I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO WRITE ABOUT!
so this is me being bored
and a kick start for a new nobody in here. OC OF COURSE! mep, hope you like her.
Disclaimer: I'm unhappy to anounce that Kingdom Hearts still doesn't belong to me, Jesse McCartney is his own(I think, I'm not sure) and Haylinn belongs to KeyBladeGirlXIV, however the plot is mine!MUHAHAHA!
Another lazy day in the non-existent lives of our most loved fiction characters. Demyx was playing DDR, Luxord had challenged Vexen to a duel of Go Fish, Xigbar was lazily hanging from the ceiling, Zexion was reading a book and Axel had spread himself on the couch he pronounced as his own.
"It's sooooo boring..."
"Gee, I did not notice."
"Axel, go annoy Larxene again. It was fun to watch you getting your ass kicked by a chick."
"Never! Got it memorized?"
Speaking of the devil, Larxene crashed through the door, causing Axel to jump and hide behind the couch, next to Zexion. She had smashed the door open with such force, Xigbar fell from the ceiling. Larxene was dripping of water and wore nothing but a towel. She panted and talked towards Demyx who looked at her curios.
"My... water... broke."
"Demyx, I-" Larxene started but was interrupted by the rest that were in the room.
"OH DEAR LORD!"
"HOW THE HELL?!"
"Well, that's easy, Vexen. When a woman and a man-"
"I KNOW THAT! I MEANT HOW THE HELL DEMYX AND LARXENE!"
"That's why she wanted diapers."
"DEMYX, I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"
"What? Am I not aloud to kill someone? It's not illegal, right?"
"Yeah, but, for what reason, Axel?"
"Impregnatin' Larxene? Non-Existin'? Being blond?"
"Yeah but why impregnating Larxene?"
"Cause now we're gonna have a beepin' cryin', shittin', eatin' and shittin' sack of diapers in the castle!"
Zexion nodded agreeing.
"True. DEMYX YOU IDIOT! HOW COULD YOU?!"
"YOU BEEPING MORONS! SHUT THE HELL UP! I'M NOT PREGNANT AND NEVER WAS! ESPECIALLY NOT WITH DEMYX!"
"But didn't you just say-"
"I MEANT THE WATER PIPES IN MY BATHROOM! AND I NEED DEMYX TO FIX IT!"
"That explains why you're wet and in a towel."
Axel sat back on the couch, slowly relaxing. Zexion joined him and Xigbar went back on hanging from the wall. Larxene took Demyx by his hood and dragged him to her room.
"Well, I'm bored again."
"Oh, really? Cause I haven't noticed."
"You know dudes, we should tell Mansex about this boredom. I mean, this is a free castle and we're free to state our opinions about it!" Axel and Zexion looked at Xigbar in his 'freedom pose'. He was upside down, held his head high(or low in his case) and had placed his right hand on the spot where his non-existent heart non-beats. And just cause they were too bored, they agreed and followed Xigbar to Xemnas' office. All three of them stopped. Who knows what the superior was doing in there.
"Axel, as your superior, I hereby declare you as our royal messenger. Now go in and tell Mansex about this boredom!" Xigbar started pushing the red head in but Axel freed himself.
"Wait, you can't make me messenger! That blond guy already is the messenger! Got it memorized?"
Blond guy with green eyes appeared out of nowhere. He was slightly bending over a jar and had his mouth overfilled with cookies. He looked confused at the three.
"Yomph calphed?" ("You called?")
"CAUGHT IN THE ACT!"
"HEY! THIMF IF A FWEE CAFMPH! NOONPH EVER FAID YOMPH CANPHT EAT COOKIEF!" ("Hey, this is a free castle! No one ever said you can't eat cookies!")
"Hey, he's right, dudes."
"Freedom. The reason why we're here."
"Yeah, but I don't have a reason to be here so... LOOK! IT'S NAMINE IN AN EVEN SHORTER DRESS WITH A '$2 AN HOUR' SIGN!" the messenger screamed after swallowing the cookies and pointed out the window. The three organization members turned their heads so quickly, their necks cracked loudly.
"Ou, my neck..."
"Liar! There's no Namine...HEY!" Axel turned only to face... nothing. The guy had mysteriously disappeared. And a mysterious cookie trail had mysteriously appeared on the floor, leading to a mysterious place. Axel shrugged and went to the superior's office door.
"We have to do something against this... I'm goin' in." And so he did.
Xemnas looked up from his papers. A nervous pyro had just entered his office.
"Yes?" Geez, the kid was shivering. And he's meant to be a FIRE element...
"I call for a meeting, now. It's important."
"Summon the rest then! Except for short shit of course."
Axel turned to leave but spoke again.
"Don't ya think that he was excluded enough? I mean, Sai'x found him cryin' 'Lonely' to himself in the deepest, darkest dungeon in the last chapter."
"Oh, he'll be fine. It's only this and the next one anyway, almost halfway through."
In the meeting hall, everyone minus some teenage boy who sulked in his room, was gathered, even Riku Replica, Namine and the blond messenger. Xemnas spoke first.
"So, why did you wanted a meeting?"
"This castle is falling apart! The water pipes in my room broke 13 times this week! I had to use Demyx instead!" threw Larxene in. Demyx, who wore a blindfold and rocked in his chair, shouted as well, unusually decaffeinated.
"I hadto steal Riku'sblindfold! Fixit!PLEASE! Fixitfixitfixitfixitfixitfixitfixitfixitfixit!"
"I CAN SEE! Gaah! I never knew this was so high up! HELP! I'm not gonna jump down THERE! What was Square-enix thinking when they wrote this script?! MOMMY! I WANT MY BLINDFOLD BACK! DAMN YOU, DEMYX, DAMN YOU TO KINGDOM HELL!"
-Back in the meeting room-
"That's not it, it's-" Xigbar started but was interrupted by Zexion.
"COOKIE THIEF!" the unusual loud Cloaked Schemer pointed at the blond messenger accusing.
"I can't help it! Besides, I only steal them for sulky down in the dungeons."
"He's in the dungeons again?! I'll be back!"
"NUMBER VIII(8)! STAY!" Axel sat back down. Xigbar, angry because the actual point and reason for this meeting hasn't been raised yet, yelled.
"YOU BEEPING BEEPERS SHUT THE BEEP UP! THIS IS NOT BEEPING WHY WE BEEPING CALLED THIS BEEPING MEETING!" Everyone was quiet. Xigbar usually doesn't overdose in swearing but when he did, it was a sight to see. Or a shout to hear in this case.
"Why did you call it then?" Xemnas started again, quieter than usual. Axel spoke first.
"Well, the rest, including me, were kinda thinkin' about, you doin' us a favor, since we've been doin' your dirty work since we lost track of time which was pretty long ago. To remove the boredom."
"To remove the boredom."
"So, according to you, I do not do my job as your superior well?"
Everyone looked to the ground. Riku Replica suddenly shouted.
Sudden shot of darkness.
"What did the boy say?!"
"He's right. Let us at least look at what you've been doin' all this time." Vexen said. All of the sudden Rikku(the pixie) flew through the window and grabbed the papers that Xemnas had brought with him. Xemnas stared at her first, then shot her with darkness. She dropped the papers and flew back out the window. Zexion ran to pick up the paper.
"It's a box."
Xemnas strode over to him. He grabbed the paper and turned to his fellow organization members.
"No, much better. It is a drawing of a box!" The rest stood dumbfounded.
"Gentlemen, ladies, what do boxes do?"
Vexen spoke after a couple of minutes not so hard concentrating.
"They... carry things?" Then Axel jumped to another conclusion.
"And whatever they carry, it's valuable because otherwise it wouldn't be in a box!"
"So?" Xemnas asked with a smirk.
"So we're gonna find that box!" Axel shouted exited.
"You're not making any sense at all, mate." Luxord threw in. Everyone looked at him curios.
"Well, boxes that carry things are usually delivered, so we're gonna let the box come to us." The blond gambler said natural. Xemnas nodded in agreement. Right that moment the door bell rang. That however raised another question.
"We have a door bell?" Xaldin asked.
"Oh, ok then. Marlurxia, no wait, better not, Luxord, get the door." the superior said. Luxord left the discussing room and went for the door.
"Hey there! We're from Kingdom Express and there's a package for..." the brunette read the label, looked at it again and screamed.
"XEMNAS?! But I killed him!"
"Ah, no, you're reading it wrong. It's Mansex."
"It's all good. The package?"
"Right here, sir."
"You're so very kind. Have a nice day."
"You too. Bye."
Luxord went back to the meeting room, not letting go of the unfeeling that he knew that boy... He placed the box onto the little table in the middle of the room. Xaldin asked the first question.
"So, what exactly is in that box?" Xemnas opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by Luxord who had jerked back from the box.
"I-it's alive!" he stuttered. All exchanged various looks. Then they saw it; the box pounded, as if something was trying to punch its way out. All moved back even further. Vexen dared himself to pull the lid off it. Nothing happened for a while. Okay, it wasn't a while, it was about three hours cause the organization were friggin scared beepless of the box. Axel, being the most reckless cause this had nothing to do with bravery, only boredom, neared the object of suspected evil and more likely pain. After another hour he finally got to the thing and looked inside. He snorted at the rest.
"It's only bubble wrap." Xigbar jumped off the ceiling to the box, pulled out a piece of the bubbly plastic and started popping the bubbles.
"This is great Ma-Xemnas! I love popping these!" he said enthusiastic while Axel grabbed himself a piece and also started popping the bubbles. The rest except a few soon joined in. Larxene didn't get herself some bubble wrap, she snarled at the superior for wasting her time and left the room. Lexeaus also left, muttering something about dotdotdot. Zexion watched the others happily pop their bubble wrap.
"Well that'll keep them occupied for a while. Good job, superior." he remarked, then started to read a novel that had appeared out of somewhere. Mmm, it's probably from the library on Destiny Islands, they claimed they've been robbed every night since, well, since they opened but that's not the point! The point was that the organization members were sitting like little kindergarten children on the floor, popping bubbles! Now that that's out, Zexion felt a lot better. Why or how? God knows. Or Kingdom Hearts. No matter. Xigbar looked in the box again for some more bubble wrap, however, before he could reach it, it erupted and a girl rose from it. All members under the age of 25 were cursed with a horrible nosebleed. Even Namine for strange reasons.
"GOOD LORD, PUT SOMETHING ON!" Xemnas shouted, blushing furiously. Clearly, the old man had never laid eyes on a woman's body before. Time to get laid, Xemnas. Zexion hid behind his bloodstained pages while Axel's eyes starting popping out. One might also notice that he was drooling and his nose was shrimping from the massive blood loss that kept running down his chin.
"Please don't, you might need to waste needed energy, wink wink." he said slowly smirking. Vexen randomly threw an object at him. Demyx beside him, even though he couldn't see due to the stolen blindfold he still wore, was spilling up more blood than Xaldin would have expected to be in the guy. After another glance at the exposed body of the blond girl he coughed up another lump of blood and finally dropped to the ground, possibly unconscious, hopefully (for Xaldin, he didn't approve much of Demyx) dead.
"How the bloody hell did you fit into that box?" Luxord asked, untouched by the fact the girl was naked. She shrugged at him.
"Don't know, don't even know where I am." she said. Then Xemnas took his cloak off and stopped the show. Xigbar booed to that but a quick hit of Sai'x with his claymore silenced the Free shooter. Half-sanity returned to the room while the blond messenger dragged Namine out of the room, muttering something about 'blood loss' and 'brain damage'. The girl stepped out of the box and onto the floor. She was about the same height as Zexion and had a similar fringe covering half of her left eye as him, only her hair was bright blond. Her eyes were as green as emeralds, very much like Axel's and Larxene's eyes. Zexion, most sanest person in the organization and proud of that title, asked first.
"Who are you? And what are you doing here?"
"Well, my name's Haylinn and I have no idea were I am. But this must be some rehab thingy by the looks of it." she said fast. Xemnas spoke angered.
"This is no rehab thingy, underling! You have just entered the headquarters of the evil Organization XIII!" he said proud. Suddenly Haylinn started bouncing around.
"You mean THE Organization XIII?! The thirteen crazy gay pedophile nobodies, their pet copycat Riku, house whore Namine and pop singing messenger?!" she said enthusiastic. The organization first looked at her oddly, then Zexion spoke again.
"Exclude me, please. You seem very energetic, is by any chance your element energy?"
"Yup, you're smart! Hey can I please join? PPPLLLEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSEE?" she begged. The younger members nodded hysterically. Xemnas sighed and then nodded, too. The blond jumped up and actually touched the roof.
"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I'M IN ORGANIZATION XIII!" she screamed, then ran out and explored her new territory. Everyone else left as well, leaving Xemnas by himself. He muttered to himself in disbelief.
"What have I done?"
hehe. I couldn't resist. again, pirates 2. I love those movies. oh and futurama!
how did you like the OC? I hope I put it in how you wanted it. more randomness of her to follow. and now...
Haylinn: look, I'm in the author's comment!
blond teen: o no, another unfortunate soul
Red head: get outta here, next chap you're allowed back! Haylinn, welcome to insanity!
Haylinn: I already feel like home