Love, Love, Love is here! I wanted to put this up by the end of September but it really didn't go that well… I was too busy on WOTN. Sorry.
Well, I know it's unexpected. But I think a oneshot series is good for my health. I mean, I have bits and pieces of random stories in my head and nowhere to let it out on because it doesn't fit with any of my other and/or upcoming stories.
Length of each oneshot will vary, but I don't think by a lot.
Summary: Sasuke never knew that Sakura slept only with a sports bra and short shorts on. [Prove she's your girlfriend, Uchiha Sasuke! Kiss her here and now, in front of all Konohagakure!
Standard disclaimer applied.
Chapter 1: Kiss, Kiss
Sasuke inwardly growled and cursed Tsunade. Just because the hospital was in dire need for more medics just because some ANBU came back badly wounded didn't mean that she could send him, Uchiha Sasuke, elite ANBU captain, to do a task even a genin could do.
He had to go get one of the top medics, Tsunade's apprentice, to come to the hospital to help out.
Haruno Sakura. His teammate.
His female teammate.
His female teammate who, when he entered her room through the window of her apartment, was dressed in nothing but a sports bra that did nothing to cover her up and black short shorts that clung to her skin.
When had she gotten so… so…
'Don't think about her–'
The light blue sheets were tangled around her long, slender legs –
Her chest rising up and down every time she took long, deep breaths –
'Think about Itachi's corpse on the bloody ground–.'
The way her toned stomach and goddess-like face glowed as the ethereal moonlight bathed her lithe yet curvy figure–
Swallowing back his bad thoughts, he soundlessly stepped closer to her bed, and, closing his eyes, he poked her forehead. "Oi. Sakura."
She let out a low moan of protest and swatted his hand away.
Tsunade had warned him that she hadn't gotten any sleep for the last 72 hours before she sent him to retrieve Sakura and bring her to the hospital. She could be very… difficult to wake, Tsunade had told him.
He hadn't believed her. In the few times he had gone on missions with her after he had come back from Otogakure, she had always been up and alert, and the slightest of movements could wake her. But now, she sounded like even a full-scale attack on Konoha couldn't wake her from her deep slumber.
Growling lowly, he tried again. "Sakura."
But Sakura didn't swat his hand away again. Instead, her arms stretched out, grabbed the front his Jounin vest, and pulled him down…
His head landed on her (Tsunade-like) chest.
He held back the urge to activate his Sharingan. 'Fuckfuckfuckfuck–'
She groaned, and his eyes widened. Was he cursing out loud?
"Sa – ku – ra…" Breathing when squashed to Haruno Sakura's chest can be really hard.
And then… her eyes snapped open.
But her arm strength was still legendary.
Slowly, her eyes roved round the room, until they landed on Sasuke.
Who was still partially lying on top of her.
She did what any groggy kunoichi would do to someone that was on her bed.
"GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU PERVERT!"
Did he mention before that she could smash anyone through three walls?
That was going to hurt for a while.
Tsunade looked as if she was going to burst into laughter any moment.
Kakashi was leaning against the wall, his dirty book held in one hand. But his lone eye was also diverted (surprisingly) toward him.
Naruto was unabashedly laughing his ass off, hurting his (very big) ego. His face was so red, his orange ensemble clashing with the red face.
And Sakura… was sitting in a chair, sulking, refusing to talk to him.
It wasn't his fault that Tsunade sent him to get her.
It wasn't his fault that Sakura hadn't gotten any sleep in 72 hours.
It wasn't his fault that he couldn't wake her up.
And it certainly wasn't his fault that she had an overly large chest.
So why was Sakura pinning the blame on no one else but him? He had done what Tsunade had told him to do.
Naruto's laughter was getting on his nerves.
"Dobe. Shut. Up." Ow. Talking still hurt his broken (beautiful) cheekbone.
Well, at least his fangirls (hopefully) won't see anything beautiful about his black-and-blue face. And maybe they won't stalk him for at least a couple of weeks.
"Sakura, you're being irrational." Tsunade was clenching her fists so that her nails would dig into her palms. 'Stupid old hag.' But at least the Godaime was trying to suppress her laugher. "Sasuke was sent to get you, he was just doing his job."
Finally, someone who can think straight. But still, the "on-the-verge-of-breaking-into-hysterical-laughter" thing was still pissing him off.
Naruto was still laughing, gasping for breath.
His hands involuntarily twitched into handsigns for his favorite Katon jutsu but Kakashi caught his eye and shook his head.
'Stupid Kakashi.' Sasuke knew that Kakashi was laughing too – on the inside.
He gritted his teeth as Sakura replied haughtily. "Tsunade-shishou, you're on a much higher level of healing than me. You can heal Sasuke-kun. Besides, I'm low on chakra because of all those patients."
He knew that Sakura was lying. He knew that she had expanded her chakra reserves by a lot, but she was sucking up to Tsunade because she didn't want to heal him herself.
He hoped that Tsunade wouldn't fall for Sakura's trick.
Tsunade's eyes lit up as fake glitter and confetti fell from God-knows-where to the floor. "You really think so, Sakura-chan?"
Sasuke swore the pink-haired vixen threw him a smug look before she turned to her shishou, eyes sparkling. "Of course I do, shishou!"
The two women hugged and a moonlit beach appeared behind them.
Naruto stopped laughing for a moment to see if that was really Sakura and Tsunade instead of Gai and Lee.
But when the moonlit beach faded away, Naruto promptly went back to laughing and Sasuke went back to wondering how an idiot could laugh for such a long time.
But then again, this was Uzumaki Naruto after all.
He hated his life.
"That was very smooth," Naruto chortled as he and Sasuke walked out the door. Sakura had stayed behind for her shift in the hospital, and Kakashi had gone somewhere in a poof of smoke.
Sasuke glared at his best friend. In the end, Tsunade had returned to her senses and Sakura had to heal him.
He knew that she deliberately didn't numb his bruise before setting his cheekbone back into place.
He knew that she wouldn't talk to him for at least a couple weeks; she could be very stubborn when she wanted to be.
He knew that she knew that she was wrong.
Sakura wasn't stupid or irrational (most of the time). She, after she had gotten back to her senses, had realized that Sasuke was only doing what her shishou had told him to do.
But she was a stubborn bitch. Her pride prevented her from apologizing, or from talking to him again.
And surprisingly, he liked it to a point.
"So," Naruto said seriously. "Are you going to apologize?"
The Uchiha blinked, then growled at the blonde. "Why should I apologize? She knows she's wrong."
Naruto sighed, as if Sasuke was some clueless boy who didn't know what cooties were. "Teme, teme, teme. I thought you were smart!"
Insert 'Black Uchiha Death Glare ©'.
Naruto laughed nervously as Sasuke's hate was directed toward him but continued nonetheless. "Seriously, teme. Sakura-chan can be very stubborn. Like that one time I ran into her in the showers, but that's not the point. You've got to woo her and make her think you're sorry. You don't actually have to apologize, but make her think you're sorry."
Sasuke opened his mouth to retort, but a gazillion thoughts raced through his head. Actually… it wasn't that of a bad idea.
But… something about Naruto's lecture bothered him.
"Wait… what about the showers?!"
Naruto would stumble toward his pearl-eyed girlfriend hours later badly beaten and burned.
"So where does it hurt?"
The man, her patient, faked a huge sigh of despair. "Sakura-san… it hurts… right here."
He put on a dramatic show of placing his hand over the area where his heart was.
She decided to play dumb. "Uh… right. So… have you ever had a heart attack before then?"
Her patient looked stunned for a second, surprised that the trick didn't work. Sakura had to admit, he was pretty handsome but he was just too… idiotic for her.
He decided to try a different tactic.
"Sakura-san," he sighed, grabbing her hand.
'Back away, bitch.'
"I feel all better now."
She perked up. "Really? Then I'll get going now. I have to finish my rounds. See you tomorrow?"
He gave her a puppy-dog pout.
No. She remained adamant.
"Sakura-san… I hear there's new restaurant opening tomorrow…"
"I'm sorry but–"
"C'mon… one tiny date's not going to kill anyone–" He scooted closer, too close to her shocked face, but was stopped by a gloved hand.
"Anyone but you."
She stiffened at the deep baritone. He… wasn't supposed to be here. He was supposed to be at home sulking because she wouldn't heal his (very hot) face.
Her patient's eyes widened and he stuttered out the ANBU captain's name with fearful reverence.
"I know something you don't," Naruto whispered to Sasuke confidentially as Sasuke completely ignored him and chose a few tomatoes from a vendor.
"Something about… winning over Sakura-chan."
He stopped in mid-bite (of his tomato) and turned.
"Every day, Sakura-chan goes on her rounds for the hospital."
"Noh thit dobe." No shit dobe. "Thie works ah duh hopital." She works at the hospital.
Naruto rolled his eyes. "I'm just trying to build the drama here. Yeesh."
Insert Uchiha Flat Glare (Now with an added flash of the Sharingan!)©.
"Anyway, there's this one guy she's been complaining about. His name's Kakaru Arashi, he's apparently a novice jounin. He's constantly been complaining about aches in his chest, and–"
"Cheesy pick up lines?" Sasuke drawled, swallowing the last of his tomato.
"Don't interrupt, teme!" Naruto snarled, his nostrils flaring like a rhino.
He shrugged, throwing the last of his tomato at Naruto, who hissed.
"Do you want Sakura-chan to get married to someone other than you?"
"Alright, alright. Anyway, yeah, with the cheesy pick up lines. I've been going around the jounin lounges, and Arashi's been saying that he's going to take Sakura-chan to the opening of that snazzy new restaurant tomorrow."
"Yeah, and this is probably the time that she's going to check up on him…"
"AW, DAMMIT! DON'T DO THAT SPEEDY MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARING THING ON ME!"
"U…Uchiha… S-Sasuke…?" The legendary name was spoken with fearful reverence.
Sakura closed her eyes. 'Count to ten, and think happy thoughts.' "Sasuke-kun…" she asked in a sugar sweet voice.
Arashi immediately started fandrooling while Sasuke knew that when her tone got like that, someone was going to go flying through three walls.
"What are you doing here?"
Arashi quickly gained his composure. "Yeah, Sasuke-san. Can't you see the door that says 'DO NOT DISTURB'?"
Sasuke stared blankly at the other man, who recoiled. Pathetic. "What's wrong with checking on my girlfriend during the middle of her shift?"
The novice jounin's eyes widened. 'B…but the Haruno Sakura fanclub newsletter says that she's SINGLE!'
"No," the Uchiha's husky voice cut through, as if he could read Arashi's thoughts. "Sorry to disappoint. She's mine."
For added emphasis, he snaked an arm around her thin waist and pulled her close to his jounin vest.
She made a small squeak of irritation. "Sas–"
He looked down at her stormy green eyes and gave her a warning. 'Play along.'
Then the tone she spoke in completely changed. "Sasuke-kun," she whined playfully, aiming a well-placed back kick to his knee. "I told you to wait until I finished."
Arashi's eyes narrowed. After all, no matter how perverted he may have been, he was still a jounin.
It turns out that Kakaru Arashi just faked his sickness to try to win over Haruno Sakura.
So the three of them walked out of the hospital into the busy marketplace, Arashi glaring at Sasuke's right arm (which still had a firm hold on Sakura's helpless form).
"Prove it. Prove she's your girlfriend, Uchiha Sasuke! Kiss her here and now, in front of all Konohagakure!"
It also turns out that Kakaru Arashi also had a megaphone mouth.
The whole marketplace seemed to stop breathing.
The poor kid. He looked nice. A jounin to boot. Must be retarded though, challenging Uchiha Sasuke. But… why was his arm around Haruno Sakura?
Sasuke stared blankly at Arashi, who smirked triumphantly.
"You can't do it, can you? Because she's not you're girlfriend!"
"I don't like repeating myself," Sasuke replied blandly.
"Then PROVE IT!" The other jounin screamed back challengingly.
Sasuke smirked devilishly, making Sakura shudder. Then… he spun her around, dipped her, then… kissed her.
She squeaked in surprise and she bunched up his vest, leaning in.
Arashi was crying, as well as other fanboys.
And… the fangirls were mourning.
"YEAH! SASUKE-TEME! YOU'RE FINALLY GONNA GET LAID!"
'Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu.'
Naruto ran towards the lake, screaming bloody murder. "DAMMIT, SASUKE-TEME!"
He turned back to Sakura after successfully torching the dobe, leaning forward that his forehead was touching hers.
"Look… I'm… sorry about what happened."
Her eyes softened and she pecked him on the cheek. "It's alright, Sasuke-kun…"
"But I'm not sorry about now. You're mine…"
She smirked. "Sasuke-kun, you should know that I'm a feminist–"
"But I really don't think the Uchiha matriarch should have an anger problem… nor should she punch like a rhino."
"Aw, that's so sweet–"
Maybe Arashi had a chance with Sakura after all, as long as he didn't call her a rhino.
And though there weren't any walls nearby to punch Uchiha Sasuke through, there was a forest nearby.
Lots and lots of trees she could smash his pretty head through again and again.
Yeah, it got kinda messy toward the end… sorry, I'm really rusty ;;;
But… I was busy… yes, with WOTN. I'm sorry… but I'm also working on WOTN fanfictions too…
I should prepare to get killed by you guys, eh?
Well, if you happen to join the forums, you know who to look for (death-chan)
I've already gotten positive feedback from other FFN people; it's really that fun. Though… when you look as an outsider, it doesn't look like much. If you join, many more things will be open to you.
Hope to see you in the forums (www[dotwayoftheninja[dotorg)!