said as I walked to her side. I took the envelope in my hand, turned it over and read the return address:

69 Psycho Path

Forks, WA 98331

"Maybe you should wait until we get home Carlisle..." Esme said sweetly, always thinking of my feelings.

"No Esme, lets get this over with, that way it isn't hanging over our heads the entire trip." I swiftly ripped opened the envelope and removed a crisp, white sheet of paper. I glanced at it and let out a laugh. Grabbing the envelope, I examined the postmark to see when it was mailed, the date on it was 2 days ago.

"He mailed his first..." I laughed to myself. As my laughter filled the house, the children looked at me like I had sprouted another head.

Esme was the first to speak. "Carlisle, what is in that letter and why are you laughing?"

Edward who read my thoughts started laughing now too, annoying everyone else that he was in on the joke and they weren't. Bella gave Edward an irritated look and he quickly stopped. Alice was grinning from ear to ear. She must have see this coming for days...

"He fired us." I gasped between laughs.

"Who fired us from what?" Jasper asked chuckling from my giddiness.

"Dr. Dover fired us! From his practice..." Everyone except Edward and Alice looked completely confused.

"I don't get it..." Emmett whispered to Rosalie who just shrugged and twirled her finger around her temple, implying I had gone crazy.

"Listen to this..."

Dear Dr. and Mrs. Cullen,

I would first like to thank you for having the faith in me to ask me to treat your family in therapy. I was truly honored that you would entrust your family's care to me. You have a wonderful family, the love and connection between all of you, is undeniably strong. I have truly enjoyed the time I spent getting to know your family.

That having been said, I have thought for quite sometime about how I should proceed from here. I know we discussed the possibility of having weekly sessions together. Upon further review, I think that may not be the wisest decision for either of us.

Your family, while doing their best to be open and honest, I still feel there was something big they were holding back. I cannot effectively treat them, if they will not be completely honest with me. Your family seems to be very guarded with everything they think and say. The only truly spontaneous thing I felt was said in all the sessions was when Jasper claimed to be a vampire. The mood in the room changed immediately and for a second and I was worried he thought it was true...but when I realized it was a playful comment, I appreciated his lighthearted candor.

I also must say, that while I am not a vegetarian, I do have friends that are practicing Vegetarians and none of them seem to struggle the way your family does with the concept. Perhaps it is time for a lifestyle change. I would challenge you to try other diets, such as a vegan, macrobiotic, fruitatarian, or even carnivorous. Try them, and see if perhaps one of them may be better suited for you all. If seems to me, if it is so hard to be a vegetarian, then perhaps you should change to a more natural lifestyle for your family.

I did as much research as I could to get information on Vegetarian support groups or issues within the vegetarian community. The health and vitamin deficiency concerns are mentioned, but no where could I find mental anguish, physical pain, or even aggression linked to vegetarianism like your children are experiencing.

With that being the core of so many of your problems, I think it would be better for you to find another doctor who would be better suited to meet your unique needs. I am under trained in this area and I do not feel it would be in your best interest to be treated by me. I could recommend a sex therapist who I believe could help a number of your children with their issues. His name is Dr. Seymour Bush, and he comes highly recommended, with 15 years experience in his field. I also would recommend an addiction specialist for Alice to help her with her shopping addiction, she has quite a long road ahead of her.

Finally, again, I would like to thank you again for the opportunity to treat your family. I can assure you that anything we discussed will be kept in the strictest of confidence and I must also let you know that should any problems arise in the next 30 days, please feel free to contact me if you have not found a new doctor by then to treat your family.

Best Regards,

Dr. Benjamin Dover

The laughter in the room was deafening by the time I got done. Alice was squealing that she wanted to be a 'fruitatarian' instead of vegetarian. Emmett and Edward stopped breathing and were on their knees after I read the name of the sex therapist. Jasper was quite proud his vampire confession made the letter while Rosalie was furious she was snubbed. Bella breathed a sigh of relief that she wasn't mentioned at all.

"Do you feel better dear?" Esme said with a gentle pat on my back.

"I do, he fired us first... I feel free of any guilt I may have been carrying. Boys, I do need some help before we go." I watched my sons do their best to settle down, but they were too far over the edge, I looked to my daughters who always were better at this kind of thing anyway.

"Alice and Rose, I need your help." I waved the girls over and gave them their instructions. Once their job was completed we would be able to leave for Alaska, and take a well deserved vacation.

RPOV

Alice and I quickly changed our clothes, the sun was setting and whenever we did one of these missions, we liked to dress the part. We dressed in basic T shirts and jeans, with baseball hats on our heads, obscuring the view of our faces.

As we stepped out of the hospital elevator, I checked left and Alice checked to the right. The only people in the halls were two nurses who were on their way out for the evening. It was dinner time, and most people would be leaving, making our job much easier.

Alice hissed "Janitor" and nodded toward the end of the hall. Sure enough, a 45 year old janitor with graying hair turned the corner and stopped in his tracks when he saw us.

"Give me a second." I hissed as I swaggered in his direction, using the sway of my hips to get his attention. Alice leaned casually against the wall by the office door, pulled out her cell and pretended to send a text message.

"Hi there..." I said in a sultry voice. His eyebrows shot up, not expecting me to use that tone with him.

"Hey.." he mumbled as he nervously shuffled his feet.

"Can I tell you a secret?" I whispered, looking over my shoulder for effect. His eyes were huge as he nodded his head yes. I leaned closer to him and he leaned closer to me, tilting his head to the side, exposing his neck to me.

With blinding speed I did it, I gave him a hard karate chop to the neck, knocking him out cold. He fell head first into the large trashcan he had been pushing down the hall.

"Rosalie Hale! What the heck did you do to him?" Alice shrieked quietly in the hallway as she ran over.

"I knocked him out..."

"Why didn't you just flirt with him and send him off to some broom closet to wait? Why did you do that? Oh my, is he drooling on his shirt? Yuck" Alice said as she glanced in on the poor guy and made a face. I grabbed one of the extra trash bags and laid it over him in the can.

"I was going to send him to his car to wait for me, but that was boring, I wanted to give this a try... It was pretty fun." I said with a smirk. Alice however, was unamused.

"We have a job to do Rose, let's move..." We headed over to the back door to Dr. Dover's office. We listened carefully and we could hear two heartbeats, but they were no where near the door. It sounded like Dr. Dover was in the conference room, so Alice and I silently snuck in the back door to the office. We crept down the small hallway to his inner office door and slipped inside,

We split up and began rummaging through the drawers looking for our charts. We found them in seconds and tucked them into the black messenger bag Alice had brought with her. "Carlisle said no traces..." I whispered, as I continued looking through his desk for any extra notes he may have jotted down.

Alice found a drawer of taped sessions and was flipping through them. "He didn't record us did he? He has to tell us he's doing that right?" she mumbled more to herself than to me. Then I heard her squeal "Oh my gosh, you will never guess who comes to see the dear Dr. Dover!" Alice looked like she may burst.

"It's not our business Alice, Carlisle would kill us if he knew..." I looked over at her as she dangled the tape between two of her fingers. I looked at the name on it and nearly burst out laughing. "Quick, find everything, we'll make copies on his printer... this is great!"

We thoroughly gathered up all traces of the Cullen visits to Dr. Dover, there would be no record of us ever having a session. We also made highly illegal copies of medical records and took a few tapes from recorded sessions, vowing to return the tapes when we returned to town while burning the scanned pages of the chart. Still unnoticed, we scurried out of the office, and heard the janitor starting to come around in the trash can. We found the nearest stairwell and flew to the bottom, making our escape out a side door of the hospital.

"We're back!" I called as we waked into the house. I held the files marked Cullen out to him. I assumed he was going to put them in his office, but he surprised me when he handed them to Esme. He must have seen the confusion on my face because he shrugged his shoulders and said with a laugh "It's a long ride, it should make for good reading material. I'd like to see what the nice doctor had to say about all of us."

Edward, don't go to the car yet, let Carlisle and Esme go first. Alice and I found something good.

Edward got a mischievous smile on his face for a second and said "Carlisle, why don't you and Esme get going, Bella needs to use the bathroom before we go. We'll be right behind you."

"I do?" Bella asked, but when she saw the look I gave her she turned on her heel and scampered off to the potty like a good little girl.

Carlisle eyed us suspiciously, "Don't be long... Esme dear, shall we?" He held out his arm to her, and still holding our file in her hand, she slipped her arm in his, and headed out the door. We waited until we heard the car pull out of the driveway until Alice said anything.

"Before we show you this, we all need to be sworn to secrecy... understand? Carlisle would have our heads if he knew what we took from Dr. Dover's office. Deal?" I watched everyone nod their heads in agreement, Bella came back just in time to join in the vow. I slowly pulled two tapes from the pocket of my jeans.

"What are those?" Emmett asked as he snatched one out of my hand. Jasper grabbed the other and examined it as well.

At the same time they both shouted "MIKE NEWTON?"

Edward dove at Alice and yanked the chart from her hand, flipping through the pages. Some made him laugh and others made him livid. Bella watched his face utterly confused.

"Bella, don't you get it? Mike is a patient of Dr. Dover's! These are his files and taped sessions... Emmett and I get the tapes first, you guys can have the chart, then we'll switch." I said as I headed for the door, Emmett was right behind me with both tapes in his hand, anxious to get into the Jeep and give them a listen.

As I waited for Emmett to unlock the door for me I saw Edward with his nose in the chart walking over to the Volvo. He stopped dead in his tracks. "Newton is a bed wetter!" His head flew back and he roared with laughter. Alice, Jasper and Bella were still giggling as they got into the car.

I hopped in the passenger seat of the Jeep, and threw the tape into the tape deck. Emmett started the Jeep and when the roar of the starting engine died down, we heard Mike's slimy voice fill the car.

"You see doctor, there is this girl... and I think... I love her... but I've only talked to her once. Today was her first day at school. Is that strange to be in love already? I can tell she feels the same way too, I see it in her eyes. Anyway, her name is Isabella but she likes me to call her Bella..."

THE END

Thank you for all the reviews, PM's and laughs you have given me as I wrote this story. I cannot believe how many reviews this story has gotten so fast. Huge Huge thanks to jashaw who gave me the idea and said run with it. I hope I did you proud. Check out her stories everyone...they are fabulous.

There you have it, another story complete! I do have an idea for what I will do next, after Boycotts wraps up so keep your eyes open.

Questions I know you will ask : Yes, there really is a street named Psycho Path in the US, just not in Forks... Yes, doctors can really fire their patients and they do send them letters like that...and Rosalie's prostitution charge was related to a game of truth or dare that went bad. HA

Last poll results: Compromise wins by 10 votes out of the 400 cast! I have a new poll up now, go check it out. I don't know who's all voting for the vile Mike Newton but...YUCK!