Rating: T

Summary: Torchwood is sent to a group of villages in Berkshire to investigate a rash of pregnancies.

Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood the BBC does and I don't own the Hazy Hassocks/Fiddlesticks/Bagley-cum-Russet characters, they belong to Christina Jones

Authors Notes: I'm a big fan of Christina Jones' books especially the 'Spellbinding' ones, so I though why not have Torchwood meet the crazy locals and discover not all weirdness is evil.

"Hey Martha what can Torchwood do for you on this fine summer morning" said Captain Jack Harkness down the phone,

"It's more like what I can do for you and it's pissing down here in London" replied Dr Martha Jones with a chuckle,

"There are so many answers to a statement like that Dr Jones" he said. Martha's tone lost some of its humour,

"I'm serious, a mate of Tom's came to see us last night and he told us about a...well...outbreak of pregnancy in Berkshire" she said,

"Nothing that unusual there" he replied,

"Thirty women in three villages all due to give birth within days of each other" said Martha. Jack instantly became serious,

"Tell me more" he said,

"According to Tom's mate, all these women live in the villages of Hazy Hassocks, Fiddlesticks and Bagley-cum-Russet" she began

"You're kidding right?" he remarked,

"Apparently the rest of the Doctor's at the hospital aren't that bothered, they say weird things happen all the time in those villages but Pete, Tom's mate, he's not so sure, he was one of the few people who knew Harold Saxon was a nutter and thinks that this might be some 'Black Project'. He's been a bit of a conspiracy nut since the American President was killed but we know better, eh" she explained

"We'll look in to it and thanks for letting me know, I'll let you and Tom know what we find, give my love to your mum and Tish" Jack said,

"Will do and thanks" said Martha as she put the phone down. Jack left his office and yelled to the rest of the team

"Ok, get packed and be back here in an hour, we're going on a trip to England" he said.

Later that day...

Jack and the team rolled into the village of Hazy Hassocks early in the afternoon, Owen looked out of the window at the people all nudging each other and pointing at the SUV,

"Yep, we're gonna blend in perfectly" he said sarcastically "you know we should really think about something less conspicuous",

"Like your car?" said Ianto with a smirk.

"At least it doesn't scream 'Look, we're a secret organization'" Owen replied with a sneer,

"No it screams mid life crisis" retorted Ianto, Gwen and Tosh giggled,

"Hey, can we focus here" Ianto and Owen had been sniping at each other since they left Cardiff "Owen, we going to drop you off at the surgery, I made an appointment for you to see a Dr Murray about the pregnancies, we're going...to take a look around" Jack finished lamely. Owen bit back a snarky reply as he was in enough trouble as it was, he sighed, got out of the car, shoved his hands in his pockets and trudged towards the surgery.


Bunty Darrington glared at the man who shoved his way through the surgery door, no one else should be coming in at the moment, as surgery had finished until Four O'clock,

"Yes" she snapped, Owen groaned inwardly, great another dragon of a Doctor's Receptionist,

"Owen Harper to see Dr Murray" he said,

"Surgery doesn't start until four" Bunty retorted. Owen ran his hand over his face and resisted the urge to strangle the woman

"It's a professional call, I'm Doctor Owen Harper, Dr Murray is expecting me" he replied, he silently added 'I hope' to the end, Bunty looked through the diary,

"I can't see your name here" she said, Owen plastered a grin on his face,

"Could you go and find out if I'm expected, I'd hate for you to turf me out only to find that Dr Murray was waiting for me" he replied as sweetly as he could. He had her now, the one thing these dragons couldn't stand was being made to look inefficient,

"Wait here" she snapped as she left her desk, Owen looked around him, there were at least five pregnant women in the waiting room, must be anti natal day he thought, maybe there was something in this after all.

Bunty came stomping back,

"Dr Murray will see you now, it's the last door on the left" she said, Owen made his way down the corridor and knocked on the door,

"Come in" a female voice replied, 'at last things are looking up' he thought. He opened the door and made his way over to the desk

"Owen Harper, thanks for seeing me" he said as he shook Dr Murray's hand, noting that she was at least five months pregnant, about the same as the other women in the waiting room,

"Louise Murray, what can I do for you?" she said. Owen handed over his ID,

"I'm from Torchwood" he said, deciding honesty was best at the moment, Louise looked over his ID,

"What's Torchwood, some oversight committee?" she asked,

"No, we investigate...strange phenomena, weird goings on that kind of thing" Owen replied, thinking that sounded really pathetic, Louise laughed,

"You're in the right place then, we do 'weird' really well around here, so what weird do you want to know about?" she said,

"Well, it's about all the pregnancies" he said with a little embarrassment, Louise ran her hand over her belly and chuckled,

"Yeah there has been a bit of a population explosion around these parts" she said,

"How do you explain it, something in the water, power cut, the Big Brother final?" he asked,

"Who knows, it could be any of those things or Mitzi Blessing's cakes, Sukie Ambrose's massage oils, Clemmie Coddle's fireworks or one of the Astral celebrations in Fiddlesticks, I really can't explain it but then, as I said, a lot of strange things happen around here especially in the romance line" she explained. Owen was sure she was taking the piss, but his time in Torchwood had taught him not to discount anything, he got up from his chair and stretched out his hand to shake Dr Murray's, surreptitiously dropping a little white pill into her tea,

"Thanks for your help, I doubt you'll be hearing from Torchwood again, don't let me keep you from your tea" he replied with a smile as she picked up her cup, it worked every time.


Jack, Ianto, Gwen and Tosh parked up and wandered down what they assumed to be the High Street,

"Owen's right, we should really try and blend in a bit more" said Gwen as yet another person glared at her as she passed by, Tosh eyed Jack's clothing and agreed,

"Now what?" she asked. Gwen took another look around her and spotted a shop named Beauty Blessings, a plan began to form,

"If there's one thing I learned in the Police Force is that there are two places to find out the local gossip, one is the pub and one is the beauty parlour, so you and Ianto go to the pub and me and Tosh will try in here" she pointed to the shop, Jack opened his mouth to protest,

"Unless you want to trade places" she said with a grin. Jack held up his hands,

"Nope, your plan sounds best" he said and he and Ianto headed towards the Faery Glen,

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" said Tosh as the walked towards Beauty Blessings,

"I have no idea, but at least we can get a manicure on expenses" Gwen replied with a grin.

TBC