You know, this isn't even all that funny.
And the 'romance' bit is slapped on the end like a sorry piece of tape…
Be glad I don't own Phoenix Wright or any of its characters. It would be a very bad game if I did.
Miles Edgeworth didn't know what overcame him when he had agreed to this.
He tried to think of a possibility of being slightly intoxicated at the time, but he was painfully aware that no alcohol had passed his lips when he had thoughtlessly said yes.
Only now was that he wished he had brought some red wine to gulp recklessly.
"Isn't it great?!"
Uh…no. Miles fought the obvious grimace threatening to pass his face. He schooled his expression blank as he blandly stated; "It's interesting to say the least."
"Is that all you have to say?" Phoenix Wright grinned widely back at Miles, his boyish charm gleaming through his blue eyes. "It's beautiful!"
"Wright…" the silver haired man placed his thumb and index finger over his forehead in a hopeless massage; he felt a headache coming to him, "It's just a tree."
"Objection," Phoenix playfully pointed at the prosecutor as he motioned towards the subject of their conversation with his other hand, "It's a Christmas tree."
Oh, how could I have missed that? Miles bit back any sarcastic remark he would've loved to make as he continued to observe the tree with his childhood friend. If he was completely honest with himself; the twenty seven year old could appreciate how grand the large decoration gave the impression of being, but… "Isn't a bit too tall?"
The defense attorney blinked once. Then twice.
Miles sighed quietly to himself. Of course he didn't think about that when he bought it…
The two men were inside Phoenix's office on a Sunday, and they were there for one reason alone:
To decorate the ridiculously giant tree occupying an entire corner of the office.
"I do not decorate trees, Wright."
"Maya's not here to help me!" The spiky haired man had whined, "She won't be here for Christmas either! And I can't do it on my own…"
And it was with those weak arguments Miles Edgeworth had found himself holding a long row of multicolored lights and sparkling white garnish.
It's going to be a long day…
Phoenix placed a stepstool next to the tree and hopped on to the top step. "Here, let me see that…" Phoenix made to grab the rope-like lights as he leaned down, but Miles felt a little sadistic at the moment.
He subtly moved away so the lights in his hands were barely out of the defense attorney's reach.
Phoenix frowned in bewilderment as he noticed he wasn't close enough to grab the lights himself, "Hey Edgeworth, would it kill you to make an effort to help me?" He impatiently motioned his fingers for the lights.
For an irrational minute, the silver haired man thought Yes, it would. But he quickly formed a smirk on his lips and sneered, "What's the magic word, Wright?"
The spiky haired man looked to seriously consider something along the lines of murder, but he finally huffed, "Please."
Miles nonchalantly passed the roll of lights without any delay, and Phoenix noticeably cheered a bit. He busily wrapped the lights around the tip of the tree with little difficultly, but as soon as he hit the middle of the tree…
"Edgewoooorth…." The defense attorney turned to his silent companion from his position on the stepstool, "Heeeelp…"
Suppressing the natural urge to roll his eyes, the silver haired man pointedly commented, "You wouldn't need help if the tree was away from the wall."
"…but it is."
I can see that. "Okay…get off that stepstool, for one thing; you don't need it anymore right now." Phoenix readily complied, and he positioned himself in front of the tree, lights at hand.
But before Miles could continue giving instructions, Phoenix got a light bulb to flash above his head. "Just go around the back and I'll pass you the lights to wrap around!" the defense attorney grinned with his brilliant idea.
"Wright, I can't fit in the back. The tree is in the corner."
"Sure you can! You look thinner than me!"
Was that a compliment of an insult? Against his better judgment, and to quiet the defense attorney, the prosecutor pressed himself against the wall and slid behind the tree.
And was met with an attack of pine on his face.
Miles couldn't choose whether to laugh or to cry with the thought of himself crushed to death by a tree. Would Wright be the murderer, and the tree the murder weapon…? Shaking the odd thought aside, the twenty seven year old blindly waved his arm to signal that he could receive the lights.
Only seeing his arm, Phoenix leaned forward to pass the wires around the wide tree. He only just managed to reach, and he turned to the opposite side of the wall to await the lights again.
Miles didn't speak the entire time he was helping with the lights, but if he had, it would've been a string of curses; if he thought he was being crushed by the tree by merely standing, then he was gradually suffocating while holding and maneuvering the blasted lights around the tree.
"Done!" Phoenix announced as he placed the end of lights at the bottom of the tree, and he stood back to admire their work.
"Mrpph, augh!" With a few more pained groans, Miles stumbled out from behind the corner; pine needles sticking to his hair and clothes. Even his prized cravat had spots of pine sap covering it.
Gallantly ignoring the stiffed chuckles from his friend, the prosecutor straightened out his attire as best he could before asking, "What's next?"
"Well…" Phoenix tapped his chin, "We can do the garnish ne-"
A puppy dog face; complete with sparkling crystal eyes.
How can he manage to do that? Miles clicked his tongue irritably. "Fine," He grounded out forcefully, "But I'm moving that tree."
Not waiting for anymore protests, or any more manipulation on defense attorney's part, the silver haired man took hold of the tree's trunk in a firm grip. With a low grunt, he lifted the tree off the floor and placed it down in the middle of the office.
Miles was practically radiating satisfaction.
Phoenix frowned, but he said nothing else on the matter; choosing instead to pass the long line of sparkling 'rope' to the prosecutor.
Free to move completely around the tree, the odd pair made quick work of the garnish, much to Miles' pleasure. Only those round ornaments to do now…! He thought with an unhealthy glee.
"Ornament time!" Phoenix pulled a box from seemingly nowhere, and began pulling out strangely shaped decorations. There were several pinecones, Santas, snowmen; there were even miniature picture frames, but there wasn't a single round glass colored ornament.
At Miles' puzzled expression, the spiky haired man smiled and explained, "I don't get those glass things; they break too easily. And besides…" Phoenix's blue eyes grew distant, "these hold a lot of memories."
"Memories," Miles echoed, absentmindedly picking up one of the picture frames. The twenty seven year old almost dropped it; the picture contained within was his younger self, frozen in time with a shy smile on his lips as he was sandwiched between a grinning Larry and a laughing Phoenix. "I see."
"Yeah…" the defense attorney rubbed the back of his head, a light blush staining his cheeks, "I know I shouldn't keep stuff like that…"
The prosecutor only hummed thoughtfully in reply as he hung the picture on one of the branches.
"Whew…finished finally," Phoenix leaned and basically fell back to sit on the carpeted floor. "That took forever!"
"Only because you had to stop at every little decoration and reminisce." Miles stood above the spiky haired man, arms crossed over his chest in what he hoped to be an impatient manner.
But the defense attorney completely ignored the statement, "Now to put the tree back in the corner!"
"Excuse me?" Miles didn't need Phoenix to speak, his face plainly read, You're the one who moved it, now put it back. With an inaudible sigh, the silver haired man gripped the tree once more, and hauled it up.
Why Miles didn't think of it before, he didn't know, but as soon as the tree rose from the floor, the thought struck: Aren't the ornaments going to fall…?
Everything happened at once: several pinecones slipped off the tree and one rolled underneath Miles' lifted foot, Phoenix attempted to stand in order to help, Miles fell back with the tree and all towards the defense attorney…
A loud crash and a pair of curses later, the silver haired man found himself between a prickly rough tree, and a rigid warm body. The body underneath him squirmed slightly, and Miles realized himself asking, "Wright, are you hurt?"
"N-no…" Came the strangled reply, and the prosecutor couldn't help but laugh quietly at the warm breath tickling the back of his neck. And for some unknown reason, he felt his cheeks flush slightly. "But, you're heavy Edgeworth…"
"Humph," So much for being thinner, huh? Concentrating on the tree on top of them both, Miles strained his arms and managed to push the large weight off, sending more ornaments flying. He quickly stood up, wanting to be rid of his blush and turning to Phoenix who was still lying on the floor. "Get up already," the silver haired man offered a hand, which the other gladly took.
Phoenix brushed all the pine needles off his body, before turning to the other man. "Thanks for destroying the tree…" Though the words should've sounded bitter, there was the smile on his face that betrayed any other feelings.
"You're welcome," Miles wryly responded. Noticing the rather large smile on the spiky haired man's face though, the prosecutor narrowed his gray eyes in suspicion. "What's so amusing?"
Almost too calmly, Phoenix indistinctly leaned forward and picked something off the silver haired man's head. It was one of the ornaments from the tree, the silver haired man identified as he looked up towards it, and briefly wondered what was significant about a green branch with little red berries.
As if he heard the unasked question, Phoenix answered, "It's a mistletoe, Miles."
N sooner than any other thoughts could be processed, Miles felt soft lips press onto his own. His sight and mind went absolutely blank as he tried to register what was happening. Phoenix is kissing me. That's right. Why? Because the tradition with mistletoes. Conclusion? Working on that…
But as quickly as it had started, the warmth left Miles' lips; and Phoenix came into his vision, breathing heavily and blushing a bright crimson.
"T-there you go," the defense attorney laughed nervously while he looked away, "Crazy traditions we have, h-huh?"
The silver haired man thoughtlessly licked his lips as he stared at Phoenix. Conclusion…?
Kiss him back, damnit!
In a mock-grace movement, Miles tilted his head to claim Phoenix's lips, with a squeak in reply from the defense attorney. The prosecutor's lips tenderly massaged the other mouth, sending shivers down his spine. It was new, strange, but it felt so...right. Wright Right Wright…The pun bounced around in his head and Miles nearly laughed.
Finally, the need for breath arose, and they both separated, gasping for air. Phoenix recovered first, and he only breathed, "Wha…?" His face compared to a tomato.
Miles Edgeworth felt a smirk tug at his lips.
The 'grand' Christmas tree laid on the floor, sadly ruined and somewhat forgotten.