48TaDa! Here it is chapter 10 in all it's glory.
A warning to all of my faithful readers. It's going to be a bumpy ride from here on in. I know that this chapter is heavy on the angst and I'm pretty sure the next few will be similar.
A special thanks to Jess and Emma for all their help with this chapter. And as always thanks to my readers and reviewers for pushing me to keep the chapters coming.
Side note - the title of this chapter actually came from a friend at work as we were discussing funny ironies and the act of falling up stairs came up. I felt it was a fitting title with the ironies of the heart and how the arguments between the heart and the mind cause so much discord. So thanks to my colleagues for the help with that!
The weapons listed toward the end of the chapter in italics are all martial arts fighting weapons. You can look up the pictures and notes on use on wikipedia if you would like more information on them.
Review notes are at the end, and let me check for a second... Nope still don't own any of it!
Chapter 10 - Falling Up Stairs
As he sat with Keith going over the remainder of the files Jesse couldn't help but wonder what was happening between Shalimar and Brennan. He feared that Brennan might do something irrational but cut that thought off. Brennan had been closer to Shalimar since they made up in the alleyway, but by no means did he think they would be pawing each other.
A glance to his right showed Keith intent on the information splayed on the computer screen. The guy was great, for lack of a better term. Jesse had always imagined Shalimar with an adventurous guy who was probably a mutant, maybe even another feral. He had never imagined her falling for someone like Keith.
The thing was though, that the more he got to know him, the more he realized that Keith did care about Shalimar and was a genuinely good guy. It was tough to find people like him in the world and after spending a few hours with him it was tough not to respect and like the guy. He still found it difficult to imagine Shalimar settling down like she was. In the back of his mind he wanted to believe that it was a part that she was playing, an act, for reasons of her own.
After Shalimar and Brennan departed Jesse and Keith were able to hack into some plans for the old hospital/burn center and get an idea of what the layout might be like. It wasn't long before Jesse realized he was far too tired to be brainstorming any ideas, and the thoughts of Lexa tucked warmly on the futon in the other room did nothing to stifle his urges to retire to bed.
Keith looked at him and Jesse could see some of the exhaustion creeping into the older man's features as well.
"What do you say we call it a night?" Keith asked with a mild grin. "It's almost eleven and I can't tell you the last time I got a good night's sleep. I'm sure you guys are in need of a good rest too."
Jesse felt himself nod in concurrence as he gazed through the doorway and across the hall to the work out room where Lexa slept.
Keith let out a light laugh and patted him on the shoulder. "I'm sure she won't mind the company too much."
Jesse felt himself grin in return. "I hope not." He looked to the apartment door before looking back at Keith. "Do you want me to make sure they haven't killed each other?"
The other man shook his head. "Nah, I know that sometimes Shalimar takes a while to calm down. Hopefully Brennan won't be too beat up when he comes back. But…" His voice trailed off.
Jesse knew what he was thinking, but didn't know what to say. He wanted to know what was between the two. How could he answer that if he didn't know himself? Thoughts of past fights held between the feral and elemental flashed through Jesse's mind. He knew that the two were passionate, but what could he say to dispel any of this man's questions? Especially when he had his own doubts about what was happening.
In the end he decided to focus on something rather trivial. "Usually Bren can hold his own pretty well with her. Not to say that he won't come back a little bruised." A slightly forced grin stretched across his features. "Good night, Keith. And thank you for everything." The last part was added with genuine feeling.
Keith returned the gesture. "You guys have done a lot of good. This is the least I can do."
As Jesse crossed the living room to head to the bathroom then hopefully to bed, the front door opened and admitted a slightly ruffled looking Brennan and Shalimar. He hoped that his facial features didn't let on to his thoughts of how they possibly got that way. One look from Brennan told him he failed in that endeavor. The look that the dark elemental gave Jesse just screamed 'leave it alone'.
That was before he noticed the blood caked on Shalimar's hand. "Shit, Shal! Are you alright?" His feet carried him to her side as he attempted to grab at her hand.
She smiled demurely and let him inspect it for a few moments. He was surprised when her other hand came up to rest on his arm. "I'll be fine Jess. It looks way worse than it is. I'll clean it up in a few minutes. You look exhausted, get some sleep."
Nodding to the two new occupants he went to the bathroom and cleaned up. The reflection in the mirror proved that he indeed looked worn and could use a decent hair cut. Those ideas were set aside in thoughts of a warm mattress and a certain warm body residing there.
When he exited Shalimar was setting up the sofa bed for Brennan and stopped in her motions to give Jesse a firm hug and another kiss on the cheek. He barely caught her whispered words exclaiming her happiness that he was here and safe.
He knew that the conversation they had to have would be put on hold. He understood that. Everyone was too tired and spent from the past few weeks. He could only hope that someone could come up with a clear answer once their minds were rested.
Nodding to the other men he walked to the room and barely refrained from falling onto the mattress. Once there, he let the warmth and comfort surround him. Lexa rolled her back against him and he wrapped his arms tightly around her, afraid that sleep wouldn't come. Moments later the depths of darkness blanketed him in its comfortable embrace as he drifted into slumber.
As soon as Jesse went to the bathroom Shalimar went about making the sofa bed for Brennan despite both his and Keith's protests. She waved them off and unfolded the couch and began to make it with the spare linens when Jesse walked out. Pausing in her motions she walked over and gave him one final kiss and hug quietly stating her happiness at their presence.
Jesse had an idea of what happened between her and Brennan. She knew it and also caught the look that Brennan shot Jesse as they came back to the apartment. Luckily her hand being slightly mangled had drawn Keith's notions away from anything else aside from sparring occurring between her and Brennan. She gave him the truth that she had lost her temper and hit the brick wall, which sadly won, but it only slightly pacified the worried man.
Finished with the sofa bed, she quickly ducked into the bathroom to clean her cuts. Keith would bandage them. He had become very adept at caring for her various wounds; however he hated to clean them because of the pain that it usually inflicted. So in lieu of that, she cleaned them and he dressed them.
The cuts were clean and she had finished with everything else. Staring in the mirror she looked at her reflection as if it would hold answers to her questions. Her genuine care for Keith kicked her guilty conscience into overdrive. Confusion swam beneath the surface. As attracted as she was to him, it had been overridden in the heat of the moment with Brennan. She wasn't sure if it was latent feelings for the elemental or an association of fear that caused her reckless disregard.
No. There was too much feeling on her end for it to be just fear and seeking comfort. The fear might have spurned it, but the feelings themselves were honest.
Neither she nor Keith had ever proclaimed their love for one another. It seemed that they did care for each other, but it was a gradually building love. They had been together for several months and she had built a normal life. A life she had yearned for, for so long. A normal lover, a normal job, a normal place with normal rent, and yet she felt unfulfilled.
Brennan had always sent a passionate and wanton thrill through her. It had always been a game of push and pull between her and him. At first it had been lighthearted, but then something else started to change and a deeper connection developed without their knowledge or permission. Where the lustiness of their flirting once was, something deeper and more profound began to underlie it and take root in her feelings and emotions.
There were other times when she thought Brennan wasn't as enthralled with her as others. That was until Samantha. What had sealed it for her was the encounter with the time-traveling new-mutant Samantha who Brennan fell for. He moped for a little while, but was back into the swing of things shortly after, but not entirely. Between the conspiracy theorist and the whole art gallery debacle, she wasn't sure where she stood with him any longer.
It had been one of her decision points for leaving, as much as she hated to admit it. Her heart needed something that it could rely on for a while. Keith was reliable. Brennan… Well she wasn't so sure. The passion in his touches and caresses on the rooftop sent her body aflame, only adding to the debacle present in her mind.
Shaking her head she washed her face again to clear the tears that had welled up from her turmoil. It was too late now. She was going to die if they didn't find Adam. A part of her hoped that she wouldn't, but her mind was prepared to handle the worst. If she made it through she could deal with everything else later. For now she had to be strong.
When she exited the bathroom she saw Brennan seated on the sofa bed waiting for her to come out. Keith had already gone into their bedroom. One look at Brennan's eyes showed his apology and caring, but she couldn't cave to whims. With a quick word of goodnight she all but ran to her bedroom.
There another hurtle awaited her. Keith had the medical kit opened and a few bandages laid out for her. She really wanted to scream in frustration as she had run away from the lion and into a lion's den. Just when did someone decide that she had to endure all of this stress? She just wanted to kick whatever ass decided that she would be good for a joke.
Sucking in a deep breath she looked to him and wordlessly sat next to him while he tended to her wounds. When he was done he put the kit away and pulled her into a tight hug.
"We'll look and find a way, Shalimar." His sentiments echoed those that Brennan had spoken to her not so long before.
Tears again leapt unbidden to her eyes as she allowed herself to seek comfort in his embrace. He stripped her from her clothes with soft and comforting kisses to her shoulders and back before laying her under the covers where he gathered her back to his chest. The energy she felt earlier had long since dissipated, and she was left with the feeling of her body being content but her heart lying in the next room.
The soft sounds of rustling in the next room kept Brennan awake. Staring at the now closed door made the turmoil inside that much worse. Even with the constant reminders in the back of his head that she wasn't his, he'd acted on his desires.
The kiss was everything perfect. That's what made it so bad. If it hadn't felt right or there were no emotions behind it he would've been able to go on without any problems and still care for Shalimar like a sister. But the second her lips touched his… A part of his soul that he didn't even know he was missing filled with a warm and delicious feeling. He could only believe that Shalimar felt the same by the way she clung to him and returned his attention with equal ardor.
This only made things even harder. Now he felt like he found a missing part of his being, and if he didn't find Adam, there was a chance that he would never have the opportunity to win her back.
Sleep wouldn't come to him. With no idea how long he lay there, he decided to get up and look over the plans that he was sure Jesse had obtained.
Getting up and walking into the office he immediately found the plans lying by the computer. The hospital had multiple entrances and exits as most places like that did. He saw some interesting designs and construction permits for such a place though. There was a lab created in the center of the first floor. It looked to encompass approximately a third of the building's structure, which took up approximately a third of a city block. The rest of the block seemed to be set aside for parking and an abandoned office building.
The lab looked promising to him. The three floors above it showed little change or modification from the original design almost fifty years ago. The parking lot would make for difficult access, but he was sure they could find a way about that. Searching through the pile of papers he realized that Jesse had already thought in the same direction. Both the basement schematics and the plans for the city sewer system were revealed as he perused the material. The sewer wasn't their first route of travel, but without the Helix or any other means of un-obvious transportation they might not have much choice.
A yawn overtook him and he glanced at the clock. It was almost four and he needed to try for a few hours of sleep. It was odd to him, that the first time he had a warm and comfortable place to sleep in weeks and he couldn't drift off immediately. One last look toward the imposing bedroom door as he walked into the living room caused him to shake his head. He laid down on the sofa bed and closed his eyes. His mind relaxed and he was swarmed with visions of past memories with the beautiful blond feral. He fell into a deep slumber moments before the bedroom door cracked open and the person of his thoughts walked out.
Her sleep was sparse and what little she did get was wrought with horrifying images. Finally she saw the sky lighten and decided to give up on any attempt to sleep. It had just made her more tired and gave her no reprieve of rest. Sliding out of bed she slipped into her track pants and a sweatshirt before she snuck out of the bedroom and grabbed a bottle of water before heading for the front door.
On her way to the door her eyes caught the body of the elemental sleeping on the couch. He was on his stomach and the way the blankets were rumpled over his form showed her that his sleep must have been as fitful as her own. He was sleeping now, she discerned as she listened to the slow, even tempo of his breathing. It was almost a shame he wasn't awake she thought ruefully. It had been a long while since she had a sparring partner that worked with her as well as he had.
A grimace crossed her face as her mind chided her that he was good for so much more. Mentally slamming the door on those thoughts she grabbed her keys and crept out of the apartment so she didn't wake anyone.
She ran up and down the nine flights of stairs twice before going up to the roof. Up there she watched as the blues had lightened to soft pinks, oranges, and violet of the morning as if announcing the presence of the sunrise long before it came.
She practiced T'ai Chi as the colors became more pastel and faded into a golden color shortly before the sun rose. Her body was fairly relaxed and she lost any desire to work herself any more. Taking a seat on one of the walls corners she watched the skyline back lit with the coming sunrise.
Not long after the sun rose she heard the door shut and smelled a heavenly cup of coffee. It was then she realized that Keith had decided to approach her. He had held her silently through her breakdown last night; she supposed that he was confused and worried too. For everything that had happened in the past few months, he had almost always stood by her and been a steady comfort for her to draw from.
Footsteps arrived behind her and she inhaled the rich aroma of the dark brew he held in his hands. Spinning around on the ledge she thanked him with a kiss before retrieving one of the two mugs he held in his hands. A pang of guilt hit her as she admitted to herself that she was hoping Brennan found her, but her conscious admitted that she needed to talk to Keith.
"Are you feeling better than last night?" He asked softly.
Taking a sip of coffee she nodded. "A little thanks."
"It's only coffee." He joked. She could see that the smile didn't reach his eyes. He was torturing himself about what might happen.
Letting out a deep breath she didn't know she had been holding she looked to him and spoke. "I mean for everything. I've enjoyed the past few months with you-"
"Don't talk like that!" His hissed voice cut her off. "It's not over until we all give up and let go, and from where I'm standing no one but you has given up."
The tear that slipped from her cheek hit her hand holding the coffee mug. Her eyes followed the trail as it slipped from the skin on the back of her hand to the ground. She cursed her emotions for letting her cry once again. His hand came up to cup under her chin bringing her eyes to reluctantly meet his.
"Shalimar, don't pull away from us. We will find Adam and find a way to save you, Lexa and Brennan." The vehemence in his tone brokered no argument.
"Thank you for believing in me." She whispered before turning her face so that she could kiss the palm that rested by her cheek.
"I just wish I could say the words that we haven't been able to say to each other." He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "I just don't want to lie to you. I care about you deeply, as I know you do me." He paused to take a breath. "But maybe that shouldn't be something you settle for."
He stopped her protest with three gentle fingers over her lips.
"I think if I had met you in another time or another life I would have fell so deeply in love with you I couldn't see out. As it is… My heart and soul might never be repaired and I don't know if I'm being selfish in hanging onto what we have."
She spoke past the fingers on her lips. "Keith, I'm happy, and I made my decision to leave the team to be with you. Shouldn't that have some bearing on what happens to me? Or did you decide that we aren't working?"
His eyes welled but tears didn't spill. "I used to think you were happy, but then I saw you last night with the team. You were almost beaming to have them in your life again. I think you've missed them more than you can admit to yourself."
What could she say to that? The words he spoke rang with the absolute truth.
"I'll stand by you until the end, Shalimar, but I think you need to reconsider what you want to do with your life. Some people are cut out to live more than just a normal life. Besides, I think that there is someone who might be able to love you better than me."
Lips met in a soft kiss and she tried to pour her apology through that medium instead of words. How had he known where her heart and soul lie? Sometimes he managed to surprise her so much, and it was those times she regretted most that she wasn't able to love him.
The smell of fresh coffee woke her from a deep sleep. Taking a moment to breathe in that aroma mixed with the masculine scent encompassing her, Lexa fought the pull that wakefulness was torturing her body with. Eyes shut tightly as if in denial of the soft light peeking through the curtains. The body behind her tightened its grasp around her waist before it rolled over to avoid the direction of the sun seeping into the room.
Muttering a low curse, hazel-green eyes opened and scowled in the direction of the window cursing the morning that had arrived all too swiftly. Pulling her feet from the blankets she fought off the shiver of the morning as she donned the pink and gray sweat pants Shalimar lent her and grabbed the zip-front matching jacket to keep warm.
Walking into the living room she found Brennan in a rumpled disarray of blankets. Mostly they had been kicked to his waist and the tattoo covering his back shoulder stood starkly against the paler skin. A pang of sympathy struck her at the goose bumps dotting his back and arms and she pulled the covers up to his shoulders. She felt a sisterly concern for him and this situation. In ways they were more alike then they cared to admit, but she had grown to admire him. His confusion with Shalimar was going to be a tough undertaking and she only hoped that his heart didn't get destroyed in the process.
"There's coffee in the kitchen if you would like a cup." Keith said breaking into her thoughts.
It had been a dilemma of the utmost proportions to accept that she was now residing with someone that she had been ordered to terminate months ago. Of course that was before the world went and flipped itself around even more than it had been.
"I know you probably don't like me, but can we call a truce?" He spoke softly and she had a feeling it had nothing to do with waking the other occupants of the house.
Nodding, she acquiesced. It wasn't his fault that the Dominion had set him up to be a scapegoat; and if she was honest with herself, Shalimar's words yesterday had been true. She was just sore about losing a battle.
"I'm gonna go talk to Shal." He said motioning to the second cup of coffee in his hands and then to the apartments exit.
"I think she'll appreciate that a lot." It didn't take much to see that the man wasn't bad by any standard. He had gone out of his way to help them with very little insistence from Shalimar.
She motioned to the back room and then to Brennan's sleeping form. "Think you can teach these guys to bring coffee to a girl in bed? They might be worth their keep then." She attempted to make good on the truce.
He let out a small chuckle. "I'll see what I can do." He exited the door and left her alone in the room with her thoughts.
The smell of fresh coffee from an actual coffeemaker drew her like a moth to a flame. It felt like a guilty pleasure to have real brewed coffee. That was when she noticed the bean grinder on the counter by the coffee maker and inhaled a deeper breath. Grabbing a cup from the cabinet she filled it then added the necessary cream and sugar before taking a large drink and sighing in pleasure.
Arms wrapped around her waist, almost startling her, and lips planted themselves in the juncture between her neck and shoulders kissing their way up to her face. Her mind kicked in and she placed the cup on the counter so not to spill it before he tightened his embrace.
"So to make you happy all I have to do is have fresh coffee for you every morning?" Jesse's voice chuckled into her skin.
She wanted to scowl but between the ambrosial taste in her mouth and the warm body holding her with tenderness, her only reply was a good-natured 'whatever' before he spun her to face him and his lips met hers in a sweet kiss. His warmth wrapped around her and she melted into his arms as he pulled her close for a tight embrace.
It took entirely too long for her to realize that he had stolen her coffee cup over her shoulder now that her back was to the counter and he was pulling it to his lips to take a long swallow.
"That's not yours, you know!" The words were followed by a scowl.
It didn't have the desired effect as his features lit up and he took another long pull before passing the mug back to her. By this time it was half-gone.
"There's plenty more in the pot and besides," he quirked his lips, "you need to learn how to share!"
"Get. Your. Own." She growled out and refilled the brew.
He only laughed and grabbed another cup before kissing her again. It was instinct to go with the soft pressure of his lips, but she cursed herself all the same for giving in.
Pointing toward the bedroom door he asked, "Keith and Shal still asleep?"
"No, he was actually heading out to find her and talk to her this morning when I woke up." Drawing another long drink from her cup she felt the fresh brew begin to work its magic as her head became more focused.
"He's not a bad guy, you know." Jesse stated.
Grudgingly she had to agree. "I'm still not sure what will happen from here."
"Lexa, there's something important you need to see." His tone took on a sudden grave seriousness and all traces of the earlier relaxed and carefree manner disappeared as if never there.
Without prelude he led her to the office and pulled up the papers and data they had been studying last night. A page was thrust in her hands. She looked up to see what Jesse meant, but his cerulean eyes were focused out the window. Glancing down at the page, it took a moment for her to realize what it was.
"The expiration dates." Her voice sounded like she had run a few miles. "Mine, Brennan's and…"
"Shalimar's," Jesse finished for her with a grim look. "We have to find Adam. None of you have much time, but Shal-"
"Has less than two weeks." The words almost caught in her throat. She cleared it before continuing. "Did you find anything else last night?"
Some more papers were pulled out of the pile and he motioned her to the desk and the chair, pulling the other one to sit by her.
"We located the place that has the highest probability of holding Adam. The problem is that we are hurting for resources and I can't find anything else out until we go in and look around." The tone was resigned but firm.
"Let's get plans done to get in there as soon as possible." She said.
Shalimar had caused problems, yes, but in the end she was still one of them. To find her and lose her again would just be more than the team could handle.
"I vote we strike tomorrow." Brennan's voice rumbled from the doorway. She looked up to see him dressed in a tee and sweats. He was leaning casually in the doorframe. The darkened circles under his eyes were still there, but his face was lined with grim determination.
"I think we might be able to manage that." Jesse said looking between the two.
"I'm going to go get a shower and get changed." She said and stood up.
"You just got one last night." Both men echoed sentiments.
"A girl has to take advantages of hot running water when she can!" A smirk crossed her face as she ran to the workout room to grab a change of clothes and get showered.
She waited until she was under the spray of the hot water to let her emotions loose. She knew that they all had expiration dates, but to see them in bold print was still an eye-opening experience. The tears leaked from her eyes and she silently cursed. It felt like a clock had been set on her life. In a way it had.
There was no choice. They had to find Adam fast. Shalimar was running out of time. Not to mention that both she and Brennan needed to find out what corrections were needed for themselves. Somehow knowing your date of death seemed too ominous. No longer were their lives in the hands of fate, but the scientists that concocted their demise.
Finished with her tears and fairly certain that she had regained a hold on her emotions she shut the shower off and took a set of clothes that Shalimar left for her. The tan top and denim jeans were a very typical style that the feral leaned toward. Something that was fashionable but comfortable to move in if the need arose.
After getting dressed she walked back into the living room to find the guys seated at the table with cups of coffee and what looked like toaster tarts of some sort. They were both engrossed in the plans of the building and surrounding area. As she got closer to the table she noticed a map of the sewer and water system set out in front of them.
Brennan allowed himself to become immersed in the plans and preparation of getting into the hospital. It was the only reason that he hadn't gone crazy wondering what else to do. The fact that they were living on a clock hadn't escaped his attention. The shower had stopped running and Lexa took a long time getting out. He couldn't help but wonder if she was also taking the news poorly.
When she finished her shower Lexa joined them and they continued deciding on proper approaches that they could take. It felt similar to old times when they would plan and execute missions without much problem. This time was a little harder because of the people they were up against, but that just meant the planning had to be more precise.
Brennan sighed and ran a hand through his overlong hair and tried to concentrate on the schematics on the table in front of his face as opposed to thinking about what was going on up on the roof with the feral and her boyfriend. He didn't want to be jealous of Keith, but that didn't stop it from happening.
The intensity of their intimate meeting last night had done nothing to ease the strain in his mind. In fact he felt like every time he was able to concentrate on something else for a moment it would force itself to the front of his mind and cause a white-hot surge of hunger and want in his veins.
When the object of his thoughts finally walked into the apartment he couldn't help but look for traces that something had happened between her and Keith. It was irrational, and he knew it, but he couldn't help but feel a tug of happiness as she approached the table with a warm grin and soft sway to her hips.
"How far did you guys get?" Keith asked as he looked over Shalimar's shoulder to the plans lying on the table.
He had barely noticed the other man and realized that he needed to focus harder on the task at hand before he could worry about anything else. It wasn't fair to everyone involved if he and the others didn't give their all in this effort.
Jesse cut him off from any further thoughts. "I think that we came up with a passable plan. It's still rough, but we can hammer it out today, get the supplies and be able to put it into action tomorrow."
"Really?" Shalimar said and excitement seemed to lace her tone.
Lexa faintly smiled as she answered. "Yeah, the three of us have been going over the plans and it looks like if we access through this tunnel here," she pointed to a tunnel running under the building. "We can move into the basement of the building. We don't see any alarms set up or monitoring companies online, but that's not to say they're won't be guards to contend with."
"Do we need any outside assistance?" Keith asked as he looked at the map Jesse was highlighting the lines of.
"I'm not sure. Jess and I were wondered if we had a few distractions in the parking lot that it might draw attention." Brennan was able to interject.
"Do you think that would work?" Shalimar's chocolate eyes met his with focus and a hint of thrill. Her voice held a hit of excitement. "I mean, I was just wondering if that might be more of a tip off."
Her motivation on the mission helped him to steady his thoughts. It seemed to have a calming effect on his thoughts. With that look he was able to escape from the torment of his wandering thoughts and find the determination to continue with the planning and execution of the objective.
They continued to talk for a few hours before taking a break. Jesse and Keith started talking and went into the office to work on some computer structured program that Keith had been considering for an application. All in all, Brennan was impressed that he had understood that much of their conversation. Lexa had grabbed the laptop and with Shalimar's permission began shopping for some new clothes online for the three of them. She had drilled both Jesse and Brennan on sizes and styles for several minutes before immersing herself into the world of cyber-shopping.
"Do you want to go for a walk and help me pick up some of the equipment?" Shalimar asked.
"Is it safe for me to be seen in public?" He quirked an eyebrow in her direction, and a smile stretched across his lips to show that he had only been joking.
She only laughed before telling everyone that they were going to go pick up supplies and they would be back soon. Throwing him a baseball cap to help cover his features he followed her out the door.
The elevator felt smaller on the way down with only the two of them then it had with the four of them on the way up yesterday. The stifling silence only wore on until they arrived at the sixth floor.
"Bren, we need to talk about last night." Shalimar finally cut through the silence.
He sighed, it had been coming and he knew it. He just wasn't sure what to say. Nodding in acquiescence to her words he opted to let her continue with her thoughts before he made an ass of himself.
"I'm sorry that I let my emotions get to me like that last night." Her voice was soft and she was focused on the numbers of the elevator as they blinked the floors of their decent. "It wasn't right for me to do that to you. I was feeling volatile and scared. I feel like I took advantage of you. It's not something that I would have asked of anyone else and I'm sorry, I hope you can forgive me."
Blinking in confusion, he was finally able to conclude that she was blaming herself for what happened. He specifically remembered wanting to be that close to her and almost begging her for the embrace. The first time he had been able to pull away from her but the second time he lost control of himself and took possession of her mouth and soul without caring about the consequences. He felt like he was reeling from this discovery.
The world was righted by the soft ding of the elevator and he looked down to see Shalimar frowning before she spoke. "I don't know what else to say, but I wanted to let you know that I wasn't trying to hurt you." She immediately darted out the doors.
A split-second later he was out the door after her and caught her at the front door to the building. His voice was still lost but as he reached her in the foyer he grabbed her and pulled her into a tight embrace.
"I didn't do anything that I didn't want to." He murmured into the top of her head as he pulled her tight to his body.
"Do you forgive me?" Her voice was a little broken and she had unshed tears lacing her beautiful russet eyes.
Trying not to laugh and peak her ire he settled on a gentle smile. "I can't because there is nothing to forgive."
Again she was buried in his chest and he could capture a few words of missing him and glad that they were together again. Two other residents walked past them as they stood in the foyer. Their quizzical glances were silenced immediately by his glare and protective embrace around the emotional feral.
Once she had pulled herself together a smile adorned her face and she pulled him into a part of the city that he wasn't too familiar with. It was very Asian based and the writings on the overhead banner pronounced it to be a market section of Chinatown.
"So how come we're in this section?" He asked as they walked casually around the market.
"Well, as a team we've never spent a lot of time in this area, and it's really close to the apartment so I usually make a trip down here once a week or so. It's really neat and I wanted to show you where I worked." She grabbed his hand and pulled him across the street.
"I thought we were picking up supplies?" He asked as they got closer to a small dojo on the corner.
"We are." Shalimar chirped as she pulled open the door for him. "I can get a lot of them here."
"Oh, well in that case," he grinned as he swept his arm out for her to enter first.
Shalimar walked in and spoke a few words to the owner and head instructor. He was introduced as a friend from school and had been trained in the arts as well. The instructor was very happy to meet him and pointed him and Shalimar to the spare storage for her to take whatever she needed for their 'sparring practices'. He had to admit that it was an excellent excuse to borrow equipment, and he had been invited back to the dojo for the upcoming tournament that they were having.
They grabbed the equipment and headed out with words of thanks and good days. Then Shalimar pulled him into the local hardware store to finish buying the few supplies that were left on the list. Mostly it was small stuff and all of the equipment had been easy enough for him to carry.
"I want to stop by the market on the way home and pick up some stuff for dinner tonight too." Shalimar said as she readjusted the bag in her arms.
Brennan was toting a medium sized backpack with a few toys that Shalimar had become proficient working with while at the dojo and some ropes. Seeing her trying to keep hold of the awkward package he decided to make an offer. "Here let me put the rest of this in the backpack because it should fit without a problem."
"Are you sure? I don't want you to have to carry it all." Shalimar said as she pulled to the side of the sidewalk to allow the other travelers passage.
"Just give me the stuff." He huffed and pulled the things out of the oversized paper bag and put it into the backpack. "If you listened to me when I told you in the store, you wouldn't have that huge bag to tote around because they didn't have a smaller one." He grinned as he stood back up with the pack over his shoulder to look smartly at her.
"Don't even try to tell me that you are going to lecture me on not listening." Shalimar retorted. "I know bugs with a longer attention span then you!" She was unable to get her words out without a smile.
He wanted to kiss her, but refrained and tossed her the paper bag. "Here you have something to put your food in!" His tone was light, but he still had a heavy heart.
The shopping in the market was fun. It was reminiscent of two teenagers shopping. They ran from booth to booth and were looked at oddly by more than a few people, but it didn't seem to matter because neither of them could stop.
For a while all the drama in their lives stopped. They were able to just be and enjoy it.
They arrived back at the apartment in the middle of the early afternoon. There was a note on the table that Keith had been called into the one lab to help with a problem in an issue they were having with a sequencing, and also a note saying that Jesse and Lexa were having a nap in the other room.
Looking into Shalimar's eyes he could see that she was also thinking about disturbing them, but in the end some courtesy was extended and she took a few of the weapons out of the bag and flashed him a grin.
"Wanna spar?" She asked mischievously.
"Oh yeah."
Forty-five minutes later Shalimar found herself sweating and panting, but enjoying every moment of it. Her one side hurt where Brennan had connected with the Shillelagh. Her defenses had been fairly sound otherwise. She had been using training weapons, a pair of wooden Sai and a Tonfa. Those had been her favorite sparring weapons of choice over the past few months. Brennan had made several well planned attacks with both the quarterstaff and the shillelagh. Both had pulled their strengths back with the weapons, but still fought with vigor.
Finally she had her shot to pull Brennan's staff from his hands and as she placed her aim with the Sai, she saw his attack at the last minute as her feet were swept from under her and she landed on her back. Brennan collapsed to his knees pinning her arms to the ground just below her shoulders.
"Give up?" He questioned with an almost feral look to his expression.
"Never," she cried as she struggled to pull her legs up behind him but he just leaned closer to her while shifting more of his weight down on her.
In her struggling she didn't realize how close he had become until she felt the bead of sweat land on her forehead. Opening her eyes she found his face only a scant few inches from her own. Her struggles ceased and she was drawn into his deep mocha gaze. Her tongue wet her lips unconsciously and in an instant their game had shifted from playful to impassioned.
Guilt crossed his face as his eyes closed and he shook his head before standing and moving away from her with a whispered apology.
It took her a moment to regain her balance and by the time she did he was drinking a bottle of water on the other side of the roof. She saw the strained expression in his face. It dawned on her that maybe there was more to them than she ever gave credence. She knew that he wanted to kiss her, both times in fact. But the remorse that blanketed him a moment before he pulled away was undeniable. The longing hadn't been replaced but it was like he had been reminded of something.
Her body and mind were on fire, heart racing erratically, and her soul calling out for him. It was so much more then just the lust she had tried to pass it off as in the past. A connection deeper then she had ever known was built with the tall, dark haired man.
Love… The word swam in her head and caused her to focus on him and everything about him. Infatuation was present, but she realized that it wasn't the only feeling. This was a soul-deep and encompassing emotion that she was positive she had never felt for anyone before.
Those feelings spurned her to move forward and possibly make the boldest decision of her life.
He had to get away before there was a repeat of last night. His heart couldn't take the flooding of emotions that the kiss would bring followed by the distance and guilt of the actions. Walking across the roof he grabbed his bottle of water and took several deep pulls from it.
The sparring had been great. He hadn't worked himself this well in months. Mostly since Shalimar had left. Proximity hadn't been a problem at first but the tension had unconsciously built in his blood as they came closer to taking each other down. Thought hadn't occurred when he pinned her to the ground. The playful banter was just fitting.
Spending the day with her had been wonderful and he refused to do anything that would destroy the bond they were rebuilding.
"What was that?" Soft fingertips on his shoulder accompanied her soft words.
He spat out the water that he had been gulping in effort to refocus. Forgetting that Shalimar was a feral and therefore a predator by nature was dangerous business. Moving with silent grace was natural for her and if she wanted to approach someone quietly it was almost impossible to catch her. And that was if one was paying attention.
Turning his face away from her he felt the words come. "It was nothing, Shal." A blatant lie, but maybe she would buy it and leave his piece of mind.
"I just need to know if you feel the same about me that I do for you." Her voice was a mere whisper on the wind.
He never remembered her being so brazen, but then she had never been given a time limit for her to confront her emotions.
A deep breath was followed by another. "I don't know Shal. Did you miss me deep in your soul too?" No holds were going to be barred. He might not have time to tell her later and as much as he admonished himself for those thoughts, they still came unbidden as if the gravity of the situation needed to be reinforced. Turning, he faced her with a final question. "Would you stay for only one reason if there were a million others that say you should leave?"
Her breath caught then faltered for a moment as she met his eyes. They were almost emotionless as he stared into them. It scared him as she prolonged her answer with more silence.
Not being able to take it he began to turn away.
The sudden strength she possessed was quickly reminded to him as she pulled him back around and looked at him squarely with heavy emotion clouding her expression.
"Give me that one reason, Bren." Her voice held none of the turmoil of her expression.
Some part in the back of his brain stopped him from kissing her. The rest of him was fighting against the restraining part, but he had to know one more thing. "I can't be pushed aside if this happens. Are you looking for something or are you looking for me?"
No words were spoken as she pulled him down to her lips. They crashed together with heartfelt emotions and painful longing. "You, just you," She answered as she pulled away then returned her mouth to his embrace. And he could both see and feel the truth behind her words and actions.
A tear fell from his eye as he realized how scared he had been that she would have rejected him. Emotions surged as he felt her body melt into his and their mouths connected almost desperately. Last night had been intense but restrained. No holds were placed on this. It was like offering a man in the desert for weeks a fountain of water. There was no sating the thirst for her.
He pulled her closer and up to meet him as she ran her hands under his shirt. The flesh of his back reacted to her hot touch and he returned the touches. The moans she let out were almost sinful as he took his time exploring her face and neck with his lips.
She returned the favor by placing tender kisses and soft nips along his jaw and neck. He could feel her need almost pouring out of her. It was so intense that he wasn't able to stop the moan that bubbled out of his throat. Teeth seized the side of his neck and he could feel the gentle suction of her actions. When she let go she laved the area with her tongue.
The meeting was a little too frantic and quick. The back of his mind was telling him to stop, but he couldn't figure out why.
He was so desperate to taste her and to feel her body against his. Sensations he didn't know existed coursed through his body. Their lips met again and he was taken aback by the tears he tasted on her lips and skin. Wanting to engulf all of her and keep her with him always seemed to be the only intent he felt.
A door slamming caught his attention first. The shuffling steps on the roof were the second indicator and he pulled away from Shalimar. She looked as despondent about the end of the kiss as he felt.
Looking to the corner by the doorway he knew that there was no way to cover what they were doing. Both of their clothes looked disheveled and he knew that the rest of him was rumpled.
Dirty blond hair and blue eyes turned the corner to look at the two who were still locked in an embrace. Jesse frowned at him and looked sadly to Shalimar.
"I didn't mean to disturb you but I have some bad news." Jesse said with all seriousness.
Rachel - Luv ya girl, and thanks so much for the review. Thanks for kicking me in the butt and making sure I keep writing! I'm really glad that I was able to make the reunion fitting. I went through several ideas before I settled on that one, and I'm glad that it worked out. Oh, the girls said hi back! LOL!
Emma - Thank you again for all of your help. I'm glad that you liked the reunion and I didn't let it get out of character too bad. Looking forward to seeing your next posts too! Have a great holiday!
shonnia - Really appreciate the review. I'm glad that I was able to keep the reactions sounding proper. It was a struggle, but fortunately it seems to have worked out. Hope that you enjoy this chapter too!
Hysink- Really appreciate all the help with my flubs. Hope the corrections look okay. I'm glad that you've liked the chapters so far. Hoping the ones to come are as good!
Karen147145 - Thank you for your kind words and I've finally gotten back to work! LOL. I'm glad that you like the way that I've built the story and I'm not promising anything, but as you can see this chapter is starting to fade Keith out! :)
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