A/N: Protectors of the Plot Continuum was founded by Jay and Acacia. Excerpts in italics taken from A Strange Fate by Abby Marie Sheppard.
Allison was sitting at the desk in Response Center 80s. She was typing up the report of their last mission.
Allison jumped up as the console beeped loudly. She quickly saved the mission report and walked over to the console to check what new mission they were dealt with.
"Another Stargate Atlantis Sue?" She frowned. "Is this some sort of you get one you get them all?" she asked her partner, who just walked in from the adjacent bathroom.
"You know how PPC Headquarters works: if you don't want them, you'll get them," Tasmin replied.
"Yes, but you want them."
Tasmin thought about this for a moment. "That's probably why the console beeped while I wasn't in the room." She walked over to the console. "On the other hand, there are two Sues in this fic, and I don't want that either."
"Great, two Sues. I hadn't even read that far."
"You didn't? You should have. You should always go into a fic prepared."
"If I read anything of the fic before going in, I'm sure I would run away from it as far as possible. Not preparing actually allows me to do a better job."
Tasmin rolled her eyes. "Let's just get ready for this fic. Portal to the Gate Room, same disguises as last time." Tasmin turned around to get her duffelbag while Allison punched in her instructions in the console.
"Wow, there's quite a crowd here," Allison said looking around the room.
"Everyone is always very anxious to see the new Sues arrive."
Allison turned to the Words that lit up in the distance. "So what have we got here? A scientific expedition. Sues that are scientists. That ought to be good."
It was at that moment that the realization hit her. She was finally going to Atlantis, finally going to be with the man she loved after three long years.
"This Sue hasn't had sex in three years." Allison almost doubled over laughing.
"For some people sex is not the most important part of a relationship."
"C'mon. Sex is the only reason not to call a relationship friendship."
Tasmin was lost for words for a moment. She shook her head. "Anyway, what made you conclude the Sue hasn't had sex in three years?"
"Sues don't speak of friends as the man they love, and they are annoyingly monogamous. Hence..."
"You have a strange, strange value system."
"I also have a sex life. So, I don't really care."
Tasmin did not want to discuss that topic any further and was glad to see that the new scientific expedition came through the Stargate.
It was all quiet until both Raven and Jen came tearing through the gate giggling as they went. They were both military officers but they were both the best at their fields and they knew it so they pushed their boundaries as much as possible.
Tasmin rolled her eyes. "Military officers that behave like teenagers visiting a theme park. Boy, this will be fun."
"McKay over there is just bouncing with enthusiasm." Allison pointed.
McKay apparently knew the two Sues and introduced them to Weir.
"This one is Major Raven Mysti Carter the daughter Lt Colonel Samantha Carter and the other one is trouble-maker Lt Jennifer Hayley. I wouldn't have allowed you to approve them coming here only that they are the most brilliant minds in their fields."
"Yeah, I know," Tasmin said. "McKay acknowledging someone else as brilliant, but he did limit their brilliance just to their field. Even though he knows almost everything about almost everything."
"I'm not talking about that. It's always painful to share a name with a Sue."
Tasmin smirked. "Your middle name is Mysti? 'Cause it can't be Raven. No one would name a blonde person Raven." Tasmin chuckled.
Allison glared at her partner. "It's Carter."
Tasmin shrugged. "I wouldn't worry about that. Besides, you can always pretend it's a different last name, seen as you manage to pronounce yours as having no R's in it."
"That is how R's are supposed to be pronounced."
"Sure, and the letter after Y rhymes with pet."
Allison produced a low grunt. "Anyway, I guess McKay is not the man this 'scientist' has been longing to see for three years."
"Yeah." Tasmin sighed. "He gets a lot of abuse in this fandom, and very little love."
"This surprises you?"
"Sure. House is just as brilliant, verbal abusive and arrogant as McKay, yet House gets a lot of Sue loving."
"You have a point there. I guess McKay is just lucky. In an odd sort of way."
"Yeah, let's call him lucky."
"Never mind what to call McKay. What are we going to call these two Sues to distinguish between them? I suggest Mysti-Sue and Jen-Sue."
"Mysti-Sue? Why call her by her middle name?"
"Like you said: she's not raven."
Sheppard stepped into the little circle made up by the two Sues and doctors Weir and McKay. He gave Mysti-Sue a hug.
"Is it too early to dub him Mister Sue-Magnet?"
"Probably not. He's the prettiest of the Stargate Atlantis cast."
"I don't know. That Ronon is quite the catch himself."
Tasmin shrugged. "I guess."
"C'mon. He's tall, muscular. He's a hunk. Do you even like men?"
"Or are you more into women?"
"Not after spending twenty-odd missions with you hunting for Sue."
"Don't like men, don't like women. Do you even have a sexuality?"
"Can we change the subject and concentrate on the matter at hand?"
"Gladly. Sort of."
McKay asked Sheppard how he knew the Sue he was holding on to, and Sheppard explained.
"Well it may come as a bit of a shock, but before I left earth Raven and I were dating and just before I left I asked her to marry me. She said yes and vowed that she would one day meet with me here."
"I'm shocked," Allison said. "I thought Sheppard came to Atlantis because he had nothing better to do."
"He did. Surely you agree going to Atlantis is better than marrying a Sue."
"Sure." Allison chuckled. "I just don't think this Sue would see it quite the way we do. Anyway, she makes it sound like he had no choice in taking this mission." She pulled her notepad from her pocket and started scribbling.
"Oh, and add that Sheppard went back to Earth after the Siege of Atlantis, but apparently didn't stop to visit the Sue."
Sheppard said he and Mysti-Sue had some catching up to do and led her to his room. Tasmin and Allison followed on a little distance. And behind them followed Lorne and Ronon carrying a double bed.
"A prank?" Allison asked jerking her head over her shoulder.
"More like a walking plothole. Apparently, major Lorne has become a mover."
"And freakishly strong. That bed looks heavy. And like it should have been taken apart into separate elements that are easier to transport than a complete bed."
Mysti-Sue told Sheppard that her mother had always tried to prevent her from going to Atlantis, but McKay specifically requesting her finally got her on an expedition. When they reached Sheppard's room, the Sue and Sheppard went in. The PPC agents kept walking so as not to attract the attention of the Sue.
They turned a corner and stood in front of the door to the meeting room. Allison gave Tasmin a surprised look.
"I guess we just stepped into the next chapter without noticing."
In the meeting room were Weir, McKay and Sheppard, all waiting for the two Sues. It seemed they had been waiting for them for an hour. There was the sound of running down the corridor and the agents stepped out of the way of the door, just in time for the two Sues to flash by them.
The Sues explained to Weir that they were late because they had tried to find the fastest way around the city.
"Well the next time you girls think of something like that I suggest that you work out the answer after you attend the meeting which you were called to."
"That's a very mild reprimand," Allison commented. "Isn't the military usually a bit more strict about showing up on time?"
"Weir is not military."
"No, but they supposedly are. They're a major and a lieutenant. Usually you get more upset about these things."
"I'm trying to ignore that anyone ever mentioned they are officers."
"You can just do that?"
"Do you want me to rant about the fact that a major should be at least in her thirties and not be addressed, nor behave as a fourteen-year-old girl?"
"Then don't ask."
Raven nodded and looked to McKay.
"So what did you call us here for?"
Rolling his eyes, he pressed a button on the remote he was holding and a picture of a new nuclear reactor appeared on the projector screen.
"We just received three nuclear reactors. I want to know how we can keep it sustainable but get maximum power."
"And this McKay can't do himself?" Allison twirled her pencil.
"Well, you know how Sues always need an excuse to join the story."
"Yes, but couldn't they have been a relief of the regular scientific crew. Others than Sheppard may have been here for more than three years."
"No doubt, but regular scientific crew are usually just bit characters."
"Fanfiction is about writing the stories that don't get written by the staff writers. Writing a story with a lead role for the regular scientific crew is very much in the spirit of that."
"True, but none of the regular scientific crew can put McKay intellectually in his place."
"Well how about we just do it and not tell you how?"
"You call that putting McKay intellectually in his place?"
"I didn't say anyone else was capable of it either."
McKay was shocked at the lack of cooperation of the two Sues. Weir added that it was McKay's own rule that experts could ban others that were not involved from their lab.
Allison looked at Tasmin.
"Okay, McKay could have made that rule. But McKay is involved in making the most of that power source, so he can't be banned."
The Sues said they had made the alternations already on Earth and now it was time for them to go sparring. The two of them burst through the door like a whirlwind and each pulled a knife. They circled each other looking for an opportunity to attack. Then they tackled each other.
They were stuck, each had the other pinned down.
Allison cocked her head. "That just looks weird. A stalemate hold is one thing, but a double pin... This actually reminds me of that joke about the little boy that wished he was two puppies so he could play with himself."
Tasmin shot her partner a look.
Allison smirked. "Obviously, it was a very young boy."
The two Sues had drawn a crowd which looked on with interest. The Sues made a bet: if Misty-Sue won she would get to wear the clothes of the other Sue; if Jen-Sue won Misty-Sue and Sheppard would have to sing a song to the entire Atlantis staff.
As soon as the word was spoken, both girls pushed themselves away from their opponent and took up a fighting stance. Then in a blur of moves they attacked. No-one watching could tell who was who. Suddenly a yell filled the air and they looked to see that Jen had finally disarmed Raven and had her pinned to the floor.
"It looks like we have something to look forward to." Allison smiled at her partner.
"I just thought of something," Tasmin said as the scenery briefly turned dark to indicate another end of chapter. When the light returned the agents were standing in the briefing room.
"I thought your thought process ran continuously." Allison tried to snag one of McKay's sandwiches while he was making jabs at Sheppard for having to sing.
"It does, and this particular thought just came up. In canon Sheppard didn't exactly behave as a man with a fiancée back home waiting for him. By asking her to marry him, this Sue has inadvertently given Sheppard your shaky value system."
Allison fell on the floor laughing.
Tasmin rolled her eyes and prodded her partner with her foot. "Stop that. Important things are being discussed here."
"Oh there is one other thing. Major Carter will be accompanying you. I have asked her to go with you to take mineral samples and to keep an eye on the lot of you. I know how you can easily get into trouble."
"That's not funny." Allison quickly sat up. "I'm sure Sheppard gets into all sorts of trouble on his missions; undoubtedly it is what makes Stargate Atlantis a fun show to watch. What he doesn't need is a fourteen-year-old baby-sitting him."
"Very true. Plus a moment ago she was a nuclear physicist and now she's a mineralogist?"
"Perhaps she has to collect radioactive rocks?"
The briefing ended and all left the room. The agents followed McKay and Sheppard to McKay's lab. Sheppard was trying to find a place to hide from the two Sues, something the agents sympathised with.
"There is no way I am letting you hide in my lab. You almost destroyed it last time."
"That ever happen? Or is this just McKay bashing by proxy: Sheppard being careless with his stuff?"
Tasmin shook her head. "This fic is marked as Romance/Humor. I guess the McKay bashing falls into the humour category."
McKay managed to get into his lab, and keep Sheppard out of it. He looked around and saw the Sues coming around the corner.
Tasmin and Allison saw them too, and also noticed they had nowhere to hide. Tasmin quickly thumped a wall. A data panel revealed itself and the agents took to studying that intently.
"The Sue is coming," Allison whispered. "Look busy."
Tasmin rolled her eyes and made a mental note to slap her partner in the back of the head for that one later.
"So what brings you to this part of Atlantis?"
She asked, studying his reaction. She could always tell when he was lying.
"Horrible paragraphing, and implying that Sheppard was in the habit of lying to her." Allison made a note on the charge sheet.
Sheppard admitted he had been trying to hide from the Sues. Mysti-Sue told him to be ready at six.
She left him standing there wishing the earth would open up and swallow him whole.
"I'm wishing the ground would open up and swallow her whole."
"Hear, hear. And write her up for referring to this hall way's floor as made of earth."
Allison chuckled lightly. "It's either that or she forgot to capitalize and got the planet wrong."
Tasmin turned to the Words. "Nothing interesting happening here any more. Let's take a portal to this performance at six." She pulled the remote activator from her duffelbag and opened a portal.
In the function room a stage had been set up with two microphones and a sound system. A large crowd of spectators had gathered and applauded when Jen-Sue went on stage waving a CD.
"The song I have planned for them to sing is one they both know very well. 'Just for this moment.' From the stage production 'Wicked'"
"Please tell me that Sheppard never could have seen that musical?"
"Well, he went to Atlantis in July 2004. Wicked first opened in October 2003. He could have seen it. The CD came out in December 2003 so he may have heard it."
Allison looked up at her partner. "You know, you scare me some times."
Sheppard and Mysti-Sue walked onto the stage and took the microphones. The Sue started to sing.
"Aargh." Tasmin dropped her head in her hands. "The name of that song is not 'Just for this moment'; it's 'As long as you're mine'. At least get the name of the song right if you're going to copy all the lyrics."
Allison quietly stepped away from her partner. "You really scare me some times."
The audience loved the performance. Their applause was loud, and so were their cheers and shouts for an encore. Sheppard and Mysti-Sue took some bows and then made their way off the stage to stand with the other main characters. They were very surprised Sheppard could sing so well. So, he made a little confession.
"Believe it or not, but I was in the drama class at school. We did a version of that musical. I got the lead roll of Fiyero."
"The Sue was this close to fly by an anachronism. This close." Allison held her thumb and forefinger half an inch apart. "And then she goes and hits one full on in the face." She shook her head as she made the note.
Mysti-Sue added that she and Jen-Sue had been freshmen then, but that they had gotten two of the other leads. Weir grinned and seemed to have decided on a punishment for the Sues for being late at the meeting after all when she sent them back onto the stage. The Sues reluctantly went.
They sang another song from Wicked but the end of it was cut off by a voice that sounded remarkably like the voice over the PA in MASH.
"Attention all staff. Please remain where you are until further instructions"
The agents looked at each other.
"Attention all staff. Someone lost a contact lens. Please do not move while we look for it," Allison said.
"Attention all staff. We have detected two toxic elements on the podium in the function room. Atlantis is placed under a level four quarantine. Please stay where you are while we disinfect the City."
Allison grinned. "Do you also get the feeling we are just pawns in a game?"
"I wouldn't mind so much if I at least recognized the game we were in. Let's follow them to find out." Tasmin nodded towards Sheppard and Weir who left the room.
Sheppard got a strike team ready and had them all in the briefing room thirty minutes later. The two Sues were also part of the strike team.
"Would now not be a good time to say: I'm a doctor, not a gun wielder?" Allison asked.
The agents had chosen to stay in the control room and followed the briefing room scene through the Words.
"That's a thing a medical doctor would say. They're doctors through PhD, if they are doctors at all. It was never mentioned. It was mentioned they were in the military."
"Ugh, brilliant scientists and military. What is with this fandom that it attracts Sues like that?"
"I think because Sam Carter is also both. I don't see why that would be any excuse, though. As far as I know, all the scientists on Atlantis just work for the military. They aren't military themselves. At least, they never get referred to by rank."
"As you all know this is a strike mission. You are to disarm and capture the wraith if you can. They are going to land on a neighboring planet of PKZ-673."
"Does that make sense to you?"
"No, it doesn't. I have all kinds of questions about the purpose of this mission, most importantly: why does it sound like they are going to have a ground battle with the Wraith? Wraith don't leave their Dart ships unless they have to, and they don't have to to capture people for their culling. I also don't understand why they want to disarm and capture Wraith."
"Huge one. I think after showing, telling, what brilliant scientists the Sues are, how good at hand to hand combat and what lovely singing voices they have, it is now time to learn how good they are in combat."
Apparently very good.
"I have decided to place Major Carter in command of the beta team as she has been in command of more missions and in more combat situations than Lieutenant Lorne."
"She so has not!" Tasmin jumped up and stormed forward. She stopped at the balustrade gripping it tightly. "It's Department of Defence law. It's called the Aspin Rules: Female soldiers are exempt from assignments in smaller direct ground combat units that engage in deliberate offensive action against the enemy, and from units that collocate with them. There is no way she could have lead more strike forces than Lorne. Not even if Lorne had had a desk job up until now."
"I thought he was a mover," Allison said in an attempt to make light of the situation.
Tasmin narrowed her eyes. "Plus Lorne is a major. Do not mess with the rank of Lorne."
On the planet, the military personnel were split into alpha and beta teams. The alpha team was taking the right side of the ambush zone and beta was taking the left.
"This planet was designated as a neighbouring planet of an ally. Does that sound to you like they had actually or even ever done any recon on the planet?" Tasmin cocked her head as she studied the Words. She sounded calmer to Allison.
"Not really." Allison added 'no recon' to the list of offences associated with this one mission.
"I don't think so either. How does this Sue expect this mission to be successful if they don't even know what they are getting in to?" Tasmin spun around. "We're going in."
"Actually, I quite like it here. And we, and by that I probably mean I, don't know what we're getting into."
Tasmin did not reply. She got the remote activator from her duffelbag and opened a portal. Allison sighed and followed her through.
The agents had positioned themselves in a tree. That is to say: Tasmin was sitting more or less leisurely on a branch and Allison was clinging on to the tree trunk for dear life.
"You're not afraid of heights are you?"
"Oh, no. Of course not, of course not. Not me, not me," Allison squealed. "I just have this irrational fear about dying. I'm afraid it will be the end."
Down on the ground the SGA strike force got in position and a Wraith ship landed. Wraith pouring out of it immediately.
"Is there any danger of us getting culled by the Wraith?" Allison asked.
"Wraith have a self-destruct button."
"Is that anywhere I can reach while I'm being culled?"
"Don't worry. The Wraith won't come after us. Wraith that don't go after the SGA strike force don't exist to us, okay?"
The Wraith, however, were not the only enemies the SGA strike force encountered. As soon as they mounted their attack they were taken under fire by a third party. Sheppard decided to call retreat.
"If they had done some recon of their ambush location they might have known they had an enemy here too." Tasmin shook her head. Allison just grunted in reply.
"Spread out and make a line to the gate."
Raven told her team as she took point.
"Spread out ànd make a line?" Tasmin chuckled. "Geometrically speaking a line, of course, doesn't have to be straight. But with all the little men spread out it does become a silly game of connect-the-dots."
"I'm not writing any of that down until I'm safely back on the ground."
Mysti-Sue's team was close to the Stargate when unexpectedly hundreds of men jumped from the trees. The Sue dialled Atlantis and the tree-men stood in awe as the gate opened.
Making a break for it and firing her weapon, Raven ran away from the group. As she thought, almost all of the men chased her, leaving her team able to run for the gate and make it back to the safety of Atlantis.
Tasmin rolled her eyes. "Hundreds of men came after her? This Sue has serious delusions of grandeur. Most of them probably couldn't even see her because there were so many others standing in the way. And why are they not firing at her what they were firing at them before? Did they all fall on their heads when they jumped from the trees?"
Allison looked up at the Words. It was the only direction she dare look in. "It says here that Sheppard's team also went for the Stargate."
"Leaving one of their own behind?" Tasmin looked at the Stargate. It closed after the last of the alpha team had gone through. "From beginning to end this whole mission is very much unlike Sheppard."
"You'd think that Sues that claim to be in love with a character would at least let them keep their good characteristics."
"Sues don't discriminate; they muck about with everything. Can we get down from this tree yet?"
"Yeah. Further ahead the Sue is surrounded by the tree-men and she wants to be taken to their leader."
"Good, and this tree has branches that make it look like a spiral staircase." Allison cautiously peered down and saw the fic had accommodated her. It was now easy for her to descend the tree.
The first thing that Raven could sense was that she was restrained and there was a stench that stung her nostrils. She started to pull against her restraints. Freeing her hands, Raven sat herself up and looked around for away to escape. Creeping towards the door she paused as heavy footsteps echoed off the stone walls.
Suddenly she was shoved against the wall with some force. She was briefly disoriented by the knock against the back of her head. Her assailant kneed her in the abdomen and she doubled over. She was pushed to the ground. Her arms were twisted behind her back and someone bound her thumbs together using tie-strips.
"Let's see you try and get out of those restraints," Tasmin said.
"Just to be on the safe side, let's also tie her feet together." Allison started to undo the Sue's shoelaces and tied them together in a big knot.
"Major Raven Mysti Carter," Tasmin started. "We're agents Tasmin and Allison of the Protectors of the Plot Continuum and we are here to charge you with crimes against fanfiction in general and Stargate Atlantis in particular. Most importantly we are charging you with making an absolute mockery of the US Air Force. As a USAF major you are at least in your thirties; you should not be behaving like a fourteen-year-old on stimulants, at least not while on duty. Off-duty use of stimulants is also prohibited so your behaviour should have warranted an investigation.
"As a woman in the US military you do not have experience in leading an ambush mission because the US does not allow women to be part of ground troupes that deliberately engage in combat, that includes laying ambushes. Your inexperience further showed in the fact that the strike force had not seemed to have gathered any intell on the location where they were going to lay their ambush.
"We also charge you with having the tree-men ambush your team properly, and then all abandon it to run after you. Allison?"
"Oh, you go a head. You seem to be on a roll."
"Thank you." Tasmin smiled briefly. "We charge you with being lieutenant-colonel Samantha Carter's daughter. She can't be more than ten years older than you. Do you have any idea how sick that is? Even if she had adopted you that would be iffy, seen as Sam acknowledges herself that she is not very capable of having a normal life. If you had to be related couldn't you have said sister or cousin?"
"She had me when she was fifteen."
"I'm sorry. Did you speak?"
"Teenage pregnancy. She had me when she was fifteen."
"First of all, you didn't listen when I said the age gap between the two of you is less than ten years. Secondly, the average age of first sexual relations is seventeen. For geeky people, such as Sam, it's higher. I very much doubt she had a boyfriend in high-school.
"We charge you with being John Sheppard's fiancée, and causing him to behave out of character. Sheppard would have done intell before he was going to lay an ambush. Sheppard would not leave one of his own team behind in an ambush. Sheppard does not need a baby-sitter when he goes on a mission. Particularly not a person that up to that moment has only shown she needs a baby-sitter herself. Sheppard also did not play Fiyero in high-school. Wicked had not been brought to the stage yet when he was in high-school.
"We charge you with having multiple fields of expertise as a scientist, notably mineralogy and something relating to nuclear physics. At which you also claim to be more expert than McKay. We charge you with abusing McKay by insulting his intelligence. We charge you with abusing McKay by proxy. We charge you with demoting Lorne from major to lieutenant. We charge you with making Lorne move furniture for Sheppard. We charge you with sparring in the corridor and having stupid dares. We charge you with being a Mary Sue.
"Allison, is there anything I have forgotten?"
"I don't know why you ask me to keep notes of charges. You seem to have perfect recollection of them." Allison peered at her notepad.
"It's so you will also have something to do on our missions."
"Ha, you missed one. We charge you with bad paragraphing."
"You have been charged," Tasmin said to the Sue. "Do you understand these charges?"
"Who are you people? What are you doing to me?"
"Again, you haven't been listening. We are Protectors of the Plot Continuum. We have charged you for crimes against fanfiction and Stargate Atlantis.The punishment for your crimes is death. Allison will execute you now."
Allison got a firm grip on the Sue's head and jerked it to the left. Her neck broke with a sound snap. Allison got up and patted the dirt of her hands.
"I guess since this isn't a canon location we can just leave the Sue here and let the world fold in on itself."
"Yes." Tasmin knelt down to feel for a pulse on the Sue.
"A good thing too. We still have that other Sue to charge."
"You do the charging. I want to shoot her." Tasmin got up and opened a portal back to Atlantis.
"I'm a little surprised that you didn't want to shoot this one too."
"I wanted too, but I thought if I held her at gun point while you charged her my finger might slip."
Allison chuckled as she hopped through the portal.
The agents found Jen-Sue in the Gate Room. She was just standing around with the other members of the strike force.
"Lieutenant Jennifer Hayley," Allison addressed her. "We are Protectors of the Plot Continuum and we are here to charge you with crimes against fanfiction in general and Stargate Atlantis in particular. We charge you with being an officer in the military, yet giggling like a teenager in a theme park when going on a mission. We charge you for being verbally abusive to McKay and not getting an earful over that. We charge you with being late for a meeting over a silly dare. We charge you with sparring in the corridor. We charge you with getting the name of the song from Wicked wrong. We charge you with aiding and abetting a Mary Sue, and we charge you with being a Mary Sue yourself. By the way, did you and Mysti, er, Raven join the Air Force around the same time?"
Jen-Sue gave Tasmin's gun a furtive look. "Yes?" She nodded.
"Then you should have had the same rank, unless you are so incompetent that they keep passing you up for promotion," Tasmin said.
"That's Tasmin," Allison said. "Your punishment is death. She will shoot you."
The Sue didn't even have time to stop looking surprised before the bullet penetrated her forehead.
A/N: I'm a little hard put saying anything constructive about this story. It seemed quite clearly wishfulfillment with complete disregard of the canon. I do believe it is possible to write wishfulfillment fic while taking the canon into consideration, but that would require a different kind of wish, one that is at least competable with the canon.